#parading-hate

"It's been years and then months too, times have passed, circumstances have so vividly changed, for you as well as for me, but even then, in the midst of everything that has indeed happened within our separate lives, I still find my thoughts drifting to you, in moments where I am subjected to my own company. Don't take me wrong though, I still adore my own company, I do love my solitude and I guess I'd still never say that I get bored easily, but even my own solitude is a little different now then it used to be before. The most probable conclusion seems to be something I really do not want to admit; that perhaps the love that existed before, still hasn't left the clutches within me, but to even think that, is downright outrageous, considering it was all those years ago that I was deemed incapable of loving you."

The world is too loud to hear the shattering of a breaking heart. I look into the complexity of the night sky a reflection of the fading feeling you once had. Why do I feel so lost, trapped in this hollowed space?

I know what you are going to say and I am not in the mood to apologize- we all have days like this where there just isn’t enough sleep or coffee or it’ll be okay's  to make the tone in my voice go down and I am pulling out my hair from stress so please just get the fuck over yourself. I am so tired of always listening, always being the ears and the shoulders and my shirt  your tissues (you have to realize how damn  gross it is for you to blow your nose there) and you know what? I don’t care.  I have so much going on and I cry every night but somehow I am adding more to my plate all the while I am biting off heads and  stepping on toes because if you can’t do it right I am sure as hell not letting you try a second time, I only have so many seconds in my day where breathing feels moderately okay  so step off my shit ass attitude  it is what is keeping me going  you think you could do what I do and smile the whole time? do it all and be soft? be sweet? I am faking it all, I swear and I don’t even know how I manage no to say all this to people’s faces  half the time but I am tired of being asked  to do everything when you all know  that I just can’t say “fuck no.”

I am tired that the one person who should take care of me does nothing but destroy me. I am tired of all the drama, tired of all the pain, tired of not being able to sleep, tired of being accused of stuff I didn't even do. I have tried to help you, made excuses for you, tried bending over backwards to please you,but I am done. It's is never enough and at this point it is my sanity or you so what do you think I am going to chose?

Cottonmouth

Cleanse

Let me strangle you with passion

Late that night, he was apporaching home,