West @darkomoth - Tumblr Blog

My Very Own Island - Ch.9

Benjamin 'Dex' Poindexter x reader

Summary: You know. Does he know that you know?

Content warning: Obsession, stalking, possessive behavior, angst, toxic relationship, manipulation, power imbalance, smut, p in v, fingering, possessive sex, praise, dom/sub dynamics, dom!Dex

Chapter word count: 9,777

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Dex got to work immediately when he got back to your place. It was a mess in here. From the shattered pieces of your vase, to the rumpled rug of your living room floor, to the blood that had dried on the corner of the wall where your head had slammed against it.

Splatters of blood, some of it still wet, covered the surfaces of your apartment. A few of Dex’s knives too. He makes his way over to Wade’s lifeless body. His eyes were still open, mouth slightly agape.

Dex let out a satisfied sigh. “No please, don’t get up.”

He gathers all the ceramic fragments and throws them into a trash bag along with the knives. He mops up the blood, scrubs at the wall, fixes the rug. He wipes down the dining room, kitchen and living room for good measure. Disinfects all of it with bleach.

Everything was spotless besides the dead body.

Dex unfurls a large plastic tarp, prepared to move Wade on top, but he decides to check his pockets first. His phone and wallet would need to be disposed of separately.

The wallet didn’t have much in it, only a California drivers license, a couple credit cards, and a five dollar bill. He also fishes out a Photo Booth strip and his face contorts into a grimace. Dex sees you and Wade smiling and kissing in the three-part image. He rips up the strip so that only you are left, then folds it and puts it in his pocket. The parts with Wade are thrown into the trash bag.

He picks up his phone, uses Wade’s thumb to unlock it and drops his hand back down with a soft thunk. Dex goes through his recent images. Job listings, pictures of his tattoos, cars… boring shit. He taps on his contact list. Who he spoke to last, anyone that might know where he’s gone.

The last phone call logged was yesterday, the contact name was for a business. Probably his work. He opens his text messages, clicks on the most recent. He sees a phone number that he recognizes immediately and he tilts his head at it.

A 212 area code followed by the same digits that send him his nightly hit list. Every part of him freezes.

Wade didn’t just show up here by chance. Dex should’ve known he wasn’t smart enough to find you by himself.

Fisk.

The message was short. Wade didn’t even respond to it.

It had your first and last name followed by

Waiting for you, 405 Madison Ave, New York, NY 10022

He reads it. Rereads it. This was Fisk trying to get you killed.

A cold detachment makes Dex turn the phone off. He shoves it in his pocket, unfeeling. This will have to be dealt with very soon. But not tonight.

Wade is annoyingly heavy but he gets him on top of the tarp, wraps him up tightly, then secures it with duct tape.

He thinks about why you were targeted. Why did Fisk want you out of the way? Did he feel you were a distraction- a hindrance to his work? Had he not done everything asked of him and then some?

Dex realized it didn’t matter that he tried to keep you away from all the violence. His decision to fall in with the Kingpin of New York made his life violent. Being with him in the way that he wants you to be with him meant you would always be in danger.

Once Wilson finds out that his feeble attempt to eradicate you from his life didn’t work, he would try again. He knows he will. Maybe he’ll send someone like him next time. Ruthless. Someone who doesn’t ask questions.

He was gonna have to die, he decided.

It would be difficult. He had the entire FBI backing him by now, even the ones like Nadeem who were forced into it. Although, he doesn’t know that Dex knows how Wade got here. He could walk right into that penthouse and end it all within five minutes. That came with its own set of issues he’ll have to deal with.

There’s one more pile of blood left behind by Wade’s shoulder wound and he mops that up too. He checks the time displayed on your stove, 3:55am. Too early for most people to be awake. He covers the plastic in a large blanket, slings Wade over his shoulder, and takes him with the rest of the garbage down to the trunk of his car- hyper vigilant in case anyone did happen to be an early riser.

There was nobody. The sky was still dark and would be for at least another hour. Crickets chirped in the cold and Dex drove off to the disposal site- a lonely dock with an overhanging bridge that secluded him from sight.

He watches the body splash into the water. It sinks to the bottom easily with the cinder blocks Dex had secured to him.

Wiped from the face of the Earth.

All he wants now is to go back home and lay down in his bed with you.

—-

You were trying to calm yourself down enough to figure out next steps. You wouldn’t be able to go back to your apartment, you don’t own a car, you have about $60 cash and not much more in your checking.

Dex has been gone for over an hour now and you could feel a pressure building inside yourself at every passing second. Anticipation of his return.

Okay. Okay… you try to shove everything back in the box the way it had been, and then secure the lid back on top. You throw it back into the safe and push the heavy door closed.

Was it closed? You thought. You can’t remember. You hesitate, hand on the smooth black surface for a moment. No, it was cracked slightly. You try to open it again but it stays shut.

Fuck!

Was it too much to hope that he wouldn’t notice? God, who’re you kidding. This is the man who learned every piece of information about you before you even knew his job title.

Alright. It’s closed now so there’s nothing to be done about it. You rip off the hoodie you’ve been wearing. It smelt like Dex and you wished you could enjoy that fact but you’re too overwhelmed. The space was closing in on you, making you claustrophobic.

You grab your socks and shoes to shove them on. The clothes you wore earlier are gonna have to stay here, it was too much to worry about taking them with you. You turn off the lights but keep the TV on. Just as your foot crosses the threshold from the bedroom to the hallway, something else catches your eye.

Dex’s laptop was on the kitchen counter. You’d seen it with him a few times, but never actually looked at it before. You saw the cagey way he shielded himself around it sometimes. You figured it was related to the Fisk case. Sensitive.

Earlier he threw it inside his bag to make room for you in the passenger seat of his car. He must’ve left it behind when he went back to your apartment.

Did you have time? Was it worth it, really? You already knew he was stalking you. That he researched your history… you look to the front door and then back again. You have to.

It was going to take Dex a long while to do whatever he was doing at your place. You shiver a little at the thought. Almost certainly not speaking to the police.

“Alright.” You whisper to yourself, then open the laptop. It was password protected.

You look around, thinking. You type in his birthday that you remember seeing on his driver's license. No luck. You try the name of a baseball team he mentioned liking. Nothing.

You tilt your head. Hesitantly, you type your full name into the keyboard. It opens. You let out a shaky breath. Something to dwell on later.

It was stuck on a dark screen. The faint graininess of what looked to be some footage. You see a time in the bottom right corner, it was current. You tried to turn up the brightness but it did nothing. You wonder if it was recorded so that you could rewind. It goes back, back, back and you see lights- movement.

Your living room.

Your shoulders pull back, spine straightened. He had a camera inside your living room. You stopped it at the point when Dex came and busted down your door. You press the esc button and see two more feeds, views from your kitchen and bedroom.

That explained how he knew Wade was there. How he showed up at just the right time…

Jesus Christ. He wasn’t just following you around and snapping photos, he was breaking into your apartment and watching you at all hours. Your eyes shoot over to the glass case of his console. You remember the look on his face when you grabbed that cd- the one with the clear plastic cover and a date. There were at least a dozen of them in there. You know they aren’t interview tapes.

You run over to the living room, kneel in front of the TV and yank open the cabinet. You pull a handful of them out, frantically. The first one you get your hands on is shoved into the cd player of Dex’s laptop.

It immediately pulls up a new screen. You press play.

You see yourself on the couch, reading a book. Music plays in the background. You remember this day, one of your days off work where you really just did nothing. You play it at 5x speed, seeing how you get up to use the restroom, cook yourself some food, go back to reading.

You pull it out, put in another one.

Your bedroom is lit by your bedside lamp. You’re tossing and turning every once in a while, but the entire video is just you sleeping.

You replace it with another.

Dex is there. Your breath hitches at the sight of him. You and him were talking, laughing about something. He was so casual. His hands slipped behind you to gently move you out of the way in the kitchen so he could grab some cooking utensils.

You see how he looks at you. Like he was deep in thought. Was he always so watchful? His eyes never left you, not even when you moved away from him- stepped into your bedroom to grab something. His eyes tracked everything until you were completely out of eyesight.

You swallow, removing the cd. You don’t feel like watching the other ones. You need to put them back, he’ll notice that they’re missing, but you stay still for a moment longer.

Moments with Dex surface all of a sudden. You think about him stepping in with that rude guest, how he always keeps you on the right side of the sidewalk when he walks with you, his arm slung around your shoulders when he stays over to watch movies with you. Your eyes get bleary again.

God, you actually loved him.

He was something steady you could hold onto when you felt unstable. You cry in your elbow, trying to smother the sounds. You’re hiccuping- close to sobbing. That is, until you hear the barest sound of footsteps coming down the hallway outside.

Shit. You stop your outburst immediately and spring into action. All of the cd’s are scrounged up and you run back over to the console to shove them inside. You can’t care about their order, your heartbeat was going so fast.

A key turns in the lock. You jump up, skirt your eyes to the kitchen counter where the laptop was still open. Two strides and you slam it shut, the front door opens.

Dex is standing there, looking beat. He sees you and raises an eyebrow.

“Hey, you’re still awake?” He sounds worried.

You’re holding your breath, lips pursed. You shrug. Every nerve in your body was lit up. The way he narrowed his eyes made it seem like he could see inside you.

Dex moves further inside and closes the door behind him, locks it. That was your chance. Gone. He drops his black bag onto the floor and shrugs off his coat. You must be too quiet because he speaks again.

“Are you alright?” He eyes you a bit more, taking in your facial expression, your clothes, your goddamn shoes.

You release a quick breath, “Yeah.” The smile that you give him feels ridiculous on your face. You could do better. “Yeah, I had a nightmare so I wanted to get some air.”

Could he hear the shake in your voice? See your pulse thrumming against your neck and chest…

“Oh, yeah of course. Did you want any company?” Dex raises a hand in your direction and it takes every ounce of self-control to not react. His fingers brush your arm softly.

You were still standing in front of the kitchen counter, arms crossed in front of you, too worried about what you look like to even move.

“No I think-” You hear how your pitch goes up and clear your throat. “I think I’m gonna go alone…”

Dex nods. “Alright, but stay close please? And keep your phone on you?”

You let out an exhale. “I will.”

You see it the moment it happens.

His eyes fall from you to the laptop. Back to you. You haven’t moved from your spot. You’re too still. Too polite. He swallows. It’s quiet in the apartment, you focus on the annoying sound of a clock ticking somewhere. You try to keep your eyes forward. Body under control.

He knows you know.

“I’ll be back soon.” You try to say, but it comes out all wrong. You try to take a step around him and a hand lands on your elbow.

Dex’s fingers hold you in place. “Sweetheart.” He pleads.

You have to decide right now whether you are going to do one of two things.

You can rip yourself away from him and bolt for the front door, praying to god that you can run fast enough.

or

You can play dumb as hell.

Quick, decide.

“Yes?” Dumb as hell it is.

Dex reaches a hand up to graze the edge of the wound on your forehead. It’s tender, loving even. It makes you want to cry.

He pulls you into him, nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck while his arms wrap around you in a firm hug. He's warm and comforting, his lips ghosting over your skin. You hated him for being so gentle with you. For making everything so hard.

“Don’t.” He says.

You shudder just the slightest bit. You clench your teeth together, try to get your heart beat to slow even just a little.

“Don’t what?”

He pulls away from your neck so he can look at you, hands still keeping you in place. “There’s no reason for you to be scared.” His eyebrows raise a fraction. “You have to know…”

You wish you didn’t do it. It was so stupid, you were so stupid, but you feel your eyes move to his closet and back so fast it would be imperceptible to anyone else. Not to Dex.

He sucks in a breath like he was stabbed. His grip on you tightens- hands squeezing your hips. It might’ve been painful if you could feel literally any physical sensations right now.

Dex closes his eyes, shakes his head slowly, “You weren’t supposed to see it.”

You lick at your lips and try to school your expression into something neutral but the way your eyes water right now is uncontrollable. “See it…?” Your voice is so low, nearly a whisper.

He trails his hands up to the sides of your face, “Stop that.” He says, frustrated. “Stop pretending…”

You feel a tear slip past and it lands on Dex’s hand. You intake a fast breath, trying to be as silent as possible. It doesn’t work. You’re weeping in his grasp now. “Please…” Is the only word that escapes you.

He’s shaking his head, “Shh no don’t be afraid. There’s nothing to be afraid of, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time-”

You’re getting a little louder now, unable to stop the flow of tears once they began.

“I just needed to understand you!” He’s talking quicker, trying to keep you present with him. “I just needed to watch over you, protect you! I couldn’t let anything happen-”

That sound you’d heard from yourself earlier came back, that awful moaning-crying sound, like a wounded animal.

Dex panicked when your legs gave out. He dropped to his knees so that he could stay with you all the way to the floor. The two of you kneeled and still he was talking a million miles a minute.

“You saw me when no one else did! You stopped me that day in the hotel and you made me see you! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you before, sweetheart, I didn’t know…”

It was your fault. You said hi to him first, after all.

You feel your head throbbing as you listen. Your throat is tight and your face is hot. You can barely make out Dex’s face even though he’s inches away from you. Your hands reach out to his shirt just to steady yourself.

“Then I learned about Wade and-” His face distorts at the name, “and everything you’d gone through but you were still so nice to me, to everybody, and I had to know why. How could this person-” He was panting, broken breaths splitting up his sentences, “How could someone who’s gone through so much still be so kind and compassionate? How were you even still standing?”

You tried to process the words, tried to make yourself calm down.

“And it took a while, you were so scared to let me in, to let me touch you, kiss you-” He was nervously studying your reaction to everything he said. “You did though.” He smiles. “You let yourself trust someone again, trust me- and I wanted to tell you. So many times, I wanted to tell you! I just thought that it would be too much-”

“You thought finding out I was being followed and recorded and stalked would be too much for me?” You ask him through stuttering breaths.

“I swear to you,” Dex pulls your forehead to his, “I swear I never wanted to hurt you. I was so lost before. Broken. I had no idea just how much… I need you, I’ve always needed you.”

You groan a little bit, exhausted and disoriented. You haven’t slept for so many hours, your head hurt, and your body was giving out beneath you. All you want is sleep.

“You make the noise in my head go away.”

You wonder what that even means.

It was so difficult for you to comprehend all of what Dex was saying. He loves you, he wants to protect you, he needs you… Your mind swims with all the information. His scent surrounds you, his hands keep you still, you have nowhere to go anyway.

“What do I need to do?” His voice is desperate. “I’ll do anything to make this right. To keep you.”

Keep me, you thought. Would he even allow you to leave right now if you tried? When you don’t answer him, Dex slips a hand behind your neck and brings your face to his chest. His other hand smoothes over your back, rubbing small circles like he did earlier. You shake against him, gasping and sniffling.

He whispers into your ear, “I’ll do anything.”

All the tension starts to slip from you as a bone-weary tiredness settles in its place. Your body slumps forward on him, completely lax now.

After a minute or so, Dex moves to pick you up. You let him. No more energy left.

“It’s all gonna be alright.” He’s saying as he adjusts his grip on you. He cradles you to him and you feel yourself being carried back to his bedroom.

Your eyes are closed, but your chest hiccups softly. He kisses the top of your head and you pretend in that second that none of the last 24 hours happened.

You were at home, safe and comfortable. Wade wasn’t even a thought in your head. Dex was with you. He came over to watch a movie with you after work like the original plan was. He jokes and you smile and he kisses you sweetly…

You’re placed onto the soft comforter of his mattress. A blanket is placed over your shoulders and then you feel Dex crawl into the space behind you. His arms wrap securely around your middle and his legs close around yours. His body was a cage that you couldn’t hope to remove yourself from. His lips find the back of your neck.

You aren’t sure if it’s due to how exhausted you were, but you accept all of it.

“I love you so much.” Is the last thing you hear before you drift off.

—

Dex had never felt such a palpable fear in his life.

When he had made it back to his apartment well past five in the morning, he expected you to be asleep. Safe in his bed, wrapped up in his clothes and blankets.

Instead he found you wide awake in his kitchen. Your shoes on, ready to leave. He was willing to accept that you had a nightmare. It would’ve been more surprising if you didn’t have any.

But then he saw the look on your face. How you guarded yourself with your arms, hunched over just slightly. The forced composure you had over your voice. It was all off. Dex had to make sure he didn’t lose his cool. To not scare you any more than you were already.

He didn’t even think about his safe before leaving you there. The laptop.

No, he thought. This was all such bad timing. You couldn’t handle this right now. But you were going to have to. He thought you might try and run the way you eyed the door every minute or so. He reached a hand out to persuade you to stay.

He couldn’t help but wonder what you thought when you saw all of it. When it became clear just how much Dex was devoted to you.

Aside from the initial fear, were you grateful? Were you in any way glad to know that there was someone who actually knew you? He almost wishes he were here to see it.

He saw you start to lose a grip on your emotions, unable to hold back the tears and he just couldn’t stand it. He had to make you see that everything he did was for you. That there was no reason to ever be afraid of him. He knows why you reacted this way but it still hurt. If you could just see all of it from his perspective…

It broke his heart to see how you wailed, your hands fisting into his shirt like it was a lifeline. Dex held you and explained as best he could, assured you that he loved you. Told you all the reasons why.

When he felt your body give out and the sound of your last real cry being expelled, he let out a relieved sort of hum.

Thank god, he thought. He gave you a minute to regulate. You didn’t react when he shifted you a little bit.

Dex slipped his hands beneath you and lifted you up towards him. You had your eyes closed and he stared at how pretty you were with tears dried across your face. The slight reddening of your cheeks and nose. Poor girl. Been through so much today.

He liked that you kept calm while he transported you to his bed. It gave him some hope that you would come to terms with everything. It may take some time but he had it.

You stayed limp and easily movable. He took advantage of it by enclosing his arms and legs around you. You had to feel safe here, he thinks. He’ll make you feel safe again.

You made noises in your sleep, twitched in his arms every once in a while. Whimpers and small gasps from whatever nightmares plagued you. Dex ran his fingers through your hair, whispered nice things to soothe you.

“Shhh… everything’s okay. You’re okay.” He said.

He fell into a peaceful sleep not long after, happy to know that you were guarded in his arms.

—

The light seeped through Dex’s window and made his eyes open. It must be late in the morning. He felt groggy and sore, but when he looks down at you- still sleeping in his hold, he smiles. His body moves against yours as he stretches, then you shift.

Dex feels the difference right away. How you went from loose to rigid. He sighs and then pulls back a little.

You don’t say anything. Were you pretending to still be asleep?

“Good morning.” He says.

You don’t respond at first, curling further in on yourself. Then you’re turning around slowly to face him. You were frowning, lips downturned and eyes scrutinizing. Dex wants to run a finger along the crease between your brows but he decides it’s better to give you your space.

Your voice is thick with sleep, “Good morning…”

“Would you like something to eat?” He asks.

You shake your head a little bit. He knows you haven’t had any food since yesterday afternoon. It wouldn't do you any good to neglect yourself.

“I’m going to make some breakfast.” He tells you. You don’t respond.

Dex leans closer to your face, testing. You stay still. His lips find yours and it’s so gratifying. The way you let him feel you right now, after everything.

Are you actually okay with this? He wonders. He pulls back to study your expression. It’s blank. It gives Dex nothing to work with.

Are you still scared? Or are you just overthinking? He pushes some hair out of your face, smiles at you more. “You can stay in bed. Let me take care of you.”

Dex reluctantly pulls away and gets up to use the restroom, brush his teeth. He doesn’t hear you make any sounds after he moves into the kitchen.

Everything was going to work out, he thought. The worst of it is over and now you and him could work on moving past it. He cracks some eggs into a pan, puts some bread into the toaster. He hears your soft footsteps as you make your way to the bathroom, then running water.

He allows his mind to wander. If you wanted to leave, you would ask him, wouldn’t you? What would he even say… He’d try to convince you not to, but he couldn’t force you either. It gnawed at him that you were so quiet. He longs for the mornings where you embraced him, kissed his throat, ran your hands along his sides. He closes his eyes, remembering.

Dex hears you approaching and snaps out of it.

“Hi.” He says when you get to the kitchen counter.

You still had his shirt and sweats on, hair messy, arms wrapped around yourself protectively. His eyes sweep over the bruise that formed on your cheek. He bristles a little at the sight of it. His hand clenches then unclenches. He grabs a plate for you, pours you a cup of coffee.

“Here. Please eat.”

You stare at it, then look back up at him, debating. You set yourself down in the stool.

“Thank you.”

Dex smiles at you. He watches you take small bites, sip from the steaming mug. You tried your best to avoid his gaze, but you inevitably made eye contact with him. It seemed like you were trying to voice your thoughts, but you were having a hard time. He thought it was cute, so he was patient while you worked up to it.

“Why did you choose me?”

Dex tilts his head at you. “What do you mean?”

You clear your throat and push the plate away. “You could’ve ignored me. I mean-” You shake your head, looking around. “All I did was say hello every once in a while. It didn’t need to be anything more.”

Dex thinks about that. It did need to be something more.

“You were lonely.”

You lick at your lips and nod. “I was.” You swallow. “Lots of people are lonely.”

“But you were-” He feels himself getting worked up, needs to reign it back. He inhales deeply, “It was different.”

“How?”

“It felt like we were the same.”

You look over his face. Examining his expressions, his shoulders, his hands.

“Is that the only reason?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I need to have something. An anchor.”

“What does that mean?” You squint your eyes at him, trying to understand. He wasn’t good at explaining, but he would try. For you.

“I have issues with being… good.” You nod for him to continue. “I always had to learn from people, it never came naturally. But you-” He props his hands against the edge of the sink, supporting his weight while he stares down at you, “You made it look so easy. The way you talk to people at work, how you help.” He sighs. “I liked watching.”

You squirm under his gaze. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

“You put cameras in my apartment.”

Dex nods, hesitant. “Yes.”

“Becuase you liked watching?”

“Because I needed to know that you were safe.”

You look at him silently for a minute, then ask, “What did you need the pictures for?”

“I just wanted to keep-” He stops again, searching for the right words. “I like to have reminders of you.”

“So you aren’t trying to sell me on the black market?”

He opens his mouth a little but nothing comes out. Was that a joke? He wanted to laugh but maybe you were serious. He catches the barest tug at the corner of your lips.

“No, I’m not trying to sell you on the black market.” He smiles. “Wouldn’t know how to do that anyway.”

You go back to looking sort of morose. “I told you before that I’ve had my personal life used against me.”

Dex nods, straightens himself.

“And then I saw everything… it feels like it’s happening again.”

He has to move around the counter so he can be next to you. His hands find yours but you avoid looking directly at him.

“That wasn’t what I was trying to do.” Dex says.

You look at your conjoined fingers, hesitant to say what you say next. “I need to go.”

He freezes as soon as you say it. Go? For good? His anxiety spikes and his hands tighten around yours a fraction, breathing suddenly harder to control. Shit. He was losing you. He couldn’t lose you.

“I have to change into new clothes… check in with my work, let them know I’ll be out for a few days.”

“You can do that here.” Dex says.

You’re doing the same thing you did last night when he walked in, hiding whatever you felt behind a placating smile. But he sees the way you swallow nervously.

“I just don’t want you out of sight right now, is all. After what happened with Wade-“

You stand up, but don’t pull away from him. “That’s- that’s over now.” You stutter. “I’m fine-“

“I think you’re still in danger.”

You draw your eyebrows together, confused. “What?”

Dex wasn’t sure how to explain the rest of it. Fisk, his position as a hitman, the text… You’re mulling over what he said, but he thinks it’s an act. You don’t believe him. Fuck, you can’t go.

“If I am still in danger, maybe I should go to the police…”

“The police won’t be able to help. Not with this. Just- just trust me okay? This is the best place for you right now.”

Your eyes flick to the door, then back to him. You felt trapped. Dex tried not to show how much it upset him. You aren’t trapped, you’re being protected. Why couldn’t you see that? Why was he not getting through to you?

“Dex,” You try to step away, he doesn’t let you. “I just need to be alone for a little bit.” He shakes his head, but then he notices that you’re pressing your lips together and breathing shaky- he’s scaring you again. Dex drops your hands.

“I’m sorry.” He steps away. “I’m sorry, I- of course you do.”

You look over your shoulder and then back to him. Your head tilts a little in thought. “I won’t be gone long… I just have to- well I don’t really know. Decompress somehow.”

Dex has a hollow feeling in his chest, but something in your voice makes him want to believe you. Maybe you weren’t running. People could be unpredictable that way.

“And I need something from you.” You say. He looks back towards you and nods, eager to make it all right again.

“Don’t try to find me.” Your shoulders relax when you exhale. “I won’t be far, just trust that I’ll be back eventually.”

Dex hasn’t had you out of his sight since he met you. Not even when he couldn’t physically see you, he had the microphone, the tracker… it felt against his nature to let it all go. Does he tell you about that too?

Dex squeezes his eyes shut. “Give me your bag.” You don’t move to do as he asks, just look at him questioningly. “Please.”

You turn to go grab it for him and he suddenly gets really frightened for the first time in a long while. When you bring it over, he takes it from you and sets it on the kitchen counter. He moves his fingers to search around for the bug he planted forever ago. He fishes it out and lets you see it before he throws it away.

You don’t say anything, but you look at him with wide eyes. Dex takes your phone and pulls it from the case. The tracker falls into his hand and he tosses that too.

“Is there anything else?” You ask him, clearly tense.

Dex shakes his head.

“Okay. Thank you… You’ll see me soon.”

For once he has no idea if that’s true.

—

You had to get away from everything. You actually couldn’t believe that Dex let you leave at all. Waking up next to him you forgot about everything, just for a split second, and you felt calm. Then it all came rushing back.

You have no idea if you were telling the truth about coming back. It seemed like what you’d need to say to placate him, but you were considering it. He didn’t lash out at you when he found out you knew. It scared you that you had no idea how he was going to react when he got back to the apartment. Having just learned all the stuff he was doing in secret. Knowing that he wasn’t the person you thought he was, it made him unpredictable. But he only pleaded with you, looking ruined.

You think about how he spoke with you so openly. Told you about his struggles with being good. Explained why to the best of his abilities… Still, being there- knowing that the safe was nearby. Those cds. Your skin crawled a bit at the prospect of staying.

You were walking for a long while. The last days of winter have already passed and the beginning of spring blew short gusts of wind at your back.

Eventually you made it back to your apartment and hesitated before going inside, scared to know what you’ll find.

It was empty. Cleaner than usual actually. No Wade, no evidence that he was ever even there to begin with… you try not to think about how Dex did this, and instead gather up a few essentials into a suitcase. New clothes, hygiene products, and a phone charger.

There was only one direction you thought to take when you left and it led you all the way to the Presidential Hotel.

You think you must look awful. The evidence of Wade’s visit marring your skin, the ill-fitting T-shirt that hung just a bit past your shoulder, the baggy sweats. God, what does it matter? You think. You come up the steps and pull open the front door.

The first person you recognize is Amber. She’s greeting a guest and you hang back for a minute until she’s finished. When she is, you reluctantly make your way up to her desk.

“Hello, welcome in-” Amber stops as soon as her eyes land on your face. She says your name in disbelief, “What the hell happened to you?”

“Oh I had a- a nasty accident.” You say, deflecting. “But I’m here for a room, actually.”

“Uhh, okay.” You knew that you and Amber weren’t exactly friends, but she looks so genuinely concerned it makes you smile a bit. She purses her lips and types something on the computer. Her eyes meet yours again, but now she lowers her voice, “Are you like, hiding out from someone? Do I need to grab an officer?” She motions to one of the many walking around the lobby.

“No, no it’s nothing like that-”

“Cause I heard some stories about your agent Poindexter.”

You scrunch your face at that. “What?”

“I mean, the whole Danny shitshow. He wouldn’t actually tell me but I know he was the one that jumped him. If he’s hitting you-”

“He’s not.” You tell her. “I swear I would tell you or someone.” Maybe not her.

Amber nods, then clicks some more on her keyboard. “There’s a one bed available on floor 8.”

“How much with the employee discount?”

“Um, a hundred ninety nine.”

“I’ll do two nights.” Damn, you thought, this place was expensive. You fork over the $60 cash and then pay the rest on a credit card.

Amber hands over the room key and you thank her. Before you turn away, you think to tell her, “If anyone comes in asking for me, would you just not give them my room?”

“Okaaayy. Cryptic.”

“Thanks.”

You didn’t think Dex followed you here, but then you didn’t think Dex followed you anywhere before now. You had looked around yourself often enough on the walk over but never noticed anything off.

You took the elevator up to your room and still checked over your shoulder before making your way inside. It was a very nice room, you had to give it that. Decorated in white and gold, large floor to ceiling windows, an open floor plan with a king sized bed. You let out a long sigh at the thought of finally being alone. Maybe for the first time in months.

You turned on the TV just to have some noise and then took a long shower. You shed Dex’s clothes and change into your own, finally starting to feel like a real human being again.

When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you stop. The medical tape on your forehead was still holding okay, but the bruising around it was bad. You graze it with your finger and wince. Your cheek was a little swollen but ultimately not horrible. This was the last time you’ll ever see yourself this way, you think.

Dex had made sure of that.

When you think about him your eyes close. It hurts your head to even try to wrap your mind around him. All that he was.

He truly believed that everything he’s done was to protect you. That it was necessary, even. Was it? After all, it was because of his stalking that you were still alive right now. That sends a small shiver down your spine.

There were a multitude of reasons you had to be afraid of him. The pictures and videos, and then learning about the tracker and listening device… you hated that it barely fazed you when he’d pulled them out. Just another thing on the mountain of things to think about while you’re away.

There were also reasons you weren’t afraid of Dex. All that access he had to your life, all the weeks he’d spent looking out for you- and he never used it to hurt you. He was also the only person in your life that you could talk to.

And if you truly allowed yourself to feel it… knowing someone was willing and able to go to the lengths that Dex did had you completely mystified. What could you have ever done in your life to garner that sort of attention?

You felt something akin to admiration but with an edge of something darker, overwhelming. It’s too much to unpack all at once. Did you like that he saw you, all of you, and still wanted you? That he was obsessed to the point of near derangement?

“Get a grip.” You tell yourself.

You decide to spend the day trying to relax inside your very expensive room.

—-

Dex was losing his mind.

It’s been 6 hours that he hasn’t been able to check in on you. He doesn’t know if you’re home or somewhere else. On a plane maybe. He hasn’t tried to check the feeds on his laptop but he has a feeling you would’ve taken the cameras out anyway if you did go home.

He didn’t know what to do with himself. It felt like he’d been disconnected.

Dex goes to his safe, pulls out his box and sits with it for a bit. You had to come back. You had to… he pulls out all the images so he can see you. His eyes linger on his favorite one.

Taken outside the hotel on a colder than usual night. Some white flakes fell lightly on your hair and shoulders and you’d had his jacket wrapped tightly around you. You shrugged into it, smiling a little. His fingers run over the shiny surfaces of the picture, remembering how sweet it was that you enjoyed the snow. It must’ve been rare in California.

You were always meant to be here, he thinks. With him.

Dex tries his best to keep himself busy. He checks in with Hattley and tells her he’ll be in tomorrow, that he no longer needs those days off he mentioned before.

The rest of the evening goes by torturously slowly, but he doesn’t track you down. He wanted to. He wanted so badly to find you, just see that you were okay. But that would’ve been a betrayal and he really needed to gain your trust back.

He barely sleeps that night. His eyes go from the clock on his nightstand to his safe, back to the clock. You never called. Never texted. Maybe tomorrow you’ll have worked through everything. You’ll show back up with that small apprehensive smile and he’ll be able to finally breathe again. To hold you.

In the morning he checks his phone again to see if you called but there’s nothing. No voicemail, no text. He’s miserable.

Dex goes to the hotel and when he walks in his eyes wander to the front desk, not expecting you to be there but still hoping anyway. You’re not, of course. He makes his way to the elevators with a clench in his jaw.

He prepares himself to see Fisk again. He’s going to have to pretend that he has no clue what he did. What he nearly took from him. He takes a steadying breath, walks down the hallway.

The first person he sees is Nadeem. He’s speaking with Hattley about something serious given his facial expression. She’s pushing back at him and he catches the last part of their conversation as he passes.

Hattley says, “It’s already done. He's a free man- the press release happens tonight.”

“After everything he’s done and we’re letting him walk-”

“We are doing anything.” She spits. “They’ve already overturned the conviction. The department of justice isn’t moving forward with charges and that’s the end of it.”

“Hattley-”

“I said that’s the end of it.” She walks away from him.

Fisk wasn’t even here, Dex thinks. He’s running around making preparations to address the public about his innocence. He cracks his neck and makes his way over to the monitors. There wasn't anything left to watch, but as of now his only plan was to find an opportunity.

Out of habit, he switches the view from the penthouse to the front lobby. Without you there it feels empty despite tons of people walking around. Police, guests, journalists hoping to catch a glimpse of the freshly released Kingpin.

His fingers tap on the keyboard anxiously. He needs to find Fisk, needs to know where he went or where he planned to go. He rewinds the security footage. There are so many cameras here. Two in each hallway, two hallways per floor, fifty floors. Not to mention the multiple angles of the front entrance, the service entrances, the elevators, and the outer perimeter.

Dex starts by playing through the penthouse footage from yesterday. Fisk leaves with his lawyers and a handful of FBI agents. He rides the elevator down- he switches the monitor to the lobby. He sees him make his way to the parking garage. He disappears. Shit.

Dex is already on edge from everything that happened with you and now he can’t find the man responsible for it all. He snaps a pencil in his grip, then lets it drop to the desk.

Just as he’s about to close out of the screen, his eye catches on the front desk.

It’s you.

His breath stops and he sits up straighter at the sight of your face. He couldn’t believe it. Of course you came here, he thinks. But you weren’t in work clothes. He sees you handing over cash, getting a key card in return. You’re staying here.

You were here right now, he thinks. Dex couldn’t move for a solid minute, just watching. He sees you walk towards the elevators. He immediately finds the one you took. You get off on the eighth floor. You walk down the hallway and stop in front of your door, then look over your shoulder. Did you think he’d followed you here?

It’s too much. Knowing that you were in the same building but he couldn’t even go to see you. His head swarms and he runs a hand over his face to try and make it go away. He needs you back. You had a whole day and night by yourself. It had to have been enough.

Before he can stop himself, his legs are carrying him over to the elevators.

—

You were bored.

More than that, you found that you missed Dex.

It hurts to admit it to yourself. Your body and mind felt like they were fighting each other. You yearned for the way he held you. You were nauseated at the way he kept so much hidden from you- at the way you were being observed all the time without consent. Your head spun. You had one more night to figure it out, whether you would ever see him again.

The TV played a newer horror movie you’d never seen before. Gory, gross. You turned the volume down and let yourself dissociate a bit on the couch. You just couldn’t fucking relax. There were always too many thoughts.

You try to eat but have no appetite. You try to sleep with no luck. Nothing holds your attention. Your thumb hovers over Dex’s contact… and then you lock your phone.

“God, you’re so pathetic.” You tell yourself, arm covering your eyes as you lay back onto the mattress.

You’re torturing yourself over a man that’s been stalking you. Who besides you would even consider going back to that? Not for the first time, you think ‘fucking damaged goods.’

The morning has bled into the afternoon, but your curtains are drawn so the only light comes from the bright lamps at either side of your bed. You didn’t care to go outside even once since you checked in, happy to wallow in your misery surrounded by such nice furnishings. Just when you thought that maybe you would take a mid-noon nap, you hear three loud knocks at your door.

Your whole body tenses.

When you don’t answer for a long moment, three more knocks come. It could be Amber? She’s the only one that knows your room number. Or it’s not…

You stand from the bed and hesitantly make your way to the door, looking through the peephole.

Dex.

You instinctively move away, heart pounding. He came. The knocks must’ve been a courtesy, because in the next second the lock is turning and you watch him step inside.

Dex’s eyes meet yours. You’re vaguely aware in the back of your mind how scary it is that he got a key to your room. That he found you even without a tracker. That he was standing so still in front of you, face expressionless.

The door swings behind him and closes with a muffled click.

You swallow.

He was completely composed besides the hands that twitched at his sides.

It takes a moment for your brain to catch up followed by your voice. “You found me.”

“I found you.”

Dex takes sudden fast strides to get to you. He pulls at your wrist and immediately latches his mouth to yours. Feverish. Consuming. Invading all your senses.

Every thought you had over the last day and a half slips away, good or bad. It’s just the feeling of him now. How his lips devoured yours. He works over you for a long time like a man starved.

Then his hands slip into your hair and tugs, forcing your head back. He removes himself so he can attack your throat now. You try not to be so sensitive but sharp gasps fill the room. He seems to like it though because he’s grinning, teeth skimming you.

“You were waiting for me, weren’t you?”

Your head swims. Were you waiting for him? You’d thought about going to him. Thought about how you’d react if- when you saw him again. You had no idea until just now that, yes. You were waiting for him. Anticipating it, even.

“Mhm.” You agree, lips pressed together tightly, too afraid to know what your voice sounds like.

Dex’s hands release from your hair so he can cradle your face and stare into your eyes. Something in your gut twists from fear and excitement. He found you…

“You can’t ever do that again.”

You think it was meant to sound firm but to your ears it was desperate. Scared.

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond. His lips are working over yours again, somehow hungrier than before. A hand trails down your back and you shiver a bit, arching into him.

The safe. The cd’s. The laptop. You push it all away.

Instead you embrace how Dex grasps at you like you’re the only important thing in the world. The noises he makes are unlike anything you’d heard from him before. Wild, broken sounds.

“Fuck,” He rasps in between, “I need-” He shakes his head.

You stare back with a frown, “Need what?”

Dex is looking all around your face, eyes never settling, like he can’t believe you’re even in front of him right now. “I need you.”

You let out a shaky breath. Then nod.

The movie still plays in the background quietly. Dex’s hands are pulling at your shirt, your pants. You let him undress you until you're only in your underwear- but he doesn’t remove that yet. He’s pushing you back more and more until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you're forced to sit. You’re looking up at him wide-eyed, expecting.

His eyebrows scrunch a bit as if the sight of you pains him. He leans over you, blocks the light and the only thing you see are his eyes. So beautiful. So focused.

Dex says your name like a prayer. “I can’t live without you.”

Your mouth hangs open, speechless. He takes it as an invitation to kiss you again. You’re taking it as best you can in your position, but your neck begins to hurt and you make a small sound against him. He pulls back to look at you. Then you’re being picked up from underneath your arms like you weigh nothing to him. It’s so fast and unexpected that you startle a little. He moves you further up the bed so that you’re laying down fully on your back.

“Gonna take care of you sweetheart.” Dex says. His voice drops a little lower, like he was talking to himself, “I’m so sorry for scaring you.” He’s crawled on top of you. The feel of him above you has you squeezing your eyes shut. You weren’t sure that you’d ever get this again.

He pulls your panties to the side just slightly so his long fingers can run against your folds. You shudder at his touch.

“God.” You moan.

“So sweet…” Dex’s other hand kneaded at your breast.

You cry out when he slowly inserts his fingers. His smell, his weight, his hands… you’re trying to remain still beneath him, but it’s not working.

“Look at you,” He says. “Gorgeous.”

Dex is at your throat again, nuzzling and then sucking. His thumb brushes over your clit and you can’t help the way you buck up into him- needing more.

“Dex, please…”

“Shhh, be patient. Want this to last.” He worked his fingers faster. You whimpered a bit.

Your mind is everywhere now. You think about how good everything feels, how strange it is that you were so infatuated with your stalker, what tomorrow was going to look like for the two of you. Maybe Dex sensed that you were elsewhere because his hand releases your breast so he can lightly grab at your face.

“Focus on me sweetheart.” You open your eyes to meet his. Another finger enters you and your stomach tightens while your breath hitches. “Mmhm good girl… Don’t think, just feel.”

He smiles down at you while you try to keep your focus on his face. Your whole body is hot and the tension in your stomach is rising little by little the longer he pumps in and out… until he removes himself from you. You must look so unhappy because Dex is already putting a hand to your mouth before you can get a word out. He was muffling your needy cries and he smiled wider.

“I’ve got you.” He assures you. His thumb was still moving in circles around your bundle of nerves, keeping you taut and wanting. It was torturous not having him inside you.

Dex pulls his hand out from between your thighs so he can remove his shirt and free himself from his pants. You make a sound against his hand, pining. Your eyes move along his chest, his abdomen. He strokes himself lightly and you think he looks so handsome like this, skin flushed and shoulders moving with fast breaths.

He pulls your panties down all the way past your legs and then discards them somewhere. Your heart beats fast and you squirm beneath him. His cock moves against you, sliding up and down- making you restless.

Finally Dex slips the head of his cock in, letting you adjust for a few seconds. Then he pushes in fully. You let out a moan at how full you felt, but tried your best to keep your eyes on him like he wanted.

“Can’t ever leave… need you… keep me good.” He was speaking but all you could focus on was the perfect friction of him moving in and out of you. Your breath is coming out in short bursts against his hand and you wonder if he’s getting off on how he had you under his control.

All the times that you and Dex have had sex, you’ve picked up on his tendency to want to take charge. Like he had to have you exactly in whatever way he wanted. It never bothered you because you’d always liked how your body was handled for his enjoyment. It made you feel good. Useful. You both got what you wanted out of it.

“Made for me.” You heard him say as his pace began to pick up. Now he moves his hand away from your mouth and you gasp a little. He leans forward to press his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, fingers in your hair once more.

“Mmm… more.” You mumble against him. Dex nods, pulls back so he can thrust into you harder. “Ah!” You cry into his shoulder at the pleasure mixing with pain. It was getting rougher and you couldn’t help the volume of your voice. “Ahhh!”

“Poor angel… you can take it, I know you.”

He did know you. Better than anyone. He knew that this is exactly what you craved. The only thing that satiates the needs you have.

The sounds of him entering you over and over fill the room. He’s certainly not quiet about it and you wonder briefly if anyone was in the room next to you. He hits the perfect spot deep inside you and it’s so pleasurable, so much.

Dex was moving fast, your hands gripped for his shoulders and then neck blindly. It was hard to keep hold with his pace, but you did the best you could. You could tell he was getting close, the way his face scrunched and his fist tightened in your hair. You felt that familiar tightening sensation deep within you, so close to tipping over the edge.

“I love you too.” You tell him.

You feel the way he shudders. Feel the warmth spread in you as the two of you reach your climaxes together. Every part of you that was so strained a second ago has loosened. Dex falls on top of you, weight crushing but so nice.

He’s breathing into your neck while he keeps his arms wrapped securely around you. Keeping you from leaving.

Where would you go? You think.

He’d just find you.

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