#plural?

i switch between em but it's always "me" which is why plurality as a framework is not 100% a good fit for me. i aint got memory loss so its definitely not DID and they aren't 100% separated out people or anything either. we're like a survival mechanism that manifests as needed so i dont have different parts with solid roles its more like i can switch between the modes under duress.

so sure in some ways other people will "front" in that whoever I am at the time is like "I can't fuckin handle this can one of you please get up here" and thats like almost verbatim some shit i'd say. but it isnt like I disappear. its always me. what happens feels more like an intentional and noticeable shifting of perspective and priorities. If I need to keep working even tho I dont wanna that'd be worker. I craft sets of priorities/rules/things to remember and call them up as need be.

if you asked who was fronting right now I'd say "uhhh idk it's always me" like we all have the same memories and desires and stuff. but at the same time if I'm having a difficult conversation i might blur my eyes and suddenly become a less emotive more closed off "one" who can't move our body much. (i've been calling this corpse mode and going to corpse town lately) and in more severe situations almost none of us are the helm (what i call a shut down) or are like actively kept away so we cant speak or move at all.

and sometimes im like. well thats not plurality im just traumatized and blah blah blah whatever. call it fragmentation call it wearing different masks. doesnt change the fact that i need to shift into different modes to get shit done, and that some modes are incompatible with certain tasks.

Broski just ignores me.