#freeze

it’s me, slightly stoned in order to function, waiting at the goth club that buoyed me through college/post college/until my brain and my minimum wages stopped allowing for any joy aside from cigarettes. tonight the dj lightly teased me because I have been requesting The Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails for months now at these functions , most of which are on a boat, my 12 year old self would have been incredulous that I know a dj and dance on a boat, where people and seagulls can see me. I think the dj and I are in a weird (kind of hot)dom/sub relationship because he said to me “what song am I not playing tonight???? SAY IT YOU HAVE TO SAY IT” “THE PERFECT DRUG SIR SORRY SIR”

what is my life even, that I can be playful and flirty??? where was this person when I had the body to keep up with this spirit??!!??? That’s a rhetorical question bitch, don’t answer that.

It turns out that I can dance to Every Day Is Halloween forever, and I can also marvel at the fact that the women’s room at a goth bar truly is that girl, beaming at every radiant youth who comes in to check their makeup and telling them they look beautiful, and the backpiece that i told a girl on the patio was sick as hell and it WAS, and people just basking shyly in each other’s presence and the undercurrent of the music.

A new research report is adding another piece to a larger scientific puzzle, and the important part is not the drama of the finding but the practical work it could make possible. For readers, the useful question is what the research changes: whether it gives scientists a cleaner measurement, a better tool, or a result strong enough for other teams to test. (more…)