The Rude And Inaccurate Bullshit Of A Religious Nutter.
@retail-hell @retail-retales I don’t know if ya’ll have done anything on fellow coworkers, or on religious nutters that have crossed ya’ll’s paths... But I’ve got one for ya’ll!
As most of you know by now, I work at a grocery store in my town as a cart runner/grocery sacker. It’s not a big one, but it’s Christian and in a town where you almost can’t throw a rock without hitting a church....
One of my coworkers is a preacher’s wife by the name of Paula. And yes, she is the exact definition of a Bad Christian. She’s old, racist and homophobic... But that’s not all folks!
Screamed at me as if she’s my manager.
Preached at me when it came out that I’m not Christian.
Told me I’m evil when I said that I like snakes.
Nearly gotten me fired when I accidentally lost my cool ONCE.
Said that science has gone too far because of Wal-Mart getting more self check out registers.
Said that Pokemon is witchcraft.
Gotten on to me for cursing... I was using the word to emphasize my excitement for Pokemon Sword and Shield.
Asked me if I was pregnant (I was feeling like shit).
Told me that it would be the Anti-Christ when I jokingly answered her pregnancy question with “If I am, it’s either immaculate conception or demonic.” (I was bloating for my period btw.)
Demanded that I come to her register and sack for her customer even though I was with another customer that needed my service. (many times)
Talked down to me multiple times.
Body shamed me for having acne scars on my chest. I wear a black tank top underneath my uniform, and if you think I’m not taking that damned uniform shirt off when I clock out, you’re crazy. The acne scars are from period acne.
Slut shamed me for wearing black tank tops and spaghetti strap tops beneath my uniform shirts... Telling me that no one should walk out like that (like what? Showing my tiny amount of cleavage and my arms?).
Told me multiple times that I need to go back to church... Despite me telling her each and every time that “I left the Church because of a bad experience where my last church treated my mother and me like garbage.” and “If I fall back in line with the Church, so be it. Until then, I’m fine where I’m at.”
Shit on my love of Harry Potter, video games, and Superhero movies. I talk about that stuff because it’s all okay to talk about at work.
Told me that she took her kids out of public school and put them in private school because of the rise of Pokemon’s popularity.
Given me nasty looks when I commented on a very pretty girl. I was literally saying that she was a really cute girl.
Taken my worrying about my very sick mother and essentially told me that my mom is trying to take advantage of me and use me.
Told me to stop wearing jackets to work in mid summer and just let myself get tan... I was wearing light jackets to combat sunburn without having to wear as much sunscreen.... Until my boss told me that my white jacket was out of dress code.
Complained to me that the plan for my boyfriend and me to get an apartment together before marriage is wrong.
Made racist comments about a couple of our black customers.
Told me that she wouldn’t be surprised if one of our customers were to get raped... The customer was wearing a skin colored dress that was really short. She literally said that the customer was asking for it.
Treated one of our coworkers like crap... The coworker got into a whirlwind marriage then fell out of love with her husband.
Blamed another coworker for ruining the previously mentioned coworkers marriage....
Treated our old Store Trainer like shit because of her sexuality. She and her wife are super cute btw.
Told one of our stockers that she’s living her life wrong... The reason why Paula said she said this is because of the type of energy drink the stocker drinks.
Because apparently Monster Energy Drinks are Satanic...
Talked shit about that stocker to her fiance.
The stocker believes that Paula does this because she and her fiance are lesbians.
Essentially told me that everything I do in my life is sending me to Hell.
Because “THAL SHALT NOT LIKE ANYTHING FUN!”.
Told me that my hypoglycemia is nothing but the crash of an extended caffeine high.
Told me “You’re young. You can handle it.”
Many, many, more offensive things that I’m sure my coworkers could tell me...
Attempted to excuse all of this by telling her sob story about being brutally abused by her ex-husband and by being a “Good Christian”.
Things I’ve said and done after she’s gotten on my nerves that have pissed her off ROYALLY:
Prayed to literally any other god when I’m hopeful around her. (My favorites are Odin, Cthulhu and The Flying Spaghetti Monster)
Told her about my mother being abused and said that my mom doesn’t talk about it much... And when she does, she’s NOT USING IT AS A CRUTCH FOR BAD BEHAVIOR.
Gone to a manager about her behavior. (As of 07/18/19, I’ve done this twice.)
Sang the chorus to “That Brand New Baby Smell” from Good Omens loud enough for her to hear.
Brought in the Good Omens book and read a couple of pages from it as I was checking out my morning coffee from her register.
Talked about the Good Omens show A LOT.
Snapped and told her to “Go back to the Dark Ages.”
Told her various forms of “You’re not my boss.”
Said “That’s rich coming from you.” when she was preaching one day.
Told her that I don’t care what she thinks about me.
Sassily left the store, black shirt exposed, grin on my face, and looked at her as I left as if I was the hottest thing on the planet.
Said something snappy, called her “Sweetheart”, winked, and walked off.
Told her that I’ll see her in Hell.
Talked about my love of sinning.
A lot of people throughout my store, including a couple of managers have said that she is the textbook definition of a horrible Christian. I have compared how she treats me to a jockey riding a racehorse... And yet... There are 2 things she says she loves, other than Jesus... Scrubs and The Hunger Games... Don’t get me wrong, I like both of those, but damn.... A funny hospital show, and a dystopian fiction series that focuses on kids murdering each other...
