#q*bert

Name: Jumpy

Debut: Croc: Legend of the Gobbos

I love this image a lot. Please look at it again.

This is the silliest animal in the world! They don't make animals like this, with silly tube mouths, in the real world. We do get silly tube mouths, like on conch snails and anteaters, but it's the diameter of the opening that makes one such a Video Game Creature Mouth. The kind of mouth that a critter Shoots things out of! In this case, dear Jumpy shoots little fireballs. In the animal kingdom, as far as I know, only Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are able to shoot fireballs, but domesticated animals are outliers, and do not count.

Though it does not come out of a funny tube snouth, there are a bunch animals that DO shoot out some Projectile Attacks! Of various elements, no less! You probably know the Bombardier Beetle with its caustic acid, and the thorny devil's tear streams of blood. Perhaps you even know of the velvet worm's twin slime cannons. Two of my favorites are bugs, of course! The spitting spider is not very fast or strong, but it CAN shoot out silk from its chelicerae! It can use this ability to trap its prey, and even slow down predators! I also want to give a special shout-out to my favorite wasp, the bald-faced hornet! This yellowjacket (yeah it's a yellowjacket despite its name. It's also not even yellow) can sting, yes, but it also has a special adaptation for dealing with mammals: a projectile squirt of venom, usually aimed at the eyes! This is not to make you scared of bald-faced hornets. It is to make you realize they are so cool and awesome!

You have absolutely noticed that Jumpy looks quite a lot like Q*Bert, the world's favorite digital orange critter with a tubey mouth who jumps around. Can you blame it? I would look like this if I could, too. Except I would wear shoes. Perhaps... yellow shoes...?

Perhaps you have also noticed that Jumpy looks a lot like Hot Head from Kirby's Adventure, famous digital orange critter with a tubey mouth that spits fire! This one also shares the yellow feet... something interesting is a-foot!

Three orange critters, all with a tubey mouth for shooting stuff out of (Q*Bert was originally going to be able to shoot projectiles). The implication is obvious. We're all thinking it. It's clear that, long ago, humans existed alongside orange tubey-mouthed creatures that spat out fireballs. Our ancient ancestors were routinely burnt, singed, and other synonyms by these cheeky animals. Heck, they may have even had their geese cooked!

While all extinct now, these critters were so dangerous that the fear of them is baked into our DNA to this day. Game designers feel a primal urge to depict them as Enemies. Or, in the case of Q*Bert, as a nice enough guy who is nevertheless prone to foul language. The specter of the little orange menace lives on eternally...