#retail hell

Yesterday he texted me with a question. He’d just picked up a Purple Rejuvenate from a customer of ours who bought in January of 2026. But the law label on the bed said 2023. That’s really unusual and at first I was like, “Weird, I don’t know.”

But then.

I started looking into this woman. Her entire account is red flags, just a field of crimson waving in the wind. He asked for details and I compiled a list of her purchase history for him. I told my buddy good luck dealing with her.

However it was too funny not to share so here follows

The Ballad of Cindy (real name redacted, obviously)

First Purchase: 11/19/25

Beautyrest Firm - $1300 (Starting off very normal, this is a popular bed albeit returned often because it’s pretty hard)

Second Purchase: 11/21/25

Returned with no fees for Stearns Estate Firm + $1500 (Hm. Swapped for an even harder bed. But this does still happen.)

First Note: 12/10/25

Added email, normal and boilerplate. (No one is worried yet.)

Third Purchase: 12/10/25

Return with fees for Lux Estate Extra Firm + $1500 (Red flags are popping up. We only allow one exchange. This is officially weird and concerning because that bed is The Floor levels of hard.)

Second Note: 12/16

“Mentioned attorney. Refer to legal team” (Oh, okay, this woman is fully crazy, we’re officially afraid when looking at this profile.)

First Case (HR escalation) 1/5/26

“Customer contacted on 1/5/26. After speaking to her, the primary concern she shared was the mattress is too firm. Based on her purchase history she has progressively purchased mattresses that have been considered firmer with each exchange. I recommended that she return to the store and explore the mattresses that are going to provide more pressure relief and softer feel. I waived her restocking fees for the next purchase. The store has been contacted and informed and she will visit the store over the next few days” - District Manager (Using some kind words but honestly this one is baffling. Can’t believe the District Manager didn’t put her foot down here)

Fourth Purchase: 1/7/26

No fees for Tempur Adapt Medium - $800 (Oh my god, who showed her this bed, it’s notorious for a long break in and this woman has been returning after two days.)

Third Note: 1/8

Overview of exchange and details what they swapped. (This one smells like fear)

Fourth Note: 1/17

“Cindy wanted to exchange over the phone again. I asked her to come in and work with me on the exchange so we could find her the right bed. After spending 2 hours here, she decided that she wanted to exchange for the Rejuvenate Premier. We did not have any left in stock and we got approval from DM to sell her a floor model. Cindy was advised that this would be final sale. She would be unable to do a return or exchange and that there would be no warranty unless she purchases extended warranty. She was also advised that the depth of this mattress was much more than she had previously had and that she would need deep pocket sheets and protector for this. All of these expectations were emphasized multiple times, both in person from myself and over the phone with DM. Cindy stated that she understands these terms and that she would be unable to return or exchange and there’s no warranty. This was also listed on her receipt.” (You can tell from the sheer repetition that we’re on our last legs here. No is hard sometimes.)

Fifth Purchase: 1/23/26

$100 off fees to swap for floor model Rejuvenate + $2400 (This bed is so out of left field it’s like they’re throwing spaghetti at a wall. It’s another one that requires a month of sleeping on it to acclimate, but they were adamant she was stuck with it afterward and she insisted.)

happy Black Friday Season

It takes less than I minute, I just filled it in myself. You won't need any personal information it's entirely anonymous.

I'd appreciate it if yall could reblog this! I don't have a large following and not enough people will see this otherwise. Thanks!

Edit: thank you everyone!! My friend now has over 200 responses that's amazing! Keep sharing and filling it, since he won't be presenting it for a little while still, but I just wanted to let yall know that we are both very grateful to you all!

Edit two: Holy shit. In a week we jumped from 200 to over 1000. That's wild. Thank you guys so much. The survey is still open, I'll disable reblogs when it closes. We're kind of curious to see if it hits 2k responses. When I offered to post here, I did not expect to get even a third of the responses we have, and my friend and I are doing the digital equivalent of staring at each other in disbelief and pointing. What the fuck. Y'all are amazing