#ouuuugh

the “i don’t speak french” crisis monologue from jon in mag 102 is so funny out of context but in context it’s absolutely crushing because it’s a marking of his gradual realization he’s slowly becoming less “Jonathan sims” and more “The archivist, avatar of the beholding” and i screamed when it first clicked

if every choice made creates a universe where the opposite choice was made, is there a universe in which lister didn't get help for missing rimmer in blue? is there a universe in which he kept missing him and missing him until his rimmer came back? is there a universe in which lister lets himself love rimmer openly, and rimmer openly loves him back? im normal about this i swear