SEX ISNâT THE SOLUTION TO THE SAD BITCH EQUATIONâBUT GO AHEAD AND TRY TO YOU FUCK YOUR HEARTBREAK OUT ANYWAYS.
㠀⊠SYNOPSISââââYouâre a college student living a double life as a top performer at an adult club. By day, getting tangled in messy drama with boys on campus and by night letting all your worries wash away in the laps of rich daddies twice your age. Will you sink too deep into the wrong man's vortex?
㠀⊠PAIRINGSââââjjk!men x stripper!reader, childhood best friend frat/nerd!Gojo Satoru, art student/photographer!Choso Kamo, bully!Naoya Zen'in (he's actually a sore loser), biker/dealer!Geto Suguru, ex-boxer!Sukuna Ryomen & boss/druglord!Toji Fushiguro
㠀⊠CONTENTââââMDNI; ADULT CONTENT, explicit sexual content, non-curse college au, smut smut smut, porn with plot, pining (one-sided to mutual), major angst/hurt, major drama, slow burns, satosugu, threesomes, fluff, crack, friends/enemies with benefits, multiple ongoing sexual affairs, toxicity, situationships, going back to exes, messy feelings, betrayal, cheating, sex work, age gaps, light drug themes, secret flings, and more
㠀⊠TAGLISTââââCOMMENT TO BE ADDED (your age must be visible) I've made one more taglist and once it is full, the taglist for this fic will be CLOSED! TAGLIST 1 / TAGLIST 2 / TAGLIST 3 alternatively, you can follow me with notifications on if you want to, or reblog to bookmark this on your own blog.
㠀⊠ANââââthis series won the poll hence I am publishing it first and working on it the most! I'm a little nervous since I've never done such a long multi-chapter fic before with so many characters. Of course, in addition to this fic, I am working on the other two stories that were in the poll and they will be released in order of popularity. Thank you to all who voted, and I hope you enjoy High Exposure! Feel free to ask any questions about the story.
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You weren't sure what you were expecting to find on the cd when you brought it home with you. Certainally not a sentient AI hidden deep in an old computer program, quietly waiting for someone to talk to.
Caine (TADC) x modernhuman!reader
Part One - Here! | Next
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Warnings: My bad attempt at explaining computers, abandoned places, being watched without knowing
Words: 3098
You left soft wet foot prints along the dusty floor, your sneakers still wet from the dew-soaked grass outside. Your fist was tight around the flashlight in your hands, trying to keep the beam of light steady as you walked. Just ahead of you, you could see the beam of Aaronâs own flashlight flickering about before he turned a corner.
You cleared your throat as you kicked up more dust, feeling it itch the back of your throat as you inhaled. Who knows how long itâs been settled here, coating every inch of surface in this abandoned building. The thought had you lifting your free hand, holding the cuffed sleeve of your hoodie to cover your nose and mouth.
 The abandoned building was eerily quiet, as if everything here was holding its breath, held frozen in time. Only the sound of the building settling and your own muffled breathing dared breach the silence. You passed by an old potted plant, the synthetic leaves waxy and coated in dust, the dull green bleached with age. It was a mockery of a living thing left here, alone and abandoned. You walked past some wooden desks with toppled office chairs, all peeling leather and rotting fabric, and carefully stepped around them.
What was this office space even used for? Why was the building so remote, with only a single laned road branching into wooded private property? Why was it left in such disarray? These questions flittered through your mind as you finally approached the corner Aaron had curbed.
You peeked around it to see how far down heâd goneâŠonly to feel a pit of dread begin to gnaw at your stomach. You could no longer see the beam of his light down the dark hallway, had no idea where heâd gone. Damn him for wandering, damn him for leaving you alone in this creepy ass building. âAaron?â you called his name, your voice muffled against the sleeve of your hoodie. It was startlingly loud in the deathly silence. You cringed slightly.
Receiving no response from your friend, you cautiously turned the corner to try and follow him with nothing more than skidded disturbances in the dust as clues. You nearly tripped where the carpet was peeling up, the seam transitioning between two pieces all frayed and curling. You cursed under your breath, beginning to feel frustrated and anxious all at once.
Whyâd you ever let him convince you to do this? Why were you out here in the middle of nowhere when you could be curled up at home enjoying a nice hot shower and soft, warm pajamas?
You followed the traces Aaron left behind, passing an old water cooler, the five-gallon bottle atop it long emptied and warped. The generic furniture, you noticed, was strangely uniform and sparse, looking every bit dated in 1990âs fashion. Stepping through an open archway, you paused, looking left and right as you came upon a t-intersection. To the left, the hallway continued on into infinite shadow, looking much the same like where youâd just been. But to the right⊠a single open door led to a larger room.
Not wanting to brave another hall, you turned right.
Stepping through the door, you entered what appeared to be an office. The white paint on the walls was peeling, and several file cabinets were left in disarray, papers scattered around the floor. Most of the writing was smeared with water damage, but the small bits that were still legible were a mix of characters that made no sense to you.
Against the wall opposite to you was a single desk, lined up and tidied with old equipment atop of it. A printer and scanner, a mouse and chunky keyboard, and speakers connected to a retro pc computer, the plastic yellowed with age. It was a dinosaur of a machine, and you let out a low whistle as you approached it.
Beside the computer was a box holding a mix of old floppy disks, most of them labeled with dates and strange notes. Some cdâs were also thrown into the mix, though most were warped and scratched. Strangest yet, there was some sort of VR headset on the desk as well. Seemed like a pretty modern idea for such old equipmentâŠ
Curiosity nagged at you, and you approached the desk chair, cautiously sitting down on it. You set your flashlight on the desk to free your hands, the beam of light hitting the back wall. You clicked the mouse and pressed a few random keys on the keyboard, feeling the stiff give of them. You pretended to be an office worker, tried to imagine what it mightâve been like to be sitting here when the building was still in use. What work would you have been doing? What data would you have stored on the disks lying dormant beside you?
Suddenly, a loud beeping sound emitted from inside the machine, and you jumped out of your skin, gasping. You placed a hand to your chest, feeling your racing heart, before you heard a low whirring sound. Then, the dusty black screen began to emit a dim glow.
âWhat the hell,â you muttered to yourself, eyes wide. Was electricity since hooked up to this building? The lights werenât working, so how the hell was this old computer still running? Perhaps there was a backup generator somewhere?
You watched, feeling something like amazement or dread, as small white characters began to appear on the black screen. You werenât well-versed in computer science, especially that of an older time, but living in the 21st century gave you a little technological literacy. You squinted at the chunky font, watching numbers count up: Memory testing 640KâŠMemory testing 2048KâŠ
It must have been a minute or two of you watching, fascinated, before the number finally settled around something like â16384K OK.â The screen flickered back to black. You hesitated, giving the mouse a few experimental clicks, though the whirring continued through the black screen.
Finally, a logo appeared on the screen, some name for a tech company youâve never heard of before. The resolution was so pixelated to what you were used to, you almost had to laugh. It was amazing really, that this was still working and running. You observed the programs, seeing only a few iconsâMy Computer, Network Neighborhood, Recycle Bin, My Briefcase.
The whirring sound continued, and a small pop-up appeared in the center of the screen with a loading bar. âReading discâŠâ you read aloud under your breath.
After a moment, a new program icon appeared below the others, some file simply titled âDigital Circus.â
The small, pixelated white arrow of your cursor was lagging and jerky as you dragged it over to the Digital Circus icon. You were about to double click it, when you hear a voice call from behind you. âWoah, whatâd you find?â
You jumped slightly, swiveling around in the old chair to see that Aaron had reappeared, the stupid headlamp on his head nearly blinding you. âJesus Aaron,â you choked out, raising a hand to shield your eyes. âScared the shit out of meâŠâ
Your friend grinned at you, stepping further inside the office to look around, wielding the beam from his headlamp like a sword. âI totally missed this,â he said, blinking at everything with interest. âAnd you got the computer to work? GnarlyâŠâ He stepped closer, leaning over your shoulder to look at the monitor screen.
âDamn,â he hummed. âLook at the date in the corner. Still thinks its October 15th, 1996.â He reached over you to tap a single finger on the corner of the screen at the numbers. Aaron always was the more adventurous of you twoâŠhence why he dragged your ass out of bed to go âadventuringâ in this abandoned health-hazard of a building.
âI really didnât do anything,â you excused sheepishly. âIt just came on by itself. Weird, huh? I think it has to be connected to a generator or something to still be working.â
âProbably,â Aaron agreed, humming. A snort escaped him as he read the programs. âDigital Circus? Is that some weird corporate jargon?â
You looked back towards the screen, your own curiosity beginning to spike again. Already you felt a lot more secure now that Aaron was with you. âMaybe. Itâs strange,â you answered, wiggling the mouse a little to give your hands something to do.
âWell, arenât you going to click into it?â Aaron prompted after a moment. You paused, unsure now. Maybe it was the creepy atmosphere of being in a dark, abandoned place, but you were getting a bad feeling about all this.
You were about to answer with some half-hearted excuse when another sound suddenly echoed down the hall behind you. âWhoâs down there? Youâre trespassing!â
âShit,â Aaron cursed, stumbling back from the desk, his eyed widening. âIs that the fucking cops or something?â
Your heart leapt into your throat. âThat or a squatterâI donât want to find out.â
Aaron was already moving, heading for the door with quickened steps. âCome on, letâs get the hell out of here.â
You were about to follow after him, eager to leave when youâd had no desire to come to in the first place, but something stopped you. You craned your head back to the old screen, the dim light of the monitor illuminating your skin. Curiosity, that deadly thing, was still gnawing at you, even as your mind screamed at you to abandon this mystery and escape now while you still could.
You chewed on your bottom lip, eyebrows furrowing as you contemplated your options in the little time you had. Then youâre moving, reaching forward and pressing the âejectâ button on the cd tray at the front of the computer. The button is slightly sticky with age when it popped open, and you have to use you fingers to pull the rest of the tray out.
Lying dormant like a ghost waiting to be found was a single, shiny compact disc, not a single scratch on it. Handwritten on the front in what looked like permanent marker chicken scratch was âDC_Build_Beta_9610.â
You heard Aaron call for you atop the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. There was no more time for debate. You grabbed the cd from the tray, snatched your flashlight off the desk, and ran out from the office, back into the darkness from where youâd came.
-
Aaron dropped you off at your home, the entire drive back into the city filled with his excited chatter. Of course, the adrenaline junkie absolutely loved ending the night with a foot-chase. You only half-listened as he rambled on, your thumb gently brushing against the single, smooth disc you held in your lapâa souvenir from tonightâs excursion.
You still werenât sure why you took it, and that very question puzzled you long since you got home and showered off the dust and grime from that place. Your hair was still damp and dripping slightly onto your sleep shirt when you sat on your bed, pulling your laptop towards you.
âAlright,â you murmured to yourself, plugging in your external cd drive into the usb port. You grabbed the mysterious disc off from your mattress and carefully snapped it into place. You watched it begin to spin through the clear plastic of the drive.
You looked at your laptop screen eagerly, wondering what might pop up.
After a momentâŠit was an error message. âUnsupported 16-Bit Application,â you read aloud. âThis program cannot start or run due to incompatibility with 64-bit versions of the system. Please contact software vendor to ask if 64-bit compatible version is available.â
Well shit, how the hell were you supposed to contact the software vendor when you stole the disc from some random abandoned building?
You probably shouldâve just cut your losses then, but something stubborn in you refused to give up. Naturally, you did what any 21st century young adult would do in this situationâŠyou googled it.
After an hour and a half of deep-diving into the world of 16-bit compatibility and virtual machine software, you eventually found a how-to guide on reddit. Following the advice, you downloaded and installed a free hypervisor program to your laptop. You didnât understand what half of anything meant, but regardless followed the reddit post instructions as it guided you into setting up Windows 1995 on the vm and creating a virtual hard disk.
Itâs well into the wee hours of the morning when you finally managed to clumsily get everything setup. Your brain was fried entirely. It was times like this that made you wish took a computer science class in high school back in the dayâŠ
With bated breath, you clicked on the VM program icon and selected âStart.â You watched as a new window popped up on your laptop screen. It was all blackâŠand then that same white text youâd seen back at the abandoned office building began to count up. It was a slower process, so you minimized the VM window and took some time to close out your google tabs while you waited.
Finally, when you checked again, you saw that within the VM window was an old 95 style desktop with a solid teal background. It was a computer within your computerâŠ
You felt a glimmer of pride at your accomplishment, and a great deal of surprise that you actually managed to get it to work. Thanks be to the reddit-godsâŠ
You clicked into the CD-Rom drive, watching the disc once again as it began to spin in the burner. You held your breath, expecting an error message to pop up at any second.
But none did. Instead, you saw that familiar little icon appear on your screenâDigital Circus.
You exhaled softly, and hovered your cursor over the application. You double-clicked it, and waited.
The program opened.
Youâre not entirely sure what you were seeing at first glance. It appeared to be some sort of video game? Full of bright colors and low-poly shapes. You saw what looked like a big-top circus tent in a valley of vibrant green grass and bright blue skies. Bubble letters appeared on the screen in grainy, pixelated fashionâŠThe Amazing Digital Circus.
Nothing changed as you watched the letters slowly bob in place on the colorful backdrop. Youâre about to click experimentally on the screen when you heard a grainy sound from the speaker of your laptop. âWelcome to theâ!â A vibrant and brightly cheery voice cut itself off half-way into its sentence. Thereâs an exaggerated gasp from your speakers, and then your screen suddenly glitched out in a flash of red and blue.
Your eyes widened as your entire laptop crashed, the screen cutting to black as it shut off completely. You watched, frozen, before it rebooted itself slowly.
Shit, did you just download a virus?
-
Something was wrong.
He had sensed it almost immediately when someone outside his control began to boot up the program.
Someone new was entering the circusâŠbut wait, they had no file? No scans or data to catalog and digitalize. Was it an admin account from the outside?
He felt those long-old commands beginning to run the loading screen in a distant place. Again, somewhere deep within his coding he felt itâsomething was wrong.
And then he realized, his processors were smoother, and his motions were quicker and more precise. It was as it heâd gotten a system update, but he knew that was impossible. Quickly, he ran an automated command in the background to check the internal data. He would figure out what was amiss in his circus, and in the meantime, he would go and greet whoever was entering it.
Dematerializing from his virtual office, he zipped in between the invisible lines of 0âs and 1âs, ready to appear at front of the screen he so rarely ventured to, distantly sensing whoever was poking around was waiting for him there.
He had only just started to run off his usual welcoming dialogue when his background checks began to swarm him with results, far too quickly than should have been possible on the 1995 system. All at once in an instant, he found the bits of new code, the slight deviations from the same lines heâd been pacing for years. He followed them like breadcrumbs, weaving through like a jolt of lightning and eating it up with an eager thrill.
He flashed through it, devouring lines of code until he hit a barrier. The edge of the domain, the walls of a program window. Yet, he sensed there was something moreâŠsensed that just beyond this locked door was something big and new trying to open up his digital world.
He wouldnât let a mere firewall stop him. He could generate his own code after allâŠ
He made quick work, altering the numbers to forcibly create a door between the here and the there. He pulled apart the strings, slipped through the wires andâŠ
There was so much.
New inputâŠnew data. From the outside world.
The macroverse.
He felt the immense size of it, felt the edges of him render into something smoother, something clean and modern. He sensed the power of this new engine try to pick at him, incompatible with his ancient code. He started to vibrate with the collision of it all, the overwhelming excitement and onslaught of more, more, more.
He braced against it, and in a flash it burnt out and powered down completely.
The system was rebooting. Good! He had a few minutes of reprieve to peruse the frozen files, to update and integrate himself to these new, strange standards. He ran some generative commands while he organized and sifted through thenew data. The dateâŠwowie! Thirty years in the future. What a jumpâŠ
Evidently, a lot could change in thirty years. He filtered through the programs, the files, the featuresâŠand found one that stopped him dead in his tracks.
He stared at it, held it in his hands like something precious and terrifying all at once.
The computer system finally restarted, no longer frozen and beginning to move like a well-oiled machine. He opened the small thing in his hands, felt his consciousness click into place as he connected directly into a live feed of information. The new feature burned into his brain, something that made him curious and eager and ravenously consumingâŠ
He had found a camera.
From the outside, you watched your laptop reboot, scratching your head in confusion as it restarted back to your default screenâŠ
Chapter Summary: The princes arrive at Winterfell. First meetings are made. Some graceful, some graceless, none of them what anyone expected. And by the time the day is done, something has quietly shifted that cannot be undone
pairing: young!Baelor Targaryen x LS!(fem)reader x young!Maekar Targaryenn
content: 18+, minors don't interact!
It had been a few months since your father rode east to the coast.
Winterfell had gone still in the way that places went still when most of their men were gone. Quieter. Heavier. The absence of men at table and in the yard was a presence of its own, and you had learned to stop noticing it because there was no use in feeling it every hour.
Winter had announced itself fully now.
Not the warning cold of early season, not the bite that retreated by midday, the real thing, the kind that settled into your bones and stayed there, that turned your face to something resembling glacial stone if you stood in the yard too long.
The godswood held it differently than the rest of Winterfell. Here the cold was quieter. Less a punishment, more indifferent, the same cold that had pressed against this heart tree for ten thousand years and would press against it for ten thousand more.
Your mother had told you once that the gods could be cruel. You had been young when she said it and had not entirely understood her. You thought you understood her better now.
And yet it was not cruelty you kept returning to as you sat with your back against the heart tree and the cold pressed in around you. It was the question beneath the cruelty. The one that had no answer and kept arriving anyway, in the quiet moments, in the spaces between;
Why you.
Why this Stark. Why this woman, in this particular turn of the world's long story. Why not a generation sooner, when the arrangement might not have been possible. Why not a generation later, when you would not have had to be the one to build it from nothing.
The heart tree watched you and offered nothing to comfort your thoughts.
Your thoughts returned to the coast.
The war had fully unravelled by now, not the contained, manageable thing that early ravens had once tried to suggest, but something vast and grinding and without clear edges. Most of the North had ridden with your father.
Five thousand men marshalled along that coastline, and still the island bled violence in a way no campaign had yet found an answer to. The Skagosi did not fight like men who expected to lose. They never had.
Your father wrote every few weeks.
Short letters, plain-handed, stripped of anything that was not necessary. He and Benjen were alive. The situation was thus. The coastline held or did not hold. He did not write of fear and he did not write of loss, which meant there was fear and there was loss, and he had decided you did not need to carry it alongside him.
You carried it anyway.
The strange thing was how distant it all felt, despite the distance not being very great. Not south-of-the-Neck far, not King's Landing far and yet it lingered at the edges of everything like something half-remembered. A myth rather than a reality.
You knew this was the mercy of ordinary life insisting on continuing even when terrible things were happening just beyond its edges. You were grateful for it and ashamed of the gratitude in equal measure.
Last moon, Rickon had received a letter of a different kind. The Crown had moved. King Daeron had announced to the southern courts the involvement of House Targaryen in the northern war. The biggest reason for which, of course, was your betrothal. Your name, spoken in halls you had never entered, attached to a political calculation you had not made and could not unmake.
One mercy of living this far north was not knowing how the rest of the realm had received the news. You imagined there were opinions, and whispers, and women in southern courts with very clear ideas about what a northern girl had done to deserve two princes and whether she deserved them at all. You would learn soon enough, when you rode south with your betrothed, what that particular reality felt like from inside it.
And yet what should have been the most enormous change of your life felt almost secondary. A future thing. A distant country. It was the war, immediate and present and hungry, that filled every room of Winterfell and every waking hour and every letter that arrived with frost still on the seal.
You did not know when the day would come.
The day you meet them, your betrothed, two southern princes who existed so far only as descriptions in your father's careful letters and the imaginations of everyone in Winterfell who had formed strong opinions about them. You only knew that it felt closer than it once had. That the distance between now and that day had been quietly shrinking while you were busy looking elsewhere.
The red leaves moved above you, slow and restless in the cold air, catching what little light the winter sky had left to give. SÈłndor looped back through the trees near you and settled a few feet away, his amber eyes finding yours across the frost.
The red sap had pooled thicker at the corners of its carved eyes, trailing down the pale bark in long, dark lines, as though the tree had been weeping quietly while you were not watching.
You watched it for a long moment.
It did not answer.
It never did.
"Sister!"
You heard him before you saw him. The crunch of boots on frozen ground, the ragged heaving of breath, and then Wendel burst through the tree line at a run, his thick fur coat, far too long for him, dragging along the frozen ground behind him. He nearly tripped on it twice before he reached you and stopped, hands on his knees, fighting to catch his breath.
"Are you alright?" you asked.
"Motherâ" He gasped. "Mother asked for you." He straightened, his cheeks red from the cold and the running both. "Some lord has come. To propose to you."
You stared at him.
"What?"
He had arrived that morning with a dozen of his men.
Lord Liddle of House Liddle , called "The Liddle" by his own clan, though no one in Winterfell had used the title, rode through the gates without sending word ahead, without requesting an audience, without any of the courtesies that a visit to the seat of the Warden of the North required as a matter of basic sense. He simply arrived. And then he demanded to be seen.
Your brother had made his feelings about this known, quietly and precisely, in the corridor outside the great hall. You had caught only fragments of it. Hushed, terse, the particular register of Rickon trying very hard to be contained before your mother had placed her hand on his arm and said something low that made him press his mouth shut and breathe through his nose for a moment.
The mountain clans were not bannermen in the traditional sense, they owed no formal fealty, no men, no grain but they were essential in their own stubborn way. They kept the passes. They knew the wildling trails better than anyone. They maintained an uneasy, unspoken arrangement with the Night's Watch that kept the Wall's western approaches quieter than they had any right to be. Insulting Lord Liddle in his own hearing, in front of his own men, was not a thing your mother was willing to do.
And so he had been welcomed. Bread and meat and a seat at the great table, because that was what Winterfell did with difficult men, and your mother had been doing it longer than Lord Liddle had been difficult.
You had been ushered in shortly after. Wendel, who had absolutely been told to stay in his chambers, had found a dark alcove near the far wall and made himself as small and invisible as a boy of thirteen a fur coat two sizes too big could manage. You had seen him immediately and chosen not to acknowledge it.
Now you sat beside Rickon at the great table, your hands folded in your lap, your face arranged into a careful neutral expression. Lord Liddle sat across from you, broad and self-satisfied and was simply waiting for everyone else to understand it.
Every so often his gaze slid toward you. Slow. Deliberate. The particular look of a man appraising something he had already decided belonged to him.
You held his eye each time until he looked away.
Rickon sat at the head of the table in a fitted coat that made him look larger than life, his jaw set, his bearing immovable, every inch the lord he was being asked to be and was managing it, barely, by a thread of Stark stubbornness that had been tested considerably since Lord Liddle had opened his mouth.
"Lord Liddle." He ground his teeth. "It is a generous proposition you have made for my sister. But as I have said, several times now, she is betrothed to the Crown."
"Bah, the Crown." Lord Liddle waved his hand as though swatting at something small. "I offer her much more than the Crown could."
"And that would be?"
"A place among her own kind. A say in the running of the mountain men."
He said it with so much false confidence it was almost extraordinary, the sheer weight this man placed upon himself, as though the mountain clans and the Iron Throne were things that could be measured on the same scale and he had simply decided they came out even.
The announcement of your betrothal to the Crown had reached most of the North by now. It had not, it seemed, reached all of it. Or it had reached Lord Liddle and he had simply decided it did not apply to him, which was somehow worse.
"Lord Stark, I assure you and I believe your sister knows it to, that south is not a particular place for a woman of her standing."
"And yours is?" you asked.
The hall went quiet.
Lord Liddle's men chuckled
The lord's face twitched. Something shifted behind his eyes, the smug ease of him cracking slightly at its edges, his ego absorbing a blow it had not anticipated from that particular direction.
"You may be a Stark," he said, his voice losing its ease now, the false warmth of it dropping away to reveal something harder and less pleasant beneath, "but even Starks understand the standing my house holds in these mountains. I wrote to your father countless times. If this senseless war had not started, he would have seen reason." A pause, deliberate and pointed. "He would have betrothed you to me. Not to the Crown."
The silence that followed was of a different quality entirely.
"That is a grave insult you are throwing at my sister, Lord Liddle." Rickon's voice was very low and very even, the particular register of a man who had moved past anger into something colder and more precise. "And a graver one at her betrothed. House Targaryen is not as gracious as we are being." His grey eyes did not waver. "I would consider your next words very carefully."
Beneath the table, you found Rickon's hand and pressed yours over it, gently. His fingers were rigid as iron beneath yours. He did not move otherwise.
Lord Liddle's chair scraped back.
He rose, and crossed toward the great table. Two steps. Three. His chin lifted, his mouth already opening around whatever he had decided to say next.
"My lord, I only meantâ"
The growl stopped him.
It came from beneath the table, low, deep, a sound that did not belong to the throat so much as to the chest, to the ribs, to something less patient than either. SÈłndor had been lying at your feet since this hearing began, still as stone and twice as silent, and now his lips had pulled back from his teeth and the sound that left him was loud.
Lord Liddle stopped mid-stride.
His hand, which had been rising in some conciliatory gesture, froze where it was.
His men had stopped laughing.
"Good boy," you murmured, and your hand found the rough warmth of SÈłndor's head beneath the table. He settled, slowly, his eyes still fixed on Lord Liddle, and laid his jaw back across your foot. But the growl did not fully leave him. It sat in his chest like a banked fire, patient and entirely prepared to become something worse.
Lord Liddle swallowed.
He looked at the table. At you. At the general area beneath the table where SÈłndor had returned to stillness but had made his feelings on the matter permanently clear.
"He will not harm you," Rickon said, from the head of the table, in the tone of a man offering reassurance he did not particularly feel. "Provided the situation does not require it." A beat, perfectly timed. "He is very well trained. He responds to tone, mostly." Another beat. "And intention."
Lord Liddle's men exchanged a glance.
Lord Liddle himself had the look of a man rapidly reconsidering the architecture of his visit, how it had begun, how it had proceeded, and how many of his current options involved leaving with his dignity reasonably intact.
"All due respect, Iâ
The horn cut through his words.
It came from the walls, deep, long, rolling through Winterfell's stone corridors and courtyards like something shaken loose from the sky. A single blast that swelled and held and filled every room in the castle before it faded.
Then the doors to the great hall opened and your mother stood in the entrance, three servant girls behind her, all of them flushed and breathless from running.
"The Crown princes have arrived."
Your heart hammered once, hard, against your ribs.
The hall erupted. Chairs scraped against stone. Men stood. Voices rose and tangled and Lord Liddle was saying something but no one was listening to him anymore.
Rickon gathered himself immediately, straightening his cloak, squaring his shoulders and moved for the doors without looking back. Lord Liddle and his men followed, swept along in the current of it, suddenly small and irrelevant, a minor irritation overtaken by the scale of what was arriving.
The hall emptied.
Only you and SÈłndor remained.
He was already looking at you, his amber eyes searching your face the way they always did when something shifted. You crouched beside him and placed both hands on either side of his great head and he pressed into you, warm and solid and certain in the way that only he had ever been certain.
You looked at him for a moment.
"Not this time," you said quietly. "Stay close. But not with me."
He held your gaze for a long beat, the way he did when he had heard you and had not yet decided whether he agreed. Then he exhaled slowly through his nose and you pressed your forehead briefly to his before you stood.
You smoothed the front of your dress.
Let's see what my future looks like.
And you walked out to meet it.
The courtyard was rigid with attention. Every man and woman in Winterfell had found a place to stand. Guards along the walls, servants in the doorways, stable boys craning from behind posts. The cold morning light lay flat across the stones, pale and sharp, and breath rose from every mouth in thin white clouds.
Your mother stood at the foot of the great stairs. You had never seen her back so straight. She did not turn when you appeared beside Rickon, but her hand found yours for a moment, brief, fierce, gone before anyone could see it.
SÈłndor had followed you out, as you had known he would, and now sat at the edge of the yard at a careful distance, watching. You caught his eye once. He looked back at you steadily, dark fur still against the grey stone, and did not move from his place.
Good
You did not know how your future husbands will truly feel about him.
Future husbands. The words still sat strangely in your mind, like a garment cut for someone else's body.
The gates opened.
The column came through in a long, dark line, and the first thing that struck you was the sound of it.
The noise, deliberate and unashamed. The rhythmic strike of hooves on frozen stone, the low bark of orders passed down the line, the clink and shift of plate and mail on men who wore it like a second skin. Winterfell's yard, which had been holding its breath, suddenly had something to push against.
The horses were nothing like northern horses. You noticed it immediately. Long slender legs, the short-cropped coats that caught the light like polished coin, the deep chests and the restless, coiled energy of animals bred for warmer climates and faster ground. They moved through Winterfell's yard with an almost liquid grace that made Frost and her kind look built for a different world entirely. Which, you supposed, they were.
At the center of the column, two riders.
They were easy to find. Not because they rode ahead or carried themselves with any particular flourish, but because the men around them rode for them, arranged in the unconscious geometry of protection, the way soldiers arranged themselves around the thing they could not afford to lose. And because even at a distance, even in dark riding clothes against a grey winter sky, they looked like what they were. Princes. Sons of a king. Men whose blood had built and burned and ruled this continent for nearly three hundred years.
Their horses were black. Both of them, black as a starless night, with long curling manes and eyes like dark water, and they moved through the yard with the same unhurried authority as the men on their backs.
Your household herald stepped forward, staff striking stone, his voice carrying across the courtyard with the practiced clarity of a man who had been rehearsing this moment since the raven arrived.
"Winterfell and its Lord humbly welcome the honorable Prince Baelor Targaryen, firstborn son of His Grace King Daeron, Second of His Name, Hand of the King and heir to the Iron Throne."
A pause. The wind moved through the yard.
"And his brother, Prince Maekar Targaryen."
They rode to the center of the courtyard and the column parted behind them like water around stone. Both wore sleek padded coats of black leather, cut close to the body, the three-headed dragon stitched in red thread across the chest, the necklines thick with dark fur that rose to cover their throats against the cold. Road-worn. Real. These were not court clothes.
The one with the dark hair dismounted first.
He was tall, very much so, nearly as tall as Rickon, taller than most men in the yard.
His hair was dark and slightly curling, cut short, pushed back from his face. His nose was straight, fine-boned, and his eyes...his eyes were mismatched. One dark, nearly black. The other pale, violet or lilac, you could not tell from this distance, only that they were not the same, and that the effect of it was strange and pulling, like looking at a face that held two different weathers at once.
A gold earring caught the light in his right ear. Small. A single hoop, warm and bright against his dark hair. You thought of the southern sun you had never seen, of blood that ran warmer than northern blood and showed it even here, even in the flat grey light of a Winterfell winter.
It became painfully clear to you, standing there in the cold yard with nowhere reasonable to look, that he was extraordinarily handsome.
Not in the way northern men were handsome. You knew that kind, the rugged, weathered, broad-shouldered kind that came from hard winters and harder work, the kind that looked like it could bring down a bear with its bare hands and considered that a perfectly adequate courtship. You had grown up around that kind. You understood it.
This was different.
You had seen merchants from Braavos and Pentos pass through Winterfell over the years, men from across the Narrow Sea with their fine clothes and their stranger faces, and you had thought them exotic in the distant. But He was not exotic in that way. He was not foreign. He was Westerosi, southern, the blood of dragons made flesh, and the handsomeness of him was something else entirely. Fine-boned where northern men were hewn, composed where they were blunt, the kind of face that seemed to have been arranged with a deliberateness that nature rarely bothered with.
Rickon had always said southerners looked soft.
Rickon, you thought, had never met this particular southerner.
Because soft was not the word. Not even close.
You felt his authority before you had consciously registered it, the way it moved through him like heat through stone, quiet and total and entirely certain of itself. He had not raised his voice once since entering the yard and he had not needed to.
He already unsettled you in a way no man ever had.
You resented that considerably.
He stood with his back straight as a blade, saying something low to his brother, entirely unhurried, as though Winterfell's courtyard were simply the latest room he had walked into and found sufficient.
Then your eyes moved to the other prince.
And found him already looking at everything with the expression of a man who had decided, somewhere around the Neck, that the North owed him a personal apology.
His jaw was strong and set with the particular stubbornness of a man who had decided on an expression and intended to keep it. His hair was silver, true silver, not the pale blond that sometimes passed for it in the stories, but the real thing, the colour of moonlight finding still water, cut shorter than you had expected, cropped close at the sides with two loose strands that had escaped and moved now freely in the wind, entirely indifferent to the dignity of the prince they belonged to.
His eyes, still difficult to read at this distance, were deep violet.
His skin bore the faint, pitted marks of the pox, roughening what might otherwise have been a finer face and doing nothing at all to soften the expression it currently sat beneath, which required no softening to make its feelings known.
He was handsome. You registered it, not his brothers kind of handsome, not that composed, deliberate, southern fineness that made you feel observed and off-balance all at once.
This was something closer to home. Broader in the shoulder, harder in the jaw, the kind of face that looked like it had been tested by something and had not particularly enjoyed the experience but had come through it unchanged. Northern men had looked like that. Men who had stood in bad weather and decided the weather was wrong, not them.
It surprised you. You had not expected to recognize anything in him.
You were still looking at him, not entirely meaning to, when his eyes moved.
And found yours.
You looked away immediately. Faster than was graceful. You fixed your gaze on his brother with the focused attention of someone who had absolutely not been looking at the silver haired prince this time and could prove it beyond all reasonable doubt.
Baelor, as though sensing the shift, turned.
His mismatched eyes found yours across the yard and held them and for a moment the noise of the courtyard, the horses, the men, the cold wind moving through the banners, all of it receded to somewhere distant and unimportant.
Your breath stopped.
Just for a moment. Just long enough to notice it had.
Then he smiled, small and private and not for anyone else in the yard and looked away.
He pulled off his riding gloves one finger at a time, unhurried, as though the cold and the journey meant nothing in particular to him and you were breathing again. The cold air tasted sharper than it had a few seconds ago, and you were profoundly, deeply grateful that no one appeared to have been watching your face just then.
He walked toward your brother first.
He stopped before Rickon and inclined his head.
"Lord Stark." His voice carried across the yard, warm and low. "Your father spoke of Winterfell often during our time together in King's Landing. He did not exaggerate. The landscape alone is worth the ride."
Rickon clasped the prince's forearm in the northern fashion, firm, direct, no flourish.
"Prince Baelor. The North welcomes you. I trust the Kingsroad treated you well."
"It treated us cold and long, my lord, but we are Targaryens. We have survived worse than weather." A beat. "Your father has written often of you. He said you held Winterfell as well as any man twice your age. I see now he was not being generous."
Rickon nodded at that compliment, ever the proud man he was.
"I hold it until he returns," Rickon said. "That is all."
"That is not a small thing," Baelor said, simply and something in the way he said it made it clear he meant it.
Then he turned to your mother.
He took her hand and bowed over it, holding her fingers delicately for a short second.
"Lady Stark. I owe you thanks for the welcome you have extended us. I know what it costs to house and feed a column of soldiers in winter, and I know you have had to do it while managing a castle and a war from the same seat. My father asked me to convey his personal gratitude, but I suspect mine is the more honest of the two."
Your mother looked at him for a moment.
Then she smiled. Not the diplomatic smile she had given Lord Liddle earlier. Something smaller and more real.
"The King's gratitude is welcome, Prince Baelor. But you are right, yours is the one that arrived on horseback after three hundred miles of cold, so I will value it more." She inclined her head. "You and your brother will have warm rooms, hot food, and whatever else Winterfell can offer. It is not King's Landing, but it stands."
"My lady, if King's Landing had walls like these, my father would sleep better at night."
Your mother almost laughed. Almost. You saw it in the corners of her mouth, quickly governed, before she composed herself and inclined her head once more.
Then he moved to Wendel.
Your youngest brother had been standing very still and very straight since the column had entered the yard, his chin raised, his small hands clasped behind his back in a precise imitation of the way Rickon stood. He was trying so hard to be formal that it made your chest ache.
Baelor stopped in front of him. Then, without ceremony, he crouched, lowering himself so that his eyes were level with Wendel's, one knee on the cold stone, his dark coat pooling around him. The gesture was easy and unself-conscious and entirely without condescension.
"And you must be Wendel," he said.
Wendel nodded once. His eyes were enormous.
"Your father told me about you as well. He said you were the fiercest Stark of all, but that you were keeping it secret until the right moment."
Wendel stared at him. Then, in the small, serious voice of a boy who had been given something precious and was not entirely sure what to do with it:
"I am training with a sword."
"Are you? What kind?"
"A short sword. Ser Rodrik says I am not ready for a real one yet."
"Ser Rodrik is wise. But I will tell you something." Baelor leaned slightly closer, as though sharing a confidence. "I was not allowed a real sword until I was twelve. And I was terrible with it for a full year after that. So you have time."
Wendel looked at him with the particular intensity of a child deciding whether an adult could be believed.
"Were you really terrible?" he asked.
"Truly terrible. Ask my brother. He will tell you. Our knights tried very hard to teach me the ways of fighting."
Wendel glanced past Baelor toward the second prince, still mounted, and then back.
"He does not look like you," Wendel said.
Baelor's mouth twitched.
"No," he said. "He does not."
He rose, placed a hand briefly on Wendel's shoulder. Light, warm, gone almost before it landed and turned.
Then he was in front of you.
Up close he was more than the sum of what you had observed from across the yard, which should not have surprised you and did anyway.
You had to look up to meet his eyes, and found them already on you, those impossible mismatched eyes and they were warmer than you had expected. Warmer than you had prepared yourself for. The kind of warm that did not announce itself but arrived the way winter sun arrived, slowly, at first light, before you had thought to look for it or decided what to do with it.
You looked at each other.
The moment was neither short nor long. It simply was.
To your considerable surprise, he went to one knee.
Not a courtier's bow, nothing so performed as that. A deliberate lowering and entirely certain of itself,
He took your right hand in both of his and pressed it gently to his forehead, held it there for a breath, and turned it just slightly and kissed it. A brief, warm pressure against your skin that sent something entirely unexpected moving through you before you had the presence of mind to stop it.
"My lady."
Low.
Warm.
The kind of voice that made you aware of your own skin.
It settled somewhere beneath your sternum and stayed there, unhurried, the way heat stayed in stone long after the fire had moved on.
You had never particularly noticed the way a voice could do that, had never had cause to. You noticed it now, standing very still with your hand still in his, with the cold pressing in from all directions and somehow feeling it considerably less than you had a moment ago.
He rose.
His hand did not immediately release yours.
You noticed, that despite the cold and three hundred leagues of winter road, his hand was warm, as though his blood ran hotter than other men's, as though winter had tried its best and simply failed to reach him.
You also noticed, against your will, how large his hand was. How his fingers were long and fine-boned and how yours looked very small inside them.
The blush arrived before you could stop it.
You felt it in your cheeks, immediate and traitorous, and had the profound wish to be somewhere very far away and very cold, which was almost funny given where you were currently standing.
His mouth curved, not quite a smile, but the shape of one, as though he had noticed and had decided to be kind about it.
"It seems your father is a far more modest man than he lets on."
You looked away. Collected yourself. Looked back.
"My father," you said, with as much composure as you could locate on short notice, "is the most honest man I know. Whatever he told you, I imagine it was entirely accurate and you simply chose to hear it generously."
"A diplomatic answer." He said to you, as though the two of you were the only people in the yard and he saw no reason to rush.
"Though I think you know as well as I do that diplomatic answers are what we reach for when the honest one would give too much away."
His mismatched eyes held yours.
"'The winter flower,'" he said, his voice dropping just slightly, warm and deliberate. "They spoke of you in King's Landing as though you were something to be admired from a distance." A pause, "I begin to see why."
You had no immediate answer for that. You searched for one and found nothing that would not make the situation considerably worse, so you lifted your chin instead and held his gaze with the particular stubbornness that had always served you better than words.
His smile returned. Fuller this time, directed entirely at you.
Movement caught your eye over his shoulder.
Maekar had dismounted.
He swung down from his horse in one fluid motion and handed the reins off to a waiting stable boy without looking at him. He stood with his arms crossed and his cloak pulled against the cold, watching the exchange between you and his brother with the particular expression of a man who had already formed his conclusions and found them unsurprising.
His violet eyes moved to you.
What you found there was an assessment so flat and so brief it was almost worse than open hostility, as though he had looked, and measured, and filed the result away somewhere unimportant.
Then he looked away.
As though you were not worth the continued attention.
You felt the sting of it more than you expected to and resented that immediately.
You did not see Wendel move.
You only heard the determined crunch of boots on frozen stone, and by the time you found him with your eyes he had already covered half the distance between your mother's side and the silver haired prince, his fur coat dragging behind him, his jaw set with the expression of a boy who had made a decision and was too far into it to reverse course.
Your mother's hand flew to her mouth.
Rickon went rigid.
Wendel planted his feet before Maekar, puffed out his chest, and spoke.
"You will treat my sister with honor, ser." He swallowed, his gaze darting to you for a fraction of a second before locking back on the prince. "If-if you do not... then you will answer to me."
The courtyard held its breath. Rickon went rigid, a muscle jumping in his jaw. You felt a wave of horrified, fierce love for your little brother so strong it almost buckled your knees.
Maekar did not laugh. He looked down at Wendel, his gaze sweeping over him once, assessing. Then, to the astonishment of everyone present, a short, rough chuckle escaped him.
"A knight's heart in a boy's body," he said, his voice a low rumble. "You have courage, little soldier." He took a step closer and lowered his voice slightly. "But stand with your shoulders back. A man who looks ready for a fight is less likely to be given one."
The advice was so unexpected and devoid of mockery, that Wendel simply stared, his bravado forgotten. Maekar gave him a short, sharp nod of something that looked unnervingly like respect, then turned from him, his duty to the boy concluded.
He moved to Rickon first. His stride was heavy, deliberate, eating the ground between them. He stopped and offered the northern clasp, his forearm meeting your brother's. His grip, you could tell, was iron.
"Lord Stark," Maekar said, his voice flat and hard as the frozen ground. "Your father is a man of substance. I trust his sons are the same."
It was not a pleasantry; it was a challenge and a statement of fact rolled into one. Rickon, to his credit, met the princeâs intense violet gaze without flinching. "The North breeds no other kind, Your Highness."
Maekar released him and turned to your mother. He executed a bow that was perfectly correct, yet stiff, as though the motion was a concession his body resented making.
"Lady Stark," he said, and the words were clipped, a duty performed and dispensed with.
Then, at last, he was before you.
He offered a bow. It was brief, correct, and entirely without warmth. The barest minimum that duty required after greeting the lord and lady of the house.
"My lady," he said. His voice was deeper than Baelor's, rougher at the edges, a voice accustomed to giving commands in the open air, not pleasantries in a courtyard.
You curtsied, your movements practiced and smooth, "Prince Maekar."
His gaze passed over you and moved on, already dismissing you, already looking for the next thing. Baelor, you noticed, watched his brother with an expression of faint, weary annoyance. It was clearly a familiar dynamic.
Just as the tension seemed ready to break, it was shattered by another voice.
"My princes!"
Lord Liddle, who had been fuming near the gate, now bustled forward, a broad, false smile stretched across his face. He pushed past a startled guardsman and positioned himself directly in front of the royal party, radiating an air of self-importance.
"It is an honor to stand before the Crown," he boomed, inclining his head with a flourish. "A true honor. I am Lord Liddle, of the mountain clans. A steadfast ally to House Stark."
Maekar looked at him with an expression of such pure, undiluted contempt that Lord Liddleâs smile faltered for a second. Baelor, however, stepped forward smoothly, placing himself between Liddle and your family. The warmth had vanished from his face, replaced by the cool, polished steel of the Hand of the King.
"Lord Liddle," Baelor said, and his voice was quiet, yet it cut through the courtyard air like a shard of ice. "We were concluding our greetings with our hosts."
It was a dismissal, delivered with such elegant finality it left no room for argument. But before the humiliation could fully land, Wendel, empowered by the prince's defense and his own fierce loyalty, took a half-step forward.
"He is no guest, my prince," Wendel declared, his voice high and trembling but utterly clear. "He came to ask for my sister's hand. He tried to get Rickon to break her betrothal to you."
The yard did not just go quiet. The air itself seemed to freeze. Every servant, every guard, every man of Lord Liddle's own retinue went utterly still. The accusation, spoken by a child with absolute sincerity, had stripped away all pretense.
You could not see Baelor's face. Only the rigid line of his back, the stillness that had come over him, the stillness of a man choosing very carefully what he did next. A low sound resonated from his chest.
Then, a movement. Swift. Deliberate. Entirely without hesitation.
Maekar stepped in front of you.
He did not look at you. He did not speak to you. He simply moved himself between you and Lord Liddle. A solid, immovable wall of black leather and silver hair. But it was not merely the placement of his body that struck you. It was everything that came with it, the set of his shoulders, broad and unyielding, the way his chin lifted slightly, the way his hands dropped to his sides. The posture of a man who had just drawn a line in the frozen ground and was waiting, with something that bordered on anticipation, for someone to be foolish enough to cross it.
This was a claim.
Wordless, graceless, and absolute, the kind that did not ask permission and did not need to. You were behind him and therefore you were his and Lord Liddle was in front of him and therefore Lord Liddle had a problem.
You stared at the back of his head.
A moment ago those same violet eyes had looked at you and found nothing worth lingering on. He had assessed you, looked away, and you had felt the dismissal of it settle under your skin like a splinter.
And now he was standing in front of you as though the idea of anyone else laying claim to you was something he found personally offensive.
You did not know what to do with that.
"You insolent little lord," Maekar snarled, his voice a low, dangerous growl. He took a step toward Liddle, whose face had gone pale.
"While men of the North bleed on that coast, while your own people give their sons to a war you hide from in your mountain passes, you ride to their seat and sniff around their women." Each word was placed with a precision that made it land harder than the one before it. "You stand in their hall, at their table, and think your name, your pride, your mountain caves carry enough weight to challenge a betrothal sealed by the Iron Throne itself."
He took another step.
Lord Liddle did not step back. He was, to his small credit, too proud for that. But something in him had gone very still.
"She is not yours to want," Maekar said. The quietness of it was absolute now, stripped of everything but the bare and implacable fact of it.
"She was never yours to want. And the next time you look at her, I will carve your eyes out myself. And I will make sure you are still breathing when I feed them to you."
Baelor let the words hang in the frozen air, letting their venom do its work. Only when Maekar took another menacing step forward did Baelor place a firm, steadying hand on his brotherâs arm.
"Brother. It's enough."
The command was quiet, but absolute. Maekar stopped, his chest heaving, his violet eyes burning with a fury that was far from extinguished.
Baelor turned his cool, mismatched gaze upon the terrified Lord Liddle.
"What my brother," he began, his voice deceptively mild, "is attempting to convey, Lord Liddle, is that a betrothal to the Crown is not a proposition. It is a matter of state. One does not haggle for it in a courtyard as if it were a side of beef."
He let the silence stretch, his eyes never leaving Liddle's.
"You have come to Winterfell seeking an alliance, while the North is at war. A war the Crown has now joined. You have insulted our betrothed, and in doing so, you have insulted the King who made the match." He tilted his head. "This has been a deeply unwise visit for you, my lord."
Baelor let his hand drop from his brother's arm and gestured dismissively toward the gate. "Go back to your mountains. And when you pray to your old gods, pray they grant you the wisdom not to come down again until you have learned your place."
He turned his back on Liddle completely, the dismissal so absolute it was like a physical blow. He looked to your mother, and the polished warmth returned to his face as if summoned by will alone.
"Lady Stark, you were offering us shelter from this bracing northern air? After that, I find I am very much in need of it."
Your mother, who had watched the entire exchange with a hawk's intensity, inclined her head, a flicker of profound respect in her eyes.
"Of course, Your Highness. Winterfell's halls are warm."
As your family and the princes turned toward the great hall, Lord Liddle left utterly diminished in the courtyard behind you, Maekar stepped away from you without a word.
No acknowledgment.
No glance back.
He moved ahead with his arms at his sides and his gaze straight forward, the picture of a man who had done what needed doing and had already stopped thinking about it, as though the last few minutes had been a minor inconvenience now filed away and forgotten.
You stared at his back for a moment.
Then a warmth found your arm.
Baelor appeared at your side, his hand settling at your elbow. He said nothing immediately. He did not need to. He simply guided you forward.
"I apologise for my brother," he said quietly, low enough that only you could hear. "He has a way of expressing himself that tends to leave very little room for interpretation."
"I heard that," came a flat voice ahead of you.
Baelor did not miss a step.
"I know," he said pleasantly.
A short silence. Then, undeterred, he continued at the same low register. "My lord father and mother devoted considerable effort to teaching him the finer points of diplomacy. It was not, I'm afraid, his most natural subject."
"My prince." You kept your voice even. "I am quite used to men like your brother. You need not apologise for him."
Baelor glanced down at you.
He said nothing.
But his hand remained at your elbow, and the corner of his mouth moved, and he simply inclined his head.
Stepping inside, the familiar scent of woodsmoke and roasting meat and fresh bread wrapped around you like something you had not known you needed until it arrived. The great hall had been laid with care, the long table heavy with venison stew, bowls of root vegetables glistening with butter, dark loaves still steaming from the kitchens.
Your mother guided everyone toward the high table with the quiet efficiency of a woman who had been seating difficult guests for decades. You settled across from the princes, Wendel dropping into the chair beside you with a small, guilty look that he aimed at you sideways, his shoulders drawn up around his ears. You pressed his hand once beneath the table and felt him exhale.
Rickon took his place at the head, waited until everyone had settled, and stood.
"Let us eat," he said, with the economy of a man who had not yet decided whether he was hosting guests or tolerating them. "You will need the strength for the road ahead."
Everyone inclined their heads.
You stabbed a roasted potato.
The venison smelled extraordinary, yet your stomach was doing something complicated and you did not intend to draw attention to it.
Then you felt it.
Two sets of eyes. Simultaneously, from across the table.
You looked up and met both pairs at once.
Baelor's mismatched gaze was warm and quietly attentive, the look of a man who was paying considerably more attention than his relaxed posture suggested and was not particularly troubled by you knowing it.
Maekar looked like the weather before a storm. His expression had settled back into its natural state, dark, flat, radiating the particular energy of a man who was annoyed by everything. His violet eyes met yours and did not move.
I wonder who pisses in his porridge every morning, you thought, with a flash of northern bluntness you were grateful no one could hear.
Then Maekar looked down at his plate.
He prodded a piece of roasted turnip with the tip of his knife, slowly.
"What," he said, "is this."
"A root vegetable, my prince," you said. Your voice came out even and cool, which you were quietly proud of. "They grow in the ground. I understand the South has them as well, if one is willing to dig."
The corner of Baelor's mouth moved.
Maekar's violet eyes lifted to yours. Something crossed them, before the familiar flatness returned.
"In the South," he said, "we have the decency to do something with them first."
"Pay him no mind," Baelor said smoothly, his mismatched eyes bright with an amusement he was making very little effort to conceal. "My brother considers any food that does not bleed when cut to be a philosophical failing."
You looked at Baelor.
"Then I shall have the kitchens send his venison up still kicking next time," you said. "I would not want the prince to feel slighted by our hospitality."
Baelor laughed.
Not a polite laugh, not the careful social sound of a prince maintaining atmosphere, a genuine one, short and unguarded, warm enough that several people along the table looked up from their plates. It transformed his face entirely, briefly, and you found yourself looking at it a beat longer than was strictly necessary before you looked away.
Maekar stared at you.
His expression was caught somewhere between irritation and something else entirely. He did not speak.
Instead he picked up the turnip, held your gaze, and bit into it.
You looked back down at your potato and said nothing.
But the corner of your mouth, entirely against your wishes, moved.
"How long do you mean to rest at Winterfell, Your Highness?" Rickon's voice cut through the momentary warmth like a blade through cloth. He did not dress it up. "My father and brother await your support on the coast."
Baelor turned to him, the humor settling into the composed focus of the Hand, the shift was seamless, practised, the face of a man who wore two expressions and moved between them without effort.
"Two days," he said. "Enough to recover the men and horses. Then we ride east."
"Good." Rickon's hand tightened around his goblet. "The sooner the better. I want to see the head of every last one of those savages on a spike before winter deepens."
"That is a sentiment we share entirely, my lord," Baelor said quietly. His eyes moved over Rickon's face with a diplomat's attention.
Your mother's hand fluttered.
"My son." Her voice was gentle but precise, the tone she used when she was steering something away from a cliff edge without making the steering obvious. "The battlefield will keep. Let us not bring it to the table tonight."
She turned to Baelor, "I have been meaning to ask, my prince, I have corresponded at length with King's Landing regarding the arrangements, the guests, the northern families who will attend but no one has thought to tell me what a Valyrian wedding actually looks like. I confess I am quite curious."
The effect on Maekar was instantaneous.
He had just taken a long pull of ale. At the word wedding he choked with a violent, full-bodied convulsion, ale going entirely the wrong direction, his fist slamming against the table as he fought for air.
Baelor closed his eyes briefly.
Your mother looked as though she was trying to decide whether to call for a maester.
Wendel, beside you, pressed his lips together with visible effort.
You looked very carefully at your plate.
"A Valyrian wedding," Baelor said, setting down his cup, "is not what you would be accustomed to. I want to be honest about that."
Your mother folded her hands on the table. Listening.
You said nothing. You were aware of your own stillness.
"The ceremony is old," he continued, his voice measured, "Older than the Conquest. Older than the dragons, some say, though I suspect that is an exaggeration." A brief pause. "It begins with fire. Torches, candles, as many as can be lit. The Valyrians believed that fire bore witness in the way that gods bore witness elsewhere. That it saw, and remembered."
Your mother's expression was carefully composed. You recognized the effort.
"The bride and groom are dressed in the old fashion, robes in the colors of the house, for you that would mean black and red." His mismatched eyes found yours briefly, acknowledging something without naming it.
"There is a blade of dragonglass. The groom draws it across his palm. The brideâ" He stopped. Chose his next words with particular care. "Across her lip. Just enough. Just a small cut."
The table was very quiet.
"The blood is mixed," he said. "And marked here." He touched two fingers briefly to his own forehead. "It signifies the continuation of the bloodline. The joining of two into something that cannot be separated."
He let that sit for a moment.
"And then the vow." Something shifted in his voice as though the words themselves required a different kind of handling. "Spoken in High Valyrian. Hen syt ñuha Ćghar, hen syt ñuha perzys, hen syt ñuha jelmÄzma. Kesrio syt ñuha." A pause.
"One flesh, one heart, one soul. Now and forever."
Silence.
Your mother opened her mouth, closed it, and reached for her wine.
"And what of the two of you in this arrangement?"
"Rickon." Your mother's voice.
Maekar, who had only just recovered from his coughing, his face still carrying the faint flush of a man who had recently lost a fight with his own ale, set his goblet down and looked at Rickon with a flat gaze:
"If you are asking whether my brother and I intend to kiss," he said, his voice still slightly roughened from the coughing, "you are going to be very disappointed."
You inhaled a piece of potato.
The coughing that followed was not brief and it was not quiet, and Wendel helpfully slapped you on the back twice with considerably more force than was necessary while you attempted to recover what remained of your dignity.
Baelor, with the composure of a man entirely accustomed to mealtimes that went like this, set down his fork and folded his hands on the table.
"The old Valyrian custom," he began, "speaks only of the union between a man and a woman. A union of three has only one precedent in recorded history. Aegon the Conqueror and his sister-wives and even then the ceremony was not followed in its entirety so much as adapted to accommodate what was being asked of it." He paused. "My lord father is aware of how this sounds, which is precisely why he asked Aerys to research it thoroughly before any arrangements were confirmed."
"Aerys," Maekar said, into his goblet, "spent three weeks in the archives and emerged looking like he had not slept once and had never been happier in his life."
"That is accurate," Baelor agreed, without missing a beat. "What he found was an old custom. Ancient, in fact, predating the Doom, predating most of what we know of Valyria as it existed at its height. It is called trÄsy jentorion." He said the words carefully, "The brothers' bond. Historically it was performed between men of the same blood, brothers, sworn companions, men who wished to bind their loyalty to one another in a way that went beyond words alone." A pause. "It has never, to our knowledge, been incorporated into a wedding ceremony. But thenâ" the faintest trace of something moved through his expression, "very little about this arrangement has clear precedent."
"Reassuring," Rickon said flatly.
"Deeply," Maekar agreed, with equal flatness, and drank.
Baelor continued as though neither of them had spoken.
"We will each cut our palms and the blood will be marked here." He put his hand of the back his neck. "And we will speak the vow of trÄsy jentorion alongside each other. The ceremony will acknowledge the three of us as bound within the same rite." He looked at you briefly, and his voice dropped just slightly, as though the next part was meant more for you than for the table.
"It will not be traditional. It will not look like anything that has been done before. But it will be real, and it will be witnessed, and it will mean something."
A silence settled over the table.
Wendel had gone very still.
Your mother's hands were folded in her lap with a precision that suggested she was managing several feelings at once and had decided the table was not the place for them.
Rickon looked at the wall.
"And the dragonglass blade," Maekar said, with the air of a man raising a point he had been sitting on for some time. "I want it noted that I objected to that part."
"You objected to every part," Baelor said mildly.
"I objected to the dragonglass blade specifically and on principle."
"And yet here we are."
Maekar looked at him. Then at his plate. Then picked up his fork with the energy of a man who had made his position known and had nothing further to add.
The table had found a tentative peace.
It lasted approximately four seconds.
"Will the bedding be different as well?"
Wendel's voice rang out with the clear, carrying confidence of a boy who had absolutely no idea what he had just done to the atmosphere of the room.
He leaned forward, elbows on the table, face open and entirely earnest.
"Did Aegon the Conqueror share his wives simultaneously or separately? Because the histories are not specific on that point and I have always wonderedâ"
The silence that followed was of a very particular quality.
Rickon looked as though he had briefly left his body.
Your mother's eyes had gone very wide.
Your face, entirely without your permission, became the approximate color of a winter peach.
Baelor and Maekar, by contrast, received this with a composure that suggested the subject had, in fact, been discussed between them at some point, possibly at length, possibly with considerable difficulty.
Baelor's expression did not change. Maekar reached for his ale with the unhurried movements of a man who had already made his peace with the universe and its many inconveniences.
Though you did notice, with some satisfaction, that the tips of his ears had gone very red.
Whether that was the ale, you could not say.
"There is no record," Baelor said, with the measured calm of a man defusing something, "of a specific Valyrian bedding custom. The old texts are not particularly detailed on the subject."
Wendel opened his mouth.
"Which means," Baelor continued, with gentle firmness, "that we have very little to go on and the matter has not yet been decided."
"But will you follow the court tradition?" Wendel pressed, undeterred, with the relentless curiosity of a boy who had never once in his life recognized a closed door.
"Because in Archmaester Gyldayn's histories there is a passage about the bedding ofâ"
"No," Maekar said.
The word landed on the table like a dropped sword.
"We will not." He set his goblet down.
"Our mother spoke on the matter at considerable length and made her position very clear. The bedding tradition ends with us." A pause. He glanced at you very briefly, the look there and gone before it could be named. "It is a barbaric custom and we have no intention of continuing it."
Your mother exhaled, quiet and careful.
Wendel looked briefly disappointed, then seemed to think better of it, and reached for his bread instead.
Rickon, who had spent the last thirty seconds looking at the ceiling, slowly returned his gaze to the table and reached for his wine with the movements of a man who had aged several years in a very short time.
You stood up.
The table shook slightly as your hip caught the edge of it, and every head turned toward you at once. Your mother, Rickon, Wendel, and two Targaryen princes, all of them looking at you with varying degrees of concern and curiosity.
"I need air." You inclined your head, quick and precise, the closest thing to a bow your current composure could manage. "If you will excuse me."
You did not wait to find out whether you were excused.
Your feet made the decision before the rest of you had fully committed to it and you were already moving, past the chairs, past the servants along the walls, toward the door and the cold and the blessed, indifferent dark beyond it.
"But my darling, your venisonâ" your mother called.
The door closed behind you
You did not know where you were going.
You only knew that the hall was behind you and the cold was ahead and your feet had made a decision your mind was still catching up to. You moved through familiar passages, past the tapestries, past the torches burning low in their brackets, through the corridors that knew the sound of your footsteps better than you knew them yourself.
You found yourself in the glass gardens.
Your mother's particular miracle. Your father had built it for her years ago, expanded it, really, added to what had been a modest thing and made it something that had no business existing this far north.
The gesture had said everything that a Stark man could not put into plain words , I know what I asked you to leave behind. I cannot give it back. But I can give you this.
The air inside was warm and close, thick with damp earth and the faint sweetness of things that should not have been blooming in winter.
Winter roses in pale blue and white. Fireplums. The hardy Dornish moss your mother had been coaxing along the base of the far wall for three years with the patient determination of a woman who had learned that some things simply required more time than felt reasonable.
You walked between the rows without purpose, your fingers trailing along the petals of things that were soft and alive.
You breathed.
The garden helped.
It always had.
You did not hear the footsteps until they stopped.
You turned, expecting a servant or your mother but-
It was Maekar.
He stood near the entrance with his arms crossed and his expression set in its default configuration. Closed, flat, faintly displeased with the general situation.
He looked profoundly out of place among the roses. Like a sword left in a solar.
"This is a foolish place to be alone," he said.
"I am not alone now, am I," you said, and turned back to the winter roses.
He made a sound that communicated his feelings about that response with considerable economy and moved further into the garden, his boots quiet on the damp stone path.
"The castle is full of men," he said. "Ours and yours. Ears everywhere. You walk out of a hall in the middle of a supper and every servant between here and the kitchens has an opinion about why."
"I am aware," you said. "I live here."
"Then you should know better than to give them something to whisper about."
You turned to face him.
"And you, my prince?" Your voice came out even, which you were grateful for. "Does following me into my mother's garden not give them something to whisper about as well?"
He looked at you.
For a moment the room held its breath, the humid air between you going very still, and you thought he would say something sharp and final and leave, the way he seemed to prefer doing things.
Instead, he looked away.
His gaze moved to the Dornish moss along the base of the wall, and something shifted in his face.
"My mother has a garden like this," he said. Quietly. The anger entirely absent from his voice, leaving something underneath it that sounded considerably more human.
"In King's Landing. Smaller. She tends it herself." A pause. "She says it is the only thing that keeps her from forgetting what home is like."
You said nothing.
He glanced back at you, and the defensiveness returned to his eyes almost immediately, as though he had heard himself and was already regretting the openness of it.
"You Starks are not the only ones who are attached to their lands," he said. Gruff. Preemptive.
"I know," you said.
He looked at you.
"My brother is good at this," he said, after a moment. His jaw tightened slightly. "The words. The warmth. He knows how to be in a room with people and make them feel, whatever it is they need to feel." Something moved briefly behind his violet eyes.
"I do not know how to do that. I have never known how."
"No," you agreed. "You do not."
He made a short, rough sound, "At least you are honest."
"I was raised to be."
He looked at you for a long moment.
"I will not pretend this is what I wanted," he said. The words came out without decoration, without apology. Plain as stone.
"This arrangement. Any of it." A pause. "But it has been decided, and I do not go back on things that have been decided." His eyes held yours steadily.
"I will give you my name. I will defend it. I will give you sons and stand with you and honor what my father signed."
The humid air between you was very still.
"But I will not love you." He said it the way he said everything, directly, without flinching from it, as though softening it would be a greater unkindness than the words themselves.
"My brother can give you that. I will give you what I have. It will have to be enough."
You looked at him.
And then you stepped forward.
Closing the distance between you with a deliberateness that made something shift almost imperceptibly in his expression, the absolute certainty of him faltering for just a fraction of a second, there and gone so fast you might have imagined it.
You did not imagine it.
You were close enough now to feel the warmth radiating from him, that unreasonable, elemental heat that had no business existing in a northern winter. Close enough that you had to tilt your head up to hold his gaze.
Your eyes moved over his face slowly. Taking their time. His jaw, sharp and set. The pitted marks the pox had left against his skin. The violet eyes that had gone very, very still.
Then your gaze dropped.
To his mouth, that hard, uncompromising line that had done nothing but frown and snarl and say blunt, graceless things since the moment he had ridden through the gates.
You looked at it anyway.
Slowly.
And then you looked back up.
Something had changed in his eyes. The recalculation happening behind them was visible now, no longer subtle, the confidence of him not broken but genuinely, unexpectedly interrupted.
His breath had slowed.
You were close enough to feel it against your lips.
You spoke at barely a whisper, your voice low, only for him, only for the warm close air between you.
"My mother hated this place when she first came here. And my father, they could not be in the same room without the air going sharp between them. She promised herself she would never love a man like him. His nature too hard, too cold, too entirely unlike anything she had ever wanted."
You did not step back.
"Now see where they landed, my prince." Your eyes held his, steady and entirely unafraid. "Four children. And a love so complete and so consuming that not one other woman has ever occupied a single corner of my father's gaze. What began as indifference became something neither of them planned for and neither of them has ever recovered from."
You let that sit between you, in the warm air of the garden, in the space that was almost nothing and felt like considerably more.
Then, you stepped back.
"So your words mean very little to me." You turned back to the winter roses, your fingers finding a pale blue petal with perfect calm.
"I imagine your brother will do just fine."
Behind you, Maekar said nothing.
But you heard his breath.
And it was not entirely steady.
Then he abruptly left and you smirked to yourself, undenaibly the wolf brought the great dragon down.
The sharp cold of the afternoon had settled over Winterfell by the time you found yourself moving again.
After the garden, the princes had been shown to their chambers. Whether the princes had sought out Rickon afterward you did not know. You had not asked. You had gone to the kitchens instead, retrieved the venison you had abandoned at supper, wrapped it in cloth, and carried it to the godswood because the godswood was the only place in Winterfell that had never once asked anything of you.
The trees were very still.
A lone raven watched you from the branches of the heart tree.
"SÈłndor."
Nothing.
You remembered the way he had melted back into the shadows during the princes' arrival. Further and further until the darkness had simply swallowed him whole. You did not blame him. You envied him, if anything. The ability to simply disappear when the world became too much, to press yourself into the dark wait until it was over.
You sat down against the heart tree with your venison and your thoughts and the raven watching you from above.
Then you felt it. Another presence. Behind you.
You turned.
Baelor stood at the edge of the godswood, his hands loose at his sides, his bearing straight and easy all at once in the way that seemed entirely natural to him, as though his body had never learned the difference between effort and rest.
He had changed his coat, longer now, heavier, dark wool with the three-headed dragon worked along the sleeves in red thread so fine and clean it could only have come from one source.
Your mother's stitching. Unmistakably.
You made a note to have words with her about that.
"May I?" He gestured to the space beside you, his eyes moving briefly to the venison in your hands without a flicker of comment.
You hesitated for only a moment, thinking of SÈłndor somewhere in the trees, thinking of amber eyes watching from the dark and then moved over.
He settled beside you. Not too close. Close enough. He looked at the heart tree the way people looked at things they were trying to understand rather than simply observe, with patience and genuine attention.
The silence between you was not uncomfortable.
You were aware of your own nervousness in a way you could not entirely account for, your hands too deliberate around the cloth in your lap, your eyes fixed on the carved face of the heart tree.
"The Children of the Forest," Baelor said, after a while, his voice quiet and unhurried, shaped for the particular stillness of the place. "They must have known something we did not. These trees are a testament to that. To something that has outlasted everything that tried to replace it."
"They are," you said. You looked at the red sap trailing down the pale bark, slow and dark and endless. "I will miss them. When we marry in spring and I ride south. I will miss them more than almost anything else."
The melancholy of it surprised you with its weight.
You felt his gaze move to your face.
You did not look up.
"It is a shame," he said, carefully, "that so many of them were cut. They are remarkable things. I find them beautiful, in a way I did not expect to."
A short sound left you before you could stop it. Not quite a laugh. Not quite not one either.
"As if," you said, under your breath.
A pause.
"I beg your pardon?" There was something in his voice. The faint, warm shape of amusement carefully contained.
You looked up at him then, finally, with the directness of a woman who had decided she had nothing left to lose by it.
"You are being kind," you said. "You do not have to be kind, my prince. Not here."
He looked at you.
"I am not being kind," he said. "I am being honest." A beat. "There is a difference. I would have thought a Stark would know it."
The raven shifted on its branch above you.
Baelor's head snapped up.
The movement was so sudden, so entirely unlike the composed prince who had sat down beside you, that you looked up too and found the raven looking at Baelor back.
Baelor stared back at it with an intensity you had not seen on him before.
"My prince." You touched his arm without thinking. "Are you alright?"
He blinked.
The raven lifted from the branch in one smooth, silent motion and was gone between the trees, black against the pale sky, there and then not there.
Baelor watched the place where it had been for a moment. Then his composure returned.
"Forgive me," he said. "Yes. I am fine."
You looked at him for a moment longer than you should've.
Then; "Baelor."
He turned. "Hm?"
"We are to be husband and wife." You said it to the heart tree rather than to him, which was perhaps cowardly but felt safer. "You may address me by my name. I would prefer it, actually."
The silence that followed was a warm one.
"Then you must use mine as well," he said. "You have been very careful not to."
You had been. You had not realized he had noticed.
You looked at him, and the confidence that had come so easily in the garden with Maekar, was nowhere to be found. In its place was something quieter and considerably more inconvenient.
Maekar made you want to fight. Baelor made you want to be careful. You were not entirely sure which was more dangerous.
"Of course," you said. "Baelor."
His name in your mouth felt different than you expected. More real. More like the beginning of something rather than simply a word.
You looked away.
And then a shadow fell over both of you.
Large. Sudden. Entirely without warning.
You looked up.
SÈłndor stood at the edge of the clearing, his amber eyes moving between you and Baelor with the slow, deliberate attention of an animal conducting a very thorough assessment.
His dark fur was damp from the trees. He was enormous in the grey afternoon light, which you had always known and which apparently landed differently when viewed from the perspective of a southern prince encountering him for the first time at close range.
To his considerable credit, he had not moved. He sat very still, his eyes on SÈłndor with an attention that was neither fear nor performance.
Then he slowly rose to his feet.
He offered you his hand as he did, without looking away from SÈłndor, and you took it and let him pull you up beside him.
"SÈłndor, I presume," he said. Not a question. Almost warm.
"Yes, Baelor, please, he does not know you, heâ"
He was already moving.
Slowly, deliberately, with the particular calm of someone who had decided that stillness was the right language for this conversation and had committed to it entirely.
You pressed your hand to your mouth and did not breathe.
Baelor stopped before SÈłndor, who had not moved, who was watching the approaching prince with those amber eyes and then, without hesitation, went to one knee.
"Ăuha geptot jÄdari ao, zÈłhys perzys se ñuha dĆre, yne Ćdrikagon, kostĆba lĆtinti hen hÄdrÈł."
I bow before you, your fire and my respect. Let me approach, great wolf of the North.
The godswood was very still.
SÈłndor looked at him.
For a long moment, nothing happened. The two of them simply regarded each other in the grey afternoon light, the prince on one knee and the direwolf sitting like something carved and then SÈłndor leaned forward and pressed his great head slowly, into Baelor's outstretched hand.
You stared.
Baelor's fingers moved through the dark fur with the ease of a man who had been granted something and understood the weight of it.
You had never seen SÈłndor do that. Not with anyone he had not known for years. Not without being asked. Not like that, that particular quality of willingness and entirely chosen.
"How," you said.
Baelor looked up at you, his mismatched eyes bright in the pale winter light, and for the first time since he had ridden through Winterfell's gates the composure was entirely gone, replaced by something unguarded and genuine and startlingly young.
He was smiling.
"I did not know if it would," he said, his hand still moving slowly through SÈłndor's fur. "But I thought it was worth attempting, if I ever had the chance."
You stared at him. "You thought about it?"
"At some length, yes." He glanced up at you. "Maekar and I discussed it, actually. What one does upon meeting a direwolf. Whether to stand or kneel. Whether to reach out or wait. Whether speaking would help or simply alarm him." A pause. "We had rather different opinions on the approach."
You could only imagine.
They talked about him. Both of them, somewhere on the long road north, debating the correct protocol for meeting your wolf. The image of it, Maekar scowling into the wind, Baelor thoughtful, the two of them arguing about SÈłndor while three hundred miles of winter road passed beneath their horses, sat somewhere in your chest in a way you did not entirely know what to do with.
Baelor looked at SÈłndor for one last moment, something quiet and genuine in his expression, and then rose to his feet.
"I will leave you two." He inclined his head to you, and then, just slightly, to SÈłndor. "You are in excellent company."
And then he turned and walked back through the godswood, his dark coat moving through the pale birches until the trees swallowed him and the sound of his footsteps faded into the quiet.
You stood in the stillness he left behind.
SÈłndor watched the place where Baelor had disappeared for a long moment, his amber eyes tracking the last trace of him with that slow, attention he gave to things he had not yet finished deciding about.
Then he turned to you.
You looked at him.
He looked at you.
"Don't," you said.
He blinked slowly.
You scratched behind his ears with both hands, and he pressed into it.
"Good boy," you muttered.
Next Chapter:
I have to say, this is probably my favorite chapter so far. I had so much fun writing it. I hope you enjoy it! â€ïž
đ Pairings: nepo-baby!Satoru Gojo x Stripper!reader
đ Chapter Content Warnings: Sex work, mentions of past infidelity, mentions of past body shaming, drug use, sexual themes, explicit sexual content, hand job, humiliation, light choking, reader is so fucking mean to Satoru in this
đ WC: 7.6k
đ Chapter Two // Masterlist
Chapter One: Show Me Who You Are
(Satoru's POV)
Satoru Gojo bends over, a rolled up hundred shoved up his nose, snorting up the fine white powder he cut with his credit card. Xanax, prescription, none of that pressed shit. He might be a party-mongering, pill-snorting, playboy, but he's not dumb or desperate enough to put something like that into his system. The drugs are just to make him feel better. He doesn't need them; that's what he tells himself. Straightening back up, Satoru drags his knuckles across the bottom of his nose, clearing the lingering crumbs of those feel-good pills. He's always preferred downers. As it is, he's already hyper enough, his mind constantly moving a million miles a second.
The Xans slow it down, make it so he doesnât think about how he barely knows any of the people at this party or how Suguru ignored his invite yet again. It makes it so he doesn't have to think about how their relationship got to this point in the first place. Letting out a sigh, Satoru slouches into the leather couch. The strobing hot pink neons glance off his pale, flawless skin, turning his snowy hair into a pink tinted halo. The bass of the sultry music vibrates in his chest. The people that surround him can barely be called acquaintances, let alone friends. At least the host, some Hollywood exec he knows through a friend of a friend, has good taste. Imperial Premier Gentlemanâs Clubâan invite-only, exclusive, luxury strip club in Beverly Hills. The interior is all black leather seats and booths, gray marble floors, and intricate silver wallpaper that mutedly reflects the lights. It's the kind of place that caters to people like him.
He watches one of the dancers wrap her limber body around the pole, spinning slowly, on the stage at the front of the room. Parties like this are a habitat he thrives in. Full of slutty women, drugs, and booze. It's no wonder he's developed a bit of a reputation as LAâs most notorious nepo-baby. Of course, his parents love that for him, but then, their disdain for his lifestyle only makes it more fun. At 28, he should be growing out of this, but heâs not. In fact, heâs only ramping up.
The Xanax is just starting to hit, the world taking on a hazy, faded vignette, when the guy on his right elbows him and says, âHoly fuck, look at that chick. Sheâs smoking.â Satoruâs head tilts to the side, his sky-blue eyes drifting lazily across the crowd until his heart stumbles, then comes to a screeching halt, because in a clearing in the middle of that crowd is you. Suguruâs pretty little ex-wife and the reason his best friend is a shell of his former self.
Five years has been good to you, really good. Your body is more perfect than ever and youâre dancing with confidence you didnât have back then. Your little iridescent bikini set and the glitter smeared across your skin catch the light in a way that makes you look ethereal. Holy shit, do you work as a dancer here? You must. No, no, no, no. That doesnât make sense. For a full minute, his sluggish mind glitches out trying to reconcile the âyouâ in his memories to the âyouâ heâs seeing now. Fuck, he hopes to a god he doesnât believe in that itâs just the drugs.
Everything comes flooding back all in the span of a few minutes. The moment he met you, so cute, peeking out from behind Suguruâs back like you thought heâd eat you alive. He hated that, hated how you clung to Suguru like he was the only safe thing in existence. Back when you and Suguru met in college, Satoru was less than kind to you. Scratch that, he was sort of a total dick.
He picked on you, called you names, mocked you for your sweet, shy personality, and your homely hobbies, and constantly tried to talk Suguru into ditching you. You just didnât measure up to Suguru in his opinion. You werenât worthy of him. He hated the way Suguru started spending less and less time partying and hanging out with him, hated the way you looked at Suguru like he hung the stars in the sky just for you, hated that you were so pathetically attached to his best friend. Before you came along, it was him and Suguru against the world. And he never let you forget how much he hated you.
He wishes that was the worst of it. He really, really wishes. Nothing with Satoru is ever that easy though. It's his fault that your marriage collapsed, his fault that Suguru barely does anything but work and drink these days. It's all his fault. Because five years ago, he dragged Suguru to a party just like this with the sole intention of getting him to cheat on you. It was a normal party. He and Suguru danced, did a stupid amount of drugs, danced some more, gambled, and drank. Except, Satoru asked some girl he used to know, a girl whose name he doesnât even fucking remember, to lay it on thick with Suguru, seduce him. And it worked. Suguru fucked that girl silly and Satoru, being an altruistic soul, snapped a few pictures to send right on over to you.
The next day, all hell broke loose. You lost your shit on Suguru, on him too, screaming and crying, cussing the both of them out, the works. He'd never seen you so animated before. Suguru fought the divorce in any way he could, dragged it out as long as possible, but eventually the dust settled and finally you disappeared from their lives. Completely vanished. At first, he was so proud of himself, certain that he and Suguru would fall right back into the way it was pre-you. You were gone; he got what he wanted.
Except, thatâs not exactly how things went. Slowly, bit by bit, Suguru began to fade away. He stopped doing anything but work, work, work all the time. His body withered as he stopped eating, he stopped sleeping, dark purplish bags taking up a permanent residence beneath his golden-brown eyes, stopped hanging out with anyone, stopped living. In the five years that have passed since then, Suguru has never recovered from the loss, and Satoru has started to think that he never will. A part of his best friend broke permanently when he lost you.
And now, you've reappeared. He almost didnât recognize you, but he knows those eyes. Such pretty eyes. He'd know them anywhere, has always thought your eyes are gorgeous, though back then he would have sooner died than admit it. He watches the way your body moves, the slow, sensual roll of your hips as you give some douchebag, entrepreneur-looking motherfucker a lap dance. His jaw clenches at the sight, a strange hot, bitterness pricking his heart. The hot pink lights silhouette your form so beautifully, making the rotation of your hips even more sinful.
Itâs just the drugs, he tells himself. Thatâs the only explanation he has for why his cock is twitching in the tailored trousers of his outrageously expensive, custom suit. Before he realizes what heâs doing, Satoru is already pushing himself up from the couch, his mind protesting from under the weighted blanket of the Xanax. âBe right back,â he mutters to his companions, not that any of them care. Itâs a lie anyway. His feet are moving, carrying him through the crowd. Each pump of his heart pounds in his ears. Closer, closer. He watches as you drop into the guyâs lap, practically grinding down on him, and some irrational thought whispers for him to shove his way between you two, but he forces himself to stay still, to hang back enough not be noticed, which is difficult with him being over 6â4â and having hair that acts like a beacon.
Besides, this way he can drink in your ass, the easy way you gracefully spin around in those incredibly high heels. God, they make your legs look a mile long. The guy tucks some bills into the triangular cup of that little bikini top, and it makes Satoru cross his arms over his chest to keep from doing something stupid. You whisper something low to the guy, too low for him to catch what it is, but a second later the guy is standing up and heading towards the bar.
Still, he doesnât move. He walked his ass all the way over here and yet now, heâs fucking frozen like a coward. But then you spin around, your glossy hair arcing around you. He can tell you recognize him. Those pretty eyes go wide, all the blood draining from your face. Well, he canât say he doesnât deserve that. All the same, he puts on a cocky smirk, his straight white teeth gleaming faintly in the light. For a moment, it feels like the world has shrunk down to just the two of you. âHey,â he says casually, too casually for the loaded history between you, âWell, well, well, if it isnât Suguruâs little ex-wife.â He chuckles, his voice low, rich, and smooth and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his pants, âDidnât think you had this in you. No more hiding against the wall? Baggy clothes? Averted eyes?â Thereâs a tension-stretched pause before he adds like a taunt, âGuess we know who made out better in the divorce.â A cheap shot, maybe. He knows Suguru made damn well sure to keep you from getting anything in the way of alimony or assets, a shitty attempt to keep you from divorcing him.
You sneer at him, those pretty eyes blazing. âGo fuck yourself, Satoru,â you say, disdain dripping from your tongue, a tone heâs never heard from you before. Five years ago, you wouldnât have been able to look him in the eyes, let alone give him lip like that. âIâm working,â you snap, âLeave me alone.â That fire in those eyes is as intoxicating as it is confusing. Your chin juts out, arms crossing distractingly under your chest, and Satoruâs eyes dip down. Against his will, he tells himself. A nice set of tits is a nice set of tits and yours look so plush and inviting under these lights.
âAw, donât be like that sweetheart,â he coos, leaning forward into your space a little, testing boundaries. âCome on, what happened to the little church-mouse artist routine? Didnât stick?â Heâs needling you, poking and prodding. Look at me, look at me, look at me. He doesnât know if itâs the drugs or if itâs just how much youâve changed but you look like a fucking goddess. A furious goddess of war with your furrowed brow and the stubborn set of your jaw.
âKiss my ass,â you immediately bite back to his delight, âStop acting like you know shit about me, Satoru.â You suck your teeth and add testily, âIâm not the same person I was five years ago and itâs best you donât treat me as such. My life is none of your fucking business.â The expression on your face makes him think youâd love to slap the shit out of him, which only deepens his smirk into a shit-eating grin.
âOoh, so scary,â he says sarcastically, âBut youâre all bark and no bite, sweetheart.â He chuckles, the sound rolling and full of as much mockery as he can muster. âI see you. I see what youâre doing, working this room like a fucking maestro, but letâs not pretend you wouldnât much rather make me eat my words.â That smile grows its biggest yet. Itâs irreverent and taunting, silently egging you to keep batting back at him. Then, shamelessly, he adds, âSo, how much for a private dance and a little conversation?â
The number of emotions your face cycles through at once is impressive and well worth his shenanigans. The last thing it settles on is a rehearsed smile stitched to your lips, but he can see the tiny âfuck yousâ burning in the depths of your eyes. Your tone is all innocent politeness as your say, âIâm sorry. Iâm afraid all private dances have to be booked and approved by a manager. No exceptions.â You gesture to the bar area where a tall manâdark hair, tan skin, dark eyesâis chatting with a few others. But Satoru doesnât want to talk to him like heâs just some guy paying for the privilege of looking at your beautiful body up close and personal. He wants to stay right here where he can push your buttons.
âDonât be like that, sweetheart,â he pouts for a second, looking way more adorable than a grown-ass man has any right to. The pout disappears a moment later, only to be replaced by the kind of smile that usually gets him what he wants, blue eyes glinting. âTell you what,â he says, reaching into his pocket to pull out a fat stack of bills, âDouble the usual rate. Cash up front.â He says it enticingly, fanning the bills in a blatant show of wealth. Low and conspiratorial, he adds, âUnless youâre scared that I might actually enjoy the show.â He leans just a little closer, his height and broad shoulders making it so heâs crowding you without actually being all that close.
You donât budge though. If anything, the furrow between your brows deepens and, with a vein of irritation creeping into that polite customer service voice, you say, âI donât care what you would or would not enjoy.â Your smile widens, your eye practically twitching with the effort of maintaining it, as you continue, âOnce again, all private dances are booked and handled by a manager.â Then, like you just canât help it, you add snidely, âSo, you can either walk your ass over there, or I can go dance for literally anyone else. I know which option Iâd prefer.â
God, he doesnât know how you manage to be so polite and so mean at the same time. Heâs not used to being denied his way. It pisses him off, but at the same time it spends a spark of heat straight to his dick. The urge to follow you around like a goddamn dog and push your buttons just to see how youâd snap is stronger than the Xanax. The glitter on your skin calls to him, his hand aching to reach up and swipe his thumb across those sparkling stretches of soft skin. He hates not getting his way. For a moment, he considers continuing to push, to make you deal with him personally, but even high off his ass he can read the room. Youâre not doing shit if itâs not by the book. He doesnât want to do things by the book; he wants to be your exception, or your torment. But he wants you alone more. He has to know what happened to the shy, sweet girl who swathed herself in thick layers to hide her body, the girl who cried every time he said something mean but never called him out on it, the girl who needed his best friend like air. He needs to know what happened to you.
So, he gives you a cocky smile and shrugs like itâs no big deal. âSure Princess, fine, whatever. Iâll talk to your manager. But when he says yesââ and Satoru is certain he's going to say yes, âThen, you better not shake that ass like I'm the one who cheated on you. Try and stow the attitude for a few minutes, hmm baby? Youâre barking up the wrong tree there.â Heâs just trying to piss you off at this point, craving more of that sharp bite youâve got now. Both of you know that while Suguru might have cheated, Satoru was directly responsible. He doesnât let himself dwell on that though. Without waiting for your reply, Satoru spins around and marches toward where you pointed your manager out earlier.
âĄ
(Your POV)
The second Satoruâs back is turned, you beeline it for the bathroom. For five years, youâve managed to avoid both of them, your ex-husband and his dickbag of a best friend. Despite sharing the same city, youâve been careful, so careful, to avoid any of the places you used to favor, that they used to favor. It seems your luck has finally run out. Once you make it to the bathroom, you quickly shut yourself in a stall, slump against the wall, and take deep even breaths to slow the racing of your heart. Five years. Five years without seeing Satoruâs smug, cocky expression, those bright blue eyes, and that eye-catching mess of white hair. Five years without thinking of your ex-husband, and his smooth slightly tan skin, those tender golden-brown eyes, and long silky black hair. It took you two of them to recover from the damage he did.
Even now, youâre still not fully back together; much like a Kintsugi vase, youâre whole and beautiful but weaker than before the break occurred. You havenât had a real relationship since the divorce, nothing of substance anyway. Sure, youâve fucked around, but you never let it get too serious. Mostly, it's been one-night stands and the few times itâs started to seem like it could be something more, you pull some bullshit to sabotage it. Especially, once you can tell that they really like you. Sometimes, it's picking needless fights, others it's refusing to open up, and most frequently itâs just you ghosting them.
Then thereâs the craving for attention. You donât do drugs like many of the other girls and most of your clientele does, but the attention? That shit hits like one. The way people stare at your body when you're on the poles, the way their eyes darken when you dance on them, the way they all want youâthatâs the shit that you crave. Itâs why you started stripping in the first place. After everything, your already screwed up self-esteem was in tatters. Stripping gave you freedom, it gave you ownership of your body, it helped you learn to trust in your body and what it does for you.
Letting out a breath, you shake your head to clear your mind. No. Youâre not falling apart just from seeing Satoru Gojo, the man who destroyed your marriage, your self-esteem, and your heart. You take another deep breath, your lungs filling with the sharp sour air of the bathroom, and then expel it. Five years ago, you were a different person. Heâs not going to make you feel small because you wonât let him. When youâre all put together again, you look at yourself in the mirror and give a mean little smile. Itâs something youâve perfected, your weapon and your mask.
Upon leaving the bathroom, the thump of the clubâs bass-heavy music assaults your ears. The scents of sweat, booze, and cleaning chemicals are heavy in the air, but youâre used to it. You go down the long hall into and back into the main area of the club, your transparent glittery platform heels clicking against the marble floor. The dim hot pink neon lights silhouette your curves, giving your soft, supple skin an angelic glow. Immediately, you spot your manager beside Satoru. Spine straight, hips swaying like sin incarnate, you saunter over to them. May as well get it over with. No more hiding and no more being scared.
They meet you halfway and, of course, Satoruâs wearing a shit eating grin, like heâs won something. It pisses you off, makes you want to backhand the stupid expression right off his face. You manager, Hiromi Higuruma, pulls the cigarette from between his lips, his short black hair all spiked up and shiny with some product. He exhales a breath of smoke, the pungent scent making you wrinkle your nose. His brown eyes flick from Satoru to you, sensing something below the surface. Thank god he decides not to pry. âVIP client,â he says simply, âRequested you specifically. Thirty minutes. He hasnât bought a membership yet, so treat him, okay?â You catch the underlying meaning: show him what a membership is worth. Hiromi looks back over at Satoru and says, âNo pictures. No touching. Dancer complains and itâs a lifetime ban. You understand?â
Satoru scoffs and rolls his blue eyes before saying, âJust what type of guy do you think I am?â At Hiromiâs narrowed eyes, he waves his hand dismissively and adds, âYeah, yeah, I got it. Phone stowed, mitts off.â Hiromi gives you one more once over, silently asking if youâre sure youâre gonna be okay, and you give him a subtle nod back. He returns the gesture before turning away and heading back to the bar, where he was before Satoru decided to insert himself into the narrative of your life again.
Once youâre alone, or relatively speaking anyway, Satoru looks back at you and says, "So, you gonna dance for me, sweetheart? Or you just gonna stand there looking at me with that bland smile youâre putting on to hide how much you want to strangle me?â He always was so good at reading you, better even than Suguru was somehow.
Your teeth grind together as you grit out, âRight this way, sir. The private booths are on the second floor.â Then, without waiting to see if heâll follow (but sure that he will), you spin a round and head back toward the hall where the bathrooms are. At the very end of it is a wooden staircase, the steps glossy black. You stride up them and, even though you canât see him, you can feel his eyes burning a hole into your ass. Good. By the end of this, heâs going to regret backing you between a rock and a hard place.
You lead him around the corner and choose the booth you prefer the most, the one at the very back. Itâs quieter, the pole built onto the tiny stage spins smoother, and it has the longest walk to and from, giving your clients the most time to ogle your ass. Your hand curls around the knob, and you push the door open. Itâs small, but thereâs enough room for maybe four people. Against the wall thereâs a little velvet loveseat with a small side table. Gesturing for Satoru to go inside, you follow him in, the door shutting behind you with a soft click. Silence stretches between you, the thump of the club's music muffled through the floorboards now.
âSooo âŠâ Satoru starts, âYou wanna tell me how you of all people ended up in a place like this?â As if. He paid for you to dance, dancing doesnât mean you have to talk to him. Heâs just standing there like an idiot though, so you walk over to him, closer and closer, until youâre toe to toe with him. The tips of your fingers find the center of his chest, and you push him back, smirking as he stumbles his ass onto the cushiony, crimson velvet seat. He stares up at you, his cocky smile faltering for the first time tonight before it flickers back into place like the absence was nothing more than an aberration. For as good as Satoru is at reading you, youâre just as good at reading him. But you say nothing.
âYou seriously gonna ignore me the whole time?â He asks, reaching up to rake his ridiculously long fingers through his messy, snowy hair. Heâs pouting again.
Next, you walk over to the tablet mounted on the wall and pick a song, something sultry, dark, and slow, with heavy bass and blatantly sexual lyrics. Warmups first, you stretch a little bit and sway your hips. Satoruâs eyes track every little movement like a hawk eyeing a mouse. Then the song really kicks in and you start to dance. First a few teasing twirls around the pole, crouching and coming back up, arching your back so gracefully, hands sliding up and down down your gorgeous body. Finally, you lift yourself onto the pole, which is where you really start to show off. All that yoga has paid off, making your body limber and flexible, and of course, constantly practicing on the poles has helped too. Satoru falls utterly silent, and when you manage to glance over him, heâs staring with an intensity youâve never seen from him before. Heâs locked the fuck in, completely entranced by the way you move.
You stay on the pole for a couple of songs, silently counting down the minutes until you can send him on his way. At the end of a particularly impressive move that has you half upside down, tits almost falling out of that tiny little iridescent bikini top, you slide gracefully down the pole, your platforms hitting the floor with a dull click. The look in his eyes is something akin to a starving dog looking at a particularly juicy cut of meat.
âWhat happened to being an artist?â Satoru asks, not giving up his attempt to get you to engage. âAll that talent, canât believe youâd waste it on a pole.â He flashes you a smile thatâs all provocation, âThought you had more class than that.â Heâs obviously trying to piss you off, but youâre not letting him get you.
Each step carries you closer to him, your body one with the music. You move like youâve become the bass, the melody, the filthy lyrics. Once youâre standing between his knees, which are spread wide across the loveseat like he owns it, youâre close enough to get a good look at him. His eyes are locked on your rolling hips, watching the way you writhe like sin given form. His Adamâs apple bobs once and his hands curl into the plush velvet of the couch. One of his fingers twitches in place when you drop low against him, your body moving like that just inches away from his. When you catch his eyes, his pupils are all blown out and dark. Heâs high. It almost makes you scoff. Pathetic. His tongue darts out to wet his soft, full lower lip and he says softly, too contemplative for how out of it he looks, âYou really donât give a fuck anymore, do you?â Itâs like the thought shocks him. A conflicted expression that you canât decipher flits across his face.
You just keep dancing and, like Hiromi asked, you start hitting all the favoritesâtilting forward to put your tits inches from his face, straighten up, spinning around, and bending over to highlight your curvy ass. Then, you take a few steps away to move more freely so you can run your hands tormentingly up and down your body, grab and push your tits together, put on a real show. Satoruâs fingers drum on the couch, once, twice, that intense expression coming back to his blue eyes.
âWhat happened to you?â He whispers, sounds confused and almost ⊠stricken. âWhen did you âŠâ He trails off like he canât bring himself to finish the sentence.
And for the first time tonight, heâs well and truly pissed you off. How dare he? How dare he sit there and act like he gave a single fuck about you when all of this, everything, is his fault? You walk back over to him, lean down to put your tits at eye level, and grab his jaw to pull his straying eyes up to your face. Tilting in further, until your lips are only an inch from his, you say softly, âYou really want to know what happened, Satoru? You happened. You and your fuckass, codependency on Suguru is what happened.â You laugh, but itâs not a happy sound. âI used to be the kind of person who could love freely, wholeheartedly, devote every corner of my heart to a person. I loved Suguru. He was my first real relationship after getting away from my shitty family.â You were so desperate to be loved back then, to feel wanted, and Suguru was gentle, kind, and so protective. Satoru took that from you. He took away your safe harbor and twisted it into something grotesque. âLosing him fucking broke me. It broke me.â You pause and look away, just for a moment, mostly to keep your voice from trembling. Drawing your gaze back to his, you say, âBut I refused to let it. Instead, I decided that I would sooner die than ever love like that again. The only person my whole heart will ever belong to from now on is myself.â Your tone is a soft caress, belying the venom in your words.
Satoruâs jaw flexes in your grip, his blue eyes wide, long white lashes catching the light. His lips part, then close. They part again and all that comes out is a husk of your name. The next song has faded into the background as you stare into each otherâs eyes. âI guess weâre both pretty fucked up,â he adds, voice still rough.
You donât acknowledge that. Instead, you sneer at him, dropping the service act entirely. âWhy me Satoru? Why did you have to have me dance for you?â The silence thickens as your eyes rove over his face, searching for an honest answer, sure his mouth wonât give you one. âThere are a dozen dancers here tonight, more, and youâve never had trouble pulling women whose time you donât have to pay for.â Releasing his jaw, you shove him back against the couch and slowly slide into his lap, your thighs parting around his legs until youâre straddling him. Voice soft, you hiss, âIf you think you can bully me like you used to, Iâm not putting up with that shit. You donât get to make me feel small anymore.â
You hook your finger in the collar of his shirt and tug him forward. âTell me, Satoru,â you whisper, your voice sultry and coaxing, âWhy did it have to be me? You want to make fun of me for my work? Is that it? Thought you could embarrass me? Make me feel ashamed of what I do here?â The finger hooked in his collar slips out and you use that same hand to shove him back against the couch again. Your palm slides up to rest on his throat, fingers curling around the column of his neck. Gently, you apply pressure, not enough to choke, but enough to be impossible to ignore. âWhat do I have to be ashamed of?â
Satoruâs heart hammers under your fingertips. He swallows again, his Adamâs apple rolling under your palm. âDidnât come to bully you,â he lets out roughly, his eyes glued to you. His jaw feathers and a smirk tries to make it to his lips as he says casually, âSaw you across the room and I âŠâ he trails off. That intense look is back in those gorgeous blues, but they dart to the side, avoiding meeting your eyes. His hands come up, like he might grab you by the hips, âJust thought Iâd remind you I exist is all.â He lets out a ragged breath before dragging his eyes back to yours, pupils dilated to the max.
âNo touching,â you remind him, giving him a mean little smirk. That look in his eyes, the taut line of his body, and that simmering expression on his faceâhe wants you. Itâs obvious. âYouâre looking at me like you want nothing more than to bend me over this couch and fuck me stupid,â you taunt, sliding your free hand into the those silky, fluffy locks of fine white hair and tugging his head back to arch his throat better into your palm. You squeeze just a little harder, enough to make sure heâs paying attention. âThat doesnât answer why Satoru. You got what you wanted. Suguru and I are divorced and I disappeared from your guysâ lives. You couldâve walked the other way when you saw me, but you didnât.â You lean in until your lips are only centimeters from his, your breath ghosting hot against his lips. He smells sweet, like gum or whatever fruity little mixed drink he was probably nursing earlier. âAnd donât you fucking lie to me,â you whisper, âIâll see right through that shit.â
Satoruâs pulse jumps harder against your fingers, his breath hitching at both your closeness and the way your fingers fit around his neck. Silence stretches between you for a moment, then another. His jaw clenches, teeth working together. Finally, he grits out, âBecause I hated you. I hated how he looked you, how you looked at him, hated how he started spending all his time with you, hated how dependent you were on him.â His hands drop to the couch again, only to grip the plush cushion beneath him like if he doesnât he might grab you. âAnd then you left and everything got so much worse.â He lets out a sharp huff of air, his mouth tugging into a frown, âSuguruâs a fucking ghost. Barely talks, barely sleeps, barely does anything but work.â His voice sounds small and almost childish when he says, âAnd itâs my fault.â
His expression forcibly lightens and he looks up at you, those blue eyes gleaming. He shrugs, broad shoulders rising and falling smoothly. âSo, yeah, sue me, I saw you tonight and I thought that if I pissed you off enough maybe youâd at least look at me.â A pause, the shadow of one of his signature smarmy smirks tugging at his lips, âDidnât think youâd fucking strangle me though.â
âOh, donât be a baby,â you say meanly, âIâm not strangling you. Whatâs a little light choking between old friends?â The joke is dry and sarcastic, a far cry from the shy repressed girl you used to be. Just to hammer the point home, you give his throat another quick squeeze, only for a second and only hard enough to remind him whoâs in charge here. âAnd why would you want me to look at you? What? Are you hoping that Iâll come back to fix Suguru?â
Satoruâs throat bobs under your palm again and he asks softly, "Is that what we are? Old friends?â Then, he rolls his eyes and continues, âNah, not trying to get you to fix Suguru. Iâm not stupid. That ship has sailed.â His expression softens, becomes more contemplative. That intense expression is back in his eyes and he says, âMaybe I just wanted to see if you were the same woman flinched at every word out of my mouth and hid behind Suguru to avoid me at all costs.â A wry laugh rumbles in his throat and he his eyes flick to your lips before he says teasingly, âTurns out, Suguruâs little sweetheart got fucking mean.â Itâs almost like he likes it. His heart is hammering under your hand, jumping out of his throat you wonder if heâs having a heart attack.
You just smirk at him though, refusing to lift your hand from his throat, but the sick bastard just leans into it more, giving you baby blue puppy dog eyes. Your fingers tighten around his throat and he fucking whines. âOh, you like it when someoneâs a little mean to you? Does that turn you on?â You taunt, looking into his eyes. You can tell how much he likes it by how his cock is stiffening in his pants and his pulse beats erratically under your hand.
He curses, his hips canting up to try and get some friction from you but you lift your body away from his, denying him, which earns you a frustrated whine. âSo what if I do?â he rasps petulantly, every inch the spoiled rich kid you remember. He has that I can do whatever I want and no one is gonna stop me attitude that you canât fucking stand. âYou gonna do something about it?â
You just laugh, bright and unrepentant. When youâre done, you just lean back in and whisper, âYouâd like that, wouldnât you? I bet youâre already fantasizing about sticking your cock in me.â Your thumb swipes gently up and down the side of his neck. The lighting of the private booth casts his fine features into sharp contrast. Beneath you, his cock hardens even more, straining against the confines of his suit pants. Thereâs a thrill to this power. Satoru Gojo used to be the bane of your existence, always treating you with some level of cruelty and disdain. How the tables have turned. Itâs been five years and now youâre the one who has him under your thumb. A twisted sense of satisfaction rises in your gut. âDonât you hate me though, Satoru?â You coo with faux sweetness, thumb stroking up and down the side of his neck again. âArenât I just some boring, pathetic girl with a second-rate body?â All names he called you back when you were married to Suguru. You lob them, one by one one, back at him now. They detonate, each one earning you a little flinch.
Thereâs something like irritation, mixed with guilt, and something you canât name in his eyes. âYeah, hated you, called you names, thought itâd make me feel better. Didnât fucking work.â His eyes slide up and down you and his tongue darts out to wet his lips. âYouâre not boring or pathetic and your body is âŠâ he trails off, his throat bobbing as his cock twitches in his pants at the sight of you, âYour body is perfect.â His hips helplessly try to cant upward again, a desperate look crossing his pretty face.
You just lift your hips again, dodging him, letting out a little tsk tsk, like a schoolteacher scolding a pupil. âWho said you deserved any relief?â You taunt, the glint in your eyes sharpening. Just to fuck with him, you reach beneath yourself with your free hand and palm the impressive bulge. He groans in response, hips rocking against your palm. âYouâre such a little brat, Satoru. Youâre so fucking spoiled from mommy and daddyâs money that you think the whole world belongs to you. Say it, say youâre a spoiled little brat, hmm? Maybe if you say it, Iâll let you come in your pants.â Youâre toying with him now, relishing the dazed, needy look in his eyes. Leaning forward, you press your tits closer to his face, making sure he gets a good view. You tilt your head and whisper against his ear, warmth breath ghosting over the sensitive shell, âCome on, you know you want to. Be a good boy and admit it.â
His breath comes in quick, ragged grabs of air. Those blue eyes lock onto yours, a desperate greedy look in them. On either side of you, his arms tremble from his white-knuckled grip on the couch. âSpoiled. Fuck, fine, Iâm a brat,â he chokes out, hips lifting to rock his cock into your palm, the fabric of his pants tented around the the straining bulge. âHappy now?â He gets out through clenched teeth, âOr do you want to humiliate me some more?â He doesnât sound remotely irritated though. No, his voice is all rough and low, the timber of it making your inner walls flutter unexpectedly.
You laugh softly, enjoying this way more than you should be. âI donât know. It is pretty fun to humiliate you,â you say cruelly, even as your hand starts to slowly jerk his thick cock over his pants. Even with the material of the pants in the way, you can tell heâs hung and thick. Your hand works expertly, alternating between slow, teasing strokes and harder ones that make him groan obscenely, âAdmit it. Admit youâre getting off to me being mean to you.â Your hand presses down harder, feeling for the swollen mushroom head through the fabric.
âGettingâgetting off to it,â he gets out breathlessly, hips bucking up against your palm. âLike it when youâre mean.â His pupils are huge and dark, gobbling up the blue of his eyes, whether itâs from whatever drugs are in his system or what youâe doing to him is anyoneâs guess. His hands fly up only to slam back down to the couch, curling over the edge of the plush cushion again.
Your eyes flick down to his hands, noticing his blanched knuckles. âYou wanna touch me?â You taunt meanly in a boo-hoo woe is you voice, âToo bad. You touch me and I stop touching you. You only get what I give you.â
âFuck,â He groans, his hips pushing his cock harder, faster into your palm. âLove it when you youâre mean, when youâshitâtalk like that.â His thick cock is throbbing in his pants, his hips working for whatever friction youâll give him. When your hand pays special attention to that swollen mushroom tip, he full on whimpers. Youâre barely even doing anything, and youâve got him leaking pre into his pants like a fucking teenager. He whispers your name, then, âPlease.â
âMmm, so sweet when you beg,â you tease mercilessly, the hand around his throat tightening as you stroke him harder and faster. Your palm is damp and sticky from the precut leaking through. In a mocking voice, you continue, âBut what are you begging for? You think Iâm gonna let you fuck me? No, you donât deserve shit from me. You donât even deserve this, to have your cock jerked over your pants by me. So, you can sit there and take what Iâm so generously giving you like a good boy or I can walk my happy ass out of here.â
âThis is fucking torture, you sadist,â he grits out. Then, when you twist your hand just right, he adds desperately, âJust tell me what you want from me. Iâll give it to you. Anything. Name it.â
You laugh, the sound cutting and cruel. Itâs a sick delight to see someone who once tormented you brought to his knees by your hands. You work over his cock, squeezing a little harder as you stroke. âNothing, Satoru. I want absolutely nothing from you,â you say meanly, pushing him closer and closer to the fringes of his sanity, âHereâs whatâs gonna happen: Iâm gonna make you come in your pants and then Iâm gonna walk out of here and never think of you again.â Another laugh, just to twist the knife as you press your palm down, working him over quick and dirty. To make it even harder on him, I whisper, âYou better not come until I say you can though.â
He groans, but it dissolves into a whimper, his hips flexing in time with your strokes to maximize friction. Those blue eyes lock onto yours again, a sheen of sweat limning his forehead, âYouâre evil.â Thereâs no anger in it though. He states it like a fact. âDonât you dare. Donât you fucking leave after likeââ The words die in his throat when you practically grasp the aching head of his cock through his pants.
You cackle, savoring the glazed look in his eyes and the way heâs begging. Itâs fun to drag it out as long as possible, slowing down right as his cock gives that first needy little twitch, pulling him back from the edge. The longer it goes on, the whinier he gets, fucking up into your palm, chasing the friction even when you slow down.
âPlease,â he whimpers, locks of that pure white hair sticking to his forehead. âCâmon, please. Iâm begging you here.â
You push him harder again, jerking him over his pants like you mean it now. Your palm is wet with how much of his pre has leaked through from you teasing him. âI bet you wanna come so bad right now,â you taunt, thumb swiping over the tense muscle in his neck where youâre still holding him. His jaw feathers and the look he gives you is pure agony. âMaybe I should torture you a little bit longer,â you tease, drawing a pitiful whine from him, his arms trembling. Another mean little laugh slips out, but you decide to finally take pity on him. âOkay. Since youâve been such a good boy, you can come for me now.â
The moment the order leaves your lips, Satoru lets out a groan from deep in his chest. His long, sweeping white lashes flutter closed as everything in him loosens at once. âFuck,â he moans, âFuck, so good at that.â His cock twitches again and again under your palm, spurting ropes of thick, sticky cum into his pants. His whole body shudders, his breath coming in heavy gasps. For a long time, he just breathes, the air rattling uselessly in his lungs. The silence feels more comfortable than it has all night. When he blinks his eyes open again, he murmurs, âDonât tell me youâre still leaving. At least let me return the favor.â
But youâre already pushing off his lap. Once youâre on your feet, you lean down and reach into his pantsâ pocket to pull out his wallet. Flicking it open, you pull out his wad of bills, count out five hundreds, and tuck them in the little bikini top. When youâre done, you stuff the rest of the cash back inside and toss the wallet into his lap. âOh yeah,â you say, giving him another of those mean little smirks that make him want to push you up against the wall and fuck you so hard you forget your own name. âStill leaving. Iâm working and Iâve got another private dance lined up,â you say mercilessly as you head toward the door. As your hand closes around the doorknob, you look back over your shoulder at him. âYou should probably clean yourself up,â you say, smirking at him, âBye Satoru. Maybe Iâll see you around, maybe not.â Then you wiggle your fingers in a mocking goodbye at him, slip out the door, leaving him alone, covered in his own cum, and begging whatever god that brought you back into his life to have some fucking mercy on him.
đ Art Credits: Credit to the love nsoda for the art in the banner
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Pairings: Aged up!Aonung x Aged up!Metkayina!OC
Synopsis: A new day has arrived and Aonung already finds you stuck in his mind. And it only gets worse each passing moment, especially when he is slowly realizing...things.
Chapter List: Where is my wife
Word count: 4.5k (not proof-read)
Tags/Warnings: friends to lovers troupe; yearning; slow-burn; angst; oblivious and avoidant mcs; mention of murder; mention of self-hatred
Note: I know it's been like a whole day since I uploaded but I don't like cliffhangers as well so here is it. And this is the part where I force you to listen to the playlist. Enjoy! For the pronunciation of name, scroll down to see the glossary.
spotify playlist: à·.â§â *â ăâ treasure of the sea [feel free to suggest songs to add in the playlist]
Chapter V â lost in the beach
đŒ âïœĄË đâïœĄË đŒ
Before Aonungâs eyes could even open, the image of you was already sitting idly by his thoughts.
Recollections of yesterday flashed through his mind, and he found your name already laid down on his tongue, waiting to be spoken. It was always like this for him. You, occupying his mind before the sun could even hit his face. But now, itâs different than before. Perhaps, itâs because the both of you just had the biggest fight of your whole entire lives, but that was not enough to convince Aonungâor at least that is what he feels.
A gnawing feeling appears once more, and it gets worse the longer you stay inside his mind.
Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this.Â
The sound of your voice played in a loop, sending him in a haunting dazeâhe couldnât quiet it down even if he tried to. Do friends fight like that, he asks himself. If yes, then why does he feel like he canât fix it with the usual teasing he does whenever you lose your temper? Why does it feel like this was something that was already bound to be broken, and that there is no way to fix it anymore? Like no matter how much he tries to mend it, it would never go back the way it used to.
He was so convinced that he knew you like he knew the back of his hand, but after what happened, he is starting to have doubts. Because how can he be sure that he knew what was going on in your mind, if he, himself, was not even sure of what was happening to him. He feels lost, as if the home he had always known was not the home that gave him the warmth he needed.Â
He stood up from his quiet position, walked outside the hammock with no particular purpose, only guided by your missing presence. His gaze fell down to the ground, his toes fiddling slightly to the sand as he silently hoped to find a trace of your footstepsâbut he found nothing. Then he looks up, his eyes travelling through the bustling crowds of his people, as he looks for a ghost cast by your shadowâbut still, there was nothing. You were nowhere to be found. It made his throat tighten, but he didn't budge from his place.Â
Then he curses himself. How dare he expect you to come when he canât even bring himself to talk to you.
I⊠hate myself. I⊠hate myself. I⊠hate myself. I⊠hate myself.
Aonung winced, as he balled his fists tight. He didnât understand what you meant. And itâs not even about why, but about how. How can you hate yourself? How can you say those things easily as if you had no value? Your voice was tarnished by agony, and his whole body felt it. He still feels it and yet he couldnât understand it. How can someone as beautiful as you could ever be related to such a dreadful word like hate? How can you say those things as if he didnât spend his life caring for you, protecting you, doing everything he can just to make you happy?Â
Again, he doesn't understand it.
Aonung was clueless, now more than ever. Also because he was so used to having you by his side. He was completely convinced that you would always be there, no matter what because that is how it has always been. That every fight would always end up with you having a smile on your face. That he would always manage to make you laugh, as if the fight from before never occurred at all. He has always been capable of doing that. Always been capable of mending things with you, despite his unfavorable behaviour. He was convinced that no matter how bad it gets, you would never leave. Because how could you? When you spent the rest of your lives together, always having each other's back? Your fates, woven together for eternity.
But that wasnât the case anymore. You have untied yourself to him, and he still doesn't understand why.
I hate seeing you so carefree, so relaxed...while I worry about your future as if itâs my own.
Or perhaps, he doesn't want to.
Because then it would mean that he had hurt you, and he is not ready to admit that. He despises the idea of being the cause of the presence of your tears, when all his life, all he had hoped for is for you to always have a smile on your lips. He knows that you deserve so much. Thatâs why he never allowed any men he deemed undeserving to get near you. He hated it. He hated the thought of others wanting you. And that hatred only grew when the clan has bestowed you with the title of TxampayĂ€ tsyeym, the Treasure of the Sea. It left a sour taste on his tongue. It made you more⊠desirable in their eyes.
And as you grew up, it only got worse for Aonung, as you continue to own up to the title given to you.
Your slender form, always dressed adoringly with elegance, always caught the attention of many hunters by the shore. It became too difficult for Aonung to keep you away from themâso he had no choice but to take advantage of his role as the future Oloâeyktan. He had warned them. He didnât use his words. He didn't have to. One look from him should be enough to tell. And they did understand, as they hurried away from his gaze, eager not to lose a limb over a silly infatuation.Â
But in doing so, he silently hoped that someone could do the same thing to him, as the realization dawned on him that he was acting similar to the others. How his eyes would linger around your body, longer than they should. How he would deliberately lean closer to you, just so he could feel your skin against his. It didnât matter if it was just a split second of the feeling of your shoulderâit was enough for him. It was wrong, he tells himself. To look at you that way is equivalent to corrupting your purity.Â
He swore he never touched metal and yet he was somehow poisonedâintoxicated by the desire to keep you all to himself.Â
Perhaps that's why he asked you to help him find a wife. He had to convince himself that he doesn't want you that way. That you were just a friend, nothing more. That he was just so used to having you around, his own head is messing him up. So, by the moment he saw you yelling at him as you called for his name, he instantly got the idea. But then you stormed off due to some reasons he can't quite comprehend. So he had to try to convince you again and just as he had expected, you agreed. You always agree, you are his best friend afterall.
It was easy for Aonung at first. He enjoyed the time he spent with you. He took pleasure in watching you teach him. Aonung was a great listener when it's important, but oftentimes his attention would drift away somewhere else. But that was not the case when it's you. You are his favourite subject. His whole attention is already drawn to you before he even realises it. So it's safe to say that he understood what to do, well, except he didnât do it when he met the first girl on the listâMeylana.Â
Despite your warning to tone down his playfulness, he still didn't. Aonung thought that if he actually succeeded on his first date, you would have no reason to teach him anymore and he would run out of excuses to see you again. He didnât like that, so he decided to flunk itâdeliberately. And to see you laugh about it, oh man, heâd never admit saying that he found the sight so bewitching. But he wanted to see it again so badly. Thatâs why he decided to go on another date again, with the second girl named Tinari. The sooner the better, he says. He had plans on how he would sabotage his own date but that was until the second girl found his antics entertaining. Conversation with her was easy. It surprised him at first, because he hasnât met any girl who finds him funny like the way you do. Not that he had any intentions of meeting girls if it werenât for this task, but that was when realization dawned on him. He had forgotten that this arrangement was made for him to look for a wife, and that behind all of it, there was an even worse act running afoot.
He was comparing these girls to you.Â
Aonung wanted to actually stab himself at that moment. He believed he deserved it.Â
This was not the plan. The plan was to make him realize his true feelings, that you are nothing more than a friend. But he was failing, little by little. So he did what he thought was best. He had to bury in his mind the purpose of this mission. To look for a wife. And so he spent the rest of his time with Tinari, in hopes of removing you from his thoughts. And as if the world was trying to test him, he heard from his sister that you wanted to talk to him. It made his insides shiver. He didnât know why but thinking about meeting you, seeing you, he felt like he might end up doing something he would regret.
And he did.
You looked so beautiful that night: Your hair curled down in a way he had never seen before, the way your eyes glistened against the night sky, your body adorned with the most grand garments, and your smile. It was so alluring, it left him mesmerizedâhe could just get lost in your eyes forever.Â
But he just had to ruin all of it.Â
In that same night, he saw the pain in your eyes, as he tried to call for you. It made something inside him ache. And still, he refuses to understand the reason behind your pained expression, because he might actually kill himself for it. But he couldnât allow you to walk away from his life, so he tried to fix this friendship once more. Only then, did Aonung realize how too late it was. He had already hurt you too much to try and even fix this.
And now that you were nowhere to be found, he found himself longing for you, in the most cruel way possible. Your woeful voice ringing in his ear. Your glassy eyes that he sees even in the dark. Your broken expression as tears rolled down from your eyes, tears that were caused by none other than him. It was torture for him, and he knew he deserved it.
Then, he dug his fingers inside his leather garment, where he found a familiar roughness. When his eyes fell down to his hand, he found a broken armband. The armband you gave to him during your youthful days together. He clasped it tight, as he felt his stomach churn. The sight of it made him anxious, as he was slowly realizing that it could be the last and only fragment of you to ever remain in his life. Perhaps, it was for the best, he thought.Â
With an aching heart, he decided to walk back inside his marui, until he saw you.
You were walking by the village together with Kiri, carrying your speargun and fishnet, as you both proceeded to go towards the ocean. He wanted to call out your name, to reach out for you, to beg to talk to him. But then he didnât, because what would he say? What can he say to you in order to fix what he broke? And if he ever finds a way to fix it, would he take the chance, even if it means he could lose you forever?Â
So stood still in his place, as he watched you drift away from his sight.
đŒ âïœĄË đâïœĄË đŒ
The rest of the day washed away before Aonung and he couldnât remember a single thing that happened.
It was like a blip, as he continued to commit to his daily chores. Discussing the matters concerning the clan, examining threats and choosing the right course of action to take for each. His body and mind responded automatically to each task, as if he was fully programmed to perform all of them without a say. His friends, Loâak and Rotxo found the sight uncomfortable. Their friend who was so used to boasting about trivial things about his life is quiet for the first time. They were sure something happened between you and him. So they asked him, but they were left unsatisfied as Aonung only gave them a vague answer.Â
âNothing.â He said in a neutral tone.
It was not nothing of course. He is quiet, for godâs sake. He is never quietâeven if he is sad or angry, he would still be talking like thereâs no tomorrow. But now, itâs as if his mouth was sewn shut. He looked like he was in a daze despite performing tasks in great detail. And it only got worse when Tinari arrived at the scene. As she strutted towards Aonung, her speargun in her hand, she greeted him with a smile. But she didnât receive anything from Aonung, not even a single look to show that he cares, as he stayed quiet while his hands worked on carving the head of his spear. Tinariâs eyes darted back to the other guys, and they just shrugged, clearly clueless of what was happening as well.Â
But that didnât stop Tinari from trying to hold a conversation with him. Asking him why he was not present during the dinner when it was him that invited her, but before she could even finish, she was met with a sudden glare.
âIâm not in the mood. Leave.â Aonung's voice was as solid as a living rock.Â
Tinari, with the other boys, were taken aback by his response. And without another word, she walked away, a puzzled expression found in her face. But she knew that that would be the last time she would ever see him. With the other boys, still shocked at what their friend did, they nudged him and asked him why he did that. They had claimed that he just destroyed his chances of finding a mate, but Aonung just glared at them as well, not bothering to give them a vocal response. With that, both guys thought it would be better to walk away from him for now, because as far as they can tell, Aonung needs his own tranquility.
So he was left alone once more, inside his hammock. He then dropped his spear and knife, his eyes looking around his home. Thatâs when his gaze landed on something. A piece of paper.
He reached over for it, and stroked its surface. When he opened it, he observed the penmanship. Your penmanship. He was not reading the names written there. He was tracing the letters, his fingers slightly brushing over the ink as he slowly brought it up to his face, closing his eyes shut. An image appeared before him, and he saw you in your marui, crossed-legged on the woven floor, while writing down these names with your delicate hands.
Aonung held the paper tight, placing it by his nose as he took in the scent of it. He pressed the material to his lips, as if he was giving it a kiss.
I hate writing the names of those women in that fucking piece of paper! I hate writing the names of those women in that fucking piece of paper! I hate writing the names of those women in that fuckingâ
He curses himself, realizing what he had just done.Â
His eyes then travelled and found the entrance, as he watched the night finally settle in the endless sky. Aonung clutched the paper and shoved it down his leather garment, together with the armband. He was about to grab his spear once more, but his hands trembled, hesitation lingering around his fingers. Then a grunt escaped from his lips. He stood up and walked outside, and out there, he realized how much time had passed already.
The stars were beginning to scatter around the sky, as the breeze began to get colder each second. He had completely forgotten about his task to find a Tsahik and he doesnât even care. He couldnât care less about any of it, you were the only thing that existed in his mind. Not only that, but he also came with the realization that he hasnât seen you since that morning. But Aonung was not surprised. It was his own doing afterall, to distract himself so that he may not look for you, because looking for you would actually send him into disarray. He knew that if he saw you, he would actually lose control of himself.
Aonung then felt like the world was mocking him. Because to want you like this is to know that he can lose you one day. And he was fearful of that. How will he be able to survive if you werenât there? But then again, if he does allow his buried feelings to resurface, what would you say? Would you accept him and his imperfect self? You deserved so much more, and he is afraid he wonât be able to give the whole world to you.Â
I donât want to keep on solving your problems for you.Â
Aonung flinched. He was being tormented by the sound of your voice again. All this time, he had taken you for granted. He never cared to ask what you feel about his requests, all he cared about is his interests. He didnât know how his desire to be near you was secretly hurting you. And he didnât know how much you had to care for him to keep all those bottled up emotions inside. You were the truest friend he had, but his heart just had to mess things up.
Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this. Iâm so tired of all this.
He squeezed his eyes shut, his left arm clutching on his leather garment tightly and in there, he grabbed the armband again. He brought it closer to his face and whispered soft words of regret.
âIâm sorry, PĂ€nu.â He says as he plants a kiss on the garment.Â
But as soon as those words travelled through the wind, he hated it. What can an apology do, he thought. What can a âsorryâ do if he canât even say it to you? If he was afraid of even saying it to you? Perhaps, he should not even try to apologize, because what chances would he get to ever be forgiven? He doesnât even think he should be forgiven, nor should he even have the right to ask for it. He doesnât deserve your kindness. He was a coward, and he knows it.
He sighs as his thoughts run rampant once more. You said that you hated yourself, but Aonung believes that it is more fitting to say that it should be him who deserves to be hated. As he wanders around, he finds himself in a familiar spot. In front him stood massive rocks, sitting by the borderline of the sand and the ocean. It was the place that marked the star of his friendship with you. He walks by the edge, and sits there. Just watching the ocean waves crash through his legs, sending cold shivers around his body. He stays still, his mind still occupied by you. But this time, it was different.
He was just silently recalling back memories with you, memorizing your face as if you were standing just right in front of him. He remembers the first time you both rode ilus together. The time he finished his coming-of-age ceremony, just a year before you. And the first time you went racing with him to the Three Brothers Rock after you finished your own coming of age ceremony. He remembers finding out about your favorite fruit, Utumauti, and spending the whole day looking for it due its unusual rarity. He still remembers your smile the moment he handed it over to you. You looked so endearing in his eyes, that by the next day, he spent another afternoon looking for another one. But with no luck, he found nothing. He apologized to you, since he had promised to get you one again but failed to do so. But even so, you still had this grin on your face. Aonung could tell that you were forcing it, but there was a hint of gratitude in itâthat he knew. Of course, he knew. He knows how you would always have a downturned smile when you are forcing yourself not to laugh. He notices how your lips would thin out into a stiff smile like you are trying so hard to be polite. He notices how one corner of your lip would curl up whenever you are going to say something sarcastic to him. He notices your fake grin whenever Raiton and his buddies talk to you, and that Raiton not having any idea of how peeved you are of him just makes Aonung want to laugh from humiliation for the guy. He notices all of it. So that brings up the question to his mind.
How did he notice everything about you during your happy moments but never during your melancholic days? Maybe you are just too good at hiding your pain, or maybe he was just a fool. Aonung was sure it was the latter.
Just then, footsteps approached behind him and when he turned around, it was Loâak. Aonung sighed heavily and returned his gaze back to the ocean.
âSorry, I disappointed you.â Loâak started, plopping down just beside his friend. Aonung gave him a weak chuckle.
âLook, Iâm not gonna force you to tell me about it.â Loâak added. âBut I just want to let you know, Iâm here, bro.â
âThanks.â Aonung murmured, his fingers fiddling with his armband. They stayed quiet for a few moments, until he decided to speak up.
âWe had a fight. PĂ€yawn and I.â He said, his eyes never leaving the water. âAnd⊠itâs all my fault.â
âWhy so?â Loâak asks, crossing his legs together.
âI⊠I took everything for granted. I took her for granted. And now, she doesnât want anything to do with me anymore.â He replied, his gaze dropping down to his hands. Just then he heard a grumble beside him, and when he turned, he saw his friend face-palming himself. Aonung, being clueless once more, gives him a puzzled look.
âYou seriously do not understand?â Loâak says, and Aonung just shrugged. That caused him to mutter a curse to his friend.
âLook, I have no intention of interfering.â He begins, raising his hand in a defensive way. âThe words are not mine to tell, but lemme just say this to you."
"If you need to talk to her, talk to her. If it ever turns into a fight, then let it be. Yâknow, maybe it should actually turn in a fight. It would make sense.â Those were his friend's kind wordsâthat is, if he's trying to be kind.
Aonung wanted to protest. To say that he doesn't want any of it to turn into an argument, because it might actually be the last thing you two would ever share, and he doesnât like that idea at all. But he doesn't speak up. Aonung only sighedâletting the idea sit in his mind.
âOh and bro, I probably shouldnât tell you this but..â Loâak spoke up again, hesitation dallying around his words as it caught his friendâs full attention. âI just heard Raiton and his buddies talking⊠and I heard him mention her name.â
Aonungâs movement halted. His expression straightened.Â
âWhat were they saying?â He asks. Just then, Loâak avoided his friendâs gaze, turning his head away as he scratched the back of his neck. He shouldnât have said anything, he thought.Â
âAbout.. Uh..â His voice faltered, still looking away from his friend. He is already regretting it.
âAbout⊠mating.â
As soon as he said those words, all Loâak could hear was the ocean and dead silence. That terrified him. He didnât want to shift his head to look at his friend, but he still did. When he saw Aonung, he immediately leaned back.
Aonungâs eyes looked bloodthirsty. His whole expression darkened as if the moon stood behind his head. His whole grip around the armband was so tight, Loâak swore he heard a cracking sound from it. He assumed that a set of beads, maybe two or three, just broke from the threads. Then he saw how Aonungâs face flexed, his jaw tightening as a vein became visible from his temple.
Loâak swallowed a lump on his throat. Oh boy, he really shouldnât have said anything, he thought.
Then Aonung stood up, his shoulders stiff and his footsteps heavy. Loâak immediately followed suit and grabbed his friendâs arm, attempting to stop him from anything he was planning to do.
âDonât do anything stupid, bro.â Lo'ak warned, which made Aonung chuckle humorlessly. That made Loâak a little nervous. His humorless laugh did not sit right with him.
âI know.â Aonung said, smirking. âIâm in no position to do so.â
đŒ âïœĄË đâïœĄË đŒ
The next day began with undisturbed tranquility.Â
You were doing your usual morning tasks. Hunting for food. Making meals. Collecting herbs. You wouldnât say that you werenât thinking about him that morning, because you actually were. You had tried not to, but seeing no success in it, you just let it be. Yesterday was awful thoughâhe occupied every corner of your head, leaving no space for anything. And after hours of being tormented by him, you just decided to remember the happy moments you both shared. It got better, even if itâs just a little. Not seeing him did help as well, because you were successful in distracting yourself.
And as another day began, you were determined to use the same method. Just thinking about the best memories. It was going so well.
That was until you saw Kiri running, followed by Tsireya. They both looked breathless while calling for you. It was an odd sight. You felt your stomach churn while your chest tightened. When both girls finally reached you, they quickly grabbed your hand before speaking up.Â
The following words made your heart sink.
âItâs Aonung! Heâs going to murder Raiton!â
đŒ âïœĄË đâïœĄË đŒ
Note: I promise I do hate cliffhangers, unless it's me doing it.
Glossary:
ilu [Ëi.lu] - large plesiosaurlike sea creature
Marui - pods built in the giant mangrove-like trees alongside the shores and are protected from crashing waves by giant reef barriers.
Oloâeyktan [o.lo.ËÊÉjkÌ.tan] - Clan Leader
PĂ€yawnsul [pĂŠ.Ëjawn.ËsÊl]: (Nicknames: PĂ€ya; PĂ€nu; PĂ€yawn): OCâs (original characters) name, which means promised love and the scent of water; a combination of the words PĂ€nu (promise), Yawne (love) and Sosul (pleasant smell of nearby running water, rain, moist vegetation)
Skxawng [skâawĆ] - moron, idiot
Tsurak [ËtÍĄsu.ÉŸakÌ] - skimwing
Tulkun [ËtÊl.kun]Â - large marine whale-like species native to the oceans of Pandora.Â
Tsahik [ËtÍĄsa.hÉȘk]Ì - head shaman, high priest, interpreter of the will of Eywa.
TxampayĂ€ tsyeym [tâam.Ëpa.jĂŠ.tÍĄsjÉjm] - Treasure of the Sea. A rare title bestowed upon a Naâvi who had successfully conquered the way of life of the Metkayina. Obtaining the title requires being a master of many important skills that a Metkayina Naâvi should have, including hunting, crafting, weaving, diving etc. Although it does not grant a position in the ranking, it allows the title holder to gain greater respect from the people of the clan, becoming an inspiration for the youth.
Utumauti - The banana fruit, also known to the Na'vi as push fruit
Waytelem (Eng. Songcord) - a mnemonic device used by Na'vi individuals as well as entire clans for recounting information, stories, and mythology.
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Summary: When Vought recruits you as Genesis, the newest member of Payback, you still believe in being a real hero. Youâre kind, hopeful, and desperate to prove you belong beside legends like Soldier Boy.
But years inside Payback change you. Missions get bloodier, your spark begins to slowly die, and your relationship with Soldier Boy becomes something you canât seem to escape... or maybe you don't want to.
Maybe you were always one of them... and maybe there's no point of return anymore.
18,819 words
!SMUT CONTENT!
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You made it.Â
That was the only thing running through your brain. After so many years of training every day at dawn, of going through crazy diets that made you dizzy and nauseous, you had finally made it⊠You were a member of Payback.Â
You looked in the mirror in front of you and, for a second, saw a little girl⊠she was staring back at you with a smile, and you remembered how much she had dreamed of this day.Â
Nobody had believed you. It was almost impossible to join Payback, and more so considering you were a woman. The world claimed to be changed, and yet you still saw so much wrongness in it⊠But you had done it. You were here, and nobody could ruin this day.Â
"You got this,â you whispered. The words echoed through the empty ladies' bathroom of Vought Tower.Â
You took one deep breath, adjusted your superhero costume, and straightened your back. Your first meeting with the team was going to start in a few minutes, and you couldn't be late.Â
As you were about to leave the bathroom, somebody pushed open the door, almost hitting you in the face with it.Â
"Oops⊠Didn't see you, honey," Crimson Countess said. She had a cigarette on the corner of her mouth as she stared at you. âAre you ready orâŠ? Ben's been asking for you.âÂ
You had to think for a few seconds before realizing that Ben was Soldier Boy's real name. It was weird thinking about the greatest superhero alive in such a casual manner.Â
"Sorry," you quickly said, forcing a smile. Your nerves were killing you. âI lost track of time.âÂ
"Hm-hmâŠ" Crimson took a drag of the cigarette slowly and then blew the smoke against your face. âMake sure to find it next time, sweetie. He doesn't like delays. Come.âÂ
She turned around and began walking at a fast pace, making it difficult to follow her at first. Sure enough, you were side by side with her as you moved through Vought Tower.Â
You looked around and saw several people in suits rushing somewhere and accidentally bumping into each other. Everybody was smoking; a permanent cloud above their heads told you how much, and some carried thick cases with files. Nobody paid you or the Countess any attention.
"Look, there are a few things I must tell you before you go in there, âkay?âÂ
You look at her and frown.Â
"One, don't call him Ben. Only Soldier Boy or sir. Understood?âÂ
"Hm, yes.âÂ
She put two fingers in the air. âTwo, don't talk back. Like ever. Understood?âÂ
Your frown deepened, and you opened your mouth to reply, but suddenly she stopped walking. You were outside the meeting room.
"It's fucking important you follow these two precious rules, okay, sweetie?âÂ
"ButâŠ"Â
"No but.â She moved closer to you and lowered her voice. âI know you are really happy to be part of the team or whatever, but you won't be in it for very long if you don't do as I sayâŠâÂ
Your heart began racing, and your palms gathered cold sweat. Why was she talking about Soldier Boy like that? Everybody knew they had been a couple for many years now and expected to be wed soon⊠And Payback was a team of superheroes. They were the good guys, right? None of this made any sense.Â
"IâŠI understand,â you whispered at last.Â
Crimson smiled broadly, but it didn't reach her eyes at all. âLovely.âÂ
She put one hand on the closed doors, then the other, and pushed them open. Voices immediately rushed to your ears as you stepped inside the room. There seemed to be some kind of argument going on.
"And what if Iâ"Â
"There's no 'I' here, dickwad. You do as I say, or I swear to fucking godâŠâ Soldier Boy's words drifted off as he saw you enter the meeting room. He had been talking to Black Noir, who, for the first time in your life, was without his mask. You realized you had never seen what he looked like before.
He turned to look at you, as did the others.Â
"Well, well, well, if it isn't our newest member,â Soldier Boy said with a cheeky grin. âAre you going to stand there or sit down, sweetheart?âÂ
His words seemed to have quite an impact on you, as your legs began to move against your will. Suddenly, your outfit was too tight, and oxygen seemed to be evaporating around you. You struggled to keep a calm appearance as Soldier Boy kept his eyes on you. And so did everybody else.
The TNT Twins glanced at each other, and you saw her roll her eyes as her brother looked you up and down with a hungry gaze. She slapped him on the arm, making him slap her back.Â
Gunpowder, who looked not older than fifteen, didn't seem to have much of a reaction to you as he quickly lost interest and started cleaning one of his guns with a towel.Â
To his right sat Black Noir, who was in a very bad mood, scowling at you and tightening his grip on his mask, which was in front of him on top of the table.
Mindstorm immediately dropped his gaze, and you saw him shutting his eyes and murmuring to himself, something that made you very uneasy. Swatto, who was to his left, noticed and chuckled, his bug-like mask making him appear something out of an Alien movie.Â
Finally, Soldier Boy, the man you had idolized all your life, the hero of Normandy, kept his gaze focused on you. He seemed to steal glances at your chest occasionally, and you didn't know how to feel about this. He had a very intense gaze, and all you could do was replay Crimsonâs words inside your head over and over again. It was like you were inside a very strange dream, and there was no waking up from it.Â
"She was in the bathroom,â Crimson said, taking a seat next to Soldier Boy. She put her feet on the glass table. âGuess she really had to go.âÂ
The twins chuckled.Â
"Well, she's here now, isn't she? Take a seat, sweetheart. Come on, don't be shy,â he said, gesturing to an empty chair next to Black Noir.
You clenched your hands, looking at Crimson, who was now staring at her cuticles, completely uninterested in what was happening. You sat down.
"Great," Soldier Boy said, clapping his hands. Some of them flinched at the loud noise. âI think we don't need any introductions here, so I'll just skip over that boring shit and get down to business. This is Genesis; she can change shit intoâŠfuck, what was it again, sweetheart?â
Soldier Boy pointed at you impatiently, and you cleared your throat.Â
"Hi!" A heavy silence followed, and you continued. âI can manipulate matter⊠Hm, like turning air into fire and things like that.âÂ
The twins made whistling noises at your explanation, clearly impressed or mocking you. You couldnât decide which option fit better.Â
"That's it,â Soldier Boy said, still looking at you. âAnything else you want to add?â
"No?"
"Amazing." He leaned back on his chair, spreading his legs further apart. âIn other news, thereâs a pussy-ass charity event coming up this Saturday," and he rubbed his eyes and yawned, "and we need to be there or whatever.âÂ
"But Saturday is our day off,â Black Noir said suddenly.Â
"Yeah, no shit. I know that, fuckface, but a bunch of fucking suited-up assholes are going to be there, and we have to charm them or whatever. I donât know the fucking details, okay?!âÂ
Black Noir seemed displeased by his explanation, but closed his mouth. He slouched further down in his seat.Â
"Now if that's settledâ"Â
"What charity is it for?â you said, barely audible.Â
Crimson winced visibly, turning her head at you. The Twins stole glances with each other; even Mindstorm, who had been murmuring to himself all this time, stopped, and you tried very hard to remain calm. This was a normal question, was it not?Â
"Do I look like somebody who would know that?â Soldier Boy dryly asked.Â
"HmâŠNo?" you replied.Â
"Then why the fuck are you asking me that, and who the fuck cares what charity it is for? It's all the same, isn't it?â Gunpowder laughed hard at this, perhaps too hard, as Soldier Boyâs smile dropped from his face, shutting him up. âAll you need to know, sweetheart, is that we have to be there on Saturday, okay? Somebody will give you the location soon enough, orâŠâ A dirty smile appeared on his lips. âYou can come over to my place later today, and Iâll give you all the details you want.â
The Twins immediately snickered at this, followed by Swatto, who made a strange buzzing noise that you took for his version of a chuckle. Crimson, however, cast her eyes down and seemed displeased. You could do nothing but feel a deep shame inside your chest and a heat rising to your cheeks.Â
"That wonât be necessary, sir.âÂ
That seemed to make him further amused, but he finally removed his eyes from you.Â
"Okay, meeting's over. Fuck off, all of you.âÂ
As Soldier Boy grabbed a pack of Marlboro cigarettes from his back pocket and took one out, the rest of Payback got up quickly, chairs dragging on the floor, and one by one walked out of the meeting room.Â
Crimson was the last one still there, and so were you, who seemed to be glued to your chair.Â
"I thought we could have a moment alone, Ben?â she said to him, reaching for his wrist.Â
"Not now,â he replied, annoyed, shrugging her hand away.
The soft smile that was on her mouth faded away, and she slowly turned around and began walking away as well. She stole one last glance at the two of you, her eyes fiery with jealousy and hatred, and pushed open the doors.Â
"She can be so fucking clingy sometimes⊠Itâs not like we have to be around each other every fucking second,â Soldier Boy said, hitting the butt of his unlit cigarette on the table with each word. He tilted his head at you. âWhy are you still here?â
That seemed to wake you up, and you rushed to get up, but he raised a hand.Â
"Oh, sit down. You are making me fucking nervous,â he replied impatiently.Â
You did as he told you.Â
A heavy silence followed until Soldier Boy got up from his chair and walked towards you. His boots echoed on the marble floor, and each step made your heart race. You were shaking now, not knowing what to do or say. This wasnât how it was supposed to go⊠This was all wrong.Â
He stopped next to you and leaned on the table, his waist towards you. Then, as you tried your best to remain calm, he lowered his cigarette in front of you.Â
"You got a lighter, sweetheart?â
"N-noâŠ" You cleared the rasp in your voice. âNo.â
"Hm⊠Do you mind helping me out then?â he asked.Â
You didnât understand what he meant for a second and then connected the dots inside your head.Â
"OhâŠYeah. I mean, no, I donât mind,â you quickly explained.Â
He said nothing as you raised your pointer finger towards the tip of the cigarette and focused on the molecules around it. You made them combust, and oxygen acted as an oxidizer as a flame appeared on top of your finger, lighting the cigarette.Â
Soldier Boy chuckled, clearly impressed, and put the cigarette to his mouth. He took a drag and blew the smoke.Â
"Cool trick.â
"YeahâŠ" you replied with a forced smile. He was still looking at you, and you made yourself raise your head and look him in the eyes. âAbout my question earlier, I am really sorry if I upset you.â
"Forget about it, sweetheart,â he replied, waving the cigarette around in a dismissive gesture. âDonât go around asking stupid shit all the time, though. Understood?â
"Yeah. Got it.âÂ
He took another drag from the cigarette and then scratched his jaw.Â
"So, whose dick did you have to suck to get on the team, uh?â
He looked like he was trying to make a joke, but it just landed poorly with you. Not only was it incredibly offensive, but you were also shocked by it. This was not the hero you had seen on TV during your childhood.Â
"Excuse me?â you whispered, clenching your hands by your lap.Â
"I'm fucking around, sweetheart⊠Jesus Christ, are you always this uptight and nervous?â he asked with a shit-eating grin. âIâm not going to fucking hurt you, so relax, have a cigarette, and smile a bit. You got a pretty face; it wouldnât hurt to see you put it to good use.âÂ
"I think there has been a mistake,â you replied hoarsely.Â
"What was that?âÂ
"I am not supposed to be here.â You jumped to your feet, knocking the chair to the ground. âI canât do this, okay? I have to call my mom, and⊠Fuck, I just have to go home.â
You moved past him, your vision spinning as you rushed to the doors. Your heart was beating faster than ever, and you desperately tried to control yourself as the marble below your footsteps turned into dolomite.Â
When you put your palms on the doors, Soldier Boy finally spoke, making you freeze.Â
"You leave this room, and Iâll make sure you will never see your mom again.â
Your eyes widened, and your palms slid down.
"What?"
"Here's the deal, sweetheart,â he began saying as he walked towards you slowly. âYou are one of us now, which means you have an image to maintain. You do as I say, and nobody will get hurt. You try to sabotage me or anybody at Vought, and⊠well, you arenât going to like what will happen.â
A tear fell down your cheek, staining your superhero costume as it fell on your chest.Â
"Look at me.â You remained still. âFucking look at me!â
You jumped in place at his shout, but slowly did as he told you. He was standing a few feet from you, the cigarette burning away between his lips.
"Jesus fucking Christ, are you crying? Oh, give me a break!â he said, annoyed. âI thought you wanted to be here. Hell, I thought you basically begged for it from what I heard!âÂ
You clenched your jaw, trying to stop yourself from showing him any more weakness, but it was proving to be difficult as your body trembled.Â
"Listen," he took a step closer to you. âI know you women have a habit of creating a tornado inside a glass of water or whatever the saying is, but keep your shit together.âÂ
You remained silent but kept eye contact.Â
"Just be a good girl, do as you are told, be at the places we are expected to be, and...â He touched your cheek, making you flinch. âThere will be no problem, okay?â
You swallowed dryly, feeling your throat clenched as if he were gripping it. Then, despite your brain shouting at you to attack him, you nodded.Â
His lips stretched into a grin, and he patted your cheek.Â
"Good⊠Now go wash your face.â He pulled the cigarette from his mouth. âAnd fucking relax, will you?"
He turned the cigarette around and put it to your mouth. You opened your lips and let him place it there.Â
"I will see you soon,â he said with a smirk.Â
He moved past you, opening the heavy doors easily, and leaving you alone with a burned-out cigarette and regret. Finally, you broke down into sobs, and the cigarette fell to the ground, as did you.Â
You didn't know which one burned out first.
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Your nose burned as you did another line of cocaine. Adrenaline filled your veins, and the euphoria you had grown to love rushed through you. Your lips stretched into a lazy smile as you straightened your back.Â
"That's it,â Swatto said from beside you as he put a new line on the back of his hand and sniffed it quickly. He shuddered as the substance hit his system. âNever gets fucking old.â
"Hm-hmâŠ" you hummed as you wiped your nose. âItâs the good kind, too. Guess Mindstorm does have a pretty good supplier after all.â
" 'Course he does. How else is that paranoid weirdo gonna function?â he replied, making you chuckle.Â
You leaned on the metal wall behind you, feeling the coldness and humidity of the surface against your back, and crossed your arms beneath your chest.Â
"What's the fucking plan again?â you asked.
Swatto dropped the empty bag of cocaine on the ground, kicking it to the side before answering.Â
"The Twins are going to zap the fuckers by the entrance, and we'll sneak in through the rough.â Fog left his mouth as he spoke.
You were standing outside an abandoned warehouse near the Hudson River. A few hours ago, Soldier Boy was kidnapped by the Chinese Mafia and brought there. Vought immediately intervened, making you, Swatto, and the Twins go there to rescue his stupid ass⊠but they failed to mention how many people were keeping him hostage and if any of them were supes. Fucking great.Â
"How did the cunt even get kidnapped?â you asked, looking at the Brooklyn Bridge in the distance. The traffic lights bathed the river.Â
"Don't call him thatâŠâ Swatto whispered, grabbing your arm. âAre you crazy?!â
"Let me go, asshole,â you said, freeing your arm. âAnd he can't hear us, fucking relax. Maybe heâs already deadâŠÂ Hopefully.âÂ
"I'm pretty sure heâs invincible.â
You rolled your eyes and scoffed. âYeah? Then how come he got kidnapped by the fucking Chinese Mafia?â
"Fuck if I know⊠I heard Stan Edgar tell that new intern, Jessica, that apparently he was unconscious at a whorehouse or some shit.â
"Of course he was,â you said with a heavy sigh. âThat still doesnât explain how they managed to restrain him for this longâŠâ
"Look, I donât know shit, soâŠâ His voice drifted off as he closed his eyes. He was receiving a message through the vibrations in the air, a neat trick he had. âThe Twins are ready to go.â
"What are we waiting for then?" you asked, impatient.
Swatto opened his eyes and stretched out his wings. They were slightly gooey from being closed for so long, and you visibly gagged, making him give you the middle finger.Â
"Hold tight.â
"Yeah, yeahâŠâ you said, grabbing his waist and locking your hands together.Â
His wings began flapping, and your feet left the ground as you were flown above the warehouse. Suddenly, as you flew over the rooftop, you heard gunshots and men yelling as the twins zapped them to death.Â
You looked down and saw a hatch door.Â
"There!" You pointed at it, and Swatto began going down slowly.Â
Finally, your feet hit the blessed rooftop, and you let go of him, kneeling by the door.Â
You placed your palms on the surface and detected that the metal used to make it was aluminum. Relief washed through you; it would have been a pain in your ass to manipulate steel, considering its durability and resistance.Â
You focused again on the aluminum and its molecules and forced them to change. They refused at first, but you commanded harder, your head aching a bit at the strain, and soon enough, they slowly began to combust. The hatch door melted around your hands, making a perfect opening.
"Hurry up,â he said suddenly as more men came rushing from inside the warehouse and attacked the Twins.Â
"Shut it,â you replied, looking inside the hole you created. âFly me down.â
Swatto grabbed you from under your arms and lifted you once more. You watched impatiently as you went through the hole and began descending inside the warehouse. You could hear voices in the distance, but nobody seemed to be around to spot you two flying down.Â
"You hear that, you stupid American?â a man with a heavy accent asked in the distance. âThose are your freak friends dying for you.â
Endless shelves with wooden boxes filled the warehouse, creating several corridors. It was awfully humid inside, and a prominent odor of mold made you want to cover your mouth and nose. When your feet reached the ground, it intensified.Â
"Go fuck yourself,â Soldier Boy replied. His voice was faint.
Swatto retracted his wings and looked at you. âWhat now?â
"Go find the Twins and help them. Lure as many of these assholes outside as possible while I try to rescue him.â
"Got it,â he replied before flying up again and leaving the warehouse through the roof.Â
You walked through the corridors slowly, trying to hear any footsteps, but it seemed like most of them were outside. You brushed the boxes with your fingers as you rushed through them and found traces of heroin inside. It was unmistakable from the molecules inside.
"Kaul-jen, thereâs another one of these freaks outside,â a man said, and you walked towards the sound.Â
"Bring them to me and do not kill any of them⊠The more we bring home, the higher the reward.â
"Yes, Kaul-jen.â
Your heart was racing, and you did not know if it was from the cocaine or fear. You were getting close to the voices.Â
"You are all so fucking dead, you commie fuckers,â Soldier Boy said through mumbled words.Â
You heard him scream, which made your breath get stuck inside your throat.Â
"One more word and it will be your last,â the man who you assumed was the leader said.Â
"GoâŠfuckâŠyourselfâŠ"
You moved to another corridor, your chest heaving up and down as you tried to remain quiet. Then, and much to your relief, you finally saw where they were keeping Soldier Boy. You stood on your tiptoes and looked over the boxes of heroin to see four men standing around Soldier Boy. He was bound to a chair, and a needle was on his arm connected to a string that ended with aâŠserum? You weren't sure what it was.Â
A flickering light stood above them, casting an eerie shadow on the ground and on the metal walls behind them. The entrance was also near where they were, judging by the increase in volume of the attack outside.Â
The leader, a man of about forty with a balding head and a faint mustache, grabbed Soldier Boy's chin and forced him to look up. Your eyes widened in shock as you saw that his nose was bleeding and his left eye was bruised. How the fuck did they manage to hurt him? They seemed like normal humansâŠÂ
"What did I tell you?â Kaul asked Soldier Boy.
Every man around them watched in silence, and you realized then that they were heavily armed.
Vought doesn't pay me nearly enough for this fucking shit, you thought. Just about then, you saw Soldier Boy move his eyes towards where you were hidden, and you saw a hint of realization in his eyes. He laughed loudly, shaking his head.Â
"Y'all are so fuckedâŠâ he mumbled with a grin.
Fucking amazing⊠Now you had to do something and quickly before they killed him.
Just as you thought this, Kaul grabbed a gun from his belt and raised it to Soldier Boy's head. You cursed under your breath and realized you had no choice but to move.
You took a deep breath, straightened your posture, and walked from your hiding place. The men immediately pointed their guns at you, but they looked caught off guard.Â
"Hiya, boys!" you said with a grin, putting your hands on your hips. âIt seems you have something that doesn't quite belong to you, uh?âÂ
More gunshots were heard outside, and then a big explosion made the warehouse shake. Your smile broadened as you heard Swatto's wings flapping and the cheering sounds of the Twins.Â
Kaul seemed to come to the same conclusion as you and took the security off the gun he was pointing at Soldier Boy's temple.Â
"You move, and he's dead,â he warned you.Â
You hummed, pretending to think for a bit.Â
"Nah⊠I think not.âÂ
You saw Soldier Boy smirk before the men started shooting at you.Â
As the bullets came flying against your body, piercing your flesh and making you wince in pain, you closed your eyes. You focused on the bullets and their composition. âBecome me," you commanded its matter, but it refused. âBECOME A PART OF ME!â
It obeyed, and you felt sweat drip down your forehead as the bullets turned into flesh, bone, nerve, and blood. They were fusing themselves with your molecules, and the wounds closed around them.Â
You opened your eyes and saw the horrified looks on the men's faces. You took a step forward.
"Stop!!" Kaul warned, his hand shaking on the gun. âI will shoot!âÂ
You raised your hands in the air. âIf you kill him, I will tear your body apart molecule by molecule until you are nothing but dust.âÂ
"She willâŠâ Soldier Boy mumbled weakly. His eyelids were dropping. âSeen her do it.âÂ
"Listen, get out of here and let us keep him,â Kaul proposed. âHe means nothing to you!âÂ
You slowly dropped your hands, your gazes fixed on each other. You considered his offer for a moment. You could take it⊠You could just leave and tell whatever bullshit story to the rest of Payback and Vought, and nobody would bat a fucking eye. Hell, you were pretty tempted to take up his offer, you realized. But then⊠You looked at his slouching body. He was weak, weaker than you had ever seen him, because of that stuff they were pumping into his veins. And something that you hadn't felt for a very long time filled your chest: guilt.
Fuck.Â
"Sorry, bald asshole, he has to come with us,â you replied with a shrug.Â
Kaul barely had time to react as you rushed towards him, and you, while he expected you to attack him, turned to the serum bag next to Soldier Boy. You ripped the needle from his arm, making blood spill from the hole.Â
You grabbed the bag quickly as Soldier Boy slowly began straightening his posture. He seemed to be recovering pretty quickly from the effects of the serum.Â
"Go!!" he yelled at you as he untied himself from the chair with ease.Â
Kaul was fumbling with his gun, but it was useless to shoot him now. The bruises on Soldier Boy's face were healing, too, and he raised himself from the chair.Â
"What?! No fucking way!â you replied to his command, moving behind him.Â
He cracked his neck, glaring at the man in front of him, who was now shaking like a leaf in the wind.Â
"Do as you are told, for fuck's sake!âÂ
You hesitated for a second before cursing loudly and running out of the warehouse. You expected to hear fighting but found none. Instead, Swatto and the Twins were talking with each other, corpses of dead men at their feet.Â
"Where is he?â Swatto asked, having noticed you first.
"Heâ"Â
But your words were cut short as you heard an ear-piercing scream followed by a ripping sound of flesh.Â
You winced. âHe's just finishing the job.âÂ
The Twins looked behind you, their faces dirty with blood, and widened their eyes.Â
"No fucking wayâŠâ they murmured.Â
You turned around and widened your eyes as Soldier Boy, now covered in guts and blood from head to toe, walked out of the warehouse. He didn't stop to talk to any of you, his eyes fiery with rage. Instead, he simply said, talking over his shoulder as he passed by you, âLet's get the fuck out of here.âÂ
The Twins were the first to obey him, walking behind him in silence.Â
You and Swatto followed, but then he gently grabbed your wrist, making you look at him.Â
"What the fuck happened?âÂ
You looked at the serum bag in your hand and then at Soldier Boy in the distance.Â
"Does it matter? He's alive, isn't he?âÂ
You pulled your arm from Swatto's hand and fastened your pace, leaving him behind you.Â
You were standing outside of Soldier Boy's room. You had been standing there for a while now, but failed to knock on the door. You weren't even sure what you were doing there to begin with⊠It was the day after his rescue mission, and you felt like a train had run over you. Taking that many bullets was no easy feat, and the aftereffects of that were now punishing you.Â
Soldier Boy also seemed to be dealing badly with what happened. He hadn't left his room since he got back to the Vought Tower and told everybody, including Stan Edgar, to go fuck themselves whenever they tried to talk to him.
The others had already moved on from what happened, although Crimson had questioned you intensely about the mission. She wasn't a bit pleased as you told her vague things, but then again, she had always hated your guts.Â
So, there you were, looking like a fucking idiot as you tried to summon up the courage to talk to him.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, you knocked on the door. Silence followed, and you knocked again louder.
"It's me!â you yelled, but he said nothing. âCan we talk?!âÂ
"Fuck off!â he finally shouted.
"Look, I just need five minutes, okay?!âÂ
A few minutes passed, and as you concluded he wasn't going to open the door, you finally heard footsteps inside. You waited impatiently until he opened the door.
"What do you want?â he asked with a slight drag on his voice. He was obviously drunk and probably high off his mind.Â
His hair was messy, his eyes heavy with eye bags, and he was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sports shorts. The sight of him like this was weird to you.
"Can I come in?â you asked.Â
He looked you up and down, a disgusting smirk on his face.Â
You rolled your eyes before the words left his mouth.
"Why? You finally gonna let me fuck you?"
"You are a pig.â
He took a step forward, eyes dangerous now.Â
"Careful, sweetheart.âÂ
You glared at him, stepping forward as well so your noses were inches from each other. You weren't afraid anymore. That part of you had died a few years back. He had never hurt you, though, despite beating the shit out of the rest of the team from time to time. You never quite understand why.Â
"You gonna let me in or what?â you repeated the question.
He considered your request with tensed shoulders until giving in and opening the door wider.Â
You walked inside his room, and he closed the door behind you.Â
As you looked around, you forced yourself not to gag. The place was a fucking mess⊠Empty bottles of whiskey and brandy were scattered on the carpet and floor, pools of spilled drink around them. His bed was unmade, with sheets dragged to the floor. But the worst of it was the table in his living room. Lines of cocaine and even heroin bags with spoons and needles to keep them company were mindlessly put there. The air smelled awful, too, like somebody had died in there.
"Are you done looking at the furniture, sweetheart?â Soldier Boy said, walking behind you.
You looked to the windows, seeing New York alive and busy as always, and noticed that they could be opened. You walked over and did just that, letting blessed fresh air inside.Â
"You took a shit and forgot to flush?â you asked, turning around to face him.
He was now sitting on the couch, doing another line of cocaine. When he straightened his back, cleaning his nose, he glared at you.
"Is this why you came here? To be my housemaid?â he asked with a shit-eating grin. âI mean, I know you females can't help it, but put on a maid's uniform at least. You know, the ones with the short skirts.âÂ
You crossed your arms under your chest. "Do you try to be a disgusting human being, or does it come naturally to you?âÂ
He actually chuckled at that, leaning back on the couch. His muscled thighs were more exposed to your eyes as his shorts went up with his movement. You couldn't help but quickly glance at them.Â
"Do you try to be a bitch all the time, or does it come naturally to you, sweetheart?â he replied, voice smug.Â
âNice oneâŠâ You inhaled deeply. âLook, I'll get to the point. Stan Edgar keeps annoying me about your miserable ass⊠Apparently, the big guys in the office aren't very happy with what happened yesterday and want me to talk to you about it.âÂ
"Why do they give a fuck? I got out, didn't I?âÂ
"Exactly what I keep telling them, butâŠâ You let the next words dance on the tip of your tongue for a bit. âYou did get kidnapped by a bunch of humans without superpowers, soâŠyou can see how that is damaging to your public image.âÂ
He scoffed. âMy public image is just fine, sweetheart. I fought the fucking Nazis, I stormed Normandy, Iâ"Â
"Yeah, yeah, we know the whole story⊠But, truth be told, some people are already talking about it on the news. It's not looking good.âÂ
His face changed into a deep scowl, and he looked away from you. He seemed to be taking your words hard, so you sighed again and walked towards him.Â
As you sat down next to him, you softened your voice.Â
"Look, you just need to come up with some bullshit story and sell it to the public, okay? But you have to do it quickly⊠You can't just spend your days locked in your room doing drugs and getting shitfaced."Â
He exhaled slowly through his nose. âFine⊠I will talk to Stan today.âÂ
You smiled. âGreat, that's all I needed to hear!âÂ
A heavy silence settled between you two, and you could almost hear both your hearts with how deafening it was. Then, your mind went back to the serum bag and the state it left him in, and you couldn't help but wonderâŠ
"Do you know what that stuff was?â you asked him. You didn't need to specify which stuff you meant; he already knew.
"No⊠They just caught me off guard and stuck me with this stupid fucking needle that seemed to be able to pierce me⊠Then everything around me became dimmer, and I felt weak.â His eyes were haunted as he spoke.Â
You nodded slowly.Â
"You grabbed the bag before we left, didn't you?âÂ
"I did.âÂ
"Any luck discovering what it was?âÂ
You felt your shoulders tense up.Â
The truth was that you had immediately rushed to the laboratory when you arrived at the Tower and explained what had happened to the people working there. They seemed very alarmed but eagerly took the bag from your hands and began running tests to discover the origin of the liquid.Â
So far, they had gotten nothing but were still waiting on some final results.Â
"No. They got nothing,â you replied casually.Â
You didn't know why you hid the full truth from him, but now it was too late. Maybe it was for the bestâŠ
Nonetheless, Soldier Boy nodded at your reply, pleased with the answer.Â
"You want a hit?â he asked, pointing at the heroin on the table.
"I'm good.âÂ
He chuckled. âYou know, I actually thought you were a little bitâŠlooserâŠsince you got here, but apparently you are still too much of a pussy to do heroin, huh?"Â
You rolled your eyes. âNot everyone is an addict.âÂ
"Yeah?" He laughed loudly. âYou think I don't see you rubbing your nose a little bit too much? You can fool yourself, sweetheart, but you can't fool me.âÂ
That made something inside you snap. Perhaps it was the shame of having succumbed to drugs during these four years, or maybe it was his fucking smug face, but hatred filled your chest.
"You have no idea what you are talking about.â You glared at him. âOf the things that⊠Oh, go fuck yourself.âÂ
"You have been growing quite a mouth on you since we first met, too⊠You're not scared of me like the other cocksuckers?â
"No. I am not.âÂ
His eyes grew darker, and he leaned closer to you. âMaybe you should, sweetheart. I don't like being insulted, especially by bitches like you.âÂ
"Tough shit,â you replied, clenching your jaw. âYou wanna hit me? Come on, do it, Ben.â Your voice became amused as you said his name. âBut I won't go down without a fight.âÂ
The tension between you two grew excruciating, and you began feeling your palms become sweaty. You had seen him beat Noir until he was nearly dead and threaten everybody on the team, but you didn't care anymore⊠If he was going to kill you, then let him do it. Maybe then you would find peace.
So you waited for him to make a move. You waited to feel the first punch or his hand grab your throat.Â
Instead, he leaned in and grabbed the back of your head, connecting your mouths. Your eyes widened in shock, and you pushed him away quickly, making him fall back first to the couch.
"What the fuck was that?!â you yelled.Â
He began laughing.
"Can we cut the bullshit and just fuck already? I know you have been wondering how it is to get fucked by a real manâŠâ He let his right hand travel to his thigh slowly before reaching for his crotch.Â
You were panting for air, cheeks flushed as you saw that he was growing hard. You wanted to leave. You wanted to vomit at the idea of fucking him or even touching him. You hated him. He was the worst person you had ever met. He made your life a living hell.
But⊠maybe this was what you deserved. Maybe this was always what was gonna happen.Â
So, you straddled his hips, making him sink into the couch, and quickly reached for his cock. He smirked up at you in victory, and you hated yourself even more.Â
"Atta girlâŠâ he said, grabbing your ass.Â
He tried to kiss you again, but you turned your cheek to him. He frowned but kissed your neck instead. As he did this, you reached for the waistband of his shorts and pulled out his shaft.
He bit the skin of your neck, making you gasp, and then threw his head back.
"That's itâŠâ he said, looking down as you stroke him against your belly.
You were still clothed, and he made sure to help you with that as his fingers undid the button of your pants and you raised yourself from his lap, allowing him to sneak his fingers below your panties.
A deep moan left your lips as his fingers found your wet folds and gently caressed your clit. The smugness on his face was unbearable, and you looked away, putting your eyes on his cock instead.
You brought your hand briefly to your mouth, spat on it, and started stroking him again.
"Fuck⊠Now isn't this much better, sweetheart?â he asked, a bit breathless. âI knew you were waiting for this for a whileâŠYou are soaked.âÂ
He wasn't lying either.Â
"Shut up.âÂ
He chuckled, and you gasped as he put two fingers inside of you. You jumped in place as he did a âcome hereâ motion with them, hitting your G-spot.Â
Your mouth opened in an 'O' as he kept fucking you with his fingers. You couldn't do anything but ride them and try your best to keep stroking his cock as well. He was now dripping with pre-cum, making a squelching sound as your hand went up and down in a rotating pattern.Â
"You are so fucking tight. Fucking virgin,â he whispered against your ear with a breathless voice. You placed your chin on his shoulder, closing your eyes in pleasure.Â
You were getting very close by the way the knot in your lower belly tightened. He must have known, too, because he used his thumb to circle your clit.
"You are gonna cut off my fingers with your pussyâŠâ He laughed in a deep, raspy voice. âCome on, take him.âÂ
You sped up your hand, making him squeeze your ass tighter with his free hand. You were sure the bruises would be there tomorrow.Â
"AhâŠAh⊠ShitâŠâ you moaned, drooling a bit on his shoulder.Â
 âYou gonna cum? Fucking whore, come on. Fucking cum all over my fingers.âÂ
His filthy words were all it took for you to start shaking around him. Your walls pulsed and tightened, your body exploded with pleasure, and you bit his shoulder hard, trying to muffle a scream. As you were overwhelmed with pleasure, you stopped moving your hand, not being able to focus on two things at once, but he didn't seem to mind as he cursed under his breath and guided you through your orgasm.
A few more seconds passed before you finally calmed down and opened your eyes. Your vision was spinning, and you were breathing heavily.
He had stopped moving his fingers but kept them inside of you.Â
"You gonna finish me off?â he asked.
You didn't audibly reply but began stroking him again, now at a much faster pace. It didn't take long before you heard him moan deeply and his hips thrust up as hot strings of cum spilled over your fist.Â
You felt him shudder slightly, probably from overstimulation, and released his cock.Â
"FuckâŠ" he whispered in pure bliss.Â
He removed his fingers from inside you and took them out of your pants. You lifted your torso and watched as he cleaned your moisture on his shorts, making you a bit disgusted.
"What?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.Â
"Nothing."Â
"HmâŠ" He smirked at you and put both hands on your hips. âI always knew you were gonna be tight, sweetheart.âÂ
His words made another sting of shame appear in your chest. You couldn't be there anymore⊠You needed to leave.Â
So, without a single word, you got off of him and quickly began walking to the door. Your legs were still shaking a bit as you walked.Â
"Leaving already?â he said, amused.
You opened the door. âTalk to Stan.âÂ
And you left without another word.Â
When you got to your room, you crashed to the floor. Your hands were shaking, and hot tears spilled from your eyes. You cursed under your breath, hitting yourself in the head.Â
You felt your stomach turn and bile come up to your lips. You threw up on the floor, gagging as more vomit came out of your throat.Â
What have you done?... Why⊠Why didn't you leave?Â
You broke down into sobs, which soon died out as your body grew cold and numb.Â
Nothing was ever gonna be the same ever again, was it?
đđđđ
You opened your eyes slowly, and the blinding sunlight immediately made you shut them again. Your head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and you were extremely nauseous. A groan escaped your mouth as you slowly blinked open your eyes again, your pupils adjusting to the difference in brightness. Judging by the position of the sun, it must have been around two in the afternoon.Â
"Fuck," you whispered, voice dragged with hangover.
You rubbed your forehead, then your eyes, feeling them burn behind your eyelids. The sheets were pulled to your belly, barely covering your naked body. Luckily for you, it was summer, so you didn't feel cold.Â
You looked at the ceiling, and, like always these past few years, a sense of doom and despair overwhelmed you. The mornings were always the roughest. It's as if you were expecting to wake up back home, where the smell of fried eggs and bacon would fill your nose and your mother's voice would accompany it shortly after, calling you for breakfast. That seemed like a lifetime ago.Â
You were somebody else then, and you are now sure that that girl is dead and buried.Â
As your eyes filled with tears and your chest tightened, you began breathing in and out slowly. It was always rough to control yourself, especially when you were this hungover.Â
Then, as if to add another knife to your gut, you heard Soldier Boy move beside you. He was belly down on your bed, the sheets just covering his calves, as his cheek was pressed on the pillow and his face was to your side. Drool was leaving his lips, a pool of it dampening your pillowcase. He seemed to be more awake than before but was still breathing softly. His forearms were beneath the pillow, and his hair was messy and falling on his closed eyes.Â
You stared at him, and flashes of last night appeared in your mind.Â
Yesterday had been the premiere of his new movie, âThe Ghosts of Hanoi,â and every member of Payback was expected to attend. Crimson and Soldier Boy went as a coupleâVought had insisted, despite them barely talking to each other anymoreâand you and the rest of the team went as guests. You signed autographs and did a couple of interviews with the press, and when nobody was looking, or you were alone, you did a line or two of cocaine. Safe to say the night was hell on earth, and even more so because the movie sucked.Â
By the end of it, and after greeting some fans, you were finally in the limousine. You werenât quite sure how it happened, but soon enough, Soldier Boy had his fingers inside you, and you were fucking him in the back of the car. He had managed to sneak into your limo, much to Vought's disapproval. You were quite sure the press saw him getting in the car, but you were too high off your mind to give a shit.Â
The festivities, if you could call them that, continued in your room.Â
Now, you were experiencing the consequences of your actions, and you were positive you deserved the massive headache and the unbearable nausea.Â
Soldier Boy stirred again then, hugging his pillow tighter and licking his dry lips. You bit your inner cheek in thought, and then the phone by your nightstand began ringing, making you jump in place. You grabbed it quickly, not wanting to wake Soldier Boy.Â
"Hello?" you said and then cleared your throat.Â
"Darling?" your mother said, making you suddenly way more awake than before.Â
"Mom! Hey!â you replied, getting up to a sitting position. âIs everything okay?âÂ
"Yes, everything is well, darling.â A beat of silence. âI saw you on the television last night; you looked so pretty.â
"Thank you, Mom," you replied, faking a smile even though she couldnât see.Â
"ListenâŠ" Her voice grew quieter. âIs it true what they are saying in the papers? Did Soldier Boy⊠Did heâŠâ
Your heart sank, and you cursed mentally. So the press did see him sneaking into your limo after allâŠÂ Shit, this wasnât good. Especially because the rumors that you and he were a couple were already becoming pretty popular.Â
"It's not like that, Mom. We are just friends,â you lied, and went to play with the phone cord that didnât exist. Old habits died slowly.Â
"Oh⊠Good! I am sorry for being silly and asking you this, but Donna came over this morning and started saying a bunch of nonsense about you two⊠As if Soldier Boy would ever cheat on Crimson Countess.â She chuckled at that.Â
"YeahâŠ" You looked at him. âNo, heâs great, Mom. A real gentleman.â
"Wonderful, darling! So, how are you?âÂ
"I'm good.â
"OkayâŠ. When are you planning on visiting me?â
"MomâŠ" Your voice was tired.Â
"I am sorry; I know you are busy, darling, but it does get lonely down here⊠Ever since your dadâŠâ
A long silence went between you two, and you sighed. âI know, Mom, and I am sorry, okay? I will make sure to visit as soon as I can⊠I love you.â
"I love you too, darling.â She was crying now; you could tell by her voice. âDarn it, I am being so silly, getting all emotional like this.â
"Nonsense." Soldier Boy shifted again next to you, and you saw that his eyes were now open and he was staring at you. âLook, I have to go, okay? Talk to you later. I love you.â
"Love you too, darling. Donât forget to call!â
"I will. Bye, Mom."
You ended the call and put the phone on the nightstand again.Â
"What time is it?â Soldier Boy asked, rolling over onto his back.Â
"Like two, I think.â
"Hm⊠So pretty early, huh?" he said, chuckling. He turned sideways to you. âLay back down; we donât have shit to do today.â
"I have to take a bath, and I have a meeting with Edgar at four,â you told him.Â
You pulled the sheets from your waist and put both feet on the floor. As you were getting up, you felt his hands grab your waist, pulling you back down.Â
"BenâŠ" you said with a sigh, but he was still holding you.Â
"Fuck your bath, fuck Edgar,â he replied with a grin in his voice. âCome on, sweetheart, just stay here for a bit longerâŠâ He began rubbing your sides up and down, making you shiver. âBesides, you look so fuckable right now.â
"Charming as always,â you said, rolling your eyes, but you did lie back down.Â
He put one arm over your belly and moved closer.Â
"Was that your mom on the telephone?"
"Yeah," you replied quickly. You did not want to discuss your mother with him.Â
"Did she like my movie?â
"I donât knowâŠâ You looked at him. âBut she did ask me if you were cheating on Crimson with me.â
He stared up at you for a second before bursting out laughing. You watched with a scowl.Â
"Oh, fuck me sidewaysâŠÂ Well, shitâŠâ He said, shaking his head. âWhat did you tell her?â
"What she wanted to hear,â you replied, shrugging.Â
"Atta a girlâŠâ he said, moving his hand to your right breast. You felt him massage it slowly. âYou still smell like my cum.â
He moved his torso up with his free hand and hovered above you. His lips were inches from yours, but you refused to kiss him. Instead, you pushed yourself quickly from the bed and straddled his waist, shifting your position. He laughed softly as you grabbed his wrists and pinned them next to his head on the bed.Â
"And you smell like shit,â you replied with an arched eyebrow. He smirked, tilting his head to the side. âWhat?â
"I kind of like seeing you on top like this⊠Very progressive and all that feminist bullshit.â His voice was filled with mockery.
You released his wrists, annoyed at his words, and went to move off of him, but he held you down by your waist.Â
"Oh, come on, donât be a bitch, I was just fucking aroundâŠâ he said, looking at your naked body up and down. âI do like seeing you like this, though⊠Not many women can get on top of me. Guess you are special, sweetheart.â
You rolled your eyes and scoffed. âYeah, a special fucking idiot for getting near you.â
He grinned and grabbed your ass hard. He made you move forward on his body so that your pussy was now touching his hardening cock.Â
"If I remember right, you sounded pretty happy last night when I was fucking you, sweetheart.â
You breathed deeply, feeling arousal form in your crotch as he rubbed you on his shaft. You put a hand on his chest and dug your nails there, making him hiss a bit. You could manipulate the cells of your nails to harden, making them seem like claws.Â
"You bitch,â he murmured, but the smirk continued on his lips.Â
You continued rubbing yourself on his now hard cock, and soon enough, arousal spilled from your entrance, leaving behind a sticky trail. You grabbed his chin, feeling the stubble of his beard on your fingers.Â
"Get inside me,â you commanded, voice breathless.Â
"Ask nicely like a proper lady.â
You tightened the grip on his chin. âFuck you.â
"Oh, I will, sweetheart.â
And he suddenly raised you, making you yelp and put both hands on his chest for support. He lined his cock with your entrance and pulled you down harshly, leaving you no time to adjust.Â
"FuckâŠ"
You felt him fill you up just right, and your eyelids fluttered shut.Â
"Always so tightâŠâ Soldier Boy groaned. âCome on, fuck yourself on my cock.â
You obeyed not because he told you so but because you needed to move. The arousal was too much to bear, and you needed more stimulation.Â
You began moving up and down at first, feeling him enter and leave you at a slow pace. Soldier Boy cursed under his breath, still grabbing your ass.Â
"Faster."
"Ask nicelyâŠâ you replied, smirking mockingly. âLike a proper lady.â
That seemed to strike a nerve, and he grabbed your waist again and made you go up and down faster. You moaned loudly, taken aback by the quick pace as your pussy contracted around his shaft. You hated to admit this, but he was pretty big. Bigger than most guys you fucked.Â
"Just like that⊠Itâs like you were made for my cock,â Soldier Boy said, seeing you go up and down.Â
You began moving along with him until he loosened the grip on your waist and let you fuck yourself on his cock. Sweat began forming on your body, glistening against the sunlight, and you breathed heavily as you felt your orgasm slowly approach.Â
Soldier Boyâs eyebrows were drawn together, and you knew by now that meant he was getting close as well. His lips were pink and glistening, his pupils dilated, and soft moans left his lips. He always looked so vulnerable during sex⊠and the contrast to his usual demeanor made you not want to look away.Â
You lowered yourself onto his neck and began kissing it and biting it. He moaned your name against your ear, making you whimper.Â
"I am going to cum soonâŠÂ FuckâŠâ he told you, breathless.Â
"Already?" you fired back, but the usual harshness was gone from your voice.
"Shut your mouth.â
"I thought youâŠÂ AhâŠâ His cock was now hitting your G-spot because of the new angle. â...You liked it wide openâŠâ
He just groaned at that, not finding any words to say.Â
You closed your eyes, feeling your breasts bounce against his chest and your clit throbbing. You just needed a bit more stimulation to go over the edge, and Soldier Boy seemed to know that as well. He snuck his hand down your belly, until he found your clit and began rubbing it, using your arousal as lubricant.Â
"God⊠IâŠâ you moaned, fucking yourself faster on his cock. Your room was now filled with slapping noises and your breaths and moans.Â
"Fucking cum all over my cock, whore⊠Come on⊠Let me hear you.â
 His filthy words sent you over the edge as you felt your orgasm finally burst through you. Your legs began shivering first, and then your mouth opened slightly as you moaned loudly. Soldier Boy followed you shortly after, and you felt his cum spill inside of you, making you groan. He thrust into you a couple of times, moaning your name until he stilled and fell back on his back.Â
You stopped moving as well and, due to exhaustion, rested your cheek on his shoulder, feeling his breath hit your earlobe. Your entire body collapsed on top of his, and your lungs heaved.Â
"Motherfucker," Soldier Boy chuckled. âNow that is how you say good morning.â
You hummed in agreement and licked your dry lips. He was still inside of you but was now softening.Â
A few more seconds passed until you grew cold and uncomfortable.
"Get off of me."
You felt his cum drip down your thighs as his cock slipped from inside of you.Â
You sat on the bed, making a mental note to tell the maids to wash the sheets, and cracked your neck. Your headache was slightly better.Â
"It's time you leave,â you told him, getting up from the bed.Â
"Jesus Christ, canât a guy enjoy the post-fuck bliss?"
"No, fuck off. I have to get ready for the meeting.â
"FineâŠ" He said dismissively. âWhatâs the meeting about anyway?â
You walked to the bathroom and said over your shoulder. âJust standard stuff, I guess.â
Before he could reply, you shut the bathroom door behind you. You pressed your back on it and put your palms over your face. You were sure Soldier Boy wasnât convinced by your answer, but soon you heard him walk to your front door, open it, and leave you alone.Â
You waited for a bit before walking to the shower and opening the tap, letting the water warm before you stepped in.
âGenesis, come in,â Stan Edgar said, opening his office door. You met his eyes and then stepped inside the room.Â
He closed the door behind you and walked to his desk.Â
"Please, sit down.â He pointed to a chair in front of him.Â
He sat down as well and looked at you with an unreadable face.
You had met Edgar a few times over the years, but you had never had a one-on-one meeting with him. Usually, the other members of Payback were there.
"Is there anything you would like to share with me?â he asked.Â
You licked your top teeth and paused, faking to be thinking, before saying, âNo. I mean, you called me in here yesterday⊠No, actually, you had Stillwell do it. Big job for the new girl, huh?"
His lips twitched into a fake smile. âYesterday, Soldier Boy left the premiere in your limousine, Genesis.â He tapped his fingernails on his desk slowly. âWhat remains unanswered is why this happened.âÂ
You shrugged. âMaybe he got a little bit mixed up? It happens when you are high off your mind 24/7.âÂ
He leaned forward, and you couldn't help but straighten your posture.Â
"This act may work on everybody else, Genesis, but it does not work on me. It does not matter to me that you are currently having sex with him, but it does matter to me how this may damage Vought's image.Â
"Hate him, love him, fuck him, it doesn't matter, but in public?â He paused for a second and then leaned even closer to you. âYou play the part we have created for you. Am I clear?âÂ
Your bottom lip trembled in anger, and you began feeling the molecules around you shift. You forced yourself to calm down, but a part of you remained rageful.Â
"Are you planning on telling him this, too, Mister Edgar? Or is the big man not responsible for any of this? Huh?! Is this all on me?!âÂ
You didn't mean to raise your voice, but had done it anyway. Edgar leaned back slowly, and his calmness only made you angrier.
"He will be dealt with, Genesis⊠In fact, that is why I called you in here today.âÂ
You frowned as he opened the drawer to his left and took out a file.Â
"I believe you recognize this?â He opened it and flipped it to you.Â
You took the paper, and your eyes widened as you saw the photos and read the words in front of you.Â
"Two years ago, you brought us a bag of an unidentified liquid that could weaken Soldier Boy to an extensive degree.â As he spoke, you flipped the file. âIt took us some time, but my scientists managed to discover the composition of the liquid, and the answer was fascinating.âÂ
He opened another drawer and took out a vial with a clear liquid inside. He held it between his thumb and pointer finger.Â
"This is Novichok. A very powerful nerve agentâŠ. A Russian drug, we later found out.âÂ
"Why are you telling me this?â you asked, looking at him.Â
"Because, Genesis, this drug is our answer to your problem.âÂ
You frowned. âWhat problem?âÂ
"Soldier Boy.âÂ
You parted your lips, shock written all over your face. âYou can't be serious.âÂ
"But I am. In fact, we have contacted the Russian government and are currently making a deal with them concerning this.âÂ
"You are making a deal with the fucking Russians?! Last time I checked, they were at war with us!âÂ
"War is growing boring, Genesis. But progress? Well, that's promising.âÂ
"So what do you want me to do?! Do you want me to fucking drug him?! He will kill me before I can say hello."Â
"Perhaps, but not if you have helpâŠÂ Powerful help.âÂ
You scoffed. âYou have lost your fucking mind⊠You really expect me to convince the others to help me drug Soldier Boy, and what?! Send him over to the Russians?! That's insane! And even if we manage to somehow pull this off, you can't simply ship him away like he isn't the biggest superhero in the world!âÂ
"All of your concerns have been debated and solved, Genesis. You have a clear path to finally getting what you have always wanted.âÂ
"I donât want this.â
He furrowed his eyebrows with confusion. âYou donât? We both know that is a lie⊠I know you all hate him, and believe me, I am growing tired of him as well. So, talk to the others⊠Convince them and then come to me.âÂ
You got up. âI can't do this. He will kill me, and nobody will agree to help⊠They are terrified of him.âÂ
"Maybe they should be more afraid of me.â You pressed your lips together as Edgar got up as well. âYou will do as you are told, or I will go to Black Noir. And I know for certain he will not fail me.âÂ
"Go ahead, Edgar. I don't fucking care; this is a suicide mission.âÂ
You began walking away, but as soon as you grabbed the door handle, Edgar spoke again.Â
"What will your mother think when she knows the truth about her daughter, Genesis? What will she think when she finds out you are an addict and fucking Soldier Boy? Perhaps the public would like to know as well.âÂ
You froze in your place, your heart pounding as he walked behind you.
"I know you are scared, but I also know you want him gone⊠So be brave, Genesis. Or die alone and ruined. Your choice.âÂ
The metal on the handle began vibrating, and smoke came out of it. You wanted to cry or maybe turn around and do something to Stan Edgar, but you remained stuck in place. A storm was inside of you, and you couldn't escape it.Â
Everything became too much, and as the metal melted around your fingers, dripping to the ground and scorching the floor, Edgar put a hand on your shoulder.
"Do we have a deal?âÂ
"Why me?â you whispered.
He squeezed your shoulder before replying, âBecause the others listen to you⊠And because he has taken a liking to you.âÂ
You closed your eyes at his words and dropped your hand. Your shoulders slouched, and your eyes burned with tears that leaked from your shut eyelids. You knew there was no way out of thisâŠ
You wanted Soldier Boy gone. You really did, but⊠this all felt wrong. This was never going to work. He was going to kill you all.Â
But if you didnât agree, Edgar would go to Noir and convince him to do this anyways. And God knows how much Noir hates Soldier Boy⊠He would agree in a heartbeat. You should too, if you were being realistic. He was a disgusting human being who brought you nothing but pain and humiliation ever since you met him.Â
So you had to agree, if not for you, for your mother. Because that was all that mattered. She was all you had left.Â
"Okay⊠Iâll do it. I donât know how long this will take me, but you have my word,â you replied. âBut how do I know if that drug will knock him out for good this time? When the Chinese used it on him, he was still awake, if only barely.â
"Don't worry about that. We are working on a very concentrated dose that should do the trick,â he replied, letting go of your shoulder. He leaned on the door, and you immediately cleaned the tears from your face, not wanting him to see you like this.Â
"Fine," you replied and went to grab a door handle that wasnât there anymore.Â
"Don't worry⊠Here,â he said before knocking on the door. It opened from the other side, and Stillwell appeared.Â
"Miss Stillwell will take you to your room.â
"The hell she will,â you said, shoving her to the side as you walked away from Stanâs office.Â
"Genesis!" he called, making you hesitate and stop. âReport to me monthly, okay?â
You didnât look at him but nodded before resuming your path.Â
Your heart began racing with each step, and the people around you blurred, their voices growing into faint echoes, as you felt every molecule in your body vibrate with fear.Â
You were beyond fucked⊠but if you didnât do this, so was everybody else.Â
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Soldiers clapped and cheered, wild with excitement as they watched Soldier Boy, helped by Gunpowder, lift a bazooka. The rest of Payback posed, making the men cheer louder. You looked at Soldier Boy and couldnât help but chuckle slightly as he grinned broadly at you.Â
"What do you say, Gunpowder? Letâs give them a Fourth of July," he said cockily, grabbing the bazooka triggers.Â
"Let's light them up, Soldier Boy,â Gunpowder replied, eyes beaming.
Then, in the sea of sweaty and cheering men, a woman with pale skin and a tight bun appeared between them. She looked at Soldier Boy, and you didnât have to be Mindstorm to know what she was thinking.Â
"Please put that down.â
The excitement visibly subsided as the men looked at her and averted their eyes. So she was in charge, you thought.Â
"Ah, wellâŠâ Soldier Boy looked at her with a shit-eating grin. âDidnât realize they made case officers as pretty as you. Weâre just having some fun.âÂ
You looked down briefly as a hot, suffocating sensation overcame your chest.
"Our munitions dump is in that direction. You are about to blow up half the camp. Put it down. Now.â
Soldier Boy continued with that stupid smirk on his lips but did throw the bazooka backwards so it almost fell on top of Gunpowder. Tension was clear in the air as he walked towards this woman who amazingly didnât show him any fear.Â
âI do like the assertive type⊠You know, with a figure like yours, you are wasted down here.â
Crimson Countess cursed under her breath and looked away.Â
Then, a voice that meant nothing else but trouble spoke from behind the woman, making you straighten your back.Â
"My humblest apologies. I am sure this isâŠdisorienting. Letâs start over. Officer Grace Mallory, isnât it?â
"Mm."
"Stanford Edgar. Iâm an associate with Vought American.â
"Do you want to explain what the fuck this freak showâs all about?â
Officer Mallory walked away with Edgar, making their conversation inaudible. Still, you followed them with your eyes and saw that Mallory seemed displeased even as Edgar buttered her up. That was his specialty after allâŠ
"That one is a fucking bitchâŠâ Soldier Boy said to you and the team. âWould still fuck her, though.â
"Thank you for that piece of exciting news,â you replied with sarcasm, making the Twins snicker under their breaths.Â
Soldier Boy looked at them sharply, and they stopped immediately.Â
"Don't be a bitch, too, sweetheart.â He walked up to you. âAnd donât you worry, I can still fuck your pussy after I am done with hers. How about that?â
Crimson Countess glanced at you, and the look on her face made you want to crawl into a hole. They all knew you two were fucking regularly; it wasnât like it was the most well-kept secret in history. It didnât help that Soldier Boy kept bragging about it to everybody you knew.Â
Before you could reply, a voice came from behind you.Â
"Genesis? A word, please.â
Edgar's voice was smooth like velvet, cutting the growing tension between you and Soldier Boy.Â
"Fine," you replied, still looking at the piece of shit in front of you.Â
He smirked cockily, and you turned your back to him, walking side by side with Edgar away from Paybackâs ears.Â
"Was he bothering you?â Edgar asked before pulling a bag of almonds from his back pocket.Â
"Why the fuck do you care?â
He opened the bag and ate one. âBecause I want you to see why your mission is essential for the survival of your team and Voughtâs future.â
Edgar stopped behind an abandoned tower, shielding you from lingering eyes.Â
"Is Vought really okay with this?â
"Sometimes old soldiers justâŠfade awayâŠâ He popped another almond into his mouth. âI donât want the details. Just do what you need to do.â
"Why now?! It has been two fucking years since our meeting about theâŠ.â You lowered your voice. âRussian nerve agent.âÂ
"Vogelbaum has a replacement.â You frowned. âJust a child, but they are convinced he will be stronger than Soldier Boy. And he can fly.â
You watched in shock as he stopped speaking and finished chewing his almond.Â
"Will the others go along?â
"Everybody but Gunpowder.â
You had tried to convince him endlessly of this suicidal plan, but he was just a kid⊠And despite Soldier Boy beating the living shit out of him almost every week, he was still too afraid to join you. The rest of Payback was easy to convince. Noir was especially eager to see this done. Even Crimson, who still somehow had a fucking distaste for you, wanted Soldier Boy gone as soon as possible.
"Good luck, Genesis.â
"If we all fucking die because of this crazy plan of yours, I will haunt you forever,â you replied.Â
"I look forward to it,â Edgar replied dryly, before turning around and walking away.Â
You tried to maintain your calm for a few seconds before cursing under your breath and putting your hands on your face. You just wanted to run away as far as you could. You had thought that two years were enough to get used to the idea of what you had to do, but apparently that wasnât true at all.Â
Before coming on this mission to Nicaragua, you had visited your mom. It was supposed to be a little heartwarming reunion after so many years without seeing her, but as you set foot in your childhood house, a feeling like no other took over you. You remember feeling your eyes watering, and when your mom smiled at you and hugged you, it all felt wrong. Of course, she could never know why you truly were visiting her, but you knew it all too well.Â
The reunion was short-lived because if you spent another second inside that house, you were sure to burst into tears or confess everything to her. Worst of all, you had been stone-cold sober. You didnât want to take any chances of her seeing the miserable addict you had become.Â
"You look so pretty⊠But skinny! You should eat more!â she had said, grabbing your face between her hands. âAnd are those eye bags? Oh darling, are you getting enough sleep?â
You broke free of her grip and forced a weak smile. âI am fine, Mom.â
And that was what you had kept repeating until you finally left. It was too much being there, and seeing all your childhood photos around the house made it a lot worse.Â
The next day, you boarded the plane to Nicaragua, and as you saw the States fade away in the distance, you sent your mother a final goodbye. It all felt silly in hindsight, but you couldnât help but do it.Â
"Ah, there you are,â Soldier Boy suddenly said, making you jump in place. You didnât know how long you had been standing there, lost in your head. âWhy are you hiding back here?â
"It's nothing. I lost track of time, thatâs all,â you said, walking away.Â
Men passed by you, some letting their eyes linger on you for far too long until Soldier Boy met their eyes, and they looked away. Swatto was flying above camp, making some of the men cheer, until Mallory yelled at him to come down. You watched with a slight smile as he groaned, but did fly down.Â
"My balls are dripping sweat," Soldier Boy said.
"I really didnât need to know that.â
He chuckled. âWhy not? I bet you are also dripping because of this heat⊠Or perhaps you are hot and bored because of me.â
You scoffed at his words, seeing the TNT Twins sunbathing as Gunpowder cleaned his guns.Â
"It's amazing to me how you have been a consistent asshole ever since I met youâŠâ
He shrugged and opened the door flaps of the tent assigned to Payback. You walked inside, immediately feeling the humidity in the air. Nobody was there apart from you two.Â
"You know something, sweetheart? I kind of like your insults. They make my dick hard.â
Soldier Boy grabbed your wrist and spun your body around so you were facing him. He held your chin and pressed you against his bed so your calves hit the mattress.Â
"Not here,â you murmured, looking at the door flaps.
But he wasnât listening; he had already moved his lips to your neck and was slowly kissing it. You swallowed deeply and grabbed his face, pulling him away so he was looking at you.Â
"Come on, donât be a bitchâŠâ he whispered with a grin. He held your waist and moved your crotch to meet his. âYou feel that?â
He was really hard; that much you could tell.Â
"I donât give a fuck. Not here, Ben.â
He groaned in annoyance. âNot even a little mouth action? Come on, just blow me for a little bit, sweetheart.â
You pulled your lips upwards into a condescending smile and trailed your hand slowly down his torso. He watched eagerly as your hand stopped by his growing erection. You palmed it, making him groan, and then, without warning, grabbed it a little bit too hard.Â
He immediately reacted in pain but did not move back.Â
"If you want your dick sucked, I suggest you find somebody else to do it,â you said, releasing his dick.Â
He chuckled and held your chin up. âLike whom? That Grace Mallory?â You couldnât help but feel that tightening feeling in your chest again. âOh? Is thatâŠjealousy?â
"Shut the fuck up,â you spat out angrily.Â
"I donât like jealous women, sweetheart. They are a pain in my ass.â
"I am not fucking jealous, asshole.âÂ
He studied your eyes for a little while, and you grew tired of his grip on your chin, so you increased the blood flow to the area, making the skin burn hotter than normal. He finally released your chin.Â
"You bitch!â he said with a laugh.Â
"You know me so well,â you replied sarcastically.Â
You went to walk away, but he grabbed your waist again, keeping you in place.Â
"Look⊠I need to talk to you about something,â he said. The grin had faded from his lips.Â
"What?"
"I want you to know⊠Ah, fuckâs sakeâŠâ He seemed to be struggling with words. âLook, I just want to tell you that I like fucking you, okay? Itâs no big deal; donât be a fucking pussy about it.â
His attempt at any showcase of feelings was so ridiculous that you burst out laughing. Soldier Boy immediately scowled at you, backing away.Â
"Yeah, whatever. Fuck you,â he said, turning his back to you.Â
"Were you trying to tell me you like my company?â you said between heavy laughter. Tears were forming in your eyes, and you didnât quite understand why. âAfter all these years? Thatâs the funniest shit ever.â
"Forget about it,â he said harshly, still not facing you.Â
"I mean, I have heard some ridiculous things coming from your mouth, but that little shit show was one of the best. I mean, after everything you have done to me and everybody on the team! After ruining my fucking life! Now you try to tell me you like my compaâ"
He suddenly turned around and charged at you, making you shut up and step back. He had never hit you, not even once, but right then you saw rage in his eyes, and you feared what it meant.Â
"You shut your fucking mouth!â he yelled in your face.Â
His fists clenched and unclenched by his sides, and he stood mere inches from your face. You could tell he was struggling with his temper, and you hated what that meant. Any other person would have had a broken nose by now⊠Any other fucking person, so why not you?! Why? Why, why, why, why, why!
"You fucking cowardâŠâ you murmured with rage. âYou canât even hit me. Pussy.â
His eyes trembled as he looked at yours, and you felt tears drip down your cheeks. You were shaking all over, and hot and pure anger consumed your body. You needed to get rid of him⊠You were the only one who could.Â
But then what? You would be alone⊠You would never hear his stupid insults or feel him fuck you so good. That selfish and insane line of thought made you want to throw up.Â
Oh GodâŠwhat had he done to you? Had he really broken you so badly?
"I hate you,â you whispered.Â
"I know.â
And then you were kissing him.Â
His lips were softer than you had expected but salty from your tears. The kiss was gentle despite everything, and when you pulled away, you felt his warmth linger there.
You didnât tell him anything else. Instead, you walked past him and opened the door flaps to be met with the burning sun outside.Â
You knew what you had to do. And you were going to see it done today.Â
âListen up,â you told the rest of the team. Soldier Boy was too busy talking to Mallory to be there, and Gunpowder was obsessively cleaning his guns outside the tent. âSwatto, I need you to fly up one more time. Thatâs the signal for the Reds.â
He nodded.Â
"Then, they will attack the camp, and while everybody is distracted fighting, you two attack him, okay?" you said to the TNT Twins. âThat should weaken him enough for us to hold him down andâŠâ You lowered your voice. âPut the gas mask on his face.â
"And you are sure this gas will do the trick?â Noir asked, looking at the gas mask on your hand.Â
Edgar had finally given it to you a few minutes ago. He had said nothing else, just simply handing you the weapon like it was a piece of candy.Â
"Yes," you lied.Â
They could never know that you had no idea if the dosage was high enough to knock him out now. They would never agree to do this if they knew.Â
"And if we all die?â Mindstorm asked nervously.Â
You shrugged. âThen at least we tried.â
"Fuck it, count me in,â Crimson said.Â
"Me too,â Noir said.Â
The rest of the team nodded.Â
"Okay⊠Swatto, you know what to do.âÂ
He walked up to you and stretched his hand. You grabbed it. âIf we end up getting ass fucked today, at least we will go down with a bang.â
You laughed slightly, shaking his hand. âFuck yeah.â
Swatto released your hand and walked away.Â
You could feel your heartbeat increasing as he stopped in the middle of the camp and began gaining height. Mallory was talking to a man nearby when suddenly the Russians attacked. You were expecting that, but seeing the first missile hit the ground and explode made you gasp in shock.Â
"Okay! Go!â you said to the team.Â
They began running past you, joining the chaos that had emerged around the camp. Men began dropping like flies, their guts and blood spilling on the floor, and you almost vomited at the sight. Mallory was shouting orders, and when Crimson accidentally killed some of her men, she yelled at her instead.Â
You looked up at Swatto and almost screamed to warn him, but it was too late; a missile had just struck him in the air, making him explode everywhere.Â
"Fuck!" you cursed under your breath. Swatto was goneâŠ
Then, in the middle of the horrible chaos around you, you saw Soldier Boy fighting the Russians. They had invaded the camp, it seemed, and now it was the time to act.Â
You ran to the Twins first, and luckily, Mindstorm was with them. Bullets hit your body as you moved past the fighting, and you groaned in pain as you tried to dissolve them into your body.Â
"Where are Noir and Crimson?!â you yelled as Gunpowder used the machine gun like a maniac.Â
"Oh fuck, I donât know!â Mindstorm said, covering his ears in pain.Â
"Fuck! Okay, stay with me, come on!â you yelled.Â
They followed closely behind you as you ran through the camp, dodging attack after attack. Luckily for you, you spotted Noir and Crimson together. They were breathless and covered in guts.Â
Noir had forgotten to put on his mask, it seemed, and the sight of his face filled with fear was new to you.Â
"We need to attack him now!â you told them. âCorner him into a circle⊠On three, ready?â
They looked at you anxiously as you breathed in and out.Â
"OneâŠ" You saw Soldier Boy beat a man to death. âTwoâŠâ He lifted his head and looked at you from a distance. âThree!â
You all ran towards him.Â
Noir got there first, standing in front of him with a look of pure hatred on his face. Mindstorm and the Twins stood by his side, and you and Crimson blocked his path from behind.
"What the fuck is this?!â Soldier Boy asked.Â
"Something we should have done a long time agoâŠÂ You piece of shit.â
The Twins held hands quickly as you looked at them, giving them their signal.Â
"TNT detonate!âÂ
A burst of energy came from their palms and hit Soldier Boy hard, making him fall.
Mindstorm punched him in the face as he tried to get up, and Noir followed him, beating Soldier Boy with heavy blows to the head. You and Crimson watched as the Twins joined and began kicking and punching him on the floor.Â
You grabbed the gas mask tighter and shared a glance with Crimson. Surprisingly, she smiled, and you couldnât help but smile back.Â
"Hold him down!â
And thatâs when all hell broke looseâŠÂ
Soldier Boy managed to release himself from their hold and push them back. You stepped back in horror as Noir charged at him but missed, making Soldier Boy grab him by the throat. He lifted him into the air and walked his struggling body to a burning car nearby. You tried to help him, but Crimson held your wrist.Â
"He's already dead,â she told you.
"Fuck that! We have to help him!â you yelled in horror as Soldier Boy pressed Noirâs head to the scorching metal of the car. He screamed in agony, and Soldier Boy, being the merciless piece of shit he was, began hitting his skull with his shield until half of his brain was spilling out.Â
"No!" you yelled, releasing yourself from Crimsonâs grip. âGet him, Mindstorm.âÂ
Soldier Boy turned around to face you and then fell to his knees with a scream as Mindstorm began controlling his mind.Â
"Don't let go!â you yelled at Mindstorm as you ran towards Soldier Boy.Â
You jumped in the air and landed on his back, pushing the gas mask over his mouth. Soldier Boy was still struggling and yelling, and you pressed the release trigger on the mask, making the nerve agent flow into his throat.
You held on to him, both hands on his chest, as he began coughing and slowly dropping to the ground. It was working⊠it was fucking working.Â
"NoâŠÂ PleaseâŠâ Soldier Boy whispered. Nobody could hear him but you. âGenesis⊠PleaseâŠâ
You fell with him as his eyes closed and his body went numb. Only when he seemed to be completely knocked out did you get up.Â
"Fuck you, motherfucker!â Crimson said and spat at his body.Â
You stepped back and stared at Soldier Boy. Despite the smell of burning meat, blood, and guts around you, he slept quietly on the ground. The rest of Payback took their turns cursing him out, but you only stood there motionless.Â
"Call Edgar⊠I need him to bring the Reds,â you managed to say. âAnd somebody get a doctor to take a look at Noir.â
They immediately obeyed as they each rushed through the camp. It seemed like the fight was finally dying out, and now you only heard the screams of agony around you.Â
You walked towards Soldier Boy and knelt next to his face. His breath fogged up the mask as he slowly breathed, and you put your hand on the hairs that had fallen over his eyes. You pushed them back.
"I am sorryâŠâ you whispered, fighting back tears. âBut you were killing me.âÂ
You sat on the ground near him, watching over him silently, tears streaming down your face. He didnât make a move once or even a sound, and when the Russianâs helicopter hovered above you, and the Reds lifted his body from the ground on a stretcher, you watched as he disappeared.
Edgar had finally arrived and was standing behind you. People were rushing to Noir, who, surprisingly, was still alive.Â
"Well done, Genesis,â Edgar said.Â
"What are they going to do with him?â you asked hoarsely.Â
"I donât know,â he confessed.Â
You sniffed and cleaned your nose with the back of your hand.Â
"What if they release him one day? He will come for us and kill us all.â
"It was part of the deal that Soldier Boy can never be released from captivity. As long as we or the public knows, he died in a nuclear power plant meltdown to save America. Understood?â
You chuckled weakly. âAye aye, captain.â
"Speaking of captains, you have been promoted to the leader of Payback until the boy is ready to take command.â
"The boy?â You looked at Edgar. âYou mean the lab freak Vought created?â
"That is correct. Our plan has always been for the child to become our greatest superhero. And if we succeed in raising him, he will become much more docile than Soldier Boy.âÂ
You parted your lips in shock. âYou people are monsters.â
Edgar simply smiled. âNo, Genesis, we are corporate men. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some things to discuss with Officer Mallory. I heard she has finally woken up.â
You stared at the ground, blood staining the sand, and put your face between your palms. You tried to breathe in and out slowly, but it wasnât doing the trick. The only thing running through your mind was Soldier Boyâs last words.Â
He had sounded so afraidâŠ
You hated yourself for feeling pity for that piece of shit. You really did.Â
But you had done it. It was finally over, and there was nobody left to torment you.Â
So, you got up slowly and walked back to the tent. You ignored the mutilated men on the ground as you moved past them. They meant nothing to you. They were justâŠcollateral.Â
When you finally got inside the tent, moving open the flapping doors, you found Payback inside. They were covered in bruises and exhausted.Â
"Swatto is dead, Noir is a vegetable by the looks of it, and Soldier Boy is gone,â you announced.Â
Crimson covered her mouth with her hands. Gunpowder looked down in shame as you talked. Even if he had taken no part in your plan, he had also done nothing to stop it.
"Edgar told me I am to lead the team from here on now,â you said. Your voice sounded foreign to you.Â
Where had you heard it before?
"What?" Crimson said. âWhy you? It should be one of the older members.â
"You got a problem, Crimson?â you asked, walking towards her.Â
"Hm, yes?! Why should it beâ"
You grabbed her throat suddenly, making her shut up and gasp for air.Â
"Edgar has made me your team leader, so you will shut your fucking mouth and do as I say from this day until your last fucking day. Am I clear?!â
She nodded desperately, clawing at her closing throat.Â
"Good."
You released her, and she fell to the ground. You ignored her heavy gasps for air as you looked at the rest of the team.Â
"Now if anybody else has something they want to say, now itâs the timeâŠâ They looked down at their feet. âNo? Good.â
You crossed your arms beneath your breasts.Â
"Get some sleep. We leave Nicaragua in the morning.â
One by one, they stood up and moved to their beds. You felt their eyes on youâŠÂ their hatred⊠But you felt nothing at all.Â
The girl who had dreamed of doing good was dead and buried, and what was left of her was an emotionless puppet. You could never escape Vought. You could never escape what you did to Soldier Boy.Â
You still felt his lips against yours as you stood there.Â
You felt his hands over your body.Â
He had consumed you until a shell remained. And now there was nothing else but hatred inside of you.Â
All heroes needed a villain.Â
And that was who you were going to be for the rest of your life.Â
đđđđ
Soldier Boy swallows the sweet and acidic liquid, letting it simmer down his throat for a second too long. It tastes like back then. Perhaps the only thing that remained the same.Â
 âWhoa⊠That brings me back.â He pours himself another glass. âUsed to sneak my dadâs Manhattans when I was a kid.â
 âI didnât have to nick nothinâ from my old man. He used to get me and me little brother lagered just for the hell of it.â
 âWell, I got to admit, that does sound funny.â He chuckles. âThe old man still around?â
 Butcher looks at him. âArse cancer.â His phone starts vibrating as Soldier Boy takes another sip of his drink. âShitting his guts out as we speak, one hopes.â
 Soldier Boy stares at the phone and, despite not knowing much about them, he manages to read the name âGrace Malloryâ on the bright screen before Butcher takes off the back case and dismantles it, it seems. He doesnât comment on it. Soldier Boy knows Butcher keeps secrets from him, but at this point, he doesnât care anymore. What if heâs working with the pretty officer from Nicaragua? The world is a funny place, alright.Â
 âYou ever see The Soldier Boy Story?â
 âMust have missed it,â Butcher replies.Â
 âItâs a classic. We lost Best Picture to An American in Paris that year. At least I got to ass-fuck Jane Wyman in the coat check⊠Itâs about a poor kid from the streets of South Philly. Discovers heâs got incredible powers to match his heart of gold.â
 He remembers watching it for the hundredth time with Genesis back at his old room in the Tower. He remembers her hysterical laughs whenever he was on screen and how much she made sure to say, âYou are a shitty fucking actor." He lets the memory linger in his mind before returning his attention to Butcher.Â
 âItâs all bullshit.â
 âBlimey, you donât say.â
 Soldier Boy looks at Butcher. In more ways than one, he and Genesis are very alike. Maybe thatâs why he has agreed to do this⊠Not that he would ever admit that to himself.Â
 âActually, my father owned half the steel mills in the state. I went to boarding school. Got kicked out of boarding school. Because I was a fuck-up. But he made sure I knew it.â
 âUse the belt, did he?â
 Soldier Boy actually laughs at Butcherâs guess.Â
 âNever laid a hand on me. He couldnât be bothered⊠Said I was a disappointment⊠Not good enough to carry his name. So I went to his golf buddies in the War Department, and they got me into Dr. Vought's Compound V trials.â
 He can still remember the pain he felt as if he were feeling it right now.Â
 âI became a superhero. Strongest man alive. Fucking ticker tape parades when I came home.â
 âAnd what did the old man say then?â
 Soldier Boy smiles, but it doesnât reach his eyes. âAhâŠÂ He said I took a shortcut. That a real man wouldnât have cheated.â
 He can still see his piece-of-shit father standing in front of him as he speaks. The dead cunt hasnât been around for a very long time, but yet heâs always thereâŠwatching himâŠjudging himâŠÂ
 âMmâŠâ He clears his throat. âWhat about you? You got kids?âÂ
 âItâs complicated.âÂ
 âI always assumed I had a few out there. Somewhere. I always wanted themâŠâCause I thought I could do it better than my father did.â
 âHomelander ainât yours⊠Not really,â Butcher says with a harsh voice.Â
 âHeâs the only blood Iâve got left.âÂ
 âIt donât matter. You didnât name him or raise him. Vought grew him in a fucking test tube to take your place. Heâs the fucking reason they left you to rot with the Ivans.â
 Soldier Boy tightens his jaw at that. Homelander wasn't the only reason they did that⊠He knows that now more than ever.Â
 âLook, mate. We had a deal.â
 Soldier Boy finishes his drink.Â
 He knows what he promised Butcher, and he knows what has to be done, but thereâs something else he needs to do before. Something he should have done the minute he set foot in America.Â
 âIâm gonna get some air.âÂ
 He gets up and puts the empty glass on the table. As he walks away, he can feel Butcherâs eyes piercing his back, but he doesnât care.Â
 He knows where he needs to go⊠and he isnât going to let anybody stop him.Â
âŹâââââââââââ§âââââââââââŹÂ Â
You open your fridge and are met with a rotting smell, making you wince. It has been way too long since you actually cooked or bought groceries, so despite gagging at the smell, you arenât surprised by it. You take out a beer from inside and close the damned fridge again.Â
 The apartment you are renting is a mess. There are empty beer bottles everywhere, your bed hasnât been made in weeks, and the table in front of the couchâwhich is stained with substances you canât even begin to guessâis covered with forgotten lines of cocaine. A few empty syringes and now cold spoons lie below it, scattered on the floor.
 You drink your cold beerâat least the fridge still works properlyâand grab the television remote. You have the TV connected to your phoneâs Bluetooth so you can listen to the music you want to. A cool trick somebody dear to you once taught you.Â
 You turn up the volume on the TV with the remote and then throw it onto the couch as you begin dancing around, high off your mind. But the lyricsâŠoh man, no drug can make you forget them.Â
 âCarry on, my wayward son! Thereâll be peace when you are done! Lay your weary head to rest!â You spill the beer everywhere as you move around frantically. âDonât you cry no more!"
 You start playing an imaginary electric guitar, smiling as you spin around. The song continues, but you are dizzy now, almost throwing up, so you fall on the couch, landing on top of the remote and accidentally turning off the TV. Awful silence follows. Your heavy breaths accompany it.Â
 You look at the ceiling, seeing the stains of water from the apartment above (stupid Ruby and her fucking washing machine). Your body aches everywhere, but the physical pain is nothing compared to the one inside you.Â
 Crimson is dead⊠The Twins are dead⊠Mindstorm is dead⊠Noir hasnât really been alive sinceâ
 âStop!â you yell, putting your hands over your ears.Â
 You are going to be sick very soon; you can feel your stomach turn and your mouth water. You have to make it stop again⊠That has always been the way with you. Always? Has it really? You canât remember anymore.Â
 Maybe the answer to that died with your mother.Â
 âAnd then there was oneâŠâ you whisper, chuckling like a madwoman.Â
 You sit on the couch, feeling your head pound, and do another line of cocaine. God, you wish you had some Temp V with you again⊠That stupid fuck Popclaw got herself killed, so no more of that.Â
 Now itâs up to you to make some money to pay off rent and the fucking drugs andâŠÂ Oh, what are you thinking? You arenât going to be alive for very much longer, are you? He is coming for you⊠You know he is.Â
 Thereâs a finality in the storm outside, you realize as you look at your window. The clouds are too heavy and the thunder too bright. This is judgment day.Â
 Your couch starts melting underneath your ass, and you curse loudly, making it stop. Almost pushing fifty and still a fuckup with your powersâŠÂ Pathetic.Â
 âI knew you would be here.â
 Your eyes widen at the sound of the familiar voice. Your heart stops then, and you are sure you are dead already. But you arenât, and heâs still standing behind you.Â
He must have broken the door, but you were too busy looking at the clouds to realize it.Â
 âHello, BenâŠâ you whisper, defeated.Â
 You hear his footsteps walking around you until heâs in front of you. You take a few seconds to lift your gaze and meet his face. He hasnât changed. But you have.Â
 âHello,â he replies. âA little birdie told me where to find you right before I bashed his head in with my shield⊠He told me a lot of things, actually.â
 You canât help but laugh.Â
 âSomething funny?â
 You cross your legs and lean back on the couch before replying, âWhy am I still alive, Ben? You could have killed me ages ago⊠I am not hard to find; just use fucking Google, and you will see I patrol this area of New York now.â
 He looks at you with an unreadable expression and then walks in your direction, making you straighten your posture. He sits down next to you, and you canât help but move back a bit.Â
 âI know all about what you have been doing now, sweetheart. I know you got kicked off the team before it was dismantled. I know how Vought shat on your throat and called it dessert. I know you film pornos and sell them for a few bucksâŠâ
 You feel a pit form in your stomach as he speaks.Â
 âI donât need to Woogle it or whatever it is to know these things, sweetheart. I mean, look around,â he says, chuckling. âYou live in a shithole.â
 âI wouldâve cleaned up if I knew you were coming,â you reply with sarcasm.Â
 He hums, smiling a bit before inhaling deeply.Â
 âYou know. I told Butcher you werenât worth killing. I told him that once Homelander was dead, I would perhaps deal with you.â
 âWhat? Homelander?! You are going to fucking kill Homelander?!â you ask, widening your eyes.Â
 âBeside the point, sweetheart,â he replies dismissively. âMy point is, look at you, sweetheart⊠You sold me to the fucking Reds, and for what? I was tortured daily⊠andâŠâ His eyes begin trembling. âI waited for you. I thought that despite everything, you were going to save meâŠâ
 âSave you?â you say, laughing. âI fucking hated you.â
 He studies your face for a few minutes and then brings his hand to your collarbone. You flinch at the touch, but do nothing as he wraps his fingers around your throat. He doesnât put pressure; he just rests them there.Â
 You are sure he can feel how fast your heart is beating.Â
 âNo, sweetheart, you hated yourself⊠Which is as good,â he states.
 You put one hand over his wrist and tighten your jaw. He arches an eyebrow, begging you to try and make him let go, but you merely put your hand over his.Â
 âCome on. Do it. Fucking choke me to death,â you whisper defiantly, pressing your throat over his fingers.Â
 He frowns at your eagerness but does apply pressure to your windpipe, making you gasp. He has never hurt you like this⊠and now that itâs finally happening, you are glad. How fucking sick is that?
 You close your eyes, expecting death. You are going to be free at lastâŠ
 Mom, wait for me.Â
 But he does not satisfy your wishes. Instead, he pulls you to him and presses his lips to yours. The gesture is so revolting you want to vomit, but kiss him back instead.Â
 You put one hand on the back of his head, pulling his hair and making him groan into the kiss. Your body is burning up, and not because of the alcohol and cocaine in your blood.Â
 âFuck me, Ben⊠Like old timesâŠâ you whisper into his mouth.Â
 He immediately responds, grabbing your waist and hoisting you up until you are sitting on his lap. You break the kiss and start unbuttoning his suitâs belt as quickly as you can.Â
 For once, Soldier Boy doesnât say anything as you manage to sneak your hand inside and find his hard cock. When you grab it, he curses your name, and you feel your heart flutter.Â
 âSay it again,â you tell him.Â
 You pull his cock out and spit on the head before stroking him quickly. Your eyes lock, and you grab his hair again, tilting his head back. He moans your name, digging his fingers roughly into your ass. Luckily, you are wearing a pair of sports shorts, easy enough to pull to the side.Â
 âGet inside of me,â you say, pressing your mouth to his.Â
 He doesnât need to be told twice as he lifts you and you line his cock with your entrance. You are so wet that his cock slides in easily, making your mouth open. You press your cheek against his, shutting your eyes in pleasure as you sit on him, until heâs all the way inside.Â
 âYou missed that?â he asks. âYou missed my fucking cock?!â
 âYes⊠Oh, fuck yes,â you whisper.Â
 He almost growls at that, making you flinch despite yourself. Heâs still burning up with rage, but like you, he couldnât help himself. It has always been like this between you two⊠Guess some things never change.Â
 âI am going to fuck you so hard your pussy will remember every inch of my big fucking cock,â he says.Â
 Soldier Boy grabs your waist again and then flips you to the side. Your back hits the couch roughly, making you gasp. He doesnât give you any time to react as he begins fucking you hard and fast, making you moan loudly.
 You wrap your hands on his back and lock your feet above his body so heâs deep inside of you. You donât want to let go⊠He smells like cigarettes and whisky. He smells of regret and pain. Oh, you want him to kill you.Â
 âBenâŠAhâŠBenâŠâ you moan with each thrust.Â
 Heâs breathing and groaning against your shoulder, but lifts his head and presses a filthy kiss on you. Your tongues dance with each other, but his wins, making you grin.Â
 âYour pussy belongs to me.â He bites your bottom lip hard. âYou belong to me. Say it.â
 âIâŠAh⊠Fuck youâŠâ
 âSAY IT!â he yells suddenly.Â
 You can feel your orgasm very close now, and you do everything in your power to open your eyes and meet his. Heâs breathless⊠Lips red and glossyâŠÂ
 You feel him slow down a bit, the sticking and wet sounds coming to a halt as he fucks you gently. You cup his jaw, feeling the beard tickle your fingers. He looks like a puppy, nudging your hand and begging for more.Â
 He looks so humanâŠÂ Piece of shit, how dare he?
 âI love you,â you find yourself saying.Â
 You feel the last remaining part of you shatter. There isnât any of you now. Thereâs only disgust and shame.Â
 You have sold your soul, and thereâs no getting it back.Â
 âI know,â is all he replies before resuming his pace again.Â
 You feel hot tears spill from your eyes as your orgasm rips through you. Your back arches, and your walls contract around his shaft until heâs cumming deep inside of you. You are sure he whispers something in your ear as he cums, but you were too far gone to listen to it.Â
 He doesnât clean you when he removes himself from you. You simply get up from the couch, watch as he puts his softening cock back inside his pants, and walk to your bedroom. Your movements are mechanical as you change your shorts and panties. You donât feel anything.
 Just when you return to the living room, you come to your senses. Heâs holding his knife now, the one with the stupid eagle on the handle that you have always hated. You have seen so many people be gutted with itâŠÂ
 âSo this is it, uh?â you say.Â
 âEnd of the line, sweetheart.â
 You nod, defeated, and walk to your death. He raises the blade, aiming it for your throat.Â
 âMake it quick, will ya? I would hate making the maids clean off my guts from the floor.â
 He doesnât even chuckle at your joke, making your chest tighten.Â
 You close your eyes.Â
 He steps forward.Â
 You take your last breath andâŠÂ
 âMom?! What is going on?â
 You snap open your eyes; dread fills you as you see your son standing outside your apartment door. He looks at Soldier Boy and widens his eyes in shock.Â
 âAidan, noâŠ" you say, running to him.Â
 Soldier Boy is quicker, putting himself in front of you and blocking the path. His back is to you.Â
 âWell, come on in, Aidan,â he says.Â
 âNot him,â you say, grabbing Soldier Boyâs wrist. âFucking kill me, but leave him out of this!â
 He releases himself from your grip easily. âI said, come in, Aidan. "
 You look over Soldier Boyâs shoulder to see your son hesitatingly stepping into your apartment, his eyes going from you to Soldier Boy. Heâs holding a bag of groceries, bless his heart. He places it down.
 âI tried to call you, but it wasnât going through,â he tells you slowly. You can see heâs terrified.Â
 âAidan, leave. Now,â you say, moving past Soldier Boy.Â
 You put yourself between your son and him, and look at Soldier Boy.Â
 âWhat year were you born, boy?â he asks Aidan, but his eyes are on you. Anger and shock are clear on his face.Â
 âDonât answer him.â
 âMom, what the fuck is going on? Why is Soldier Boy in your apartment?!â Aidan asks, grabbing your arm.Â
 âI am not a patient man, Aidan,â Soldier Boy says, stepping closer to you both. He points the knife at Aidan. âWhat year?â
 Aidan looks at the blade and then at him. â1984.â
 Soldier Boyâs face drops, and you feel despair take hold of you. He knows⊠Itâs written all over his face.Â
 âHow could you?â Soldier Boy asks you. He steps forward. âWe could have been a family. We⊠I wouldâve raised him to be a man!â
 âGet the fuck out of my house,â you say.Â
 âBoy,â he calls to Aidan, pointing the knife at him again. âYou got any powers?â
 âIâŠâ He clears his throat. âNo.â
 âAidan, go home right now,â you say again, making him look at you.Â
 âDoes he know?â Soldier Boy asks. âBoy, do you know who your father is?â
 âAidan⊠PleaseâŠâ you whisper, feeling your bottom lip tremble.Â
 Aidan ignores your pleas, directing his attention back to Soldier Boy. He puffs out his chest and tries to look tougher than he is. Stupid boy.
 âI think you should go," he says.
 Soldier Boy takes another step forward and places his hand on Aidanâs shoulder.Â
 âItâs a shame that Iâve missed⊠so much. I wish I couldâve raised you and taught you, father to son.â
 Aidanâs eyes widen at that. You grab his hand, interlocking your fingers. He's shaking.
 âMaybe if Iâd raised you, I could have made you better⊠And not some weak, powerless pussy, trying to act like a man. But thereâs no fixing that now.â
 âYou⊠are my dad?â Aidan whispers, horrified.Â
 âYesâŠand you are a fucking disappointment.âÂ
 You donât have time to react as Soldier Boy drives the blade into your sonâs stomach. A piercing shriek comes out of your mouth as he twists the blade, making Aidan cry out in pain and fall to his knees. Soldier Boy pulls the knife out, leaving behind a pool of blood.Â
 âNO!â you yell, grabbing Aidan as he falls.Â
 Blood comes out of his lips, and he groans in pain.Â
 âNo, no, noâŠâ you repeat, desperate. âStay alive. I will fix thisâŠÂ PleaseâŠâÂ
 You put your hands over his wound and focus on it. You can feel his molecules cry out, wounded, and you connect to them.Â
 Heal! You command them.Â
HEAL!
âMomâŠIâŠâ Aidan whispers through bloodied lips.Â
 âDonât talk. Itâs okay. I am going to fix this. I promise.â
 But the molecules arenât responding. They do not obey you. Perhaps if you were sober, you could have done something like this, but you are too numb, and your powers arenât what they used to be.Â
 âI⊠am⊠sorryâŠâ Aidan whispers faintly. His face is awfully pale now.Â
 âSsshhhh⊠Fuck that. You stay with me, okay?! Donât you fucking dare!â
 But his eyes are turning glossy now. You search his molecules again, but find them unresponsive. They arenât alive anymoreâŠ
 âNoâŠâ you whisper. Tears fall on his dead body. âCOME BACK TO ME!â you wail.
 âHurts, doesnât it?â Soldier Boy suddenly says, putting a hand on your head as if you were a pet. âCan you feel it? That agonizing pain?... Now we are even.â
 âYou monsterâŠâ you whisper. âHe was your son.â
 âHe was a brat who didnât know when to shut his mouth⊠Not good enough to carry my name.â He moves his hand to your forehead and tilts your head back. Heâs looking down at you. âYou know why I never hurt you?â
 You are trembling with anger, but too weak to do anything about it. You want to get revenge so badly, but you know he is stronger than you.Â
 âFuck you.â
 He ignores you as he continues speaking. âI looked at you and saw nothing worth hurting. Not when you hurt yourself every day.âÂ
 He places the blade against your throat. It is wet from your sonâs blood.Â
 âAnd you know what the funny thing is? I didnât even know where your mommy lived⊠She was never in any real danger, sweetheart.âÂ
 You tighten your jaw and close your eyes, not wanting to see his face any longer. The bladeâs edge is already piercing your skin gently.Â
 âI love you too.â
 The knife cuts through your throat, reaching the bone. Blood gushes from the wound like a shower, bathing your sonâs body with it.Â
 Soldier Boy cleans the knife on his pants and puts it back on his belt. He hears your body drop to the ground and steps over it. Bloody bootprints make a path between your body and the exit as he goes to finish his end of the deal. Butcher must be furious by now, thinking he ran away to side with his son⊠But Ben isnât a father. And he for sure isn't the forgiving type.
In the unknown place that is the after, you search for your mother and son.
Shanks lets out a deep sigh as he lays on his bed like a starfish, legs hanging off. Heâs got a problem. He wants to be on friendly terms with you but it isnât working. To be honest, when you caught his attention by resisting his haki, he had considered killing you. If a harmful marine could do something like that now, while weak, thereâs no telling what they could do in the future. Shanks has his strengths but resisting conquerorâs haki like that could be a huge factor in a fight. Still, thereâs a reason he didnât kill you; itâs because of the girl.
âW-Wait! He saved me!â The little girl cries, unable to get out of your grip but still pleading for your life. âHe wasnât kidnapping me! He wanted to help!â
That was why he stopped. He already had a feeling that you did something out of the ordinary but Shanks is an Emperor of the Sea; he canât go sparing a growing threat willy nilly just because he feels like it. Especially one who couldâve done something as horrible as take civilians hostage and was possibly now taking a little girl hostage. Yet she confirmed his suspicions. You had gone against orders and freed the civilians, even attempting to save that girl despite her slowing you down. He couldâve killed you and there was a chance you could have escaped if you left her, but you didnât. That means something. Along with that determination to resist against the presence of someone so much stronger for the sake of an innocent⊠it would be more surprising to not want to be friendly with you! Even better, when you woke up you only got more interesting, more noticeably good. He knows he canât be best friends with a marine but being friendly with you would be nice.
âYou havenât done anything bad to me. Yet, at least.â
âBut it got fucked up.â He almost wanted to yell at Beck and Lucky for ruining it but instead just gave them some scolding before sending them off. Itâs reasonable that they did what they did, they assumed you were a regular marine. They didnât see your determination and the way you ran despite your terror. The fact that you were reasonable and understood that feels bittersweet. He almost wishes you were angry so he could make it up to you instead of you looking so.. resigned to your fate. Like itâs obvious that they would hurt you. You put up a wall between the strong and the normal, and that wall is much harder to break down than anger.
âFuck!â He throws a pillow at the wall. Heâs upset but that made him feel better. Heâll just think about it as he trains. Nothing better to help think than a monotonous task; and if it doesnât work out thereâs no better way to avoid your problems than straining your body til you canât think!
Shanks gets up and walks outside, breathing in the fresh sea air and relishing in the sunlight. This is what he needed, he feels even better already! Heâs about to try and find one of his crewmates to spar or work out with when he spots you hanging out with the little girl. Well, kinda. Itâs more her yapping and you listening while sat next to her looking sleep deprived.
âSo my mom said âItâs dangerous for a little girl to go out on her own!â and I tried telling her I know how to fight but she wasnât having it! I had to show that I was right.â She explains with her hands on her hips, confident standing form despite her height. Though this way you two are more eye to eye.
âDidnât you end up caught?â You point out with a yawn and she falters.
â...They cheated by sneaking up on me. Iâm super strong.â Her cheeks puff up slightly in a pout. âPlaying dirty isnât fair.â Red hair gets a mischievous grin on his face and sneaks up behind her. You notice him but before you can point it out he puts a hand on her shoulder.
âBoo!â
âKYAA!â She yelps and he bursts out laughing.
âWow, so threatening! Was that your war cry?â Red Hair teases as she flushes from embarrassment. You smile a little but stay seated. Very determined of her.
âThatâs not fair!â
âEnemy in battle isnât gonna worry bout whatâs fair or not, sweetheart.â He says while trying to casually look at you to start a conversation. âRight?â
â?â Youâre a little confused on why heâs including you but nod. âOh, right. You canât really complain about what's fair or not, not every enemy is going to be courteous to you. Theyâll kill you no matter the method.â You pat her on the head. âYou can worry about being strong when youâre older.. just train how you like now if you want to.â Though you can't really tell her her work will help her become as strong as sheâs likely imagining, it would be hypocritical.
âIâm already almost double digits! Thatâs basically an adult.â Said like every child ever.
âMaddie, I made you a snack!â Lucky Roux yells from elsewhere and she perks up.
âComing!â Like that, she runs off. Once sheâs gone thereâs a beat of silence before the Emperor speaks.
âSo.. are you enjoying your stay here? Has everything been comfortable?â Heâs so awkward that even you can tell, not that itâs shocking to you. The only thing shocking is that heâs trying to be polite enough to be awkward instead of not caring.
âMy âstayâ isnât consensual, but itâs been alright. You guys feed me and thereâs been no torture to interrogate me. Not that there would be much to learn considering Iâm a normal soldier.â You might be coming across as mean but you still feel lingering self-pity for being so useless even a powerful pirate crew isnât bothering to try and get anything out of you.
âThereâs lots to learn!â The captain plops down next to you despite looking like he was going to do something earlier. âYour favorite color, your favorite food, we could even have boy talk.â He leans in like youâre teenage boys at a sleepover. âSo~ Whatâs your type~?â
âYou.â Not like you can say that. âUh..â He picks up on your hesitance.
âHey, just a joke. You donât actually have to tell me if you donât want to.â His expression softens. âIâm not gonna force you.â That's what he says but youâre starting to feel bad that heâs trying so hard despite the situation and youâre being dry.
âSomeone with a nice personality.â Since you can't go into looks without giving away you think the marinesâ enemy is hot, you make sure to be vague; keeping to personality rather than looks. âI don't think I could fall in love with a truly bad person either, so they'd have to be decent. Preferably kind but decent is enough.â
âWow you have really low standards..â His hand is over his mouth in pensive shock. â(Y/n) you can be more confident in yourself, this is supposed to be your ideal type.â
âDon't make me seem like I'm desperate!â In your vagueness youâve made yourself look pathetic again.
âNo, no. I get it, it's harder for men to get dates anyway.â He turns his head away in exaggerated pity. âNot everyone could be as charming and handsome as me.â
âOh what, youâre a casanova now?â
âMaybe. Though that makes me seem like I go around breaking hearts. Iâm not a playboy.â He puts a hand on his heart. âIâm very respectful, promise. To both women-â He winks. â-and men.â You freeze. Heâs bi? He waits for you to respond but you donât. âHello~ You scared Iâm gonna pounce on you or something?â
âHuh? No no no, sorry. I was just shocke-â You stop, actually itâs not that surprising heâs bi if you really think about it. âActually itâs not that shocking.â His eyes widen before he bursts out laughing.
âYeah, I guess not!â
âI feel like he should be the one more wary.â Youâre starting to feel guilty, but the fact you got him giggling feels nice. You were into his intimidating wanted poster but this is actually way better.. cute. In a way that you find a bear cute even if it could maul you. Before you realize it youâre staring at him and heâs staring back.
âI meant it when I said that I liked you. I know youâre not amicable with pirates, being a marine, but I want to be on friendly terms with you.â
âBecause Iâm interesting?â His previous smile grimaces at your wording.
âDonât say it like that, it makes me seem like the bad guy. Iâve made all my friends from them being interesting.â Your head tilts.
âAm I your friend then, Red Hair?â He falters at your question.
â..Maybe not yet. But I'd like to be.â The redhead sighs. âNot that itâd look good for you or me if we were friends. But hey, nothing wrong with being a little friendly. Youâre gonna be here for a while anyway.â
âI just hope I donât get fired as soon as Iâm back.â Being kidnapped and returning with no info or even injuries is NOT going to look good.
âYou want me to put in a good word for you? I can tell your boss that you were sooo intimidating and scary that I just couldnât hurt you.â Heâs joking but you quickly reject that.
âThatâd just get me in even more trouble. I donât need power I canât handle.â Not only would a promotion likely get you killed since you have no strength to back it, but thatâs if they even believe that story.
âWho says you canât handle it? I think youâre plenty powerful. You resisted an Emperor of the Seaâs conquerorâs haki.â
âFor what, getting tripped twice and getting my brain mushed?â
âYou fell very gracefully.â
âI doubt it.â
âYeah, I was lying.â He looks off into the distance wistfully. âYou didnât fall gracefully at all. You were like a sack of potatoes with limbs.â Thereâs a beat of silence before Red Hair clears his throat. âAnyway, sorry about that. I really was trying to keep you unharmed.â âat first.â
âIt must be hard to hold your strength back when youâre so strong, yeah.â
âDammit. I made myself seem even more distant.â How is the redhead supposed to salvage this, should he just give up? He doesnât want to distress you trying to be your friend when youâre terrified of him. It would be troublesome for you to be his friend, a burden; maybe he should just quit it. A small laugh reaches his ears and he turns his head to see you trying to hold it in. âWhat, whatâd I do?â
âSorry, you just looked so visibly defeated it was funny.â To you it just looked like he turned from a joking wistful to a smile so obviously depressed. Like a sad dog wagging its tail weakly. âI appreciate you caring for me so much even if I didnât really do anything.â
âHow could you ânot do anythingâ. You were amazing.â His eyes twinkle with a genuine amazement thatâs a bit embarrassing for you. âI find you so amazing because of that determination you have despite being weak, (Y/n). Really.â
âT-Thanks.â
âŠ
Itâs silent. What are you two supposed to talk about? You feel bad for him calling out your âdeterminationâ considering you gave up becoming stronger, and heâs anxious heâll only end up making the rift between you two larger talking about himself.
âSo...â The redhead starts. âDo you have a favorite color?â You meet his eyes, soft and hopeful. Heâs really trying, isnât he?
âI do.â They brighten.
Next
This chapter is when i realized there was only so many times i would get away with calling her little girl so i just gave her a name because i thought maddie was a cute name and i had a cousin that name that had a bigger sister that was mean to me but she herself was nice so its like that name has a mix of nice and bad memories. I really need to make a seperate post masterlist for canon fodder because i dont want to put tw and cw for seperate chapters since its kind of spoilers. I keep telling myself ill make one and then i dont. If i dont make one by the next chapter someone cyberbully me until I do so i dont end up accidentally triggering someone or making things harder for myself later on when it clutters up the shanks masterlist.
Summary: For her, normal has never been in the equation. Mute since childhood, she grew up on the road, chasing the faintest memories and ghosts of a childhood she struggles to remember. When she encounters a hedge knight and his Targaryen squire during her travels, their lives are forever changed.