Aug 11
What if I offered services as a dm? Like per session fee. Would anyone be interested in that?
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What if I offered services as a dm? Like per session fee. Would anyone be interested in that?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sean: I open the final door.
Scott: NO! You don't.
Sean: confused Yes I do.
Scott: Sean, we have been over this. You can't just indiscriminately open doors down here.
Sean: But that's why we're here!
Scott: Sean, I mean it. Wait for the rest of us.
Sean: tortured But...
The Narrator: What are you going to do, Sean?
Sean: I go up to the door... and put my ear against it.
Scott: Sean!
Sean: What? I'm just listening.
The Narrator: You hear the sound of many feet dragging on wet stone. The clink of metal. The groans of half-decayed mouths.
Sean: smiling enthusiastically Zombie horde?
The Narrator: Very likely.
Scott: Seriously, Sean. Do not open that door. We lost a lot of health in that last fight and we need a rest so I can get my spells back. Saul is actively bleeding out and we don't have any more health potions. PLEASE — for the love of all that is fun in this world — do not open that door.
The Narrator: Sean. What are you going to do?
Sean: long pause I open the door!
The Narrator: An arrow flies out and buries itself in Saul's neck. He collapses.
Sean: Ooh, sorry bud. You OK?
The Narrator: He is not.
my players laughed for six minutes tonight about a joke that was, structurally, just the word "bucket."
i have analyzed it from every angle. i understand the setup. i understand the timing. i do not understand the bucket.
i hope someday i understand the bucket, and why they laughed when one of them kicked it
Searching for art for NPCs be like: AI slop, AI slop, AI slop, pretty but not what I need, AI slop, AI slop, AI slop, pretty but not what I need, AI slop, WHY THE HECK ARE YOU PUSHING HARRY POTTER FANART ON ME, AI slop, Harry Potter fanart but also AI slop, Ooooh Witch Hat Atelier fanart nice but I need to focus on the session please, more AI slop, pretty but not what I need, Pathfinder official art is ok but not enough, please no more AI slop, still not what I need... Still have few hours to find portrait for a necromancer that will make one of my players to attempt rolling for seduction :D
As a DM, my most well-received NPCs are as follows:
David, who killed his family to find out whether he was his cult's chosen one, just to discover that he wasn't. While trying to give everything to the cult that he can, he went on a mission that got his tongue cut out (but that got remedied), and attempted to sacrifice a virgin, because after everything he did and everything he lost he can't afford to not give all he is to the cult. He discovers at the end that the fact that his dad died was what stopped him from being the chosen one. He doomed and betrayed himself and his family for nothing and he doesn't know how to fix it. With help, he decides that he must grow and change and reinvent himself to become a better man, though he can never go back and change what he did.
Rocky the Earth Genasi
Shit Loser
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NPCs Need Lives Too
In which Gene talks about the importance of thinking of every NPC as a a person with goals--even if it's just to get some coffee. In other words, another way to make your fictional world seem real. https://youtu.be/vTQQvti0vfw
life hack: rename the characters in your dnd campaigns to make the players laugh. "you've been hired by the mayor of Bonehaven, Markeplier--"
works every time