#mochaout

when the applause and praise die down

there are no more front row seats

to a production of us

shrouded in untruths; masquerading as love

we don’t acknowledge the elephants in the room

as we stand amongst burnt offerings of bloody tea leaves with the faintest hint of warm vanilla

soured

we are almost memory and false fairytale

finally comprehending the cost of growth and evolution

the cost of wisdom, of letting go

demanding we face the revelation

a beginning has now met its end

and there are no more familiar aromas

or sounds of home

between

distant stares

absent

I can taste the newness on your lips

the unexplained pathways and galaxies residing within your heart

you exist in habitable space, burning brighter than a sun

a rare star yet to be named

you wrap me in your light and balance

an unexpected discovery

an unanticipated gift

time disappears when I enter your atmosphere

and we live in the now; in the present

you consume me with the intensity of your gaze

the softest smile and the strongest stare causing the earth to rumble

you hold me firmly grounding us in the peaceful stillness of your embrace

there’s tranquility in your presence, Love, as I rest in your arms

you grip me with the fullness of you; complex, layered, beautiful

with a smile that glows from your heart

it has been an honor to make your acquaintance

to be able to experience the intensity of our exchange

that grounds me in the moments of our shared time

i give.

the essence of my strength

between longing eyes

waiting

to devour

my heart

words unspoken

of half truths

and full lies

touch my stillness

I give.

all of my dreams

and hopes of

yesterday's promise

to be more

inside my sacred spaces

of contemplation

leaving my mind and

soul empty

I give.

in a desert of forgotten love

a mirage appears in the distance

safety

temperatures rise in protest

to forced happiness and utopia

molten

as time is no longer measured

by the sands of memory

fading

drawing closer to the fallacy of perception

the disappearance of reality

gone

smiles fade as mouths parch

from the dryness of touch

rough

knees give, in exhaustion of false praise

the shape of limbs vanish in the wind

lost

Raise your head slowly

count to five

and let your eyes meet his

remember to make your lips stretch in the corner

happiness

when his hand finally touches your neck

close your eyes

automatic response (fallacy)

be familiar and reliable

grow smaller in his presence

let the tears fall inside your mind

but never on your

face

give the comfort he remembers

care for him like old habit

until tears become metaphors

of the heartache you feel

Because you know

they can never fall

in truth

at least not now

legs weaken at his touch

in memory of what he

once felt like, now

stranger

tears can not fall

because you were programmed

to serve

automatic function enabled

we are the dead and alive

existing

you and I

surviving off the life around us

devouring our denial

corpses of our former selves

walking

lifeless but we appear alive

dead long ago but

we continue to animate

what we used to resemble

our graves growing cold from our

Absence

hearts no longer beat

however we stand upright

our words become incoherent sounds

floating in the air around us

our eyes no longer see

as we are only driven by the need

to survive

to exist

our limbs hang limp and rigid in contradiction to our unnatural state

Dead

But we have convinced ourselves we are still breathing

Neither of us wanting to let go