ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS PT.2: THE FAWN TRAUMA RESPONSE
Rebecca Mandeville - Recognizing the C-PTSD-Based Fawn Response // Faenkova Elena - shutterstock.com // Mitski - First Love / Late Spring // Olga Kalinichenko - dreamstime.com // @void-galaxy-shenanigans // Pete Walker - The 4Fs: A Trauma Typology in Complex PTSD // Stanislav Bogdanov // @jinxwrites - Fawn Response // Lil Nas X - LIFE AFTER SALEM // Alyssa Kiefer - PsychCentral
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Democrats are psyching themselves out this election season, and psychological research dating back nearly 30 years helps to explain why. Right now, the behaviors and thought processes of Democrats are
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Every once in a while, the popular culture calls BS on a phenomenon in a refreshing backlash. I’ve been hearing “toxic positivity” mentioned a lot lately, and I love it! I remember the positive-thinking bandwagon as a product of the 1970s—possibly...
Every once in a while, the popular culture calls BS on a phenomenon in a refreshing backlash. I’ve been hearing “toxic positivity” mentioned a lot lately, and I love it!
I remember the positive-thinking bandwagon as a product of the 1970s—possibly as an offshoot of the hippie movement, but it’s probably always been around. I just got old enough to observe it during that time. It really took off during the early days of the internet, when The Celestine Prophecy was a bestseller and the self-help book section at Border’s expanded into the surrounding aisles.
The Internet is fertile ground for vacuous new-age memes declaring that it’s all about attitude. Now, I don’t dispute that attitude matters, and can make the difference between success and failure, but to think that we can all control our destinies with positivity is just magical thinking. Worse, it leads to victim-blaming. If you die of cancer, it’s because you didn’t visualize hard enough to make your good cells kill your bad cells. If your business fails in a tough market, it’s because you didn’t attract prosperity and manifest your own success.
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Positivity becomes toxic when it fails to process the legitimate underlying emotions judged to be “negative.” Negative feelings are ignored and repressed. Emotions are complex, though, and using mindless positivity to shove “negative” feelings aside will lock you into a zero growth pattern. Grief is real, regret is real, even shame. Those emotions are our teachers, and mindlessly positive people are cutting class.
People with invisible disabilities are a favored target of toxic positivity. We look fine, why all the stinkin’ thinkin’? Turn that frown upside down and get back in the game. Are you cringing yet? We’ve all had our feelings diminished and even been shamed for them. There is a balance to be struck between suffering and joie de vivre, and we’re not always perfect at putting on a happy face. That’s okay. We’re learning and growing. Pollyanna Patty or Peter, not so much. Do you have an example of toxic positivity to share?
A new research study suggests men are almost as likely as women to want children, and they feel more isolated, depressed, angry and sad than women if they don't have them. This finding, presented at the British Sociological Association annual conference, challenges many preconceived notions regarding marriage, parenting and family life. Investigators discovered that cultural and family expectations were among the main influences on men's wish to have children. The suggestion that men are more distraught when a couple cannot have children is significant. For the study, Robin Hadley of Keele University surveyed 27 men and 81 women who were not parents. He asked them if they wanted to have children and why. Hadley found that 59 percent of men and 63 percent of women said they wanted children. Of the men who wanted children: 50 percent had experienced isolation because they did not have any children, compared with 27 percent women; 38 percent had experienced depression because they did
A new research study suggests men are almost as likely as women to want children, and they feel more isolated, depressed, angry and sad than women if they don’t have them.
This finding, presented at the British Sociological Association annual conference, challenges many preconceived notions regarding marriage, parenting and family life.