#attachmenttheory

📚 Read the full article on: 👉 https://behaviorfacts.com/the-first-connection-how-early-love-builds-a-lifetime-pattern/

If I don’t want my child to speak to me in a certain way (tone, language, attitude) then I need to be mindful not to talk to them in that way.⁣ ⁣ Nothing more humbling then when your child says something horribly rude to you and you recognize your own voice in there 🤦‍♀️ Easy to go down a shame spiral… Take a deep breath. We can reflect on this. For one thing, it happens to most parents. We’re not perfect and in our moments of passion and reactivity we can act in ways that are not in line with our parenting intentions and are also super memorable for our children. ⁣ ⁣ 5 things to keep in mind:⁣ 1. If you manage to refrain from using whatever phrase or gesture, for a while, your child will likely stop using it too.⁣ 2. Your child saying or doing this “rude” thing is not something to worry about long term. I know an f-bomb dropped at the park can be mortifying but think of how you would take it as another parent. I personally would be trying not laugh and would likely laugh about it later, so no judgement from the parents you should actually want to be friends with and nevermind the others. ⁣ 3. Your child using the phrase or gesture is a way of them processing the experience. It’s actually healthy, from a psychological perspective because they are working through it, experimenting with what type of response they will get; “how does this work for me?” ⁣ 4. They also love and admire you so if you did it, it must be ok to do, right? You can try to explain this but it can often get confusing for kids, we get lost in trying to explain ourselves in an adult way lol⁣ 5. Try not to react or just react to the emotions and not the “rude” behaviour “wow, you sound frustrated!” ⁣ @responsive_parenting⁣ ⁣ Learn more about this in my latest E 📖 Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation Link in bio @responsive_parenting or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com #ResponsiveParenting #JMilburn #ParentMentalHealth #MaternalMentalHealth #PostPartum #MensMentalHealth #ParentingLife #HealingJourney #GentleParenting #AttachmentParenting #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #Parenthood #SelfHealing #SelfCompassion #EarlyChildhood https://www.instagram.com/p/CePr3fioeNj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Dr. Sue Johnson in Hold Me Tight (84)

A really good explanation of #attachmenttheory #avoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #disorganisedattachment #secureattachment #parenting #mentalhealth #relationships #relationship #counselling #counseling #counsellor #counselor #gedling #gedlingcounsellor #mapperley #mapperleycounselling #carlton #carltoncounselling #netherfield #netherfieldcounsellor #nottingham #nottinghamcounselling #ng4 #ng4counselling #elainebondcounselling (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPSmCYSFV9l/?utm_medium=tumblr

#attachmenttheory #secureattachment #coping https://www.instagram.com/p/CPRkWQvjQfT/?utm_medium=tumblr

I teach people not how to FIND love, but how to BECOME love.. and this is my greatest treasure 🙏🏽💕👣🦋 It is all about discernment. First you must be honest with yourself about what your shadow self constitutes of. This is how you avoid finding yourself in continuous, perpetual karmic cycles, and unions that trigger your childhood and subconscious wounding, with little to no intention of resolving them - lest you become aware that resolution exists within you. The shadow self is very attractive, because it wants to figure itself out..It recognises itself. Bonnie and Clyde were fated to meet.. Amy Winehouse, and Blake, Bobby and Whitney, the list COULD go on.. We are either attracted by our light, or our darkness.. But this is all dependent upon which part of us echoes the loudest.. Whilst our shadow is the dominant side, we will have many shadow ships. When we are unaware that it is our shadow self that steers most of our self defeating, and unconscious behaviours, then we are aware of the type of energy we are commanding, and attracting. Destabilising entities, and 'chaos demons', (spirits that prefer to attach to already decaying souls), are both drawn and driven by the existence of an opening. The soul must already be in some ways bruised, or believe that they are somehow deserving of torment, for full energetic possession to occur... Twitter – @spiritualpoet_ Instagram – @spiritualpoetess_ Tumblr – http://www.spiritualpoet.tumblr.com E – [email protected] Facebook - Facebook.com/twinflameandshamanchronicles #karma #shadowself #healing #healer #relationships #karmicattachment #karmicdebt #attachmenttheory #soulties #twinsouls #soulmates #soulmirror #spiritual #empath #esoteric #paranormal #energy #mystic #poetry #poet #writer #writing

“One of the more challenging, but necessary shifts in perspective, when adopting a responsive approach to parenting, is no longer believing that affection and compassion is a reward. That is conditional love. You are sending the message that “even though I know you are having a hard time I will not show you love because I am mad.” Chances are your child is mad too and you are asking them to calm down and show compassion and remorse, prior to you doing the same thing. As a parent we should model these behaviours, instead of expecting our children to demonstrate them for us before we are even able to achieve them ourselves.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #motherhood #parenthood #momblogger #mombloggers #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #parenting #childhood #momlife #mindfulparenting #jmilburn #perspectivechange #affectionisnotareward #unconditionallove #unconditionallove❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CRj1mX5ngW1/?utm_medium=tumblr

Co-regulation and suppression When your child is feeling dysregulated, it can be difficult to figure out how to support them without minimizing, suppressing or overreacting. Being a calm presence means even when you aren’t sure when the upset will end and how, you stay calm and have faith in the process.    A phrase you may want to use could be…. “Do you want some help to calm down or do you just need to cry/scream for a bit?”   At this moment, you are demonstrating…  • Unconditional acceptance. • All emotions are ok. • I am not overwhelmed by your emotions, even if you are. • It’s ok to take your time to process your emotions. • It’s ok to accept help. • It’s ok to feel better again. • You don’t have to feel any shame or guilt for having big feelings. • Your emotions are yours to respond to, not your parents.  Read more about co-regulation and suppression in my latest e-book 👇 
Finding Your Calm: Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation This 186 page e-book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, insights and also… links to additional research, articles and videos that can help support your healing and learning journey. Link in bio @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #parentmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealthawareness #postpartummentalhealth #momrage #dadmentalhealth #parentingsupport #selfcareformoms #selfcarefordads #healingjourney #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #parenthood #selflove #selfcompassion #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #ptsd #childhood #hypoarousal #hyperarousal #windowoftolerance #coregulation #selfregulation #holdingspace https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbm5JOxLKUV/?utm_medium=tumblr