Warnings: reality manipulation, mentions of repeated deaths (in many lifetimes, sort of), poisoning, drugging, revenge & murder. idk if half of these even are warnings, but just in case.
When Villain said that eight months would fly by, Hero did not comprehend just how fast that would be. In the course of the seven months, Villain had told them about every redo of their relationship, all of the weddings they'd had - a big traditional one, an impromptu ceremony at a carnival, a public Hero & Villain wedding at the city hall, no wedding at all, a wedding in a park, and many more. Each and every one of their weddings had been different, yet every life of theirs led to the same result - Villain watching Hero die by nightfall on that godforsaken day. Always poison, with no explanation where it was coming from. Villain wasn't stupid and tried any food or drink before allowing Hero a taste. At the very least, they should have died as well. A much more preferable outcome, if you ask them.
It was lucky Hero always retired about seven months into their relationship, although the asshat of a mayor never seemed to stomach it well. Villain had no need to disrupt public peace anymore either - the aforementioned asshat was enough on his own.
Though the trauma of it all was taking its toll on Villain, who became more paranoid as the date approached. There was only a month left to their thirteenth wedding, and the realisation hit Villain stronger than ever. They grew more suspicious of every person around them, not letting Hero out of sight for longer than a few minutes. They barely left the house leading up to the dreadful day, barricading inside as if fate could be impeded by the walls Villain built around them.
With only twenty-four hours of their shared life remaining, Hero had had enough. They look up at Villain sitting on the couch across from them. With a huff, they get up, strolling over and all but falling in Villain's lap. This earns a light chuckle from their betrothed, but Hero isn't deceived by it in the slightest. They see the stiffness in Villain's shoulders and notice the harsh line settled between their eyebrows. With an overly enthusiastic smile, they intertwine their fingers before speaking.
"Come with me?"
Villain's surprise is tangible. They squirm under Hero, twisting to wrap their arms around their lover's waist. "Where to?"
"Does it matter?" Hero questions, nuzzling into the crook of Villain's neck. Villain shakes their head, a soft sigh leaving their lips before they press them to the top of Hero's head. "Then come. I want to take a walk."
"Hero," there's a warning in their voice and underlying concern, both overshadowed by Villain's willingness to follow them anywhere. As long as we're together.
"Cut the bullshit," Hero's voice intrudes their thoughts harshly. "I won't stay locked up anymore."
"Just one more day," Villain pleads, arms drawing Hero's form flush against their chest. "One more day to keep you safe."
"No," they attempt to sound determined. Villain can tell they are. To think they found that stubbornness charming once! That was before Villain had to watch them die twelve fucking times. "Come with me, or I'll go alone."
"Not a chance, love," the words barely roll off Villain's lips when Hero springs up, pulling them to follow.
"I knew you couldn't say no to me," Villain knows there's a smug smile plastered on their beautiful face without even looking.
"Not fair," they whine, which earns a near-cackle from their beloved nemesis. "You are not supposed to use that against me."
Hero glances at them over their shoulder as they lock the door and grasp Villain's hand again, dragging them along. "I never played fair, did I?"
"You're the hero!" Villain exclaims, but there's no offence taken. Villain knows they are being silly, but their dramatics are well loved by Hero.
"So what?" Hero is as nonchalant as one gets when they shrug, tilting their head to the side with a taunting wink. "I'm an asshole, deal with it."
Villain laughs, drawing them close and leaving a lingering kiss on their temple. "God, you're lucky I love you."
Hero can't help the smile stretching their lips. "You sure I'm the lucky one here?" They muse before taking a turn and coming to a halt in front of a small chapel tucked discreetly between taller buildings. They lead Villain towards it.
"What are we doing?" The barely forgotten concern resurfaces in Villain's tense tone. Their eyes dart between Hero's face and the chapel in front of them. "Hero, why are we here?"
"For a secret matrimony, of course," they state matter-of-factly. Villain is very much speechless. "Something we should have done from the start. Say you still want to marry me."
Villain wants to argue, but a look into Hero's eyes tells them it's pointless. "Of course I do."
Less than an hour later, they are back on their couch, wrapped in Hero's arms, their face pressed against Hero's chest so they can listen to the steady beat of their heart.
The morning of their 'wedding day' comes inevitably soon. Villain wakes up to a soft kiss on their forehead, tears immediately welling in the corners of their eyes. They blink those back and swallow the lump in their throat, wallowing in a haze of apprehension. They are already married, and Villain would be relieved had they not experienced it precisely like this before.
"Promise me something," Hero's hand wraps around their neck, demanding their full attention. It's almost noon, and Villain cannot calm the tremor in their lungs.
"What?" They dip their head, their forehead is cold from nervous perspiration as it comes to rest against Hero's warm one.
"Don't try to save me," despite the softness of their tone, Villain jerks back, eyes stinging at the slap of words thrown their way. "Let me go."
"No way in hell," they don't even have to think, their mouth acting on instinct as their hold around Hero tightens, sure to leave bruises over their sides.
"It's okay," Hero caresses their cheek, eyes never leaving Villain's. "I've been the happiest for eight whole months. And many more that I don't remember. That's more love than I ever hoped for."
"No," Villain repeats, shaking their head to hide the angry flush rising to their cheeks. "I can't. Never."
"Please, Villain," Hero's voice cracks at the sight of Villain's crestfallen face. "You need to move on."
"No," their eyes are watering, but Villain cannot bring themself to care anymore. "No, Hero."
"You can't keep living stuck in a loop," Hero reasons, their point falling flat because Villain doesn't care. "It's been 8 years, Villain! You need to let go."
"No!" Anger flares to life in Villain's eyes. Their entire body shudders at the thought, trembling hands clutching Hero as if that will keep them in place. Right next to Villain, where they always belonged.
"Villain, please," Hero watches the first of many tears roll down Villain's cheek, their eyes softening. Their hand moves to wipe it away. "I love you. More than you will ever know. But you need to let me go. There's no other way."
Need?
Not once in the eight years they've been fighting for Hero did they consider that. They cannot believe Hero would even suggest such a thing. Unless... Oh.
"I won't watch you die again," Villain claims, seeming to regain their composure, strange coldness overtaking their features. They meet their spouse's eyes with newfound determination. "This time around, I'll be the one going."
"Don't say that," Hero begins, an uneasy feeling settling deep in their stomach. Dying couldn't possibly hurt more than watching Villain crumble.
But, before they can continue, Villain interrupts. "I mean that. If one of us has to die then it'll be me."
With a shake of their head, Hero collects their thoughts and does their best to sound stern. "You can't do that. I won't let you."
"Just like you've been doing all this time?" The statement catches Hero off guard. They freeze in Villain's arms, lips parting in shock. They cannot have... "Whatever do you mean?"
They know they gave themself away the moment their high-pitched question reaches their own ears.
"It seems to me the reason I fail to save you in every damned life is because I take heed of everything but one key component of this day," Villain's voice is eerily calm, almost serene in its rage. Their eyes tell a different story, failing to mask the tempest storming behind them. "You."
"Villain..." Hero's chest must have caved in because they fail to inhale no matter how hard they try. The air around them feels scalding hot, burning its way up their nose and down their throat, watering their eyes and threatening to rip free in harsh sobs.
"You didn't remember," Villain states, seizing Hero's wrists to keep them standing close. "But each time, you chose me over yourself, didn't you?"
It's not truly a question because Villain knows. It's in Hero's power, for god's sake. Taking away others' pain, wounds and injuries, inflicting them on their own body instead. It makes up half of their sacrificial personality, and yet Villain couldn't fathom they could take it this far. It took them eight years of their fucking life and twelve do-overs, but they figured it out. Fucking finally.
"Not this time," when the handcuffs clink shut around their wrists, Hero's knees buckle under them. Power dampeners. They clutch Villain's arms, pleading wordlessly, their vocal cords trembling too hard to make a purposeful sound. Villain shakes their head, unrelenting. They envelop Hero in their arms, and Hero leans into their chest as hot tears break free, spilling out in crashing waves. Villain caresses their hair, not letting go. "Not this time."
"Villain, please," Hero's plea is cut short when a needle pierces their neck. Their vision blurs, the light slowly fading from around them. "Sleep, my love. Just one more night."
***
The sun dances against their eyes, spilling past open curtains and making Hero frown in confusion. They never leave them open - neither does Villain because they know Hero cannot sleep unless it's pitch black in their room. Hero was the happiest person on Earth the first time Villain did that for them, made the effort to remember.
They stretch their arms up, allowing their muscles to snap into place as they yawn, still groggy from too long of a sleep. They peel one eye open and turn to glance at the clock when a sharp jolt of pain runs through the side of their neck. It's when their hand flies up to press over the sore spot that they remember the events of the previous day. With a toscin booming in their ears, they sit up, panting as they watch the ring on their finger.
No.
Please. No.
The room starts spinning at an ungodly speed, with them caged in the very centre of it as the walls seem to close in on them, threatening to crush the roof over their head, burying them under the debris of what their life could have been.
This cannot be happening.
They couldn't have slept through Villain's death. They couldn't.
Not after saving them twelve times. Not after draining the poison from their lover's mouth into their own every damn time.
Hero's mind flashes with years' worth of recollections, all following the same route.
It's them kissing Villain at their first wedding as they cradle their head, sobbing uncontrollably. They made sure to leave a little bit of poison in them that night so Villain wouldn't remember.
Them kissing Villain in the middle of the ceremony before the priest allows that one time when it was the wine at the church that was poisoned.
Them kissing their spouse in the car as tears streamed down Villain's face 'cause that wound was nowhere near fatal. Hero was supposed to be fine, which they were. Villain was not. Hero had to kiss their pain away - that's what they do. Over and over again until their body collapses.
A choked cry escapes their trembling lips, the sound of their laboured breathing filling the empty room. Tearing their gaze from the ring that feels unbearably heavy around their finger, Hero covers their mouth, allowing tears to stream down their face and clutching the sheets when their hand lands on a lump next to them.
"Oh, my god," Hero jerks back, but as they begin to process, the lump moves, turning around with a half-asleep expression plastered on their face.
"'My spouse' would suffice, but as you wish, my love," they mumble, still out of it. Hero squeals as realisation settles in.
"Villain!" They grab Villain's shoulders, shaking them awake with an impossibly wide smile on their tear-stained face. Villain's eyes widen as they take everything in. "Wake up, you idiot, we're alive!"
Villain chuckles at that, smiling at them adoringly before pulling Hero down onto their chest.
"We seriously need to stop saving each other," Hero mumbles into their skin. Villain cannot help the tears of relief that escape them. They will tell Hero they had to murder the mayor in the most slow and deliberate way possible for all of the years of their suffering, making them choke on their own poison. And Hero will not oppose or jail them. In fact, they might even thank them. But that can wait. The whole damn world can wait as they move forward with their life because they... they've waited far too long.
Villain wraps their arms around Hero's form, shaking with happy laughter as they pepper kisses onto their hair until the sun is well over the horizon, marking the beginning of a new day.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Masterlist
A/N: And here it comes, the final. I did not anticipate this story to turn out they way it did but oh well, sometimes they have minds of their own xD I hope you enjoy this and thank you for reading! xo Sunny
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"But now this room is spinning while I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps." | "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Summary: The Captain gets black out drunk at a party and remembers the last time that occurred.
CW: disassociation, unreality, delusion, multiple realities, mention of murders, deaths, the works
Words: 2,552
"Hey, hey, Captain? Captain, are you okay?"
"When did the room start spinning?" You asked.
"Captain?!" Mark looked concerned. His face looked funny all scrunched up like that.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Mark asked, holding up three fingers.
"Uum, eleven?" Your counting skills weren't the best right now. And neither were your eyes. Or anything else.
You lost consciousness before you could register what was happening. You wouldn't have known, but someone caught you before you fell.
…
You woke up. After catching up to the fact that you were now awake, you were in pain. Excruciating pain. The worst migraine ever. Aches all over. Oh and you were in a gurney. That was never good.
"Um hello?" Luckily someone was there with you. He never left your side after all.
"C-captain! I'm sorry I fell asleep…"
He seemed ashamed of himself. "Don't worry Mark. You didn't have to stay in that uncomfortable chair for however long…"
You cleared your throat. "How, how long was I out? I remember the party and the toast with the champagne… poker, and games, and oh my god didn't Damien do a keg stand?! Everything's blurry. I don't quite remember last night and I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps."
"Doctors! Celci! Get in here!" Mark called out the door.
"Um, Captain, your head might be in worse shape than just a hangover… there's no Damien as part of our crew and… there were no poker games last night?"
"You don't know who Damien is? But Maaaaark, he's your friend! How could you not kno-"
Then it hit you. Mark was dead. You remembered his dead body wrapped in that red robe on the floor.
"Nonononono…." You went into a panic, everything around you blurred.
"Celci get in here quick! We have a medical emergency!" Mark called out again.
…
"The Captain's unresponsive," Mark informed Celci.
"How long have they been like this?"
"They woke up just a few minutes ago and they seemed fine! Until they started talking crazy and now it seems they're disassociating or something I don't know!"
"Mark, calm down. Yelling doesn't help right now. What do you mean talking crazy?"
"They were trying to recall the events from last night, but it seems like they got black out drunk or something. They don't remember much… but then they said they remembered Damien doing a keg stand? And something about poker?"
CC couldn't put her finger on it but something about that name struck a chord with her.
"Did they say anything else about this Damien?" CC asked.
"They said I should know him because he's my friend?" Mark said, exasperated. "I don't know about you, but I've never met a Damien in my life. Let alone at last night's crew party."
"Okay. You stay with the Captain, let me see what I can find out."
…
Celci went to the server room. She had no last names and almost no clues, but she'd look anyway.
She typed in 'Damien' and millions of results came up. "Ugh this won't help."
'Damien and Mark' less results came up, but as Celci scrolled through it still seemed useless.
'Damien keg stand' nothing worth looking into popped up.
'Damien Mark party'
Now the results were getting interesting.
"Mayor Damien Whitacare has no comment on the death of former Hollywood star, Mark Iplier. Mark Iplier showed up dead at his mansion last Tuesday during a party with friends. Police have not released any information, but amateur news reporters, Jim and Jim, say they have evidence from the crime scene. The story continues to unfold…"
"Hmmm…" Whitacare where had Celci seen that name before?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was just Mark and the Captain. Mark and a very hungover and confused Captain. Did someone put something in their drink last night? Your behavior had Mark worried.
"You-you-you" your voice quivered as you pointed an accusing finger towards Mark. "You died, you're dead. Am I dead? What's happening?"
"Sshhh, Captain calm down…" Mark tried to soothe you by rubbing your hand.
"Don't touch me!" You screamed, still unsure if what you were seeing was real.
"Captain are you remembering the wormhole incident or something? I know we haven't really talked about it, but I know it must've been awful for you," Mark tried to calm you down.
"Wormhole? What are you talking about?"
"You-you don't remember?" Mark was close to tears.
"W-wormholes don't exist. Are you trying out method acting or something?" You asked, Mark was talking nonsense and he was a talking corpse.
"W-wormholes don't exist?" Now Mark was extremely puzzled. "Captain, that's how we got here… to the new planet."
Suddenly, Mark got an idea. "Captain, what year is it?"
"What year is it? What type of question is…." You thought for a moment. "Well, it's 19-"
"NINETEEN??!" Mark responded. "Captain, it's 2083."
"What?"
~~~
"Ahh, Dorene Whitacare," Celci greeted the colonist at their new residence on the planet.
"And what do I owe the pleasure?" Dorene asks before taking out a plate of cookies. "You can have one if you like dearie."
"Thank you, Ms. Whitacare, but I was wondering if you knew a Mark?"
"Why that's the name of that head engineer isn't it? I don't like him, he always gets my title wrong."
Celci felt a sort of kinship that she couldn't explain with Dorene. It seemed to go further than just shared hatred.
"Well, yes, but do you know any other Marks?"
"Hmm. Good question," says Dorene.
"Or-or a Damien?" Celci asks.
"Now that's a name I haven't heard in quite some time…"
~~~
"Captain, who are you?"
"I'm the DA. I'm not reading scripts with you or improvising or whatever this is Mark. Who are you and please just tell me the truth."
"A district attorney?"
"Yes ever since the mayor promoted me. I don't want to be a part of whatever game or story this is, Actor."
"Actor?" Mark asked.
"You. Because you know you're the actor. Do you have amnesia or something?"
"No but I think you do. I'm not an actor. I'm your head engineer. You're the Captain. Of our ship the Invincible II? Any of this ring a bell?"
"Invincible II? After the first 'Invincible' went down they decided to make another one? Has no one learned from the Titanic?"
"Captain-"
"Would you stop calling me that! I told you I didn't want to be part of your story today, Actor. Go bother someone else."
"Well okay, Cap- I mean District Attorney. I think it's best if you rest for a bit and I'll just be out in the hall."
"Okay Mark."
~~~
"So Mayor Damien Whitacare was your great uncle?" Celci asked.
"Why yes, something like that." Dorene answered.
"Do you know anything about that news story? About the dead actor-"
"Only that he had what was coming to him."
"What do you mean by that?"
"He was playing with powers he couldn't understand. Things from beyond the veil. It manipulated him and ruined everyone close to him."
"Well uh, nice talking with you Dorene, but I have to check on the Captain," Celci clumsily left the conversation, feeling very uncomfortable.
"I'm sure you do," she said.
~~~
Mark and Celci bumped into each other, running away from their subsequent conversations.
"Hey, watch i-" Celci interrupted herself when she realized he came from the Captain's room. "What did they say?"
Mark rubbed his head where they collided before continuing, "that they're a district attorney? And I'm an actor… and that I'm…"
"Dead?" Celci asked.
"How did you know?"
…
"So let me get this straight, over a 100 years ago, some famous actor named Mark died at a party with this Mayor Damien and mysterious District Attorney?" Mark asked.
"And the case was never solved. The police tried to cover it up, blaming this crazy colonel or some blaming a detective who was there that night, but it doesn't add up. Who hired the detective to be at the party and why? Also the District Attorney, the Mayor, and some other guests disappeared that night. The chef, butler, and groundskeeper all told the policemen their stories, but…"
"But?" Mark asked.
"They all said something supernatural happened. They were all speaking nonsense."
"But why does our Captain think they're connected to this DA?"
"I'm not sure. There's a colonist on board who's a descendant of the mayor or something but I don't know."
"Who's a descendant of the Mayor?"
"Dorene Whitacare." CC answered.
~~~
"Hey Captain, are you feeling any better?" Celine asked.
"I told Mark I'm the DA. You can drop the act. I don't know why you of all people would play along with him though."
"Ok DA. And who am I?" She asked.
"You're all acting so weird! You're Celine! The seer? Mark's ex wife? Any of this sound familiar?"
Saying no would be a lie. Some part of Celci felt like she was somehow connected to all of this. She didn't believe in reincarnation and past lives, but… after what she'd seen in the wormhole, she does believe in multiple universes. Perhaps the Captain was remembering a universe so vividly, they were stuck in it mentally.
Maybe if Celci could remind them of the end of this universe when they were inevitably sucked into a wormhole they could break them out of it.
"Right. Right. Well can you tell me what you remember from the party?"
~~~
"Hello, Mrs. Whitacare," Mark greeted.
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not married anymore young man!"
"S-sorry Ms, Ms. Whitacare," Mark corrected.
It may have been the first time she reminded him in this universe, but they both remembered.
"About that… who were you married to before?" Mark asked hesitantly.
"That's none of your business boy!"
"Okay, uh sorry. Do you want to tell me about your great uncle Damien?"
"Here, I baked cookies."
She was avoiding the question, but Mark was still going to take one. "Sure. Thank you. Would you know anything about…" Mark paused for a moment. He was getting nowhere asking about Mark or Damien. He should go to the root of the cause.
"Sorry, I meant to say… what do you think of our Captain?" Mark asked.
"Well I think they've made a lot of mistakes. But they've been through a lot, and they're very strong to have gotten this far."
"Does the Captain remind you of anyone?"
"Why yes they do. Multiple people," Dorene answered.
"And who would that be, Ms. Whitacare?"
"Why, I need to get the cookies out of the oven. You can interrogate me some other time, Mark." Dorene got up and headed towards her kitchen.
"But you already had cookies…"
~~~
"Well, the gang was back together again! There was a toast by Mark himself of course, poker games, a keg stand, probably a fight or two… Honestly, I don't remember much. And I fell asleep around 1:30 am, but…" you said.
"Go on," Celine encouraged.
"Well I woke up the next morning and Mark was dead. His body on the floor. Out of nowhere. The detective turned it into an investigation. Said it wasn't an accident. Everyone started accusing each other. It was chaos. But you know the rest."
"I know the rest?" She asked.
"Because you suddenly showed up. I don't know why… maybe because your lover William hadn't come home? I don't know. But you are the master manipulator. You could turn everyone against me in a second. And then the ritual and the time…"
"What else were you doing in these days after the party?"
"Well I was helping the detective as best I could. But I didn't know who I could believe. My dear old friends or a man of the law or the staff… none of it added up. The colonel's eccentric but he wouldn't… he… William wouldn't…" it was all flooding back to you. The fights, the lightning storm, the gunshots. William shot the detective and then he shot… you."
"I-I I'm dead. He shot me and I fell off the balcony… how am I here?"
"Do you remember what happened next?"
What was happening. Was this another one of Celine's rituals?
"I… I was in the void. With the actor's corpse. And you and Damien… you said everything would be okay… you trapped me." You started to cry. "You walked away with my body and you just left me there!"
Mark walked in at the worst moment.
"And you! You! This is all your fault! It was all your stupid plan for revenge! We were your friends! How could you." You hit your fists against his chest until sobs crashed over you and you just leaned against him.
"Hey, it's going to be okay, Ca- District Attorney. You're no longer trapped. You're on a new planet far, far away from Earth and everyone who hurt you." Mark tried to comfort you.
"Is this another one of your lies?"
You ran out of the room. You ran out of the hospital. But they were right. This didn't look like earth. The plants were different. There were two moons in the sky. A memory of Mark, your head engineer, crossed your mind. He was in front of that glass window, holding a coffee mug and telling you about the new planet you've discovered. The ship… the- the warp core.
You felt the scar on your hand. The warp crystal. You were the Captain not the DA. Was it another universe you remembered? Or a past life? Maybe a little of both…
~~~
Eventually, Mark caught up to you.
"District Attorney?"
"It's alright. I know I'm the Captain now." You sat on a hill admiring the stars. They looked different than on Earth. You wondered if you could name a constellation.
"Do you know what happened?"
"I'm not sure. I was so stuck in this other reality. All the multiverses we went through and lives we've lived… I guess it was bound to happen and scramble my mind eventually."
"Let's hope it doesn't happen again. It was kind of scary," Mark admitted.
"Yeah… do you remember past lives?"
"Yeah. Quite a few. Most I'd rather forget."
"We really screwed stuff up with that wormhole huh?"
"I screwed stuff up," Mark said.
"No. We did. I was the Captain. I was in charge and I…. I played with my crew, the colonists I was supposed to protect, I played with you like toys. Like your lives were nothing more than dust on the wind."
"I built the warp core. I'm the whole reason all this happened in the first place."
"You were trying to fix my mistakes."
"That you didn't make!" Mark argued.
"Because I lost your trust. I lost everyone's trust. I was a poor leader. Now enough dwelling on the past. Let's run this colony as best we can, okay?" You asked.
I have a "dream" but I actually think I went to another dimension or something lol
First, I dream a lot, I remember mostly of my dreams and I know them, I know how they feel when I wake up like "nnngg wtf zzzz". This one didn't matched to anything I dreamed before. I don't do astral travel, I don't have lucid dreams. Maybe are they, maybe are not. Yet the thing was extremely interesting and detailed to just let it be.
Was like a switch, I was sleeping, typical emptiness ko sleep... and then... Peace, the most joyful, overwhelming, heart fiilling peace I ever felt in my entire life. There wasn't a hint of fear, nothing bad, not even confusion, neither a memory, it was as my brain was empty of all kind of experiences.
I was just a bunch of beautiful sparks floating around, I had no body, no parts, no nothing. The sparks were my body, my soul, my mind, my all. I floated softly around, there was no rush, just peace.
I felt like I knew the place, but not a familiarity of "I was there before", way beyond that, was a "I born here, I belong here, me, them, you, all of us". There also was a beautiful feeling of familiarity with others, even when I was not seeing others, I was sure there was others, because is where we all belong.
I floated in what I can say was inside a kaleidoscope, a massive one, a soft one. There wasn't sharp points, no strong lights, there was softness, soft patches of reality, of flowers and clouds, where I could swear I could feel them with my fingers, even when I didn't have fingers of body.
I floated for what my body on earth felt like minutes. Because I was aware of where was my earthly body, I knew I was in bed, I felt the smile on my face. Yet "me" wasn't with my body, was there, floating in the kaleidoscope of realities, in joy and peace. Minutes for me in earth, decades for my self on that plane. Because is what it felt, like if time was a second and a year at the same time, like if time was not longer time, not even a construct, time wasn't longer there. No time, no space, just a "there". Floating as a tiny spark in the kaleidoscope, for decades. A beautiful spark with many tiny sparks around, colorful and colorless, cause they were too many colors at once, it was white and all the colors at the same time.
I floated and I knew that each part of that kaleidoscope was a realm, a reality, a time, a space, a world, from countless worlds. Not in a scifi alien way, more like multiple realities one. All was happening there. I didn't saw anything but I felt it, I knew it, as everyone of us knew it. There was the past and the future and the present, of each reality of the endless realities. Endless living humans, endless deaths, endless births, endless love and suffering, endless laughter, endless dreams and conflict, endless war and peace, all happening together, all there at the reach of my "hand".
I knew what to do, I knew I was free to pick any of them to see, to help, to watch. I knew I will be free to choose where to born again, as soon I end here. Because I see it, each realm exploding there, there is no mystery anymore, all happened already and is happening at the same time.
I pick one, not to exist, hence I still exist here, but my soul can go.
Is a beautiful place, a bunch of ladies reunited around a round table. They have factions that are a mild point between Arab and Oriental, dressed in their beautiful and colorful long clothes, similar to the ethnic traditional hindu style.
They were sitted around the table, cleaning fruits, talking in a language I never heard before. Fruits I never saw before.
In the table, between other things was a beautiful golden feather next a candle, somewhat I knew that it was in honor to her father of one of the young ladies. A deceased father. I felt like I got a order, to move the feather. I did it, the ladies gasped and got closer.
When I did that, I felt like someone out there thought I spent way too much time on that beautiful land. Some kind of very old, very fatherly, very wise and lovingly massive energy just push me gently away, just like as we take and move our cat away of a candle. It felt like that, as if I wasn't supposed to be there for that long, I was going to hurt myself but I didn't knew. That force knew. It, they, it knew it ALL, it was the supreme force of compassion and endless patience.
It felt like a master watching a studen, as the hug of a beloved mother, with the patience and temperance of a hundred monks. It felt like if would smile if I insulted it, or would cover me with a blanket if I had a tantrum. Permissive, gently, quiet. No voice, it spoke with energy. No face, no body, nothing. Was not even "visually" there, it just felt as if it WAS literally everywhere around. As if me and the kaleidoscope of realms was inside it.
Who knew how long my soul spent there in that timeless land, it definitely felt like years, and maybe I wasn't supposed to stay years as I'm still alive. That ancient supreme force just gently shove me away, like "go back to dream, child" and I left in a blink, I get into another random dream, which felt like a normal dream, where I behave as a dream, absurd, pointless, in my brain, confusing and even scary. A dream that is don't even worthy to mention.
And I wake up. Was definitely not a dream, and my heart miss that place, that joy, I feel homesick and sad from a place beyond places. I cry because I'm here and I don't know why I'm here. I have questions that I can't answer and a mix of joy for be able to experience it, and the pain for being pushed away. Maybe that's what a cat feels when we put them down the table. I just have so many questions, and the need to be near that warm, massive ancient kindness that I can't avoid to see as a God-like.
Who knows, maybe was just a dream… or not…
HI!!!! Okay this is a little drabble about ranboo living different lives… if that makes sense?? Like they all connect?? Anyways lol, ignore mistakes for now pls <3
⚠️CONTENT WARNING FOR GORE BTW!!!⚠️
——————
They’ve lived a lot of lives.
And not really lives, more like moments. They can’t really remember the first, it being so long ago.
When it began, they thought they were dreaming, and then they didn’t return, and now here they are.
Drowning in lives and stories, some they return to, others not. They see beginnings and ends, love and death, creation and destruction.
Reoccurring worlds were the worst. Past mistakes staring blankly, punishments for things they didn’t do, but who would believe them? No one has, it’s likely no one ever would if they did tell.
Death was a reoccurring theme.
They’ve felt it, it’s claws digging into their skin, the pain lasting multiple worlds, until it subsides to a dull throb, constantly there, a firm reminder.
It’s happened four times, four of their own deaths that follow like a phantom.
A shot through the heart, saving a life, throwing away one, having someone throw away yours.
They were all unique, all held their own pain. It was supposed to be an ordinary dinner party, an ordinary day being a hero, being a servant, being controlled…
The dinner party, they were just supposed to have a family dinner, who knew their grandfather would have a gun? Who knew that’s when they would first feel Death’s lips, after living for so long, they never thought it possible.
The pain in their chest had practically disappeared when the next happened. Hundreds of worlds, and the ache lived on, but again, a firm reminder of what could happen.
One world they woke up a hero, living the day saving civilians with their quips and webs, until a super villain gets an upper hand, and pierces their gut. They somehow defeat the villain, but end up in a puddle of their own blood, wondering if they died in vain.
Right after this, they woke up in a world where they were an Angel, an obedient servant ready to do the Lord’s work.
And they stayed there. Days and days passing with no change, this world slowly became their only reality.
One day a new Angel joined, and they showed him around. Maybe they become friends, maybe more…
They were banished and thrown down anyways, finally not being alone in their death, they held on tight, feeling a sickening crack from his body before blinding pain went through theirs.
They woke up in a red covered bed, swallowing screams.
The worlds continued after that, their bones ached, their mind ached, they were so tired.
Worlds continued, some just going through a day of school, others a 9-5 job, even a video game character.
This was something they missed, just everyday changing, their past staying their, their deaths staying in the past, it was perfect.
They didn’t have to think.
And then they woke up with a mask on their face, digging into their flesh, mind going blank, different flashes of memory missing.
People to love, people to lose, choices to make, people to put faith in, everything on the line.
This felt different, this world, the door to other worlds…
The blanks in memory got worse, different rooms, but the mask was always there, always digging, sometimes shocking…
Choices they didn’t make.
Friends, people who have been in other worlds being there.
Most people in their different worlds stayed constant if they payed close enough attention, but they were all familiar faces.
They needed to save them.
And they didn’t.
They couldn’t even save themselves.
In the end, with everyone’s bloods on their hands, they begged for it all to end.
Even with the mask they felt blood trickle from their mouth down their throat, begging for them to chose death, for it to end because it meant everything would end.
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The theory of multiple realities has always been mind blowing to me. But I believe in it 100%. Quantum physics has proven this. If you and someone else are manifesting the same thing (i.e. winning a contest, you're interested in the same SP, applied to the same job) you win in your reality and they win in theirs.
Realistically speaking it can be easy to get discouraged. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel. But keep persisting in your desired reality! 💖
It Was You All Along - Chloe Price x Fem!Reader - Life is Strange
Request: can you write a Fem!Reader LIS one shot where chloe had lead reader on about her romantic feelings but reader had moved in next door before max came back and chloe realized she actually likes reader and not max?
A/n: In this, there's several branching and parallel timelines created from Max's powers and Max hops from timeline to timeline, but those timelines still exist, with or without Max being in them after creation.
Chloe had been reluctant when her mother mentioned that someone was finally moving into the house next door. Reluctant because it wasn't Max. She'd checked, you see. She got her hopes up, thinking the Caulfield family had moved back.
Instead, she spotted you helping take some boxes inside.
Joyce had tried to encourage her daughter to take over some sort of welcoming treat to the neighbours, but instead, Chloe was nowhere to be found.
Little did Joyce know, Chloe had snuck out to the Firewalk concert at the Old Mill.
///
It wasn't until Rachel and her were transforming her room that Rachel discovered her window that was about to be covered in an upside down US flag was opposite your window.
Your window with a pride flag covering it.
"Wow..." Rachel remarked, leaving Chloe to raise an eyebrow as she got up to see what Rachel was looking at.
"Huh... never noticed that before." Chloe admitted, frowning at the smirk on Rachel's face.
"Well come on, I want to go meet your neighbours!"
Chloe let out a groan as Joyce asked where they were going, leaving Rachel to explain about the next door neighbours.
"How about you two take over some of these cookies? Since Chloe refused to even welcome them to the neighbourhood when the S/n's first moved in." Joyce suggested, gesturing to the tupperware box of cookies on the counter.
"That's a great idea, Joyce." Rachel smiled, picking up the box as Chloe grumbled under her breath.
///
Neither of the girls were sure who to expect when Rachel pressed the doorbell.
It was only after Rachel explained why they'd come over that they heard footsteps on the stairs.
"Y/n!"
The footsteps paused for a moment before you walked into the kitchen.
"Uh, hello." You awkwardly waved, acknowledging the strangers in your house as you spotted the cookies.
"Y/n, this is Rachel and Joyce's daughter from next door, Chloe. Chloe, Rachel, my daughter, Y/n."
Folding your arms to your chest, your eyes flickered between the grumpy partially blue-haired girl and her friend who gave you a smile as you caught her gaze.
"They noticed the pride flag in your window... you're lucky it was Chloe's window that faces it." You grimaced at the warning glare you received, watching as your family member went out into the garden to mow the lawn.
"Sorry that was so awkward." You chuckled, your hand running up and down the back of your neck as you avoided their eyes.
"So... can we see the room that the pride flag hides from view?" Rachel enquired, leaving you to take a step forwards.
"Sure..."
///
Rachel had been missing since the 22nd of April.
Chloe had enlisted you in helping to find her, she had you running around all over town putting up missing posters and looking in all the places you thought she could have been.
You thought when you first met Chloe and Rachel, that they were dating.
Turns out it was a bit more complicated.
Chloe liked Rachel but Rachel liked to keep her options open. This meant that whenever Rachel was busy, Chloe would turn to you.
She knew you had a crush on her. It was adorable how you'd get flustered and avoid her gaze when she flirted with you. You were wrapped around her finger.
Little did she realise, she was wrapped around yours as well.
///
Chloe thought you were only vaguely aware of who Max was. But you knew more than what she thought, she talked to you when she was drunk or high. Rachel talked to you as well, but you didn't know what was going on with her or who she was seeing when she disappeared.
Because Chloe only thought you vaguely knew of Max, she didn't think you'd react if she decided to ghost you in favour of her childhood friend, or bring Max over to your house.
Oh you reacted, just internally.
The only external display of your emotion that showed was when Chloe decided to tease Max about kissing her. You'd clenched your jaw so roughly that your jawline became more prominent.
You hadn't noticed Max snapping a photo of you in thought until you heard the click of the polaroid camera you recognised from Chloe's room.
"So, what are you two up to? Investigating how Rachel's disappearance is leading to the apocalypse?" You joked, your face falling as you saw the sad look on Chloe's face and the panicked one on Max's.
"Wow. I hit the nail in the head... I thought I just read too much." You replied, trying to brush off reality as Chloe sat up, staring at you.
"Can... can I help?"
Max raised an eyebrow as Chloe stoically nodded, shuffling over so you could sit on the chair with her whilst Max sat on the floor in front of the two of you.
///
Chloe had known since Max kissed her that she wished it was someone else that kissed her instead.
She wished it was you.
So, as she sat on the couch in your room, debating her internal struggles of Max, Rachel and you, you caught her eye.
Or, your jawline did.
She only blinked when Max snapped a photo of you staring into space, leaning against the walls next to your pride flag.
Max said something about the sunlight making the pride flag reflect its colours on your face but Chloe wasn't paying attention to that.
Instead, she watched you figure everything out from a few sentences and facial expressions.
"Can... can I help?"
Chloe was barely able to school her features as she nodded to you, scooting over so you could sit next to her whilst Max sat in front of you both, ready to listen.
///
Never in your wildest dreams did you think an E6 tornado would crash into the little town your family moved to that couple of years ago.
Your family had already decided to head to Seattle for the weekend on Thursday. Knowing that they would be safe, you'd snuck a bag of the family treasures, like photo albums into a bag that you'd given them.
But now, Arcadia Bay looked tiny as you, Chloe and Max stood watching the tornado steamroll it.
"Max... it's time... it's okay, I'm not alone, I have Y/n with me." Chloe whispered, holding Max by the forearms in comfort as the three of you were drenched from the rain.
"Chloe... I'm so, so sorry... I don't want to do this." Max cried, hugging Chloe.
"I know, Max, but we have to, we have to save everyone, that it the alternative timeline you should be in, just like Y/n, said, there's a timeline where Arcadia Bay lives... and you'll make those fuckers pay for what they did to Rachel!" Chloe exclaimed, leaving you to nod.
"Max... if you need me in that other dimension, you'll find me, mention the pride flag in my window... that's all you'll need." You explained, leaving Max to nod as you gave her a sad smile.
"Being together this week. It was the best farewell gift I could have ever hoped for. You're my hero, Max." Chloe replied, glancing at you as you hugged Max first.
"Y/n... Chloe, I'm gonna miss you so much!" Max whimpered into Chloe's shoulder.
"I'll always love you... now get out of here, please! Do it before I freak. And Max Caulfield, don't you forget about me..." Chloe replied, stepping back until she was standing by your side.
"Never." Max affirmed, exchanging looks with you before you felt Chloe wrap her arms around you.
You quickly embraced Chloe, looking up to only see Max was gone.
"Y/n... I... I'm sorry I strung you along for so long... Rachel, she was my angel, but then... then Max came back but all along, all I ever wanted was you, it was you all long, Y/n S/n. I love you." Chloe whimpered, her eyes widening as you raised your hand to brush away the tears that were running down her face with your thumb.
"And... I love you, Chloe Price." You replied, not moving away as Chloe kissed you.
The kiss was salty from your combined tears from watching the town the two of you had lived in be destroyed.
///
"So, first stop, Seattle?" Chloe murmured, catching your eye as you sat in the passenger seat of her truck.
"Yeah... my family left to go up there on Thursday... I snuck some photo albums and mementos into a bag they've got with them. Plus, there's someone we know at university in Seattle." You explained, leaving Chloe to pause, kissing your cheek to erase your smirk.
"Hey, eyes on the road! Anyway, Steph's going to want to see us, especially after... yeah..." You replied, leaving Chloe to nod sadly, eyes flicking to the rear-view mirror, where you'd left Arcadia Bay.
The two of you sat in comfortable silence as Chloe drove towards Seattle, Washington.
💕 I'll try to update them, please excuse any grammar mistakes 💕
Visual Methods
The Estelle Method - First collect a playlist or song that reminds you of your DR and something that you can dance to. It can also be an ambience! (For example a ballroom ambience with a soft melody playing in the back.) Then lay down in a starfish position (or any position that you feel comfortable in). Imagine yourself dancing with someone; it can be your friend, an s/o, a family member, a stranger, your enemy, etc. When the song is done imagine the person taking you to a door/hallway/portal/etc and saying "it's time to go home." Walk through it and say your affirmations until you feel like you're there (though some say to affirm and visualize "falling.") Once you feel like you're there open your eyes. (If you are going with the "falling" expectation then wait until you're done falling, and it's black, to open your eyes.)
Staircase Method - Imagine yourself climbing a staircase. When you arrive at the top there will be a mirror where you look at yourself. Observe that version of yourself for a while and when you're ready look behind you to see any person from your DR. Imagine them asking you "are you ready to go home?" Say "yes" and follow them to a door behind them that goes to your DR. Then go to bed and you should be there when you wake up!
Raven Method - Be sure you're pretty sleepy or halfway tired when using this method. Get a subliminal or playlist ready and then laydown on your back in a starfish position. Slowly count down from 100 while you think of your DR. After you're done counting you can visualize a scene from your DR and then go to bed. You should wake up in your DR!
The Heartbeat Method - (Not recommended for those who have anxiety listening to heartbeats or have misophonia. But you can listen to them if you are 100% it won't trigger any phobias, anxiety, or strong emotions. I can't stop you if you want to despite it <3) Have a heartbeat audio ready and you can place it under your pillow for a more realistic effect. Close your eyes and imagine that you're sleeping on your desired person. When the video is done, imagine that they wake you up then they say "(your name here) it's time to go home." Visualize that they lead you to your rooms door and start affirming as they lead you. Keep affirming until you feel like you're falling. Once you're done falling/land on the ground open your eyes.
Elevator Method - Visualize that you're entering an elevator. Imagine the elevator is going up and try to feel that your energy is going up as well. Once you have reached your floor you can imagine your DR self being in the room you went in. Imagine/visualize your consciousness into theirs and then fall asleep. You should wake up there.
Train Method - Imagine yourself going into a train. (You can play a train ambience with this.) Pick a seat and think about your DR, take as much time as needed, and during this just feel/visualize like the train is moving. When you're ready, imagine that the train has come to a halt and step out of the train and into your DR bedroom (or anywhere in your DR if that makes you comfortable) and affirm that you have shifted. You can imagine that you slept in your DR bedroom if you want, or open your eyes if you believe that you have shifted.
Alice In Wonderland Method - Imagine yourself sitting or leaning against a tree and then you see a sign of your DR (for example a dr friend, your s/o, a pet, etc) and start chasing it. Chase them until you see them jump down a bunny hole. Jump after them and at the bottom you’ll see a table with a key on it. Pick up the key and open the door. On the other side of the door should be your DR. Go in and close the door behind you. You can affirm if you wish or just go to bed (or both!). When you wake up you should be there <3
The Rope Method - Relax your body and meditate beforehand. Imagine an energy around you and really focus on it. Then start visualizing your DR and affirming. When you start to see white or flashing lights, imagine going up a rope that goes to your DR. Once you’ve gotten to the top, imagine there’s a portal and walk through it. It is recommended to imagine your DR self sleeping in the room you just walked into and transfer your consciousness into theirs (by that, imagine that you are now them). Go to sleep and you should wake up in your DR <3.
The Eye Method - Lightly rub your eyes and stop when you start seeing little shapes (and please remember to keep your eyes closed.) Start by repeating your affirmations and imagine that the shapes will form into shapes of your DR (like furniture in a room.) Open your eyes when you feel like you have shifted. It is also recommended that you do this with other methods.
Coin Method - Lay in any position you find comfortable. Visualize that you are “opening your eyes,” getting up, and then walking to the door in your room. Visualize that you’re now opening that door and you walked into a white room. Walk into the whiteness and imagine that there’s a person from your DR in there in front of a new door. Imagine that they are flipping a coin and ask them to flip the coin. (Similar to a bet.) If it lands on heads, you shift. If it lands on tails, you don’t. Imagine that they flip the coin and it lands on heads. Then they lead you to the door and you walk into your DR. You can either open your eyes or fall asleep!
Mirror Method - Get a subliminal ready and find a comfortable position. Close your eyes and imagine you’re in a room with a mirror and face it. In the reflection imagine your DR/WR/TR/etc self. Place your hand on the mirror and observe it and slowly step into the mirror. Once you’re on the other side you’re now your DR self. You should see a hallway with a door at the end and walk to it. You can affirm while you walk or open the door. Open the door and walk into the bright light on the other side of the door and try to “feel” an energy. Continue to affirm and once you feel like you have shifted then open your eyes and you should be there!
Piano Method - Play any subliminal you want and then find a comfortable position. Imagine that you’re in a big room with many people around, and you’re about to take the center of attention. Everyone stops their chatter to focus on you. Walk down the hall and play the piano with any song you decide. Focus on playing the piano and visualize as much as you can, try to use each of your senses if possible. When you finish, take a bow and leave the room to a corridor with a door or doors. Go through any that catches your attention. As soon as you walk through any person of your choosing tells you “welcome home” as you walk through. Try to imagine different scenes as you affirm. Then go to sleep and you should wake up there or open your eyes if you feel like you’ve shifted.
Ceiling Method - Put on any sub of your choosing and find a comfortable position. Try to lay on your back because you need to look at the ceiling for this. Now look at the ceiling, keep your eyes open, and start daydreaming about your DR. If you can, use your senses like smell and hearing, and try adding emotion. Now you can let your mind wander about your CR and take as much time as you want with this. Keep your eyes open and try to unfocus them. While doing that or after that try to imagine that the ceiling moving away from you. Visualize your DR, really anything about it, and affirm to yourself. You can either fall asleep or try to affirm until you feel like you’ve shifted and then open your eyes!
Sunni Method - Play your subliminal of your choice and find a comfortable position. Close your eyes and try to imagine yourself in your DR. Try to ask yourself (or affirm) what you hear, smell, feel, and taste. Try to include every detail. Then visualize a scene in your DR. Repeat the scene over and over until you fall asleep and you should wake up there.
(I think there’s more to this method but I seriously can’t find it and I had to go off of my memory.)
Non-Visual Methods
3,6,9 Method - You can use this method to manifest your shift. First you should write something you want three times (Ex: Shifting). Then write your intention six times (Ex: I shifted, I have shifted, I will shift, etc). Then write the action of what you want to happen (Ex: I have shifted to my desired reality, I am grateful that I have shifted to my desired reality, etc.)
Pillow Method - Write down your affirmations or gather your scripts and place it under your pillow. It is recommended to think, daydream, or visualize your DR if possible before going to bed.
I Am Method - Meditate for around ten minutes or simply do what you find relaxing. Then listen to theta waves, if you want to, and then close your eyes and repeat “I am” over and over. You can say it out loud or in your head. Do this until you feel shifting symptoms and try to resist opening your eyes! After you feel symptoms start affirming you’re in your desired reality and you can say your personal affirmations if you want! You can visualize your DR if you want but it isn’t necessary. Try affirming until you feel like the atmosphere around you has changed. Then you can open your eyes!
