#mujerguerrera

I remember when I was a little girl and My mother made me get up early to clean on the weekends while my brothers Got to stay in bed . The amount of times that I got scolded for voicing my disgust. The amount of times I heard “lava tu los Platos porque tu eres la mujer”

(clean the dishes you are the woman )

I always considered it unfair but because this is what I was used to I believed this was normal . I watched my mother serve my father as soon as he got home from a long day of work and it be expected not an ounce of gratitude ,not an ounce of respect from the person that supposedly loved her.

When I got in my first relationship I did what I thought was expected and by doing this I was conditioning the person I was with To expect this behavior from me , so on days that I did not fulfill my “wifely” duties

Then we would have fights and his Macho side would come to the surface ,the you will do as I say because I am the man side came out ,the why did you want a relationship if you where not ready BS came out ,it got so bad that I was afraid of fights and arguments I would make sure that I did what was expected . My duties included cooking ,cleaning,paying the bills and attending the kids .I was a maid without pay or at least that is what it felt like ,now I’m not bashing stay at home moms but this is not what it was for me I wanted to go out and work but I wasn’t allowed to , the man was the bread winner and my place was at home with the children ,it never crossed my mind , I am an adult I don’t need permission I can buy my own beer and smokes but I need permission to go work and socialize? The shit was ridiculous I was so ashamed for years that this happened to me I fell victim to this abuse and for a long time did not even realize it was abuse

Fast forward a few years now an adult and a very independent and successful woman , I don’t cook not because I don’t want to but because I have a very demanding Job ,who wants to come home from a long day of work to clean and cook ? As crazy as it seems , sometimes I feel like I am failing and I feel a sense of guilt , the funny thing is that because both my wife and I are working all the time neither of us expect anything from the other but coming from such a toxic environment its hard to break the chains and break the cycle .So I guess My question is are Latino women just as guilty of falling into the Machismo narrative ?