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Happiness is in the hands of Allah ﷻ alone. How can you still be searching for it far away from Him!
Allah ﷻ says:
وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَضحَكَ وَأَبكى
“And It is He (Allah) alone who (made mankind) laugh and cry”.
(Surat An-Najm:43).
The scholar Al-Sa'di, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"May Allah have mercy on a servant who takes advantage of the days of strength and youth and hastens to repentance and turning back (to Allah) before the book is closed."
Al-Fawaakih Al-Shahiyyah (217).
قال العلامة السعدي رحمه الله :
فرحم الله عبداً اغتنم أيام القوة والشباب وأسرع بالتوبة والإنابة قبل طي الكتاب.*
الفواكه الشهية (٢١٧).
May Allāh ﷻ increase you in goodness, fortitude and strength. May your recitation be made easy on your lips and tongue and your ‘ibādah a joy and not a burden. Ameen.

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I guess this is as good a time as any to bring this up.
On the topic of chosen names:
If you are someone who believes that the construction of one's identity - be it gender, sexuality, faith - is entirely dependent on the choices of the individual, then please also extend that to people who convert to other religions, especially to Islam or Judaism.
Let me draw up a parallelism. People assert that a trans person who changes their name should no longer be referred to by their old name. I ask you to extend the same courtesy to people who change their names after converting to other religions.
Call them by what they go by now, and not what they used to go by.
For instance, it's not Cat Stevens, it's Yusuf Islam. It's not Sinead O'Connor, it's Shuhada Sadaqat.
#Heart | Within the chest of man is a piece of flesh that can make you or break you. It can win or loss you, and it will be that which determines how your afterlife will end up.
This piece of flesh is something that most of us tend to neglect compared to our other body parts, and it is the heart. As was mentioned in a narration about our Beloved Prophet ﷺ.
While it is important to take care of the external by excersing and eating healthy, we should keep in mind what Hassan al Basri once said:
"Treat your hearts, for what Allah wants from people is the wellbeing of their hearts." [Jami' al-Ulum wa al-Hikam]
And the same goes for our worship. It is a very great matter that the believers should know the details of the outter limbs when it comes to wudu, salah, etc. But we should beware of making these things mere habitual acts and daily routines. Abu al-Darda' said the following:
"Seek Allah's protection from hypocritical reverence. When he was asked, "What is hypocritical reverence?" He said: It is for you to see a reverent body while the heart is not." [Shu'ab al-Iman]
It is also important to understand, that the external is a reflection of the internal. If in the heart there is hate, the body will reflect that hate through our actions. If there is love, it will reflect that love through our actions. The body follows eveything that the heart tells it to do. Abu Hurayrah said:
"The heart is the king and the limbs are its soldiers. So if the king is good, his soldiers will be good. And if he is evil, his soldiers will be evil." [Shu'ab al-Iman]
One should also note that the the external plays a role on the internal. So beware of what you gaze upon, and also on what you lend your ear to. For some of these things can lead the heart to have sinful desires and emotions.
The cure to the diseases and reformation of the body begins with this one piece of flesh. And our Beloved Messenger ﷺ told us the cure, as is reported in Sahih Muslim.
"Taqwa (mindfulness of God) is here" while pointing at his chest.
May Allah allow us to be of those who are mindful of Him so that our hearts are rectified and our actions are correct. Ameen!
- Abu Sumayyah Pérez