#narc safe

Us and our partner system are both aro and narcissists and we thought for years that we must be alloro because we mistook our strong narc attachments for romantic attraction. The strong attachment to a person made us feel like we wanted whatever romance was with them, but once we started trying to do romantic relationships we got aro panic and felt trapped. We tried to date people and things fell apart because we were incompatible and just didn't want the same things in a relationship as them. We meshed best with other arospec narcissists who implicitly understood that we want supply and intensely attached relationships without that attachment including romance and tying our lives together. Both our aromanticism and narcissism play such large roles in our attachment that it is impossible to describe in what way we attach to people without referencing how both influence the attachment.

Then we realized we're aplspec and the narcissism affects platonic relationships the same god damn way there. We don't have squishes or platonic attraction really (except for one singular squish once in our whole life), but our platonic style attachments and relationships are still heavily influenced by our narcissism and lack of empathy.

You could probably extend this concept to being acespec or more aspec axes, but we wouldn't feel comfortable coining those because we wouldn't find them useful terms for ourselves and we'd like to leave defining terms up to people who want to use the things they're defining.

The pink on the flags represents narc attachment and narcissism, because it is eye-catching and also this song. (P: pretty, I: intelligent, N: never sad, K: cool!). The green represents aromanticism. The blue represents aplatonicism. The teal represents mixing both together. The white represents... I dunno, the fucking relationships and supply and how great our narc attachment is or whatever. It looks good and we like it, don't @ me. We made the colors bright because so many aspec and narc flags have dull colors and we wanted to represent the vibrancy of our experiences.