#phantomhive

» You three met when your parents died, leaving your grandfather as your only family. I mean, your mother was adopted, but that does not change anything. It was when you were very, very young. Your memories of that day are as clear as day. 

It was a nice afternoon, and your grandfather, Tanaka, was holding your hand and leading you down a road, into your new home. After your parent died, it left him no choice but to take you in; after all, he could not leave a brilliant child like you in an orphanage. Fortunately, his master allowed it.

You slowly entered the huge mansion, taking in the luxurious interior. A huge staircase was right in front of you, a beautiful painting came into your line of sight. There was a lovely woman and an intimidating-looking man and their children. Twins. All of them are absolutely stunning. Are they the ones whose house you will be living in? That does seem scary, but maybe it won’t be too bad.

» As intimidating and scary as it might have seemed at first, it was not so bad. The nobles did not treat you badly unless you did something out of line. You were well-fed and dressed, had a roof above your head, and could be with your grandfather.

» It got even better with time, You became friends with the future earl’s fiancée, Elizabeth Midford. Well, of course, you would not just approach her to become friends, but she did just that, first, she wanted to dress you up, of course. 

» And that is how you started hanging out with the Phantomhive twins. 

» It started with small talk, occasionally playing some game like chess, ending with you beaten, of course. But then it evolved into deep talks and spending almost all your free time together, along with Lizzie. But in the end, you, Lizzie, and the twins, especially Astre, got exceptionally close.

» Then their tenth birthday arrived.

Something was very wrong. You were on your way to deliver your presents for the twins into their room, and that is when you encountered a dead body, one of a maid. As you were running down the hallway, you bumped into Astre, who was crying, blood on his hands.

“My parents they-!!” He cries out, and you put your hand on his mouth. There might be someone here. You take his hand in yours and run down the hallway. Finally, you see your grandpa, but he shouts something about retreating, your memory of what exactly is hazy now.

The last thing you recall was someone putting a cloth over your mouth and nose, knocking you out.

» Then, after many days, you ended up in the house of this nobleman. Viscount Blitz Enders, you believe, was his name. He did many things, but firstly he gave you hope. After being separated from the twins, he was the first one who gave you a speck of light to hold on to. He fed you, clothed you, and gave you entertainment. But of course, no one who attends the black market is a good person. 

You could still feel his touches, even if they didn’t linger as much anymore. It felt disgusting. You were just a child, so why does he do this? It did not take him long to get bored of you, switching you up with another victim. 

» After that, you got put into an institution or a cult? The latter. What surprised you were the familiar faces you encountered. The twins. Maybe it would have been better if you did not meet them. 

Blood was everywhere and Ciel lying on the table was everything you could focus on. The ringing in your ears never stops. You faintly recall Astre clinging close to you, crying. Who wouldn’t? The next thing you recall was black mist and a lot of blood. Then fire. 

» Your memories of what happened that day were really hazy. Was it a trauma response, or did something else happen? You will never know. What you know, however, is that you were not supposed to get out of there, yet here you are. Standing at the grave of a boy who is standing next to you, and a boy who will never stand next to you again. 

» That is right. Both Ciel and Astre were dead. One figuratively, the other literally. One thing is sure, it will never be the same. The future Earl is dead, and his younger brother takes his identity.

» You will never open a toy store with Astre like you promised.

» Everyone was overjoyed with the elder brothers' return, what saddened you was that no one batted an eyelash at the fact that the younger brother is really not here anymore. In their eyes at least.

» It lasted a few years, this plain life of watching your first love pretend to be someone he’s not. Pretend to be Lizzie’s fiancé. Pretending to be strong. But it did not go unnoticed. He was just ten years old when all of this started, who could blame a child for faking their strength after all of this?

» The small looks and lingering touches when you were alone did go unnoticed by all, besides Sebastian of course. We never left our emotions behind. Not even in the worst, but will we ever get another chance?

» “Probably not.” That is what you thought when I saw Ciel. Not yoir Astre. But Ciel. The one who was supposed to be dead. All the years of holding on to your feelings, all these years of suffering? Just for some crazed grim reaper to bring Ciel back, endangering Astre? Awesome.