#jmilburn

I wrote this many years ago and thought the detailed explanation may be helpful. I also find that this method is not very necessary in our home anymore so it should be used only when you are unable to guide them in other ways. How do YOU feel about this approach? That is the most important question❤️ Want to learn more about how to negotiate life with toddlers? Get the Toddler Workshop Series to learn everything about toddlers. And how to practice Responsive Parenting through all the changes and challenges of toddlerhood, such as tantrums, autonomy, egocentric view point, sleeping, toileting, weaning, “YES” spaces and managing our own emotional triggers: https://responsive-parenting.myshopify.com/a/bundles/surviving-toddlerhood-discount-1v6u Link in bio @responsive_parenting or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com #ResponsiveParenting #JMilburn #ParentMentalHealth #MaternalMentalHealth #PostPartum #MensMentalHealth #ParentingLife #HealingJourney #GentleParenting #AttachmentParenting #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #Parenthood #SelfHealing #SelfCompassion #EarlyChildhood #ChildDevelopment #ChildhoodMemories #Triggers #HoldingSpace #SelfRegulation #Empathy #UnconditionalLove #Parent #KidLife #AlwaysLearning https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg22n7RLliv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

“So you just let kids do whatever they want? Isn’t that permissive parenting?” One of the most asked questions…. We respond to behaviours that need to be corrected for safety or respect of others, while being mindful not to try and correct behaviours that don’t need correcting. At the same time, “correcting” a behaviour is never done through punishment, shame or manipulation. The “correction” is done through love and empathy. A lot of people feel like if you don’t punish children to correct behaviours, they’ll just keep doing them but this assumption is not true for a child with secure attachment. They feel like their parent is helping them to stay safe and healthy. When we “correct” behaviour with love, and not unnecessarily, children see us as someone who supports their needs. They often don’t realize this until middle childhood, since toddlers think everyone sees the world as they do. I will tell you as the parent of an 8 yo who has never really been punished for their behaviour, that it really does build a foundation of trust. My first, our 8 yo, is extremely trustworthy and honest. We have not been the perfect parents with our first. Parenting was a challenge, for me especially. My child has been yelled at and made to feel shame about things. I regret that I let my triggers hurt them. But overall, I have been a safe place for them. I tell you this part to let you know, it’s not about perfection, it’s about connection. Coercive Parenting vs. Responsive Parenting CP uses fear as a motivator. RP uses connection and empathy as a motivator. Get the Toddler Workshop Series to start this process early… usually the first time we are tempted to use coercion. Link in bio @responsive_parenting #ResponsiveParenting #JMilburn #Toddlers #PeacefulParenting #HoldingSpace #EmpathyMatters #BreakingGenerationalCurses #BreakingToxicCycles #ToddlerLife #ToddlerWorkshop #ChildLedLearning #ChildLed #Parenthood #Compassion #Motherhood #Parents #ParentLife #DadLife #Children #MumLife #Kid #Fatherhood #BeTheChange #Kindness #KidLife #Childhood #Kids #RealTalk #Childrens https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg1gmjQALKt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

“It’s not ok to yell at people. That goes for my 4 year old too.” This is where things get complicated. So yeah, not ok to yell at people. Do we want our kids to learn this? Yes. Do most have full control of their voice volume by 4? No, so we need to look at it from a developmentally appropriate perspective. So we do is teach children to speak kindly to others, but we do this by modelling it. If this concept is hard to understand, you may be struggling to see how a lesson can be learned without punishment. And that is the childhood conditioning that you need to overcome. What happens to you when you raise your voice? Are you punished? My guess is, you may punish yourself. You can learn a lesson through love, it just feels foreign and scary when we have not experienced it, ourselves. I teach parents this whole process in my latest e-book, Finding Your Calm. I also teach you how to share the lessons you have learned with your child. Link in bio @responsive_parenting or responsiveparentinginspirations.com #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #parentmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealthawareness #postpartummentalhealth #momrage #dadmentalhealth #parentingsupport #selfcareformoms #selfcarefordads #healingjourney #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory #parenthood #selflove #selfcompassion #earlychildhood #childdevelopment #ptsd #childhood #hypoarousal #hyperarousal #windowoftolerance #coregulation #selfregulation #holdingspace https://www.instagram.com/p/CghV2Dfr8mm/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=