âPersonally, I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream; youâd be daft not to try both when there are so many different flavours.â This endearing analogy, uttered by equally endearing Icelandic icon BjĂśrk, stresses her steadfast opinion that âeveryone is bisexualâ. But even if bisexuality doesnât describe everyone, it makes up the largest proportion of all people non-compliant to the adjective âstraightâ. Simply put, bisexuality is a term to describe individuals who feel romantically and/or sexually attracted to both sexes, meaning their preference is neither exclusive to men nor women.
But despite its sizeable demographic, and the numerous studies which conclude pure hetero- or homosexuality to be a myth, bisexuals often fall victim to social ostracism. Too gay for straights, too straight for gays, bisexuals are too frequently labelled as frauds or experimentalists, incapable of committing to one sole party. And as societyâs understanding of sex and gender progresses, leaving little room for binaries, âbiâsexuality becomes increasingly complex.
Bisexuality Pride LGBTQ David Bowie Lady Gaga Freddie Mercury Music Pop Culture Pride 2019 Pansexual Queer Think Piece
A constant and bothersome companion to bisexuality is its apparent ambiguityâsocietyâs inability to grasp the potential for erotic or amorous interaction with not just one of the two sexes has wrongfully made bisexuality a matter of superstition. A recent study found that bisexuals, of all sexual minorities, are the most likely to suffer from mental illness along the lines of anxiety and depression, stemming from both internalised and externally inflicted biphobia on account of stigmatisation and discrimination induced not only by straight people, but by members of their own community as well. The most prevalent vehicle for intolerance of bisexuals is (surprise, surprise) the narrow-minded idea of there only being two sides to pick from, leading to nonsense-assessments Ă la âbi people are repressing somethingâ, âbi people are on the vergeâ. Moreover, male-identifying bisexuals are regularly pigeonholed as gay men who want to feel more ânormalâ every now and then by strutting alongside a woman, whereas many bisexual women endure belittlement, their experiences reduced to mere trial and error phases of rebellious college years.
But what does being bi even really mean in an age when dating apps such as Tinder offer more than 20 options to describe oneâs own identity? How timely is the concept of bisexuality when weâre on the cusp of throwing out expired definitions meant to mathematise human sexuality and identity politics? Connecting the dotsâranging from those force-feeding frequently surreal interpretations of bisexuality to the rusty roles and rules of gender coinciding herewithâbrings along another, very new problem for and with the titular term. Bisexuality is rooted in dualityâits name is predicated on the âfactâ that there are two genders: male and female. Present dayâs discourse, however, has done its best at dismantling said duality, pushing the notion of gender as a social construct. What makes bisexuality a problem for mainstream culture to comprehend is the underlying, subtle reality that it ultimately caters to everyone but the straight cis-manâunfathomable for a mindset cemented in patriarchal convictions. It, with other things, then leads to a phenomenon called bi-erasure, and furthermore to bigotry at its broadest, sourced from wide-spread disregard for sexual fluidity and refusal of the concept that one doesnât feel exclusively drawn to one thing in favour of the other.
Itâs this exact type of treatment that exhibits the general populaceâs insufficient degree of sensibility in dealing with matters âout of the ordinaryâ and why, despite itâs historic prolificacy (ancient Greek, Japanese and Roman depictions of bisexual relationships were fairly common), sexual fluidity didnât gain mainstream momentum until the 70s, when Freddie Mercury and David Bowie emerged as two high profile beacons of the cause. Where previously bisexuality had been the product of retrospective speculationâHollywood figures such as James Dean, Marlon Brando and Greta Garbo were âoutedâ after their careers endedâpop music popularised bisexuality in the presentâand for an audience beyond the queer underground.
Thatâs not to say Bowieâs take on bisexuality exactly exuded âPrideââin fact, the artist explained more than once that officially coming out did him more harm than good. Still an undeniable legend in- and outside of the LGBTQ+ cosmos, Bowieâjust as other people in his shoesâhad difficulties with the term in question, revoking or minimising claims again and againâto the point that, to this day, biographers, fans and exes alike remain unsure wether or not he felt honestly attracted to women and men, or was merely intrigued by bisexuality on a shock value- or curiosity-level. It resembles the kind of borderline sensationalism that brought forth Madonna and Britneyâs VMA kiss, vague-at-best comments by celebs in interviews and other question-worthy instances of how bisexuality has been brushed up against, but rarely embraced on a genuine level by people of public interest.
It all charts back to what is referred to as the male gazeâthe filter through which weâve been taught to consume our environment, particularly by way of media. Even the little bits and pieces one does see tapping into alternatives to classic hetero monogamy are mostly blemished by negative stereotyping and bizarrely hypersexualised scenes fresh out of frat-bro wet-dreams. Going against this grain is Desiree Akhavanâs series âThe Bisexualâ, in which the 35-year old actress, director and HBOâs âGirlsâ-alumna has managed to entertainingly and thoughtfully depict what might be be one of the first examples of how to pop culturally handle the often conflicting topic of being bisexual with care.
Aforementioned proceedings considered, execution and a heightened awareness for cause-and-effects are why a new generation of vocal youth has, across all platforms, boosted a conversation to crack open the boxes we are either placed in, or choose to place ourselves in for fear of bad resonance. More modern, more inclusive designs like pansexualâthe tendency to sexually or romantically like someone in spite of biologically- or self-ascribed traits of gender or sexâare on a rise. To many, âqueerâ is the least restrictive of all labels, indicative of liberation from the binary. In this instance, it seems as though bisexuality in its traditional sense no longer remains the most politically correct of all notions.
But that being said, we mustnât forget: labels can do harm, but they also set free. The ability to engage in conversations like these is a privilege weâve been afforded in the Westâa privilege thatâs important to remember at the time when our part of the globe celebrates Pride, while others in the LGBTQ+ community elsewhere are being imprisoned or even killed for their sexual identities. Bisexuality, and everything that has branched from it to articulate sexual fluidity, needs to be taken seriously within our own, local spacesâjust as serious as every other letter in the line-up that constitutes the LGBTQ+ umbrella. Resisting to defy suppressions of any kindâeven if youâre not personally vulnerable to their consequencesâresults in nothing. Itâs only through efforts to increase visibility inside our already comparatively progressive realms that we can transport Prideâs cause to places still at unease with non-heteronormativity, and actually feel proud.
