shout out to the systems/plurals/etc. who would not be alive without it. yes this can be painful and it oftentimes is but itās also important to note that just as often, if not more for some of us, it can be a wonderful - or even life saving - experience.
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Something I wish I'd realized sooner. Something I wish others realized.
someone in the comments of one of my posts said it clearly. labeled my feelings in a way I hadn't been able to formulate until now.
My goal is unity.
I want people and creatures and humans all over the world to work towards being happy and healthy together. Its okay to be separate, to recognize that everyone has different experiences, and that we don't have to lump everyone in together (in fact I think that would be harmful) but there is no reason to exclude, belittle, or devalue someone's experiences just because they're different than yours, or because you don't understand how their existence is possible.
it happens all the time, everywhere, and I'm guilty of it too. we want to make sense of the world around us. its natural for you to shrug off or push aside someone else if what they're saying doesn't make sense to you. and often times it doesn't matter how much proof they show, or how many times they explain their view. it has to make sense to you.
not only does the reality of it have to fit well in your head, but you also have to be willing to accept the possibility of it. will accepting these people make you look bad? will people who don't like you hate you even more? will it be harder to explain yourself because now you're associated with others that are even harder to understand?
We have to move past those feelings. the feelings of disgust, confusion, anger, and fear.
"that person is weird, they're not like me." "I don't understand how that person could be anything like me." "how dare someone different than me claim to be like me?" "what if they are like me, what does that make me?"
no one group is more or less likely to do this. everyone has these thoughts, these feelings. and honestly, every time I see it happen, unity is always the answer. the outcome. it makes things better, happier, and more accepting.
Learning unity in the trans community
when my focus was on my gender identity, I ran rampant through the trans community online. i joined groups, followed many creators, learned as much as I could, obsessed over labels, and generally had fun. I'm nonbinary, and don't always refer to myself as trans, but I do take pride in it when I do.
when I started hearing and learning about neopronouns and xenogenders, I was so confused. to me, gender was a binary. fem or masc. you were one or the other, somewhere in-between, both, or neither.
when I heard that people related their gender to things like animals, plants, objects, concepts, or even music, I just did not get it.
I said they weren't valid, I called them weird, called them wrong.
then one day it clicked. I finally understood, and it didn't seem so odd anymore. now I love using my it/its pronouns and get gender envy from sports cars. can you believe it? all it took was an open mind and for me to reword it in my mind in a way that made sense to me.
Learning unity in the otherkin community
I've been an awakened therian and otherkin for over three years now. when I discovered the community and my identity, I was quick to put labels on myself. I'm spiritually a wolf therian and psychologically a Cryptidkin. to me that was it, that was all I could be and all I was.
obviously I knew about and accepted all sorts of otherkin folks. different species and organisms, polykins, even conceptkins. but therianthropy had a set definition in my head, and anyone that didn't fit that box was wrong, or just wasn't a therian.
when I first heard about physical therians/otherkin, I was absolutely not for it. there was already a label for people who thought they were actually physically nonhuman, and that was delusional. (I'm sorry if that's insulting to any zooanthropes, that was just how I thought then.)
just like xenogenders, It took a lot of research and a lot of people explaining it in different ways for it to finally just click for me.
suddenly instead of, "yeah that's not possible" it was "oh shoot that's me."
Learning unity in the Plural community
oof, so this is kind of a controversial topic on tumblr right now, but I'm not going to shy away from this topic just because others don't like hearing about it. (because that would prove my point.)
so my introduction to plurality as a concept started on TikTok (I know, I know...) and I didn't even know about the term plural. the only thing I knew about at the time was DID and later OSDD because the fandom I had been in at the time was FULL of fictives, and our fandom kind of treated them like roleplay accounts.
I thought they were cool. I knew it was a disorder, but I still just treated them like any other people. because well, they are! they're just people. multiple parts working together to form a system that may or may not have to deal with disassociation and amnesia.
and that was all I knew about plurality.
...until things started happening. my brain started talking back. now I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, so I was used to imaging myself in different scenarios, with different people, but I also knew how to separate my daydreams from reality.
I also spoke out loud like a streamer. Referred to the empty air as chat or āguysā so that I could organize my thoughts and pretended they were asking me questions so I could talk about things I wanted to talk about.
but this was different. My mind was actively thinking thoughts that I hadnāt come up with myself. Telling me things I hadnāt thought of or considered. Talking to me like a person.
these instances were brief, barely there. I chalked it up to āsometimes my brain talks to my heart and calls it stupidā or āhaha left brain had to make a decision for right brainā
but then I found a Plurality community. I joined as a questioning āsingletā and realized just how many people were having similar experiences, and not just because of a disorder. And that I wasnāt crazy, I was just actually we.
eventually the stray thought, comment, and advice turned into a full train of thought, full conversations, and actively making decisions for the body. So I was plural. We were two. We still are.
thatās when I had to learn unity. I knew from the information in the plural server I was in that some people didnāt think it was possible, but I never expected it to be this bad. I had barely grazed the anti-endo and CDD-exclusive side of the community before moving to tumblr.
and now Iām on the opposite side. Now Iām the neopronoun user getting told Iām ruining trans peoples reputation. Now Iām the physical otherkin getting told Iām delusional.
now weāre a non disordered collective getting told we canāt exist.
so I understand. That doesnāt stop me from feeling defensive, or from getting angry or petty, but I get it. They donāt understand. They get told theyāre crazy or pretending. so when people show up, happy with a trait they have, that they only got through trauma and disassociation and amnesia? How dare they? How dare we?
it makes sense for them to deny it. To call us stupid or crazy or ignorant or delusional or any number of things. They donāt understand us in the same way that weāll never understand being disordered.
all Iām hoping is that someday we will accept each other and work together to be accepted and live with our crazy brains. Because even though we have different experiences, we can still coexist. We can help each other. We can love and care for each other.
to all my disordered cousins, my xenogendered siblings, and all the physical ākins that came before me and will come after: I love you.
I donāt really get -genic terms, whatās the point of making something that happened in the past a core part of your identity? I really donāt care why you exist Iām just happy youāre here. -Frank
Personally, as I have clarified in the past, I'm a really big fan of bar stools, but I would love to know what your favorite type of chair is šŖšŖšŖ
My favorite type of chair would have to be those wooden park benches. Theyāre chairs! Theyāre just elongated horizontally.
I look forward to the days when this meme can be freely enjoyed throughout the entire community. It does scare the sysmeds though, so,
šŖ is nice šŖ is good .. thank you for this šŖy night were going to sit in the šŖ morning noon and night were going to sit šŖ until were out of sight checheche
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yāknow, we arenāt endo. but we definitely still lean pro-endo. even if we are traumagenic, weāll still be getting fakeclaimed, because we arenāt disordered. isnāt that funny? Iām almost there. Iām so close. Yet, Iāll never be accepted. At least pro-endos will believe I exist.
yes, we try to remain syscourse neutral. we want to get out of the pro-endo side of syscourse - we want to hear you out! we want to understand where youāre coming from! getting out of the echo chamber is essential. our main goal is to connect our community. syscourse runs so rampant, itās hard to find others like you. itās so awful to be here and that isnāt right. we need to change it!
still. sometimes Iām tired. maybe I just wanna be around people who wonāt fuck me over, I guess. at least part of the time.
hey plural community can you get your FUCKING act together? Iām just trying to go into tags to find something relatable and itās literally warfare. can we stop treating other living breathing people like dogshit? please?
Iāve known I was plural for 4 years now. In the āreal worldā (If there is such a thing) I am afraid. I never speak about it outside closed doors. I have never met another system irl. I long, desperately, clawing at the floor with wet eyes begging the gods that someone like me is out there.
This is a large terror. All encompassing. Plurality is my whole life, yet itās impossible to talk about it in the world. Itās not safe. Never was.
So - what. What? What if the first system I meet is anti-endo? What if we have different opinions on this discourse?
Do you understand how small this is? Itās such a small trait in the grand scheme of things. I do not care if youāre pro- or anti-endo. I care that youāre alive and here. No one cares about your origin! No one gives a shit! Youāre stuck in an echo chamber! Stop hating others to feel safety!
WE ARE NOT OPPRESSED BECAUSE OF HOW WE FORMED. WE ARE OPPRESSED BECAUSE WE ARE DIFFERENT, PERIOD.