Devine Theory

And after the smoke clears and the dust settles the self aware finally realize that all of everything we've dragged ourselves through....Each heart wrenching experience and so-called tragedy that we have endured, by our own hands or at the hands of others... ended up all being just lines of fabric intricately woven together with Godlike precision to create these very moments.

Moments today that I wouldn't trade for the world. A gift... From our past....Which is why, I think they call it the present.

you have to close your eyes

against the wind...

To stay focused

through the chaos of the storm...

From my angel to a friend fallen into a love I never thought I’d feel

Trusting the process, believing we both wanted something fucking real

Knowing each other from flesh to our pasts, understanding trust is a big deal

The love followed the connection effortlessly like magic

I wasn’t prepared for the joker to pull a hat trick

My tears fall to the paper as you bail

Now alone, frozen, colder than icy hail

Pain lies deeper than the ocean floor

I thought you’d protect my heart, now ruthlessly tore

Lies coming from the same soft lips that kiss me goodnight

As you look in my eyes while pulling me into you so tight

A deep love uncomfortably resides within me

I can’t escape the pain that I was beginning to set free

Why was the truth so damn hard for you to fight

My protector, I thought we’d have it all, me your sun and you baby my light

Shot in the chest, seems my heart can’t get any rest

Scared and alone, I turn to see it was my fallen angel holding the gun

Paralyzed by shock and pain, unable to run

Blindsided, like blowing through a stop sign

Tonight my prescription begins with a bottle of wine 

You kill mv soul slowly as I now see months of lies

You’ve lied with me watching my intense cries

Promising truth while staring into my eyes

How could you look me in the eyes

And simultaneously keep on the lies?

No remorse as you feel my cries

We’ve come so far just to break the most impossible part

Our foundation once so strong falling apart

Cautiously I had let love in as he dissolved the hard parts

The walls around my heart crumbled and came apart

Me, so cautious thinking Im prepared for anything as I’m so damn smart

How did I allow him to penetrate my heart

Soul shattering, my heart just like the glass on the floor

Lying in pieces, he walks right over me to the door

My soul’s only company is from the hotel lamp nights before

I truly believed I was the only one he adored

Or so I thought…blinded by my love for him, I never saw the impending storm 

My mind body and soul now caught in the downpour 

Lying in pieces like the lamp on the floor

We’ve come so far to knowingly keep on with the lies

Trust and love all a disguise

Realizing the lies after his continuous denies

he tries so hard to turn every around on me

So easy to have told me the truth from the start

Instead telling her you love her while lying in bed with me from the start

Reading every word I saw the lies

I soon realized parts of my poem were inspired by his muse

The pictures put me over the top

Flesh exposed, the denials wouldn’t stop

Why was it so hard to love and respect me

Confused by this pain you aren’t here to see

I’m undone, broken once again

I crawl back under the covers for protection 

Too weak to pick up the pieces today 

Here in bed I think I’ll stay

All I wanted was you and only you

Unsure of anything anymore that I thought was true

It’s never been about past relations

Its the lies to my specific questions 

How could you say you’re truthful as you pretend?

One