#offshorepoetry

I have to see

She wears her past

Beneath her mask...

Im limitless within

My poetic existence

She interests me

Attention peaked

Wrapped in sheets

Not your average

She's havoc between heartbeats

Dangerous and attractive

And I'm an addict that's got to have it

And she'll forrver be a part of me

She relentlessly

attempts to finish me

With the ferocity

And determination

Of an enemy

Denying her

slowly

I push all of me

Into her

Energy

Collecting

The essence

She pushes back into me

She now begins to see

That she was meant for me

My unfinished symphony

Sprinting through

My mind endlessly

Trying align my horizon

With her symmetry

Forbidden memories

Haunting me tempting me

Unforgiving fingertips

Trace her a path to my soul

If shes in my thoughts

Then im in her dreams

I've been long since

Past control

I let the rage

Of her oceans wave

Splash into me

Crash chemistry

Bad ministry

As we dash towards heaven

lost

In my vast divinity

Magnetic attraction

Tender tragic

Animalistic madness

Ill eat you alive

In cannibalistic fashion

With a savage

lack of compassion

Giving in to the madness

Fading in the blackness

Don't even have to try

to make it last

It just happens

Back to back to back

Again and again and again

it just happens....

I found the light

And within my weakness

I found the courage

Somehow to fight

As the warrior within me

Screams loud inside

I can't stand the way they lie

Existential visions

interdimensional wisdom

I can see thru your prism

with my third eye

Desensitized

Luckily I forget how to cry

Carry on live

With ever lasting energy

Yet lacking symmetry

Crash chemistry

My passion limits me

She says I love you

But it just doesn't sound right

Life is a constant battle for self

So I'm always wound tight

Vampire's are all around

ominously searching

For a sound bite

Unfortunately

I just don't know how to die

Her engineering is impeccable

Yet threatens to finish me

No Self control

I find that

My own soul is the enemy

And nothing is as it seems

At least not

what it pretends to be

Offended by their ministry

Yet still in search of divinity

Feet in the sand

Heart on my sleeve

Head in the clouds

wishing this Darkness would leave

Traveling against

the current of the crowd

As my sanity

slowly parts from me

Blessed but stressed out

And I dare not start to speak

lest my heart start to bleed

splatter on the page

Its ok my pain is all art to me

Uncharted

attempting to protect

and somehow resurrect

all the Lost parts of me

The fire burns different

When you know

you could have done better

but didn't

So many times we've died inside

sacrificing this life of mine

for the sake of somebody else to live it

Resentments turned me cold inside

another casualty

of another attempt at commitment

How much pain

how insane must I be made

How many "mistakes" does it take

for me to finally get it?

Check my pulse for me,

or just hold me closely

before I Impulsively

make another attempt to forget  it.

I'm not living well

Throw quarters in my wishing well

Some Wishing I fell

deep in a prison cell

waiting for medication

reservations in hell waiting

mental health fading

cradle to the grave quick

like rooftops to pavement

so impatient

and she couldn't be the glue

that holds my broken heart together

so she was gonna break it....

She's a blast of silly string

to avoid the fight

She's that cool

breath of fresh air

That tells me

it's going to be alright

She's the moon,

Illuminating the night

But don't get it twisted .

Her essence is mystic

Spellbound and cryptic

She's a suprise submission

Bareback saltrock shotgun shells

on a dark summer nights

psilocybin mission

She's Hell bound addiction

And heaven sent

And no amount of medicine

Can make me forget

She's the rabbid wolf

in any fight...

The girl you want

by your side

But the calm seas

make Cyanide

Tephlon Ironhyde

Rest on

Thru the darkest time of night

Juggling the prettiest kinda lies

Lascivious fireflies

I can think of nowhere I'd rather be

but by her side

As my moon starts to fall

And the sun tries to rise

My current circumstance

Is my penance

for living this kinda life

So tired of just surviving

I'm trying to thrive

And She's always on top

Cuz she likes the ride

And I am, of course obliged

To let her grab the stick and fly

And pilot thru the pink and violet sky

Into the horizon

Where the mouth of heaven

opens wide

To whisper life into this mind of mine

I am trying to be...

I am

failing to climb

To where I aspire to be

There's trouble on the horizon

It lies Disguised

Just beyond the construct of her eyes

are signs

that say

Clear skies

as far as the eye can see

But I get that ole familiar sting

That feeling someone

Is lying to me...

Hopeless Romanticism

An explorers fantasy

Storm winds damaging

Like swords from a war

I'm mismanaging

Like before...

I'm yours

For mishandling...

I used to wake with wonder

Laying in wait

For what this planet would bring

So many high horses

So many holy rollers

So many rollercoasters

It's made me manic I think

I switch from panic to grief

Praying in some way

I can split this tab amicably

Walking away from so much pain

Sounds too much like a fantasy

To me however

outstanding

understandably

And I believe in God

But not according to man's

standard belief

Even though I'd pray

To get away

Everytime I ever ran from police

Don't judge me

And I won't ever judge you

If you should ever happen to fall

from a place of grace

And land on the streets

And you gotta do what you gotta do

so you and your family can eat...

Because I don't know about you...

But nothing has ever been handed to me

as my sanity runs rampant

And all my thoughts become poisoned

And rancid

until I'm just a hollowed out manikin and you can put your ear to my chest but you

can't hear a beat

And I stand on mine

And would never stand for defeat

But your promises

are like a cancer to me

I call out to God but only you came

Answering me

My commander in chief

The sandman

The romance to my dreams

And it seems the answer is bleak

Growing weaker

Watching the image of me

Disappear in the mirror

it finally became clear...

That the answer is me

Her words

Like sandpaper

Scraping his mind

Gears grinding

As she constructs

the shape of me

With her mind

With no brakes

her curves are

treacherous to your drive

Yet he's impetuous

In her eyes

Her words stir deep

The tears burn

from her heat

Before they even fall

to her cheek

She will not be hurt

Before she's hurt me

Concerned and worried

when things turn bleak

Now we just want to burn free

In hopes our flames dont

Return to burn me

With clipped wings

Picking up tripped things

Still dirty and lost

I clean their wounds

My pressence

calms their mind...

Still, it dreams

And feels its things

I so long to fly

by her side again

I still carry her memories

But when I play them back

in my mind again...

And again...and again

It stings...

The loss of her is like...

Battling

...Hell...

And all of the demons

....it brings

Everything you are to me

Just to make you smile

I would reach into the Heavens

And grab every star you see

And rearrange them in a way that spells the words "Forever 'heart' you and me"

You are the light when I'm not right

And the futures too dark to see

You are the soft skin on my hard scars

You are the better part of me

The other half

of my wounded heart

My muse My artistry

And the bars

that guard the parts of me

that are just too dark to see

You are the motivation

to reach my dreams

When they seem

too far to reach

I'll love you forever

You make me better

From every scar you see

Thru every lesson

Until the reaper of death

Comes to collect

And trust I'll fight that

Until my very last breath

Until you're convinced

And start to believe

That every perfect imperfection

You think you have

Is just like art to me....

She has absolutely no idea....

I confide in her

Silently.

Reminded of a bond

formed at twilight

after decoding the lines

from her minds

diary,

like interviewing a vampire

Her eyes like...

tiny

Hungry

campfires

that shine on me.

She carves her story

through the landscape of my mind

Tirelessly...

Somewhere inside

she desires

A love so strong

it could break the ties

that bind her

and reverse the spell

that's designed

the very fabric of a mind

that she doesn't realize

inspires me...

Indecisively

and sometimes violently

Casting shadows on the light

That used to shine so vibrantly

Illuminating Deep

into my leviathan

where hope

and childlike wonder

was once alive in me...

I used to dream

the dream of kings

Of a queen

that would breathe me back to life

letting the fire

she ignited in my mind

attempt to purify me

while I sleep

and I would survive

and be renewed entirely...

And I would awaken

In spite of all the times

I didn't see a way out alive

and maybe didn't want to die

But wanted a better life

In spite of all

I've ever tried to be...

And everyone

that's ever

lied to me...

And all the hurt and pain

From all the mistakes

I've ever made

from just trying to maintain

would die...

expiring delightfully

And finally

I could sigh relief

Footsteps down a dark hallway

Echoing melancholy

Seeds of anger

And oh Ive been suffering

from mental realness

Bleed your passion

Dont conceal it...

But stop giving it for free..

...Promise me

And I'm not promising that

You'll thank me later

As we're waltzing around

In my mind

Until the time

I return to my cryogenic chamber

Frozen tidal waves

Of Psilocybin danger

Wanna know

how I got these scaaars?.... (Joker Voice)

....I tried to tame her...

Thrilled

when I'm in danger

Uncomfortable and undone

Because I'm safer.

Get in my rocket

Let's make love in the cockpit

And then war

just because it's toxic...

Oh... how I miss the Chaotic

Hide from my fears

Living a nightmare

I'd pay top stock

to stop quick

Familiar but obnoxious

Illegitimate process

God's Prophet

With a God complex

Unshakable feeling

That im gonna drop next

Stressed tf out

cuz I can't show

reasonable progress

And I can't read the lick

And I keep getting hit

Cuz nobody is honest...

Hustle harder listen more

and talk less

Professional help

With an ominous context

and you want more content...

But I am but a victim

indifferent to stop it.

I don't architect this shit

You're reading my vomit

As the demons that hunted

me so feverishly

with bloodlust passion

And no plans to stop

Rush thru my door

Because I invited you in...

And you forgot to lock it....