#kynigender

quite a few!

Pendogender: “Never being satisfied with your gender no matter how well it fits due to self-doubt, causing one to compulsively search and seek out something that fits even better. Gender perfectionism. This term is exclusive to neurodivergent people only, specifically coined with people with anxiety disorders, OCD, and OCPD in mind.

Xumgender: Never being satisfied with your gender due to constant self-doubt or identity issues, causing one to compulsively search and seek out something that fits as perfect as possible–to find “the gender” or “the one truth”–though one will never be found due to one’s neurotype, because words will never be able to describe it, and/or its own properties paradox itself. This frequent anxiety and doubt even causes this gender to feel imperfect to the individual.

Kynigender: A gender which is not able to be pinpointed due to the stress of the questioning process causing anxiety.

Genderinimicus: A sentiogender which describes a gender experience that cannot be fully felt/comprehended/understood because each time one attempts to mediate on their gender and determine what it does or does not entail/encompass, they feel a great sense of unease or anxiety, they begin to panic, or they become greatly distressed/distraught (including feelings of anger/frustration/despair) over not being able to make the determination. Note that this is not a distress that comes solely from uncertainty, but is a gender experience that necessarily involves an anxious/panicked/distressed sense of one’s own gender. The experiencer is therefore at odds with their gender, and this is the only thing they can know for certain, even if they can approximate what else their gender encompasses. This is dissimilar to questioning or quoigender because it necessarily entails a dissatisfaction with one’s inability to fully grasp their gender. It is NOT just “IDK my gender” or “my gender is IDK”; it’s “I’m disappointed that I don’t know my gender because some emotional barrier is in the way, but I’d still like a term that describes that experience.”

Varumgender / Avarumgender: A gender for a person who feels that, while many terms may be used to describe their gender, they don’t feel like identifying with them may be right for them–due to uncertainty, anxiety, or just neurodivergency in general. Alternatively, a term for use where many labels may fit, and one’s gender may fit all the criteria for these labels, but the traits are all static and never seem to overwhelm each other.

i've never heard of those before! :0 this is so cool!! i hope they're the right flags hhhjfjtj they're the only ones i found aaa

hope you like 'em! 🖤💚🖤💚

(2/4) exist, its silly not to explore them and see where i fit in this new gender system. thinking about gender confused, frustrated, and scared me. i tried to feel my gender but i just... couldnt. i felt maybe vaguely boy, but i kept telling myself that was just me being a “tomboy”. how would i know what it means to feel like a boy? gender isnt even real! i also remember telling my friend that i felt we shouldnt even have gender. its not even a tangible thing, and it just gets people hurt. she told me “maybe the reason you cant figure out your gender and the reason gender seems so pointless to you is because you dont have one?” and it felt like everything made sense. i had a new respect for all the other genders out there. they didnt make sense to me because i didnt have a gender! i cant percieve gender, but they can! to them, they can feel exactly what it is to be a man, a woman, both, etc. everything felt right for a while. but recently i feel as though im starting to feel gender....? mostly boy, but with a little bit of girl too? yet i also still want to reject gender entirely and remain genderless. i even toyed with being trigender (boy, girl, and agender) but that label sort of scared me because its such a complex gender and clearly, for whatever reason, gender is a scary and mysterious thing for me. everytime i find myself questioning my gender it gives me mad anxiety. i hate not knowing what i am. do you have any words of encouragement for me...?

First of all, gender is scary and confusing, and you’re not alone in having anxiety over gender and questioning. Secondly, you don’t have to understand gender in order to have it. Your fear of gender doesn’t disqualify you from being trigender, if that’s you.

Questioning is nerve-wracking for most people, and for some it does give severe anxiety. That’s okay. I would take some deep breaths and focus on what you do know. You know lots of other things about yourself that aren’t related to gender. You know that everyone has a different experience of gender. You know that you’re starting to feel boy and a little bit of girl.

If you think you are feeling just boy and girl, that’s it, you can use bigender or androgyne. If you think there’s something else too, you can use the label ambonec - male, female, and neither. Either way, there is at least one word you can use for yourself.

If neither of those is satisfactory, you might find one of these terms useful:

Genderanxious: A gender that is undefined because the act of finding a label, or of having a gender, is a trigger for anxiety.

Kynigender: A gender which is not able to be pinpointed due to the stress of the questioning process causing anxiety

Nesciogender or Nesciōgender: A gender one is not completely sure of due to one’s neurotype disallowing a clear understanding of the concept, but has a vague sense of what it could be; i.e. nescioboy, nescioagender, etc.Latin nesciō "I do not know"

Nōlōgender: A term for neurodivergent people who have difficulty grasping the concept of gender. Distinct from nesciōgender in that the individual has no particular desire to investigate their gender, as doing so is overly difficult due to their inability to understand the concept of gender.From latin nōlō, ((i) do not want).

Genderdisturbed: Having a gender that you cannot or do not want to define due to anxiety, repulsion, disturbance, etc..

Gendertrapped: A feeling that one has been forced to identify with a gender that one does not want or relate to.

Peroagender: Wanting to be agender, but not identifying as agender (derived from perogender).

Quoigender: Similar to quoi- as an orientation, this term describes someone who feels that the concept of having a gender does not apply or does not make sense for them, or who rejects the concept of gender entirely as it applies to them.

I may have gone slightly overboard on the terms, but the point is there are lots of words for how you feel, and people made those words, so you’re not alone in having these feelings.

Hope this helps!

Jugagender: A gender that feels magical and mysterious.

See also: Medeigender

Kakogender: A gender that is dangerous.

Kangaroogender: A fluid gender that “leaps” from identity to identity.

Kindergender: A gender that feels very childish, hyperactive, and/or impulsive. Note: 4hcan has pretty much ruined this term since they made another, not so great, definition for it. This definition's older but it would be good to use an alternate term if you don't want to be associated with the troll meaning. Alternative suggestion: impulgender (suggested by lesbiancrocker)

Kinegender or Kinetigender: A gender experience that constantly moves or is in motion, similar to genderfluid or genderflux.

Kitharagender: A gender which is similar to guitar strings (strings being for acoustic, electric, or nylon vary upon the person) and therefore enjoys having them ‘strummed’ by immemorgender people. 

Kronosgender or Chronosgender: When you're different genders at different times of the day. Derived from "Chronos" the Greek god of time. Note: Kronos (or Cronus) and Chronos are often confused because of how similar they are, but they are different deities. The coiner mistakenly named it Kronosgender. Not to be confused with Chronogender.

Kynigender: A gender which is not able to be pinpointed due to the stress of the questioning process causing anxiety. See also: Anxiegender, Genderanxious, Imnigender.

[Full list of terms are in the google docs if you don’t want to wait for the next posts]

[Link for A-K] and [Link for L-Z] and [Link for text only]

dysphoria isn’t always body-related, it can also be things like discomfort with thinking of yourself as or being perceived as a certain gender or discomfort with being referred to in certain gendered way. 

you might want to look at this post about more subtle dysphoria/coping mechanisms--the tl;dr of it is that some people just learn to avoid anything that triggers their dysphoria, and then think they aren’t dysphoric because they don’t often experience that discomfort. it could be that you’ve just gotten used to not thinking much about your gender in ways that trigger your dysphoria, except when you actively question it, and then it gets triggered and you get distressed.

you might also be interested in the terms kynigender/genderanxious, though note that those are neurogenders so if you’re neurotypical/don’t have anxiety they wouldn’t be appropriate for you to use.