#odd conversations

Conversation 1: In a music room with a bunch of Orff instruments, tubanos and gathering drums set up in a grid for some reason on the topic of dinosarus.

Student: Miss. B! We're talking alot about dinosaurs in Music Class...

Me: Yeah, sorry...we got off on a odd track. Y'all ready to Mallet Madness!?!

Class: YESS!!!

Different Student: Miss. B! Do you know how the dinosaurs died?

Me (This oughta be good): How?

Student: So there was this big flood and it wiped out all the dinosaurs and the bad people because they weren't allowed on Noah's Ark. Only certian animals and Noah's Family were allowed and the dinosaurs and sinners weren't.

Me pursing my lips trying not to roll my eyes: Alrighty then! Lets start Mallet Madness!

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Conversation 2: In a noisy music room while students were getting settled at the beginning of class.

Girl Student with pretty blue hair: Miss. B, I need to sit in the front today. I have lost my glasses!

Me: Oh my, Do you have an idea where they may be? Like at home or some place here at school?

Girl: They're at home, I know they are. You see my family practices a form of Witchcraft and my mom is pretty sure that the faries took them!

Me wondering if I had heard her correctly: Oh Ok! Will you be able to get them back?

Girl: Yeah...we just have to gift the faries with something shiny!

Me without missing a beat: Well alright then I hope y'all are successful...do you want to just be at this front station today?

Girl: Yeah! Thanks!

Me thinking: Did I just hear her correctly? Well, I have to accommodate all religions...so alright ...whatever...not my business...

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“WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BUDGET DO THEY HAVE?!?!?!”

How my sister's came out

*my family playing hangman

Me: *looking very close at the letters"

Me: "YOU'RE BISEXUAL"

Sister 1: "There were only four letters HOE HOW DID YOU GUESS"

Sister 2: "Wait was was the answer I wasn't paying attention"

Sister 1: "Nope you have to guess."

Sister 2: "ah fuck me"

*They continue to play until she catches on

Sister 2: "BITCH HOW DID YOU KNOW"

Me: "I think she would know if she had the hots for chicks"

Me: I want to share my experience with X because it happens to everyone.

Them: Everyone experiences X.

Me: Yes.

Them: No, you don’t get it. X happens to everyone.

Me: Yes, I know. Isn’t that great?

Them: … It happens to everyone. We all experience this.

Me: Yes!

Them: It does not make you special.

Me: I know. I had a normal thing happen to me.

Them: …

Me (thinking of saying: If we both agree that X happens to everyone, why are we fighting?): …

At this point, both parties are seething in disagreement. We are speaking at each other instead of with each other. It’s no longer about X. The conversation has turned into “why doesn’t the other person understand what I mean? They just don’t get it.”

I never know how to end these types of emotionally charged interactions. Or how to defuse the tension.

Me having got of bus with bags of shopping.

Two teenage girls hurry over to me and ask “can you do the walk?”

Me utterly baffled “walk? What walk?”

“The Walk” they repeat at me.

Me still very confused. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Teenager girl 1 to teenage girl 2 “she doesn’t know”. Then to me “sorry, mistake” and then they run off.