๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
โ ๏ธ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: ๐ง๐จ๐ง๐, ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐, ๐ฃ๐๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐ง
๊จ๏ธ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฌ: ๐ช๐ข๐ง ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข ๐ก๐ฎ๐๐ง๐ , ๐๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ, ๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ก๐, ๐ก๐๐๐๐ฌ, ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐๐ข๐๐จ๐ง, ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ซ, ๐ฅ๐จ๐ค๐ข, ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ง๐จ๐จ ๐ง๐จ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐จ๐ญ๐จ, ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ณ๐๐๐ฎ๐, ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
He was basically the third wheel in the family now
He knew the responsibilities of a father was serious, especially now that his son was going to be the heir to the throne
But he didnโt expect his son to be the bane of his existence
โMommy, am I cute?โ (S/n) asked sadly.
โYes, you are.โ You smiled, โVery cute.โ
โIโm cute too!โ Qin shouted next to you but his cries went unheard
โAm I strong, mommy?โ
โVery strong, sweetheart!โ
โIโm strong too!โ Qin shouted once again, flexing his muscles but no one batted him an eye
โAm I handsome, mommy?โย
โYes, very handsome.โ
โIโm handsome!โ Qin shoved his face into yours.
โAm I more handsome than daddy?โ (S/n) asked with a shit grin on his face.
You blinked as Qin slowly turned his head to look at his stupid son
โYes, youโre more handsome than daddy. You are the most handsome man in the world.โ You giggled
Qin lost it
The audacity!
โHim? Handsome?โ Qin repeated slowly, โWhat can he even do?! He canโt even stand on his two legs or lift you up or protect you! He canโt even write his own name and heโs the size of a shrimp!โ
โQin, calm down!โ You blinked with confusion.
โAll he does is eat, sleep, and shi-โ
โOkay! Thatโs enough! Both of you are handsome!โ
๐๐๐๐๐๐
This was the worst day of Apolloโs life
He was looking forward to spending time with you so imagine his disappointment when you left for an emergency meeting and he was stuck here in boredom
With his son
Who loves you more
โWow, you are terrible at this daddy.โ (S/n) pouted as Apollo accidentally set the kitchen on fire again.
โHow about you do it then?โ Apollo snapped at his son.
โMommy is so much cooler than you.โ (S/n) began to daydream, โShe can do so many things at once and she never loses her composure. Unlike you, who canโt even beat an egg properly.โ
Apollo ignored him as he angrily whisked the batter
โDid you manipulate mommy in marrying you?โ (S/n) asked from behind
This piece of shit-
โNo, I did not!โ Apollo whipped around, โIf you question-โ
A pancake was thrown onto his face, as the syrup dripped into his hair and clothes
(S/n) began to holler with laughter as Apollo was shaking with rage
Why didnโt he pull out that one time-
You finally got home in the evening and you were confused when your husband and son were absent
A scream alerted you and you rushed up the stairs to see Apollo dangling (S/n) over the balcony
โApollo! What are you doing?!โ You freaked out.
โIโm teaching him a lesson!โ Apollo shouted passionately, holding his heart with his free hand, โHeโll never question our love again and Iโll make sure he never comes between you and me!โ
โShut up and put him down!โ
๐๐๐๐๐
He knew he was better than this
This was so childish, unnecessary, and stupid but at the same time, he was jealous of his son
You were humming a song while your son was curled up in your lap, and your husband was sending daggers behind his book
That stupid brat was in your lap for 4 hours!
Hades never even got 4 hours with you!
Well he did, but that was before you gave birth
His son was so clingy to you, following you everywhere like a new chick and you in returnโฆ donโt pay attention to your husband anymore
He felt left out
โMommy! Can we go to Mt. Olympus today?โ Your son asked you excitedly
โOf course! But what about daddy? Donโt you want to take him too?โ You asked him gently
โNo thanks.โ (S/n) replied right away, as if Hades never existed, โHeโs always so focused on work and his image, plus heโs always hogging you. I want mommy to myself!โ
You were taken back by your sonโs words but before you could say anything, an arm wrapped around your waist
โYou want my wife to yourself?โ
His son blinked as he watched his father hug you and place a gentle kiss to your cheek
โDonโt touch her!โ He snapped at Hades
โI want mommy to myself too.โ Hades replied smoothly, making you blush, โHow about we go on a dinner date tonight?โ
โB-but what about (S/n)?โ You asked worriedly.
The god gave you a gentle smile before his eyes darted towards his son, as he smirked victoriously and viciously
Oh, (S/n) will be alright
Because Poseidon will watch over him
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
He swears this child is an accident
He was slowly sulking as he was forced to watch you bathe (S/n), who was hogging his mother on purpose
The God of the Sea was so tired and despite his ruthless self, he was looking forward to spending time with you
Until he remembered there was an extra at home
Poseidon thought his piercing gaze and aura would catch your attention but you never once turned to look at him
โI want a big cake for my birthday along with unicorns, pegasuses, and fire-breathing dragons!โ (S/n) listed, โI also want mommy to be there to help me blow the candles!โ
โWhat about daddy?โ You snickered.
โDaddy can stay at home.โ (S/n) shot back with glee, โHe always ruins the fun and his face scares everyone.โ
That was it.
This kid was definitely an accident
(S/n) was about to say something when he spluttered as the water in the bath began to overflow
You squealed when you were suddenly lifted up into the air by your husband
โPoseidon! Put me-โ
โLet me make this clear.โ Poseidon hissed at the shithead in front of him.
His son was a mirror image of him
โThis is my wife. Iโm the only one who gets to be with her and Iโll never let you take her away from me, you little brat.โ Poseidon threatened.
His son immediately began to cry and he couldnโt help but smile
โPoseidon!โ You screamed out loud, โYou deserve to be punished for that!โ
Poseidon didnโt even care until you spoke the next line
โNo kisses for you until you apologise!"
๐๐๐๐๐๐
Buddha thought he was excited to be a father until his son stole all your attention
You hardly pay attention to him anymore, you barely spend time with him at all, and whatโs worseโฆ you donโt even bake for him anymore!
Every time his son would hug you, the little squirt would send daggers along his way along with a slappable smirk
That little shit!
You may have birthed him but without his help, the little brat wouldnโt even exist!
It was time for payback
โMommy! Daddy ate all the cookies!โย
Your son was bawling his eyes out as he sobbed
โBuddha! Did you eat all the cookies I made for (S/n)?!โ You confronted your lover
โHuh?โ Buddha didnโt even care
The god was draped over an armchair was he licked his lips that were covered with crumbs
โHow many times do I have to tell you to not eat (S/n)โs cookies?! I have to make another batch again!โ You groaned
The little shit was watching him closely behind your legs, as a wide smirk was present
Buddha has had enough
He scrunched up his face and he suddenly looked unwell
โWhatโs wrong?โ Your face instantly changed to worry
โI-I donโt know, babyโฆโ He choked, โI donโt feel very good. I think I might be sick.โ
โFrom what?โ
โFrom you not paying attention to me.โ He whined, โAll you do is talk about (S/n) this, (S/n) that, (S/n), (S/n), blah, blah, blah. Do you even love me?โ
โOf course I love you!โ You quickly told him.
Buddha smirked and he opened his arms and you immediately hugged him, placing kisses all across his face
Buddhaโs eyes glistened victoriously as he stuck out his tongue at his son, whose mouth gaped to the ground
Karma is a bitch
๐๐๐๐
โI want to marry mommy when I grow up!โ
He and his wife were sitting in a bar in Asgard when the little shit had to start running his mouth
You giggled at how cute your son was while the others around you three were silently cooing and awing at the interaction
Thor was debating whether or not to throw his son out the window
โBut what about daddy? Mommy will be sad without daddy.โ You replied, pretending to sniff, โCanโt we take him along?โ
(S/n) froze as he knew how much his father was in love with his mother
Thor was absolutely obsessed with his mother, always protecting her, hugging her, and pressing kisses against her forehead
(S/n) watched with wide eyes and he knew he also wanted to have a loving life in the future like his parents
Which is why he wanted to marry mommy
โI love daddy too but I love you more!โ He exclaimed, โDonโt worry! Daddy can be my bridesmaid!โ
A loud sound instantly shut him up as Thor slammed his cup onto the table
โDonโt you dare steal my wife from me.โ He threatened.
You were going to scold him for acting so childish in public but (S/n) didnโt back down as he puffed his chest
โFight me then!โ He demanded.
His father stared at him with irritated eyes until he leaned down and kissed his wife passionately in front of everyone
You stiffened as you felt your face turning redder than your husbandโs hair as (S/n) began to freak out
โNo fair! Youโre cheating!โ
๐๐๐๐
Loki knew his life was going to turn upside down when you told him you were pregnant
A little life was going to be born and he didnโt know if he would be a good father, but you assured him many times
When his son was born, things got a bit better
The first time he held his son, he knew they were going to create chaos to the world together
His precious baby
He didnโt believe he could love someone as much as he loved you
Untilโฆ
โMommy, why did you marry someone as ugly as daddy?โ
Loki was napping in the tree until his eyes shot open
What?
WHAT DID THE LITTLE SHIT SAY?!
He looked down and to his horror, his son was dead serious while you laughed
โI think daddy is very handsome.โ You giggled, โI donโt regret marrying him. If it werenโt for him, you wouldnโt be here, (S/n).โ
โHe got yelled at by Odin last night and Uncle Thor beat him up.โ (S/n) pouted, โI think you can do better, mommy.โ
Lokiโs eyes were twitching and in an instant, he turned into a crow and he began to peck his son
You freaked out since you knew it was your husband as you tried to separate them
โStop it, Loki! Getting jealous of your son?! How hopeless can you get?!โ
Loki was forced to sleep on the couch that night
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
You were the love of this godโs life so imagine his horror when a little nugget suddenly became the center of your life and he casted off to the side
When he first realized he was going to be a father, he was ecstatic
He could imagine him and his son training, fighting, and winning battles all over the pantheons and he was thrilled he could get the chance to share his experience with his offspring
Except no
His son was a mamaโs boy
It was always mommy this, mommy that, โI wAnT MoMmY!โ, and yada yada yada
Whenever he would try to spend time with his son, the first thing the little brat would ask is, โWhere is mommy?โ
He hardly even sees you anymore because of this shithead!
You were in the middle of relaxing while your son cuddled into your lap
โCan we go to the hot spring, mommy?โ He asked
โOf course! We should bring daddy too!โ You replied and he frowned.
โBut daddy ruins all the fun!โ He whines, โI want mommy, I wAnT mOmMy, I WANT MOMMY!โ
The god was in the other room and he heard the entire conversation
He stormed in and he pushed his son out of your lap, before he cuddled in his place
โHoney! What are you doing?!โ You asked in alarm
He gave you a charming smile in which you blushed, while his son began to throw a tantrum
โHow about we spend some time together?โ He asked you sweetly, โI miss you, my love. A lot.โ
His voice turned deeper as he emphasized a lot, his hand squeezing your thigh, sending butterflies swirling in your stomach
โWhat about me?!โ The third wheel snapped like a shrimp
He lifted you up and he sent his son a devious smile
โYou can stay in the kiddie pool.โ
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
This poor bloke craves love more than anyone in the world so imagine his happiness when he could live a life with you without any consequencesย
The moment you announced you were pregnant, this god was so happy yet nervous
He was afraid heโd somehow hurt his child or reactivate his curse the moment he expressed his love, but you reassured him everything was fine
When his son was born, he held the precious bundle tightly, vowing to destroy the world for his son if needed
Until his son broke his heart
โMommy has a meeting. You stay home with daddy, okay?โ You asked your son.
โI donโt want to.โ He pouted.
โWhy not?โ
โIโm scared of daddy.โ
He heard that clear like glass and he felt his heart shattered
The moment you came home, your son was being watched by a nanny and you asked for your husbandโs whereabouts
You found him curled up in his bed, sulking with such gloominess you thought you were going to turn miserable
โWhatโs wrong?โ You asked him with worry
He refused to talk but the moment you teared up, he relented
โOur son hates me.โ He mumbled, โI have no need to exist. I can die now.โ
You were speechless
โHe doesnโt hate you!โ You snapped at him.
โYou heard him, he said it himself.โ He grumbled softly.
โHe doesnโt mean it! You just need to spend more time with him, thatโs all!โ You protested, โItโs way better than locking yourself in that lab of yours!โ
He didnโt want to but he finally agreed
It took a while but after your son realised his father wasnโt a douchebag, he wanted to spend time with him everyday
โIโm going out now!โ You called your two boys.
โHave fun.โ Your husband responded, allowing his son to draw all over his face
All they needed were a little pushย
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
Honestly, out of all those above, this demigod is probably the most sane
He wouldnโt want to throw his son out the window, stomp him, drown him, challenge him, peck him, abandon him, or any of that nonsenseย
Heโs very serious in relationships and he completely devotes himself the moment he realizes heโs going to be a father
Even though he knows his son loves you more, deep down, heโs glad that youโre such an amazing motherย
โMommy, who do you love more?โ Your son asked and you raised an eyebrow
Your husband was right beside you and he cast you a look, as if daring you to choose the other option
โI love you both equally.โ You responded with a smile, praying that answer was enough
โYou have to pick one!โ Your son protested, โMe or daddy! Tell daddy you love me more!โ
Your son pouted and you couldnโt help but gush at how cute he was
This little nugget was so good at manipulation
โI canโt choose between you both! Youโre both my boys!โ You raised your hands
You were stuck in such turmoil until you blinked when your husband lifted you up in one arm
He then took your son and he held you both closely to him
โWell, thereโs always enough love to give to all three of us, isnโt it?โ He asked calmly, โAll that matters is that weโre together. Forever.โย
He kissed his sonโs cheek before he placed a deep kiss on your lips
Cheeky bastard
โThatโs right. Thereโs no need to fight.โ You smiled, completely falling for your husbandโs handsome tricks as you snuggled against his neck
โYou still didnโt answer my question, mommyโฆโ You son fidgeted his fingers but you laughed and stroked his hair
โI love you both.โ
Hey guys, it's been a while! Life was extremely busy for me so I didn't get the chance to focus on my oneshots and stories. Doctorate school has been so busy, the wedding date has been set, and we've recently adopted a dog as well. Anyways, I hope you enjoy these funny headcannons! It's inspired by a scene I saw at the airport lol. โโ หโ๐ฐ๐ฅ เญจเญง
In addition: my messages and inbox has been turned on once again. I'm happy to answer any questions regarding my stories but I'm not accepting requests. Just a heads up in case I don't reply - not that I don't want to, I'm just too busy and my past inbox was swamped with requests so it kind of stressed me out. Also, many of the requests were crossovers with fandoms I've never heard of. Other than that, I'm aiming to update my stories this coming weekend. Thanks for all the support.
