#nettyplays

Martyn: Okay. So let's talk about this, right? So, if you don't know--(kissing noise, Martyn laughs) Sausage coming over to give me a kiss; that was literally the sound of it--um, so if you don't know, myself and Netty have been passing back and forth for a while now, uh, this teeny tiny picture of a ghost. Annoyingly, I have now lost the original article of it, which is--a shame. Um, but to give you some context, uh, one day I went to go and fill up my sleep apnea machine--to fill up the water chamber--and there was a ghost in there. Random. Uh, then I put it in...I think it was-I think she had some boob tape, and I stuck on a little, like, bit of extra blu tack on it that had 'B-S' so it looked like it said 'BOOBS' instead of BOO--thought it was pretty funny. Um, then I did it in like, a book, and I had put a 'K' at the end of it, um, then...she put it in my sock drawer but in one specific pair of socks--that's not even necessarily a favorite, it's just--I happened to pick that pair up, but then that was the first time we ever spoke about it, right? So we hadn't spoken about this--ghost back and forth thing at all, we had only ever...just played.

Martyn: Like, so I found it one day, put it somewhere for her to find without a word, um. And then when we went to Sheffield, for Halloween, she actually sent a picture of it to the reception desk, ahead of time--this was like a week before--and then when I got there...I was handed a room key, the ghost was inside. Well played. Um...at Christmas, it was still in my possession, so I thought, you know what, Imma find out who her Secret Santa is, um, and I basically gave it to them, to put inside of her Secret Santa gift, and then she opened it, we all laughed, it was great. Then I opened my Secret Santa--which is this big--assumedly a picture--and sure enough, it's a massive bloody ghost. She's got it illustrated, and done on like--what is it, A3-A5? Whatever the other one from four is. Um, so I got got. Then--I can't remember how I got her back again...I think she decided that it remained in play, cause I think her technically getting me for Secret Santa was like, "wasn't her turn," but whatever.

Martyn: Um, so she still had it, and then what she did was she gave it to one of the other mums at the school who goes to the same gym class as me, but she goes to the one earlier in the morning. So I get to the gym class that day, finish the warm-up, and the guy goes, "what do you know about a ghost, Martyn?" And I was like, "what do you mean, like, Casper? Wh-what we talking about here?" And he just points at the wall--sure enough, the little ghost is pinned, into the wall, for all to see. Very Good.

Martyn: So then I was in possession of the ghost this past couple weeks. And finally--its been very long overdue, in my opinion--Amelia--so once a week at Amelia's school they give out a certificate from the head teacher, uh, to one kid from each class for like excellence for the week, that kind of thing. So I decided I was going to speak to the head teacher, and say, "hey, whenever Amelia get it--" cause every kid gets it, at least once a year-- "whenever Amelia gets it, would you also be able to call up Annette on stage--" or, the front of the assembly-- "and then hand her the ghost. Cause I think that'd be really funny." So that-the, the head teacher was immediately like, "I love this idea, it sounds really cute, go for it." So I did that--

Martyn: The week finally comes--it was last week--so, in the morning, I'd had some time to think about it over the last week or two, and I thought, 'you know what, I don't want to confuse Amelia, or detract from her moment, and her achievement, by doing this silly thing on stage.' Uh, so instead I just said to the head teacher, like, "hey, like, d'you wanna just like, hand it to us when we initially come into the building, like, cause you welcome us into the building, and then you take us down to the assembly area--just give it to us then, and--it'll catch her off guard.'

Martyn: So what the head teacher does, is the head teacher comes out to us and goes, (leaning into his mic, quietly) "I'm really sorry, Mister and Mrs. Littlewood, um...could you just come with me for a second?" All of the parents are looking around like, 'oh God, what's, what's this about, what's their kid done?' So we get pulled into the head teacher's office. She's like, have a-have a seat over here please. I'm like, in my head, going 'oh my God, this is amazing--' Annette, genuinely, looks like she's about to cry. (laughs) (miming turning around) And she turns 'round, and she goes, "yeah, so this is concerning, um, uh...' (background noise and talking, which Martyn silences) oh no, she didn't say, "concerning Amelia," she-she just walks over and goes, um, she goes, "I'm really sorry to have to hand you this, but," (mimes handing Netty a note) and then she just hands over the ghost to Annette, and Annette goes (Martyn looks up, goes wide eyed, blinks a few times as if startled)--Annette is so baffled and confused, and then eventually--she doesn't even have to open it, she just sees the name of the hotel on the card, and you just see this like, flood of emotion wash over Annette, um, completely caught her off guard. And it was very very good. And we were really laughing about it, and then as we got up, I just said to Annette--I was like, "she's not even getting a certificate today." And then like, all three of us burst out laughing--so, for us to go in there, and everything look really stern, and then all of a sudden, all laughing, as we come out of the--uh, out of the head teacher's office, just made it brilliant. It was very funny.