#roasts

Now everywhere Erika goes, a roast of Sam Reich follows... 🔥

Will: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

Nico: ...fuck you, Solace.

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Nico: What do you want to be for Halloween?

Will: Yours.

Nico:

Nico: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.

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Will, turning to Nico: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

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Will: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...

Jax: avoidant attachment final boss. You know you have a terrible personality but are too tired to do anything about it because the capitalist hellscape we are in is burning you out before you can even think about self improvement. You’re the type of person who stops going to therapy and taking their meds when they are doing well and then wonder why they feel like shit again (hint, it’s the meds and therapy).

Gangle: holy low self esteem Batman. You are chronically online and retreat into fiction to distract from how much you hate your life and yourself. Also you were probably bullied as a kid. Healthy relationships? Never heard of her. You were the friend that walked behind everyone else when the sidewalk was to narrow.

V: that one friend who is too woke. You are very aware of your own mortality which causes you to have an existential crisis and die your hair once every few months. Know that almost all problems in the world are connected to late stage capitalism but never say anything because you don’t want to ruin thanksgiving.

The lamb: oh boy do you have religious trauma for days. Major control freak and micromanager which makes you insufferable to everyone around you but you care about results more then friends because who needs them. Cannot stay one task for more then a few seconds. You love bad boys and dark romance but in real life your type is a guy who cooks good and doesn’t treat you like shit.

homelander: I’m sorry you have how many mental illnesses! And you watch how many anime’s! You got into a creative hobby because you were genuinely passionate about it but now are burnt out but still continuing because you don’t want to disappoint the people who like your work and also secretly like the validation it gives you. Also you have daddy issues

Charlie Morningstar: You have a massive savior complex because you believe that if you can fix others you can have hope that you can somehow fix yourself. You put your all into your work and hobbies to avoid the fact that you don’t really have friends. Your wimsy and optimism are annoying but how else are you gonna avoid having a mental breakdown about the fact that you are behind all your peers in almost all aspects of your life.

Daisy Buchanan: no you are not Lolita you just have depression. When you feel sad you pretend you are in a sad French movie instead of talking with a friend, but then again it’s not like you have any of those. Anti capitalist but born into a wealthy family and constantly feel guilty about it.