#rhodey x reader

“I didn’t sleep well last night.” You answered Sam.

“Nightmares?” Rhodey guessed.

“More like a memory,” you took a bite of your bagel, hoping they wouldn’t ask more questions.

“Rhodes and I haven’t gone to the batting cage in a while. Do you want to join us?” Sam asked. You stared at him, slowly chewing on the bagel. You had no idea what a batting cage was. “It’s a baseball thing. You go and hit baseballs and pretend to be a pro athlete.”

“Ohhh,” you said, standing up to throw the other half of your bagel away. “You could have just said that.” Sam sighed, shaking his head. “Sure I have nothing planned for today.” Plus it would be nice to get out of the tower. “FRIDAY, can you tell Natasha and Wanda where I’m going to be?” You made a mental note to ask Tony for a new phone.

“Of course, Miss. Y/n,” the AI said. “Have fun you three.” It was a 45-minute drive from the tower in a part of town you had never been to. ‘Caesar’s Bat and Pizzeria.

“Can we get pizza after?” You asked as Rhodey parked the car and you unblocked your seat belt.

“We can get whatever you want,” he said. The three of you got out of the car and walked over to the building. Sam held open the door for you. The sound of loud arcade machines and laughter made you jump.

“My favorite Avengers!” A man said from behind a counter. “Where the hell have you two been? Thought you forgot about ol'Casear.” Sam chuckled.

“Hard to forget you, big man,” Caesar glared at him.

“Are you calling me fat?” You tried to cover your laugh with a cough but Caesar glanced at you. “You guys adopt a kid or something.”

“Eh kind of,” Rhodey shrugged. “You got a spot open for us.” The man continued to stare at you but you smiled and gave him a small wave.

“Yeah, same spot as always,” he said. “Come find me if you need anything.” You followed the two Avengers to a stall in the corner, there was no one next to you, and you were grateful to look like an idiot in front of some strangers. The space reminded you of the shooting range at the tower but instead of targets at the end, there was a screen.

“Wait,” you said, sitting down. “How is any of this safe with it being inside and this close to one another?” Sam smiled.

“It’s all VR,” he pulled out his wallet and pulled out his wallet, took out a car with the shop’s logo, and scanned it at the table you were sitting at. The table changed to a TV screen and it showed a baseball stadium. “You can change the stadium where you are hitting. We’ll keep it at Yankee for now.” Rhodey appeared with a bat and goggles. “Watch this.” You watched Rhodey put on the goggles and stepped into the open space. The screen changed to a character stepping up to bat. “You can change the speed of the ball pitched, complete challenges, and set up tournaments.” He began and he hit the first ball pitched to him. It sounded like you were at a baseball game.

“This is cool,” you said. “Is this place new?”

“Sort of,” Sam looked around to make sure no one was near and leaned closer. “Caesar isn’t from here.” What the hell did that mean?

“Come again? Like he’s not American.” He glared at you before rolling his eyes.

“No, like not from Earth.”

“He’s an alien?!” You half shouted in surprise. Sam put his hand over your mouth, still glaring at you. You pulled his hand off. “You just told me a man isn’t from Earth, how did you expect me to react?”

“With a little more respect and dignity,” you punched him playfully. “Besides he’s not an alien, he’s a Skrull,” you stared at him, head tilted to the side. “Oh my god,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Skrulls are shapeshifters and their planet was destroyed so until Fury and Carol can find them a new home, they are living here,” you frowned.

“Why can’t they just live here?” You asked.

“Because humans aren’t known to accept those who are different,” Rhodey said, taking off the googles. Well, you knew that firsthand. “Do you want a turn?” He asked you.

“Uh maybe I’ll watch Sam then I’ll go.” While Sam was taking his turn, you went to get drinks from Caesar’s daughter. Her name was Jasmine and you liked her, her smile was infectious but you couldn’t help but watch the father-daughter duo. If anyone but Sam told you they weren’t human, you would think they were crazy. You guessed that was the problem with the world you lived in, some people had to hide their true selves just to survive.

“Alright, kid, batter up,” Sam said, handing you the VR set. You smiled, taking it from him. Oh, you wished you could make the world a better place.

*

While Sam and Rhodey were waiting to get their pizza from Jasmine, you were sitting at one of the empty high tops and eating away at one of the cheese slices. You tried to wait for the two Avengers but the smell was making your stomach growl. “I know you,” Caesar said, walking over to you as you sipped on your blue Gatorade. You stared at the man as he sat in the empty chair next to you. You hopped he knew you, you spent like 2 hours at his fine establishment. “Hey,” he stuck his finger at you. “Your that teenager that can cast spells and shit.” You blinked at him.

“You mean conduct electricity.” He snapped his fingers.

“That’s the one,” he tapped his fingers against the table and looked at you then to the Avengers. “People are talking about you.”

“Me?” You questioned. “Whose talking about me?”

“The type of people you ain’t want talking,” Oh. Well, that sort of answered your question. “Look, kid, something ain’t right. People are talking, then disappearing, and ol’Caesar is just trying to run a business, you hear?”

“Why are you telling me this and not the two Avengers behind you?” You hissed, leaning closer to him.

“Hey, watch the attitude, short stuff,” you leaned back in your chair, mouth slightly open. “Just because I listen don’t mean I know what’s going on,” you rolled your eyes. “My advice is keep your ears open and listen. Maybe you can figure out what’s going on before everything goes to shit.” He mumbled the last part and left before Sam and Rhodey joined you.

“Don’t listen to anything that nut job rambles about,” Rhodey said. “He’s got a few screws loose.” You smiled, giggling slightly. But what he said rattled you to your bones. What the hell was going on?

*

Caesar was saying goodbye to Sam and told him to not be a stranger. Your eyes wandered to the small arcade they had. There was a crane game filled with small rubber ducks. You walked over to it and looked at all the different duck variations - one was dressed like a police officer, and another had a book. But one that caught your eye was a duck wearing a green jersey with a soccer ball. It looked familiar. There was a memory deep within you but everything you tried to grab onto it slipped out of your fingers like water or smoke, the longer you stared at the dumb duck. “Hey, kid,” Rhodey said. “Are you ready?” You nodded, walking over to him.

“Bye Caesar,” you waved as Rhodey held open the door for you.

“See you around, short stuff,” you rolled your eyes and walked to the car.

“Short stuff, eh?” Rhodey teased. He got into the driver’s seat. You huffed, buckling into the back.

“Don’t even start,” he laughed as Sam finally got into the passenger seat.

“Sorry about that. Caesar likes to talk,” you giggled and Rhodey started the drive back home.

*

“That was a lot of fun,” you said to Sam as you exited the elevator to the common floor. “We should do that again.” Your smile faltered as Bucky turned around from his conversation with Maria. The color drained from his face as if he were looking at a ghost. He left without another word to you, Sam, or Maria.

“Okay,” Maria slowly said. “I wasn’t done talking to him.” You sighed.

“Not your fault, kid,” Sam smiled, resting his hand on your shoulder. “He just needs to get out of his head. I’ll go talk to him.” Before he turned to leave, he reached into this pocket and handed you a rubber duck. The same one you were looking at. Before you could say anything, he smiled and left.

“What was that about?” She questioned. You looked at the duck and put it in your pocket.

“It’s a long story,” you said. “Do you want the spark-notes version of the story?” She nodded. So, you gave her a short-handed version of the story you gave to the other Avengers. It was surprisingly easier.

“Shit,” you said. “I missed one hell of a party.” You rolled your eyes with a smile. “So,” she leaned back in her chair. “A little spider told me that I’m going to be training you. Are you thinking about joining this ragtag group? Fury said you did well in Overwatch .” You shrugged, tracing the random designs on the table.

“I don’t know,” you said. You weren’t against being an Avenger, maybe in a year or two but right now you weren’t ready. “I just want to get my powers under control so I don’t hurt myself or anyone else.” Maria smiled.

“I can help with that but I’m not gonna go easy on you just because you are Romanoff’s kid,” it wasn’t the first time someone at the tower referred to you as Natasha’s or Wanda’s kid but every time a warm feeling spread across your body. Your parents were never proud of you. They barely gave you enough to survive.

“I expect nothing less,” you said. “Can you teach me how to shoot a gun?”

“Stop asking people that,” Natasha said before Maria could answer. The Black Widow appeared behind you. You pouted which caused her to roll her eyes.

“Awe come on Nat,” Maria said. “Let the kid learn how to shoot. Are you afraid she’ll be better than you?” Natasha ruffled your hair.

“Yeah,” she deadpanned. “That’s exactly why I don’t want her shooting a gun,” you pushed her hand away and fixed your hair. “But we can teach her how to be safe around one.”

“How about we stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Maria hushed you.

“I’m wheeling and dealing for your benefit so hush,” she teased. You stuck out your tongue at her. Maria gasped. “Do you want to start training right now?”

“Children,” Natasha warned. “No fighting on the common floor. The last time a fight broke out we needed a new TV and a couch,” you giggled. “Come on, kid. Tony wants to have a meeting about your schooling.” You nodded. “We’ll figure out a training schedule that won’t conflict with her classes.” She said to Maria.

“Aye, aye captain,” she gave the Black Widow a salute. You smiled at the interaction.

“See you around, Maria,” you said and followed Natasha to Tony’s lab where Wanda was already there. You weren’t nervous. The test was the hard part of all of this and they were proud of how you did. But it was nice having the couple on either side of you as Tony rattled off a plan. The textbooks you needed were already ordered, minus a math textbook that he already had, and if you needed additional books for essays or projects he gave you a debit card to buy them. You didn’t bother putting up a fight with that. As for your ‘teachers’, Vision was going to help you with history, Bruce and Tony were for math and science, and your training with Maria counted as your physical education credit. The extracurricular would be business with Pepper and art with Steve, the two agreed to shadow you during those times. It seemed like a lot of work but you were ready to finally go to school and learn.

*

You had to get out of the tower. Every room you entered and Bucky so happened to be there, he left. It was a little maddening. So, you sat on the balcony with a textbook in your lap and the rubber duck in your hand. There was a part of you that was associating this duck with Bucky. But that couldn’t be correct. “Hi,” you spun around to see Steve walking over to you and hiding the duck underneath the book. You smiled at the blonde and looked at the book. You figured he was here to talk about Bucky. God, it felt like when you first moved to the tower. Instead of you running away, it was him. Steve sighed and sat down next to you. “Beautiful view,” he said, looking towards the city. “What are you doing up here?”

“Just reading,” you gestured to the book in your lap. It wasn’t the full truth but it got the point across.

“It’s about Buck, right?”

“I just don’t want him to be uncomfortable in his home,” you shrugged.

“It’s your home too,” he sat down next to you. That was true. You tapped your fingers on the page you were reading.

“He was here first,” Steve nodded and put his arms on the back of the chair. He didn’t continue the conversation so you went back to reading about ration language and how it was used to describe the association between two or more qualities. You were learning that you did not like math.

“Do you blame him for what he did to you?” Steve broke the silence. The question made you look up at the city. “It’s okay if do. The whole situation is so complicated. Complicated. That was one word that barely touched the surface to describe the relationship you had with Bucky Barnes.

“I don’t,” you softly said. You saw the super solider look away from the city but you kept your eyes trained on the skyline. “At first I did but we were both just trying to survive. It’s not our fault that some of the world is evil and we were subjected to it.” Steve chuckled and you looked at him.

“You’ve changed so much from that little girl that Wanda and Natasha brought to the tower,” he said while standing up.

“Wait, is that a good thing?” You asked.

“Yeah,” he kissed the top of your head. “A very good thing.”

*

As night fell on the tower, everyone seemed to be asleep except you and the former Winter Solider. His back was to you so he didn’t see you, which didn’t give him a chance to run away. “Do you want some hot chocolate?” The soldier jumped and spun around to look at you. “Don’t run from me, please,” you pleaded. You heard him sigh and stand up to join you in the kitchen. He sat on the island with his hands folded on the counter. You began the process of making the hot chocolate in silence. But you noticed he wasn’t looking at you, he stared at his hands as if he was afraid he was going to snap and hurt you. When the hot chocolate was done and topped with marshmallows and cinnamon, you pushed his mug over to him. He wouldn’t take it. You sipped on yours. “Are you okay, Bucky?” You asked. “I want to help but I can’t if you don’t tell me what I can do.”

“How can you be in the same room as me?” He softly asked. “After everything, I did to you.”

“That wasn’t you,” you simply said, sipping on your hot chocolate.

“I could have killed you,” he finally looked at you. Since last night, Bucky wouldn’t allow you to get this close to him. His eyes were bloodshot.

“No,” you firmly said. “The Winter Solider almost killed me. Bucky Barnes would never.” You held his stare, blue eyes locked onto yours until he looked away. “How much do you remember about our time together?” You asked. Bucky sighed.

“It comes and goes,” he said. “Like waves, crashing into me and I’m drowning.” You smiled, tracing the rim of your mug. The marshmallows were melted and stuck to your finger.

“Me too,” you admitted. “It wasn’t all bad.” You licked the marshmallow off your finger and put your hand in your pocket. “My brain clouded all the good with the bad. Do you want to hear one of the good ones?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “Please.” You smiled.

“I hadn’t seen you for a few days and I knew better than to ask about you because that resulted in a punishment,” he chuckled slightly. “One day I was brought into a room and you were there. I think they wanted you to train me and you did but I hurt my shoulder. I tried to hide my tears but you knelt at my level, whipped away my tears, and reached into your pocket,” you mimicked this part of your story and held out your hand. “And when you opened it, there was a little rubber duck.” You showed him the duck.

“What?” He questioned. “A rubber duck?” You smiled as the confusion was all over his face. “You’re making this up.”

“I’m not,” you laughed at the deadpanned look he was giving you. “I swear! Look I was equally confused when you handed it to me. It was a rubbed duck just like this one,” you placed it on the counter between you and him. When your laughter died down, your smile became sad. “When I destroyed the faculty, I tried to find it but it was destroyed in the fire.” Finally, he took a sip of his no longer hot chocolate and picked up the duck with his flesh hand.

“I need time to process the new memories,” you nodded.

“I got nothing but time,” you said. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” he smiled. “For the talk and the hot chocolate.”

“Of course,” you cleaned your mug. “Try to get some sleep. Good night.”

“Night, doll,” he said. But you knew sleep wasn’t going to be an option for you. Every time you closed your eyes, your past played out in front of you. It was like Yelena said, there was a scab over a wound you had and although it was healing every time you rubbed against it it hurt more. Your feet led you to the training area, and the sound of your footsteps echoed against the quiet room. It was weird being here when no one else was here. You could do anything without the watchful eyes of the Avengers. You could train, lift some weights, or go for a run. Instead, you walked over to the machine Tony and Bruce built you.

It was in the corner of the room, a white sheet over it that you took off and stared at the machine. Fingertips tracing every part of it. With a sigh, you took a few steps from it and faced the machine. You closed your eyes and let out a few deep breaths. When you open your eyes, you let out of stream of electricity towards the target. You only cut it off when the batteries were full but it wasn’t enough. So you replaced the full batteries with empty ones and did it again. And again. And again. Until your chest was heaving and your legs felt like jello. A yawn escaped your lips and you took it as your sign to be done. You recovered the machine and took a long walk back to your room.

As soon as your head hit the pillow, you fell into a dreamless sleep.

_

“Is the kid with you?” Rhodey immediately asked. 

“What?”

“Parker. Peter Parker, is he with you? Do you know where he is?” Rhodey asked in an impatient tone, Tony being able to imagine his best friend pacing back and forth. For a split second Tony was baffled as to why Rhodey would be asking about Peter- the two rarely interacted- had something happened to the kid? However, as he thought more about it, he realised what had happened, and he got a grin on his face. 

“He’s probably with Y/N.”  He answered, holding back his laughter as he heard his friend groan loudly. “I can picture it now- walking hand in hand, planning their future together, probably stealing kisses-” 

“Tony I swear to god!” Rhodey complained, and Tony couldn’t help his laughter. “It isn’t funny! I don’t know where Y/N is and if your kid is taking her for a swing 5,000 feet in the air and he could drop her, I’ll kill him!”

“Okay, I know you’re gonna hate what I’m gonna say- but you’re being over protective.” Tony told him, hearing an annoyed sigh over the phone. “I know Peter, and I know how much that kid loves Y/N. He has literally had a panic attack about hugging her too tight because of his spidey strength, there’s no way he’s gonna take her for a swing, and if it makes you feel any better…” Tony paused, checking his watch. “They should be on the train right now. They’re going to that Festival an hour away- do not ruin it for them, Rhodey, you know that if you rock up Y/N will get mad at you.” He warned. Tony understood Rhodey’s protectiveness over you- he was your godfather afterall, and he’d been there since you were born and helped his friend raise you. He understood why Rhodey was scared about his baby growing up and dating people- he knew that people could be cruel and that people could manipulate you- he’d been a victim of it himself, but he knew Peter, and he knew that while dating a superhero has it’s risks, he knew that Peter would rather die then put you in danger or hurt you. However, Rhodey didn’t know Peter like Tony, and he understood he apprehension on you two dating, leaving Tony to be the mediator to try and keep everyone happy.

“...Alright, alright… I’m just upset she didn’t tell me where she was going.” 

“I know, but you’ve got to think about why. She knows you’re looking for a reason to get between her and Peter, so she’s probably romanticising the idea of sneaking out to see him. Open up to her, and maybe actually get to know Peter? I’ll be there as well if you want, we’ll go and do something where there’s no tension, you can have a talk with Peter, and when Y/N sees you two not at each other’s throat, she’ll probably relax and tell you about what’s happening in the relationship and where she’s going with him.” Tony suggested. 

“Good point… there’s that convention for technology coming up next week that we’re booked to go to, how about we let them tag along… they can have their time alone while we do a panel and then I can probably have a moment with Peter… does that sound fair?”

“Yeah, more than fair. I’m sure Y/N will be thrilled to see you two finally getting along.” 

“Alright. One last thing Tony- how come you knew about them going to the festival?” Rhodey asked his friend. Tony realised his mistake- he hadn’t told Rhodey about it earlier and had kept it a secret until now, presumably being told about the date by either you or Peter beforehand. 

“Sorry- you’re breaking up, I didn’t catch that. “

“Tony don’t you dare-”

“It’s just static, I’ll call you ba-” He quickly ended the call, shoving his phone back into his pocket and going back into the meeting room. “Sorry about that- what have I missed?” 

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in! 

*Not my gif

No, no, no! Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shook your head back and forth until it cleared of the usual Stark razzle-dazzle. You refused to let anything here impress you. Tony thought modern architecture and flashy tech were enough to make up for the fact you never heard about your husband unless he’d been involved in an accident? Well, not anymore.

With one sharp exhale, you squared your shoulders and snapped your attention to the nearby doors. According to the map you’d printed off the internet, these led into the living quarters for the Avengers. You took one handle and yanked to no avail. Locked. Yes, you decided as you took a step back to look for any obtrusive security cameras, you were definitely in the right place.

“Tony!” You banged on the glass. “Tony, let me in!”

Peering inside revealed nothing but an empty room filled with exercise equipment. You knocked again.

“Tony, I did not fly all the way here from California for you to ignore me!”

“Mr. Stark is currently tied up in other matters. May I have your name, please?”

The cool, Irish-accented voice of a woman seemed to come from nowhere. You jumped about a foot away from the door. A minute or two of pulse-pounding shock later, you realized this must be yet another of Tony’s AIs. What had happened to JARVIS, you wondered. He never had to ask for your name.

“Your [Name], please,” the new AI insisted.

“[F Name] Rhodes,” you answered as you stepped back to the door.

“I have no such name on the approved visitor list for today. Please contact our publicity office to arrange for an appointment at a later date. Goodbye.”

“Hold it!”

No reply came forth. For all the good it would do, you smashed your fist against the door once more. Then you held your breath. Still nothing moved behind the glass. Had Tony’s artificial bouncer really just left you here alone?

“Ma'am, I’m afraid that if you do not vacate the facility premises in the next ten minutes, I will be forced to call in the authorities.”

Apparently not.

“Listen,” you said, still unsure of exactly where to look to get your point across. “You tell Tony that [F Name] Rhodes is here. If he still won’t let me in, I’ll gladly talk to whatever authorities you’re required to summon. If he wants the extra publicity, I don’t mind giving it to him.”

The woman didn’t answer. You wondered again what had become of JARVIS. JARVIS knew you. He would never have left you standing outside, listening for the sound of approaching sirens or Iron Man drones. Heck, he’d probably have opened the door without waiting to get permission from his precious boss.

Movement flashed somewhere in the back of the room a quarter of an inch away from you. A figure made its rapid way in your direction. Soon it was close enough for you to identify: Tony Stark had made an appearance at last. He looked uncharacteristically pale as he unlocked the door and pushed it open to allow you inside.

“Where’s Jim?” you asked after you dumped your purse on a nearby plastic chair—the only flat surface you could fine that wasn’t tile floor.

“Hello to you, too, [Name],” Tony said. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Don’t play dumb with me..”

“You’re a long way from California. It never occurred to you to call first?”

“The line was busy.” You folded your arms across your chest and asked again calmly, “Where’s Jim?”

Tony pushed his hair from his forehead with a sigh. You noticed he was having trouble meeting your eyes. “Resting.”

“Resting where?”

“Can we not do this right now? Let me show you to a room. We’ve got plenty available. When Rhodey’s ready, we’ll all have dinner together. I might even be able to dig Vision up from wherever he got to. We can talk then.”

As though Tony could weasel out of a conversation you wanted to have with him. You’d known him far too long for any of his usual stalling tactics to work.

“Tony, I’ll tell you this one time before I start pulling this place apart with my bare hands: Give me. My husband.”

Your eyes locked with his. A long pause ensued. You could practically see the gears (or suitably high-tech equivalent) turning inside Tony’s skull as he struggled to come with some comeback witty enough to distract you. Too late. Before he could utter another word, you turned on your heel to follow the dim hallway leading from the room.

“Wait!” he called after you.

You stopped and look at him over your shoulder.

“I…I can’t.”

“Why not?” You could barely keep the anger from your voice.

“Because he isn’t ready yet.”

“He isn’t ready for what?”

“Ready for you to see him!”

Gritting your teeth in a silent snarl, you marched right back up to Tony and jabbed a finger into his chest where his arc reactor used to sit. “You have no right to keep me from him.”

“I know.” He took the hand still prodding him, but instead of shoving it away, he wrapped his own hand around yours. “[Name], I promise, as soon as he’s okay, I’ll take you right to him.”

“‘Okay’? ’Okay’? Why is he not okay? Did something else happen to him?”

“No, not exactly.”

“What is he doing here anyway? He should be at the VA!”

“Trust me. This the best place for him. I’ve got one of the best neurosurgeons in the country on speed dial. Admittedly not the best, because he wouldn’t take my calls—but this one is excellent, too, and she’s keeping a good eye on him! I’m doing the best with what I’ve got, all right?”

He probably thought you’d drop the point of your husband being kept at Avengers HQ instead of a medical facility. After all, Tony was the man that built the greatest technical innovation the world had seen in decades while being kept prisoner in a cave with a box of scraps. But this wasn’t the fate of Tony’s reputation or his company at stake here. It was the man you loved’s life.

“Not good enough,” you said.

Tony pulled you back as you attempted a second break for the hall. “[Name], would you listen to me? Rhodey is as physically and emotionally fine as he can be. All I’m asking for is a little more time.”

Something about that request broke the dam inside you. Every horrible feeling you had experienced over the last few days crashed over you—the fear, the anger, the stress, the worry, all of it. Despite your best efforts to keep yourself upright and strong, tears filled your eyes. You ripped your arm free of Tony’s grip so that you could wipe your face dry with your sleeve and level a dry glare at him.

“I have given you time, Tony. It’s been days. I should have heard it from you, not from CNN.”

“I admit, when you put it that way, I could probably have handled the reveal a bit better.”

“How do you think I feel, knowing Jim is out there putting his life on the line for you, only to hear he’s been seriously injured while I’m listening to the news over dinner?”

“Things have just been a little hectic around here since Steve decided to play Dirty Harry, okay? I swear, I was going to call you just as soon as—”

“As soon as what? I am his wife, Tony! I deserve—”

“[Name]?”

Both you and Tony looked toward the hall to see a familiar man creeping up it, his hands pressed against the white wall to help him stand.

“Jim!” you gasped at the exact same time that Tony said, “Rhodey?”

For one shining moment, you remained so stunned to see your husband again that you failed to notice anything different about him. All you could do was stare at him in happy wonder—until he reached the end of the wall and nearly tumbled to the floor without further support. He would have fallen, had Tony not been quick enough to see what was happening and leap to fill the place the wall once had.

“Thanks,” Jim said.

“Don’t mention it. What are you doing out of bed?”

The two of them made their slow, staggering way across the room. You watched with one hand over your mouth. Could this really be the same man that had stood at the end of the aisle at your wedding? He looked the same and sounded the same, but, oh, Jim. Thankfully, you noticed where the men were headed before you gave yourself over to more tears. Your purse was unceremoniously dumped to the floor just as Jim collapsed into it. A few seconds went by as he caught his breath.

“I thought I heard the two of you arguing,” he answered Tony at last.

“We weren't—” But the cutting look you shot Tony prevented him finishing his protest.

“Sure,” Jim said, then he looked at you. “When did you get here?”

“About fifteen minutes ago,” you replied.

“Well, it’s good to see you. I was beginning to wonder when Tony would allow me to have visitors.”

“He didn’t.”

Jim frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m only here because I found out what happened on the news. Tony has nothing to do with it.”

“Oh. Oh. I’m sorry, [Name]. I should have called you. Between the media blitz and all the physical therapy, it never even crossed my mind.”

You put your hand gingerly on his shoulder and were relieved that he didn’t collapse under the added weight. “It’s okay, Jim. I don’t blame you for my finding out this way.”

“It isn’t Tony’s fault.”

You snorted, causing Jim’s faint eyebrows to lift.

“It’s not.”

“Jim.” Now your hand moved to cup his cheek. “This happened because you were cleaning up one of Tony’s messes again.”

Admittedly, you didn’t have all the details lined up just yet. One never could trust the news to tell the whole or entire truth about something, but this fiasco smelled strongly of one of Tony’s harebrained world-protection schemes. His role in keeping Jim away from for months at a time was a well-worn subject of argument between you and your husband; bringing it up now when Jim was so weak wasn’t exactly fair. But you couldn’t stand seeing him like this, and the knowledge that Tony had something to do with his injuries again only aggravated you further.

“I swear, you got hurt less often back when you only worked for the Air Force,” you said throatily.

Jim pressed one of his hands over the one you had on his face, then waited to speak until you could control yourself enough to look him in the eye:

“[Name], you know I make my own decisions.”

“And those decisions change if you think Tony’s going to get himself killed,” you grumbled.

“And you know I’m willing to call Tony out when I think he’s being an idiot.”

“Which doesn’t matter when he doesn’t listen.”

“And you knew that when you and I got married, Tony was part of that package deal.”

Another glare in Tony’s direction met with an odd expression on his part. Before it had felt like he couldn’t look straight at you. Now it felt like he’d forgotten you were even there, so focused was he on Jim. Could that be guilt you read on Tony’s face? Surely not. You turned back to your husband with a sharp breath.

“At the time, I didn’t realize the deal would involve so much of you two flying around in metal suits.”

Jim let out a soft, low chuckle. His eyelids slid shut. When he dropped his arm to his side, you reluctantly pulled your hand away from him. Tony knelt beside him to put his hand on the shoulder you had so recently held.

“You had a rough morning. You should be in bed,” he said.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Jim tried to wave him off, but Tony stayed put.

“I mean it. You want to backslide? All that progress we made this morning? Gone, because your stubborn ass has to come running whenever I get in a fight.”

“You’re not in any condition to go toe to toe with [Name] right now.”

“When am I ever?”

The two of them grinned at each other in that infuriating way that only a couple of guys making a private joke could. Seeing as you were the butt of that private joke, you did not crack a smile. You allowed them to continue smiling, though, until their little “bromance” moment stretched on a little too long. Both men started when you cleared throat. Maybe they had forgotten you were still standing there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“And what, exactly, about this morning was so rough?” you asked frostily.

The look Jim and Tony exchanged that time was different—more raised eyebrows and frowning—but equally infuriating.

“What aren’t you telling me?” This question you directed at your husband. “I came out all this way to find out what’s been going on, so one of you had better spit it out.”

“Or what?” asked Tony.

“Tony, I think she’s serious,” Jim said.

“So am I. Is not knowing really grounds for a divorce? I’m just weighing our options here.”

With an aggrieved sigh, Jim shoved Tony out of his immediate personal bubble. Tony must not have wanted to keep their shared secret too badly, because he did nothing to prevent Jim from taking a deep breath and saying:

“Tony’s got me doing some…experimental physical therapy.”

Well, that wasn’t a comforting explanation. “So you’re a physical therapist now?” you asked.

“Among other things,” Tony said.

“Look.”

You could not ignore Jim’s soft request. Instead of firing back at Tony as you so badly wanted to, you returned your attention to your husband. He tapped at a glowing blue circle about halfway down his thigh. From that light sprouted a complicated system of pulleys and joints and even more lights that sprawled across Jim’s legs and hips. So eager had you been to see him alive and moving that you hadn’t even noticed this addition to his body.

“Tony made these for me,” he said. “Without them, I wouldn’t be able to walk at all.”

Your mouth opened. Your mouth closed. Again. Again. Again. Still unable to think of any way to express your thoughts on the matter, you raised your head to look at Tony. You were surprised to find his brown eyes shining when they met your gaze.

“We’re still working out the kinks. Rhodey is—” Tony coughed a few times, then went on, “Rhodey is amazing. He’s doing great. Really great. I’m just trying to get the braces up to his speed.”

“We’re both getting there. Together.”

Tony shook his head, unwilling to accept Jim’s encouragement. His eyes and yours were trained on each other like magnets. “You weren’t supposed to show up until he was perfect. That’s why I didn’t call. I wanted to give him back to you good as new.”

“Tony…” Jim began, but once more Tony waved him off.

“I owe you both at least that much.”

Neither you nor Tony seemed able to figure out what to say to each other after that. At least you finally managed to break eye contact. He looked back at Jim, tried to smile, failed, and awkwardly stuck his hands in the front pockets of his pants. You turned your head to blink rapidly at the wall, cleared your throat again, and tried not to cry. After struggling to find words to say to Tony for another minute or so, you gave up and went back to Jim instead.

“You really think this is what you need? Not rehab at an actual hospital?” you asked.

He didn’t miss a beat. “I trust Tony. This is what I want to do.”

Normally, Tony would have taken this compliment and rubbed it in your face until it ground to dust. That day he didn’t react at all. Didn’t blink. Didn’t grin. Didn’t so much as offer a single quip. He seemed to be waiting for you to make the next move. His behavior threw you off, and the more you thought about it, the more you realized just how little Tony was acting like himself at all. The whole catastrophe with Steve—and Jim’s injury—must have really rattled him.

Then it hit you: Jim wasn’t just staying here for his own sake; he could never be that selfish. Tony needed Jim just then just as badly as Jim needed Tony. You couldn’t tear him away.

“Fine,” you said.

“Fine?” Tony echoed.

“What’s fine?” Jim asked.

“You can stay. I won’t drag you off to the nearest VA like I was planning to.”

“You won’t?” A hopeful note crept into Tony’s voice.

“Really?” said Jim.

“Really,” you answered.

They both cheered. If you’d given them the time, you suspected they might have actually embraced. You did not give them the time, however. Tony could change his mind just as quickly as you, so you needed to get things arranged as soon as possible. Neither he nor Jim noticed you taking a step away from them, but they couldn’t fail to hear you say:

“Just let me go get my bags out of the car.”

You made a beeline for the door you’d come through before either of them could register what you said. Such ringing silence could not last. No sooner had you placed your hand on the door handle than did Tony shake off the lingering shock.

“Wait. No one said anything about you staying,” he said as he came after you. “No, no. This is a secure facility! I’m sure we can find you a nice hotel nearby if you really feel you need to—”

“Tony,” said Jim.

“She’s not an Avenger!”

“Yeah, and neither are we much these days.”

Then Jim tried to get to his feet. It looked more to you like he was having a seizure. His feet scuffed against the floor while his fingers grasped the edge of the chair he sat on. Very slowly and very arduously, he finally managed to stand. You held everything you had inside you very, very still to prevent yourself from running over to him and helping him over to Tony’s side. He got there all on his own several agonizing minutes later. There he clapped Tony on the shoulder and shot him a tired smile.

“Besides, you knew when [Name] and I got married, she’d always be part of the package deal,” he said.

Tony’s lips pursed together at that. They squirmed for a long time. At last, without bothering to so much as look in your direction, he said, “Fine. She can stay.”

“Thanks, Tony.”

“But you have to say in the wing where we house the orphaned SHIELD agents!” Tony’s call followed you out of the compound and back onto the lot where your rental car sat waiting.

“Tony—” Jim began in a warning tone.

The door shutting behind you prevented you from hearing the quarrel that surely followed. Those two were always like that, especially when it came to you. As you hefted your two suitcases from the car’s trunk, though, you found you didn’t care. You didn’t care about having to listen to Jim and Tony argue until they were blue in the faces or drunk. You didn’t care about the fights you and Tony would get into when he inevitably got bored and started picking on you. You didn’t even care that it looked as though you and your husband would not be returning to your home in California soon or ever at all.

Mournful.

You’ve given up on trying to claw your way out of despair’s grave. The dirt beneath your nails in the collection of your own anguish.

What if she comes back for me?

What if they get hurt because of me?

What if I can’t save them?

I couldn’t help then.

And I can’t save myself now.

I wasn’t enough.

It’s never enough.

Each new thought is a shovel full of dirt being cast upon you by the reaper himself. Yet even as it becomes hard to breathe, you allow yourself to be buried alive.

It’s better this way.

Alone.

Not burdening others.

Fully buried with your grief, you find a perverted sense of solace.

It is a pain that is all too familiar and too welcomed by you.

Observant.

The party is in full swing by the time you exit the elevator. Upbeat music plays in the background, luring you from the confines of your mind. Taking the flute of champagne offered by a passing waiter, your eyes scan the room. Individuals glide about, wrapped in expensive suits and dresses. Heels and shined shoes click against the hardwood flooring. Heads tip back in laughter and conversations, in various languages, meld together into one solid stream of noise.

Steve, Sam, and Bucky stand with a group of military officers. Most are older gentlemen. They come from generations that know all too well that casualties of war are not always the ones left buried in foreign lands or returning home in pine boxes. They seem to be reminiscing, finding comfort in tales that most will never understand.

Your eyes trace their figures, calibrating their posture. Bucky stands rigid but still fidgets. The metal digits of his left-hand twitch, curling and uncurling as he listens. You’ve come to recognize that tick as it happens quite frequently. Although his tenure on the team has been much longer than yours, he still must find himself in uncomfortable situations. A frown hides behind the rim of your glass. You know all too well the feeling of being just at the edge of everything. It’s difficult not to sympathize with the man.

He’s suffering. Still suffering.

You move on, finding Tony and Bruce locked in a heated debate. There’s no telling what they’re discussing. Their mouths move too quickly and surely even if you could hear, you would still be lost. Big brains and big words. Too smart for their own good. Tony’s hands flail, gesturing the enormity of what he is saying. Overly excited that one always is and confident. That’s how you would describe him if anyone were to ask. The other scientist is more cautious, more calculated. Bruce’s shoulders deflate, sinking low as they usually do when certain situations frustrate him. With a shake of his head, he begins a rebuttal with fervor much akin to Tony’s.

The pair make a good team. Fearless curiosity and balanced restraint.

By the bar, Rhodey and Natasha enchant a group of people with a story. Instinctively, your fingers trace the medallion sitting in your pocket. The two are very much like the sun. Beaming, bright, and luring people to look upon them with awe. Even from across the room, the warmth of their combined presence is comforting. There's something else. While it may be easy to miss for most, you can still see the stormy darkness in Nat’s eyes. It’s a glimmer that makes her more human; a vulnerability that you feel connected to. The two of them are endearing and enduring. How you wish you could find those qualities in yourself.

Hesitant.

As the party dwindles and guests take their leave, the Avengers migrate towards couches. The laughter and stories continue, becoming more intimate and personal and once again, you feel as if you are encroaching.

“(Y/N)! Where are you going?” A voice calls out as you slink from your secluded corner towards the elevator, “C’mon. There’s enough room for one more.”

Clint. Though not one to make himself the center of attention, he stands out when needed. He is covert and deliberate in most things but there’s underlying humanity in his actions.

Even across the room, he has his hand out to you, again waiting for you to make the next move. The smile he wears is warm, quelling your nervous jitters. Following his initiative, the others call out to you, urging you to join. It’s a change, scary and new but an offer you take.

Witty.

“Hey. Excuse me,” Tony accusingly points a finger causing you to tense. “That’s not one of the options I sent up.”

“Oh. Well, while the dresses you chose were absolutely beautiful, they weren't necessarily functional.”

“(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N).” Each sigh of your name is laced with exasperation. “I'll let it slide that you lied when you told us you had nothing nice to wear. I knew you had to have something impressive in that wardrobe of yours.” His hand gestures to the stunning suit you wear. Head to toe, you project poised confidence but underneath it all, you are still a bundle of nerves. "And just for your information, fashion isn’t meant to be functional."

“Well, you never know when I might need to save your ass again, Tony.”

The laughter picks up again with hoots and hollers from the others. Tony stutters before lamenting that Ironman can get out of any situation only if his suit is working properly. The calls for more details come from those that had not been present. And most are on the edge of their seats as Natasha and a somewhat inebriated Tony begin to reenact the takedown scene. It’s only when she flings him over her shoulder and he lets out a high-pitched squeal that you join the others in raucous laughter.

...

Over the years, you and your desires have been described in many ways. You’ve taken on numerous faces throughout your life for a plethora of causes and yet there are only four words that have rung true through each of your lives. And now, there is one more. It’s the one you have decided upon for yourself. For the first time, you know it to be the most accurate.

Yearning...To stay. To belong. To call this home. To call them family.

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed. It really helps when you do. Feedback is always appreciated!

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A/N: I know. I know. This is a more introspective chapter. But I felt this was the right place to go before the next few. Parts 5 & 6 have more interactions and drama. They are fairly long so prepare yourselves. We needed a quiet one before I hit ya with the action. 

Parts 5 & 6 will be posted on Friday (4.23.21). They will go up at 6:30pm & 7:00pm. 

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T'Challa will become protective of you when someone is threatening you. No matter how much you protest, he will have special protection with you for possibly for about a week. He visits you more often, to check on your health and if you need anything. T'Challa will also have atleast Shuri to come see you if he's not there.

Erik is protective of you in general...There's not one time where he isn't sending threatening glares at people who eye you for too long or flirt with you. He always has either his arm around you or holding your hand when you two go in public.

Quill just gets protective when he feels left out. He won't hestitate to confront them and ask  questions that are irrelevant, thinking he's proving a point. He'll then tell you what he thinks that person is without any proof at all...making you facepalm.

Quentin is already possessive, so you're not really going to have anyone near you; he has no problem using his technology to scare off anyone who he thinks is going to take you away from him, especially since you're the only person who he can feel no stress around and one of the few people who warms his heart.