#perogender

definition from AVEN forum. sorry but I think it's similar to perogender. or is it different? no problem with another label for the same thing I guess. I wonder if it would be an orientationgender too.

I decided to borrow some colors from the cupiosexual and cupioromantic flags to help it fit in with the idea of wanting something without identifying as it. The bluish-purple and purplish-pink represent a gender one would want to be, while the green represent one's current gender which is separated from the other colors by a white stripe. The gray represents the lack of identifying as the desired gender.

[Image: a 7-striped horizontal flag with stripes in descending order: dark brown, dark red, red, yellow-gold, red, dark red, dark brown.]

Perogender: Wanting to experience a particular gender, but not actually identifying as said gender. 

Unsure of who coined the original term.

(2/4) exist, its silly not to explore them and see where i fit in this new gender system. thinking about gender confused, frustrated, and scared me. i tried to feel my gender but i just... couldnt. i felt maybe vaguely boy, but i kept telling myself that was just me being a “tomboy”. how would i know what it means to feel like a boy? gender isnt even real! i also remember telling my friend that i felt we shouldnt even have gender. its not even a tangible thing, and it just gets people hurt. she told me “maybe the reason you cant figure out your gender and the reason gender seems so pointless to you is because you dont have one?” and it felt like everything made sense. i had a new respect for all the other genders out there. they didnt make sense to me because i didnt have a gender! i cant percieve gender, but they can! to them, they can feel exactly what it is to be a man, a woman, both, etc. everything felt right for a while. but recently i feel as though im starting to feel gender....? mostly boy, but with a little bit of girl too? yet i also still want to reject gender entirely and remain genderless. i even toyed with being trigender (boy, girl, and agender) but that label sort of scared me because its such a complex gender and clearly, for whatever reason, gender is a scary and mysterious thing for me. everytime i find myself questioning my gender it gives me mad anxiety. i hate not knowing what i am. do you have any words of encouragement for me...?

First of all, gender is scary and confusing, and you’re not alone in having anxiety over gender and questioning. Secondly, you don’t have to understand gender in order to have it. Your fear of gender doesn’t disqualify you from being trigender, if that’s you.

Questioning is nerve-wracking for most people, and for some it does give severe anxiety. That’s okay. I would take some deep breaths and focus on what you do know. You know lots of other things about yourself that aren’t related to gender. You know that everyone has a different experience of gender. You know that you’re starting to feel boy and a little bit of girl.

If you think you are feeling just boy and girl, that’s it, you can use bigender or androgyne. If you think there’s something else too, you can use the label ambonec - male, female, and neither. Either way, there is at least one word you can use for yourself.

If neither of those is satisfactory, you might find one of these terms useful:

Genderanxious: A gender that is undefined because the act of finding a label, or of having a gender, is a trigger for anxiety.

Kynigender: A gender which is not able to be pinpointed due to the stress of the questioning process causing anxiety

Nesciogender or Nesciōgender: A gender one is not completely sure of due to one’s neurotype disallowing a clear understanding of the concept, but has a vague sense of what it could be; i.e. nescioboy, nescioagender, etc.Latin nesciō "I do not know"

Nōlōgender: A term for neurodivergent people who have difficulty grasping the concept of gender. Distinct from nesciōgender in that the individual has no particular desire to investigate their gender, as doing so is overly difficult due to their inability to understand the concept of gender.From latin nōlō, ((i) do not want).

Genderdisturbed: Having a gender that you cannot or do not want to define due to anxiety, repulsion, disturbance, etc..

Gendertrapped: A feeling that one has been forced to identify with a gender that one does not want or relate to.

Peroagender: Wanting to be agender, but not identifying as agender (derived from perogender).

Quoigender: Similar to quoi- as an orientation, this term describes someone who feels that the concept of having a gender does not apply or does not make sense for them, or who rejects the concept of gender entirely as it applies to them.

I may have gone slightly overboard on the terms, but the point is there are lots of words for how you feel, and people made those words, so you’re not alone in having these feelings.

Hope this helps!

More terms. Nubilagender- A term to describe when part of one’s gender is unidentifiable. Also known as maringender. Perogender- Wanting to be a certain gender, but not being of said gender. Vaguefluid- A gender which is fluid, but determining one’s current gender is difficult due to neurodivergency. Cogitofluid- A gender that is fluid only when one thinks about it. Greengender- A subset of colorgender, for the color green. (2/5)

Split- An orientation defined by the symptom of splitting, which causes attraction to fluctuate intensely. Anesigender- Feeling like a certain gender but feeling more comfortable identifying as another. Sensu - An orientation based around sensuality as opposed to romance or sexuality, etc.. Different from a sensual orientation. In other words, romantic type pleasure or sexual type pleasure, etc. is desired or derived from sensuality. (3/5)

Poeti - Feeling attraction to certain genders only hypothetically or fictionally, e.g. poeti-homosexual heterosexual for someone who is heterosexual but is hypothetically attracted to the same gender. (4/5)

Metaromantic -Only experiencing attraction that is unable to be defined by strict terms of platonic or romantic. Coined with the idea of those who only experience queer/quasiplatonic attraction in mind, but available to all who simply cannot define their attraction in ways that are typical and easily understood in the context of societal norms of attraction and relationships. (5/5)

Most of those are already on our docs, but thanks anyway! The ones I added were:

Anesigender as an option to ansigender

Cogitofluid/Pensfluid/Opinofluid/etc. near Pensgender/Opinogender/etc. (remember this one is listed on the L-Z list since Pensgender is the first listed option)

Vaguefluid near vaguegender

I added greengender as an specific example under colorgender, but I don’t think it’s needed to add a specific item under every color; it would be like adding separate options for all possible combinations of altegenders, and even just the ones with flags are a lot.

The @pride-color-schemes blog is a good resource for those who want to reblog or to refer to specific identities, but please remember our docs are the better resource!

i believe you haven’t quite got the correct definition.

Transmasculine is a term used to describe transgender people who were assigned female at birth, but identify with masculinity to a greater extent than with femininity.

it doesnt say they are part female, they just align strongly with masculinity and not so much/not at all with femininity.

you should also look at other alternatives for what your gender might be! ill give you a couple suggestions, see which ones you like most.♡

Demigender– Feeling partially one gender, and partially something else, ex. demiboy, demigirl, etc. The “something else” may or may not be known.

Boyflux– When one feels mostly or all male most of the time but experiences fluctuating intensities of male identity. This can be fluid with any other identity.

Proxvir– Masculine gender similar to boy, but on a separate plane and off to itself.

Perigender– Identifying with a gender, but not as that gender.