#omnivert

He isn't necessarily great with people and he doesn't always function well around them

But he attracts them anyway because he is interesting and himself. No matter where he is his true self always seems to shine through

But give him time and actually take a moment to listen to him you'll find that you have a fantastic friend in the making

Omniversion or omnivert: someone who is adaptable and can exhibit both introverted and extroverted behaviors depending on the situation.

My partner calls these monoliths although they are neither made of stone nor one piece.

These are the ones I haven't given away.

I'm about to branch out to 8 sided monoliths, and create a formula for how to calculate dimensions for a variety of iterations.

That's why they call me Amalia polymath. It's like Renaissance person, but even more so.

If you want to know more a bit about me, this is me in a nutshell. I wouldn’t say I’m shy, but in certain situations I’m extremely anxious. To a point I’m overly polite and nice and it comes across as creepy because I’ve said this on my blog, I didn’t want people to know my vunerabilty. I would either be way to freaking happy or way to quiet, since I grew up in a dysfunctional family home, I never knew how to do emotions.

I am an introvert but I’m not shy, if I had the chance to stay home all day and not go out, I will. Now that I’m living on my own in my flat, I feel safer. I love being in my flat because I do feel comfortable. When I was living with my family, I hated staying there so any chance of me getting out, I took it and stayed out. For years I thought I was an extrovert because of that reason and I know not many people will understand that. I only recently found that out.

The situations where I was anxious is when I see people with loving families and I don’t know how to deal with that or what to do. So I just freeze and smile and I didn’t know I was being creepy, it’s me hiding my emotions when I feel uncomfortable. So when people saw that, thought something was wrong with me, but they never had a dysfunctional family where they get abused, beaten, raped, being hated and ridiculed. So when I see something that’s opposite, I get jealous and I freeze. I don’t want jealously get the better of me, I don’t want to hurt people. So I just smile, pretending everything is fine in my head, but inside I’m quivering, shaking and scared. Like “what the fuck do I do in this situation?”.

Normally in the past people hated me because they believed my family. The fell for my mothers manipulation and they hate me for it. BUT when I see people who generally care, I freeze and again I smile. Like “everything is okay”, a lot of the times I blame myself for people liking me and trying to be friendly. So many times I had to start a new life, with new friends because people believed my family and my mother. Now, that has never happened, now I freeze and smile. It’s all I can do because I’m terrified to make new friends and I can keep them this time. I normally shut down and freeze and smile but it’s hard to get out of that habit.

I'm not interested in your certainty Couldn't care less of your perfection Share with me your doubts Open your heart Let me in into your labours I'll meet you in that place Where the spiritual conclusions Will be broken This is where creativity lies That's where the novelty shines Here's where we can really meet: Beyond the image Your imperfections I'm so perfect In this light I don't want you to be perfect I want you to be true.~ ~Jeff Foster