#random encounter table

Rhonda Rotten - Despite the rough-sounding name, Rhonda Rotten is a bookish princess with pigtails and large glasses, armed with a yaoi-paddle macuahuitl. Any men traveling through Rhonda Rotten's fiefdom are legally required to "smooch it up crazy-style" with another guy before leaving. Various thumps and muffled voices can be heard from the basement of her throne room.

Mold-Mother - The Mold-Mother is an enigmatic woman dressed in mold-covered robes atop her throne of decomposing organic matter. Locals claim she can "commune with the spores" and even direct various plagues and illnesses upon her enemies. Anyone who spends an extended period of time in the Mold-Mother's throne room will suffer from confusion, weakness, and 2d6 poison damage. A successful investigation of the throne room will reveal a carbon monoxide leak.

The Anarqueen - in an attempt to square her ideological commitment to anarcho-communism with her desire to be a princess, The Anarqueen hosts a mock execution of herself every Saturday. While there is nothing explicitly sexual about the mock execution, it's very obviously a sex thing.

1. Beachside retirement community where the majority of the residents are kraken-worshipping cultists.

2. Little village surrounded by woods where folks hunt but they don’t eat. The thrill of the chase is all it takes to satisfy them—call it a power, or call it a curse.

3. Far northern outpost on the icy tundra. Sometimes it’s there, sometimes it’s not.

4. Ghost town built in the shadow of the Red Cathedral. It’s just a big rock formation, except when the desert sun hits it just right. The gothic arches and flying buttresses shimmer into existence, and the few remaining residents shuffle inside for a midday mass.

5. Old country hamlet where they’ve come to rely a little to heavily on the wishing well. It works, of course, but at a cost.

6. Former coal mining town where more houses than not are occupied by the ghosts of those who met their untimely end down in the mines.

7. The last little settlement on your way up to the peak of the tallest mountain in the region. Maybe it’s just that you’d have to be crazy to live all the way up here, but the locals have all kinds of stories about the unnatural creatures that lurk in the shadows. Bigfoot, werewolves, you name it.

Made this to fill time between story encounters and thought I’d share it <3

Duke Austin Throckmorton: landowner, warlord, and dedicated vassal of the Chili King, a neo-feudalist restaurant chain. If the party is polite to him, he will let them stay as guests. If the party is aggressive, he will threaten to bring out his 'steed' (a rusty but functional T-54 tank).

Rhonda Rotten: Fujoshi brigand. She and her handful of bisexual boyfriend minions have set up an unlicensed 'toll booth' somewhere along the Route 66 pilgrimage trail. Insists she's not a Harley Quinn knockoff but she kind of is. If the party has any men, she will let them pass if they make out yaoi style for her.

Liquor & Gusto: hulking Mad Max style wasteland goons driving a rust-bucket van covered in airbrushed wizard decals. They will only attack the party if they appear nonthreatening and/or are carrying valuables. Otherwise, they will attempt to sell your party some ditch weed and moonshine.

GLN Solar Farm # 187: A large and seemingly unoccupied solar farm owned and operated by the Global Logistics Network. Surveillance drones circle overhead. If the party lingers, they will be confronted by a patrol of SUM troops (short for Surplus Unmarried Men, they're the cheap off-brand global paramilitary force used when you want to guard something but you wouldn't be that sad if something happened to it).

The smugglers’ hideout - A cave that is used by a band of smugglers. Even if they don’t all live in this cave, they keep an active guard here. Treasure in this cave includes stashes of illegal and stolen goods. Dangers here include the scoundrels themselves, as well as traps they may have set to ward off intruders.

The dragon’s nest - A cave that is home to a dragon. Treasure includes the dragon’s hoard, which may just be a big pile of gold or may be in the form of gems, art, or some other valuable object. Dangers here include the monster itself, as well as weaker minions that are in its service.

The bright maze - This cave is so dense with crystals that the sunlight pouring through its many openings turns it a blindingly bright. Treasure in this cave includes precious gems and crystals that occur naturally in the cave. Dangers here include getting lost among the twists and turns of branching crystal pathways, as well as other natural cave hazards such as steep drops, cave-ins, and chambers where the air is too thin or poisoned to breathe.

The assassins’ den - A cave where a group of assassins meet to plan their next hit. Treasure includes coin that has been paid to the assassins for their work, and high quality weapons that they store here. Dangers here include being caught by the assassins now, or being found out by them and becoming their next targets.

The mage’s lair - A cave used by a master of the arcane arts as a secluded place to perform magical experiments. Treasure includes magical items and arcane knowledge (in the form of spellbooks or scrolls, or other tomes of research). Dangers here include the mage and their arcane experiments, as well as magical traps and beings they have summoned or animated to defend their lair.

1. Crumbling floor pit trap, deep enough to prevent climbing out. Once triggered, the pit slowly fills with water through large pipes near the bottom of the pit. Once the water level is above the pipes, sharks begin to swim out.

2. Floor plate that triggers three poisoned darts to shoot out toward the person who stepped on it, each from a different direction.

3. Pair of gargoyles that face one another across a wide hall. They gaze into one another’s eyes, and if that gaze is blocked or interrupted, lightning shoots out from both of their eyes.

4. Moss covered wall that swallows unsuspecting adventurers. The moss reaches out and envelops anyone who steps within five feet of it.

5. Locked stone door. Trying to pick the lock causes the door to burst into flame. The same happens to anyone trying to smash the door down.

11. Lair of an undersea dragon, a cave full of treasure and hot steam.

12. Kraken’s nest, built from shipwrecks and driftwood.

13. A wreck of an eerie, glowing ship that emits dangerous (magical?) radiation.

14. A dark sea floor vent that provides energy to large, eyeless creatures who have never felt the warmth of the sun.

15-16. A broad stretch of open ocean, home to a group of giant sharks.

21-22. An encampment of well armed merfolk who are wary of strangers.

23-24. The lair of a coven of sea dwelling witches, known to be dangerous but only if you cross them.

25-26. A deep ravine with treacherously fast currents.

31-36. A kelp forest, teeming with all kinds of sea life.

41-46. A brightly colored reef where many tiny fish and other creatures make their homes.

51-52. The underside of a pier, where merfolk occasionally meet with surface dwellers to make small trades.

53-54. A wide canyon with interesting rock formations and scenic views. An excitable merfolk park ranger runs a small visitor center near the edge, though visitors seem few and far between.

55-56. Stone ruins from an ancient city. The sea serpent that makes its home here is aloof, but not dangerous.

61-62. A kelp farm run by a family of friendly merfolk.

63. A bubble enclosing a tower, in which lives an eccentric but ultimately well-intentioned wizard.

64. A small city on the sea floor, populated mostly by sentient sea turtles.

65. A huge sunken chest, the size of a house. It’s full of oversized treasure that clearly once belonged to a Giant.