Picture it: Supernatural fandom, 2009.

Someone finds six clips of a movie Misha Collins made in 2003 called Moving Alan. In the clips, Misha plays a crazy hobo who washes his face and shaves and suddenly becomes hot. Later on, he sets a dead, naked clown on fire ala viking funeral. Said clown then hops up on the raft and begins flailing. Misha and the two main characters scream. That’s it. That’s all we got.

I was a member of an LJ capslock community called MISHALAND, and we collectively decided that the clown on fire (a ClownFire, if you will) was Misha’s only fear and greatest enemy.

Fast forward a year. No one has managed to find this fucking movie. It’s not on iTunes, Amazon, eBay. It’s like the damn thing doesn’t exist. But whatever. Somewhere between P. Diddy starting a holy war (betcha forgot about that one, huh) and the actual fucking Apocalypse, we let finding Moving Alan fall to the wayside.

And then. One glorious morning. I woke up. I logged into LiveJournal. And the first thing I saw. Scrolling across the top of the page. In sparkling pink letters.

LUCIFER IS CLOWNFIRE.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

One quick imdb search later, and, yeah. You guys. Lucifer is ClownFire.

News spread through the fandom. And suddenly it was Very Important that we find this movie in its entirety.

I think it was a couple of years later, but somehow the movie made its way onto Youtube. Great, right? Wrong. It was the Portuguese dub with no subtitles. But Castiel’s a crazy hobo, Lucifer’s a naked clown, and I am FUCKING HERE FOR IT!

And drunk. I was drunk when I watched it.

And that was it.

The Apocalypse came and went, as did Hallucifer. Misha’s fans stayed put. Mark’s fans followed him to Being Human, then Revolution (please stop killing my baby). We forgot again.

Until someone brought it up at a convention.

Picture it: Supernatural fandom, 2012.

A fan asks Misha about the movie at a panel. Misha makes mention of poking “Mark’s fleshy bare ass.” Asks how the fan liked the movie. Fan then reveals that we can only find the Portuguese version online, and the English one seems to just not exist. Misha seems displeased.

I swear to Chuck, you guys, a month or so later the entire movie appears on Youtube in English.

*ahem*

*channels Shane Dawson*

Hey, what’s up you guys.

Yes.

I seriously think Misha uploaded it for us using a sock puppet account.

*end conspiracy*

And that’s it. That’s the ClownFire saga. Wholesome, innocent fun involving Mark being set on fire and crazy persistent Misha Collins fans.

The end.

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