#processingemotions

My opinions and thoughts have always been my own. I used to share them freely — now, they usually come with a cost. People look at me differently afterward. They coddle or pity me; sometimes both. I want to tell you everything that’s on my mind, but when I try, my chest tightens — like it’s warning me that if I speak, I won’t survive the cost of it. I miss home. Not necessarily the people, but the feeling of it. I don’t really know how to explain that — it just makes sense to me. Lately, I seem to be the only one I make sense to. I try to keep out of the way — at work, in shops, on the road, even at home. I hate that I’m always waiting for something to go wrong — for the shoe to drop, for the floor to disappear. I feel like I’m waiting for a reason to run back home with my tail between my legs — but that would hurt more than anything. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could express it in a way that wouldn’t make you look at me differently.

This is a collection of fragments — entries written over time when I struggled to put my own feelings into words. Some are raw, some half-formed, some I didn’t even understand why I wrote them. Here, I’m trying to map the space between thought and emotion, language and what lies beneath it. These posts are my attempt to speak what I can’t fully name.

“I want my children to grow up with the knowledge that having big emotions and then also having the strength to process those emotions, is not weak…. I would say it is quite the opposite. If we reframe how we see emotions, we can alleviate a lot of that guilt that weighs us down and makes it harder to move forward in our emotional processing and healing.” J. Milburn How do we teach our children about emotional intelligence? We become comfortable with and in-tune with our own emotions. If you find your inner voice being critical and invalidating, saying things like “I need to relax” “I need to stop doing this” “I need to get it together.” “I need to control my emotions.” You are trying to stifle your emotions! This is the quintessential “holding a beach ball under water” metaphor. The beach ball will keep trying to surface. If you push your emotions down instead of reflecting on them and processing them (not over-analyzing or blaming yourself for them) you will forever be dealing with that emotion. It will not go away, you will eventually get tired and it will surface and you will react 10 times as strongly because you are exhausted and worked so hard to keep the beach ball submerged and you failed. That’s how we feel when we try to suppress emotions, it just gets harder and harder. It doesn’t go away until it surfaces. Do you think you may be suppressing your emotions? Do you have a plan for when big emotions come up and you need to process them? Survival Mode Plans are made for those moments when the parents emotional needs have to become a priority, in order to avoid the parent not being able to manage their emotions effectively. It happens to everyone but we need a plan to minimize the negative impacts and model healthy processing skills. See the link in my bio to download @responsive_parenting J. Milburn @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #emotionalintelligence #selfregulation #processingemotions #parentmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #parentingsupport #motherhood #parenthood #childhood #attachmenttheory #allthefeelsareok #childdevelopment #momlife #gentleparenting #earlychildhood #empathy #parentlife #connection #dadlife https://www.instagram.com/p/CZK4coPrdoQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

“I want my children to grow up with the knowledge that having big emotions and then also having the strength to process those emotions, is not weak…. I would say it is quite the opposite. If we reframe how we see emotions, we can alleviate a lot of that guilt that weighs us down and makes it harder to move forward in our emotional processing and healing.” J. Milburn How do we teach our children about emotional intelligence? We become comfortable with and in-tune with our own emotions. If you find your inner voice being critical and invalidating, saying things like “I need to relax” “I need to stop doing this” “I need to get it together.” “I need to control my emotions.” You are trying to stifle your emotions! This is the quintessential “holding a beach ball under water” metaphor. The beach ball will keep trying to surface. If you push your emotions down instead of reflecting on them and processing them (not over-analyzing or blaming yourself for them) you will forever be dealing with that emotion. It will not go away, you will eventually get tired and it will surface and you will react 10 times as strongly because you are exhausted and worked so hard to keep the beach ball submerged and you failed. That’s how we feel when we try to suppress emotions, it just gets harder and harder. It doesn’t go away until it surfaces. Do you think you may be suppressing your emotions? Do you have a plan for when big emotions come up and you need to process them? Survival Mode Plans are made for those moments when the parents emotional needs have to become a priority, in order to avoid the parent not being able to manage their emotions effectively. It happens to everyone but we need a plan to minimize the negative impacts and model healthy processing skills. See the link in my bio to download. J. Milburn @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #emotionalintelligence #selfregulation #processingemotions #parentmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #parentingsupport #parenthood #motherhood #parentlife #dadlife #mumlife #fatherhood #momlife #consciousness #healinggenerationalwounds #healingtheinnerchild #ppa https://www.instagram.com/p/CXEEvgWLSJ2/?utm_medium=tumblr

IF YOU HAVE A BODY, YOU CAN DO THIS! Feeling anxious? Stressed? Panicky? Alone, angry, bitter? Turn off your phone, tv, computer. Sit in silence, alone. For just 10 minutes. One deep breath in...and out... Feel what you're feeling. Give those emotions a name. "Right now I feel .... and ...." Imagine each feeling has a home somewhere in your body? Where does it live? Pay attention to it, just notice. Is it big, small? Hot, cold? Does it have a texture, a color? And while you pay attention, notice how it quickly changes... With each breath that you take in, bring your validation to that emotion. With each outbreath, release it. Keep breathing. Cry if you want to. Sigh. Yell. Stomp your feet. Shake. But breathe. And notice how easily you release this emotion from your body by allowing it to be. Emotional healing sessions are now available remotely and virtually. Send me a DM to find out more. #emotionalhealth #processingemotions #breathwork #anxiety #trauma #wellness #intuitive #spiritualhealing #metaphysicalanatomy #imgonnablowup #ihatemylife #feelingstuck #whendoesitend #emotionalrollercoaster (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/B99gFvtn3uN/?igshid=1b6kmvngyqpbe

from @garbanzofrijole - My first recollections of rage are derivative of power imbalances between parents and children. So often my rage was and still is invalidated. Phrases like "How could you possibly be mad when you are a child and have nothing to worry about?" made me internalize my rage, which then carried over into every other relationship I entered, including ones with myself. I would tell myself I wasn't deserving of feeling anger, of expressing anger, and being honest about my anger... I had to hide my anger to bring other people peace. I want you to know that you are aloud to be angry. Let your words be heavy and sopping with anger, but do not let anger overbear you. Learn to use anger as a super power. Here is my anger and here is what I can do with it. Here is my anger, period. Here is me in my truth. Here. @recentralize thank you @noodelhead . Please feel free to repost. - #FemaleFlow #realtalk #processingemotions #rage #anger #selfexploration #mentalhealth https://www.instagram.com/p/BoNqIuGlstt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=n9z75zwi5t9q