#fandom stories

I began watching in January of last year and stopped in mid-September… For me it was due to the emotional state I was always left with after watching at least a third of a season in a week! I very much like the concept of Supernatural (I’m a mythology nerd so I knew it was up my alley!)

But around the time I was about to start Season 12 Spn was nearing the end of its tenure on Netflix I was going to start but couldn’t bear to want to watch a show I liked but couldn’t continue because of my emotional state from watching the show!

I don’t hate the show at all! I love it! I’m very much active in the fandom a lot (I actually started watching Spn when I was suggested to by a friend) and Spn got me back into starting up writing fanfiction again!

A Rare pic of naked Dean and Cas 🧐

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Source :

Ok, first off let me say that Uncle Tokusatsu is what my brother calls me to my niblings because I have introduced them all to it.  I also like the moniker because it makes me feel like the older guy who brings the stories of the old days of fandom. That said, let’s take a trip back to 1997.   In 1996 I had begun to attend anime conventions.  My very first was Project A-Kon* in Dallas, Texas.  This was back when the convention was in a relatively small hotel called the Harvey (which is now the Crowne Plaza) in Addison, Texas.  To let you know how small these cons were back then, A-Kon was one of the oldest in the nation and it had an attendance the first year I went of 800 people.  The last modern A-Kon (they dropped the Project from the title after I stopped regularly attending) had an attendance of 34,684.   Needless to say, the modern Kon would never fit in a modest hotel like the Harvey/Plaza.

I knew people on staff at the Kon, notably folds on the video staff.  So, in 1997, when I attended my next A-Kon, I was able to get a special favor.  They had an opening in the schedule EARLY in the morning on Saturday and I basically begged, pleaded and volunteered to work if I could fill that spot. The Harvey had a pretty nice conference room, which was being used as the Main Video room for the convention.  This is where all the big premieres were shown such as Shin Kimagure Orange Road that year and they held special events like Hentai Fest late night on Saturday.  

So, I got a spot on the schedule for what I had brought with me, the first 4 episodes of the newest Super Sentai Series, Denji Sentai Megaranger in raw Japanese with no subtitles. I had gotten it from a local Japanese grocery store as they had a policy of getting new shows on VHS after they aired in Japan to keep the local Japanese diaspora current with what was airing back home.  It also gave us hardcore US fans a chance to see shows we could never get otherwise in the days before bittorrent and digital file sharing.

So, at 6am on Saturday morning my friend who ran the video room, about 12 hearty (or who partied all night and had not yet gone to bed) souls and I watched Super Sentai projected onto a big screen for the first time at A-Kon.  It went over fairly well and I got someone asking me for a copy.  Fortunately, back then people tended to bring VCRs with them to cons so we just hooked two together and I let him copy my tape.   This was my first time showing Toku at a con and since then, I have tried to do it at every convention I can.  I actually still run a Toku showcase late at night at Austin convention Ushicon and in 2019 I got to be on vidstaff at AnimeFEST in Dallas to program and show toku (including Megaranger off of the official DVD release).   So, that’s just one more story of the Early days of Toku fandom.  Now pardon me, I need to take my Geritol and go lie down for a while. *Project A-Kon took its name from the 1986 Parody Anime classic Project A-Ko which was one of the first anime I ever saw back in college in 1993.

2/2 Sorry if this is intrusive, feel free to ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable! And please know I always have your blog open in a tab, excited to refresh and see what you’re up too <3

Okay, first of all, 💞 thank you 💞, dear anon, for your very sweet words, support and thoughtful questions!

That being said, this might get long and a bit messy, because I have a lot of thougts and feelings on this topic!

Question 1, would I have changed things when I got kinda popular in the other fandom? No, I don’t think so.

I became a much better writer, I made so many au’s, I made so many friends, and I mean, did I get doxxed, threatened with death, harassed and targeted by a crazy person and their friends for having a different headcanon than them that one time?

Well, yes, I did, and yes, I would love to not have gone through that, but also, somehow, I would not have given up the good just to skip the bad!

Going through that shit also made me a lot stronger, and even more important, kinder.

These days I am spending way more time making sure everyone is okay, happy and safe than I do writing and creating, and while I miss some aspects of it, it makes me way more content and furfullied, I guess?

It also truly showed me that if you stay kind, don’t lie, keep the shittalk to a minimum and stay true to your word and opinions, it’ll make it way harder for people to tarnish your reputation and spread lies, because reciepts don’t lie, and if you’re a kind and helpful person, you’ll never be alone when shit gets hard.

In a weird way, I have never felt more loved online than when I was going trough that whole ordeal, because people from old and new circles and fandoms, anons, followers, strangers, seriously, so many people came out to help and support me, and it truly made me realize how what goes around, truly comes around.

And for question 2, not really, because I also write professionally irl, and I have a whole other pseudonym and identity connected to that, so having my little fanfic name and blog connected never really bothered me!

That post about fandom history I shared last night reminded me of the story of the first time I ever posted fanfic to the internet.

Now, I’d first written fanfic before I knew the name for it, when I was 12 and we didn’t have the internet.  But when I was 18 I got really into online fic for a bunch of different fandoms.  Eventually I found my way into Forever Knight fandom.  Now, if you have never heard of Forever Knight, I will understand.  It was a B-grade cult show even at the time.  It was a show about a vampire cop in Toronto.  But the fandom was awesome.  Just really passionate and community oriented, and that was what made it the first fandom I really interacted with online, rather than just lurking.

So I wrote a fic.  It wasn’t much, and looking back is pretty awful.  Just a PWP, but a PWP of a rarepair.  So at the time, there were two main listservs for the fandom.  A listserv, for the kids among us, was an email list where you sent an email to one central address and then everyone who was subscribed to the list got the email.  So you would get everyone’s fandom posts in your email inbox.  And you’d be subscribed to a BUNCH of these listservs if you were active, so imagine the amount of email you were wading through!  Anyway, there was one main list for discussion, with about 2000 people on it, the entire fandom.  Then there was one listserv for fanfiction.  This had an Adult setting, where if you posted something 18+ in nature, you would post to the Adult tag which was opt-in only for people affirming they were over 18.

So I wrote my porn and posted it to the Adult part of the fanfiction listserv.  Now, at the time, I had just moved across the country and into a new place.  I was using dial-up internet, since you could only really get cable internet if you were on campus or paid a BUNCH of money to have it installed.  And for some reason my dial-up wasn’t working right.  I had internet to post the fic, but then it stopped working and I couldn’t connect to see any reactions to it!!  The HORROR!

So three days later, desperate for feedback, I went to the local library in downtown Houston to check my email.  Now, this wasn’t gmail or hotmail or anything, this was my old universities email address I was using, so I was signing into their webmail page, which sucked.  So I’m standing up (for some reason their public computers didn’t have chairs), right in the middle of the library, checking my email for replies to my porn fic, trying to block people’s views of my screen, right?

And I have a bunch of emailed responses to my fic. (Keep in mind, these people had to email me DIRECTLY to reply.  There was no way to comment on fic.  Generally, in those days, you didn’t get comments.  People posted fic to webpages and if you wanted you could email them, but mostly you didn’t.  This was a little different because it was a listserv, and a small community, who kinda knew me a little.)  So I got a smattering of positive comments.  

But I also got a reply from the moderator of the listserv.  A reply which said that my fic was “too hardcore” and “too explicit” for their server.  Even for the Adult list! And that in the future, before I posted any other fic, I would need to submit it to them to have it approved.

I nearly died.  My face went bright red and I spluttered, there in the public library.  What the hell?  My fic?  I’d read plenty of things that were more explicit than mine.  How DARE she?

What was the content that was too controversial?  A m/f pairing with 100% vanilla sex.  Umm, but according to this person, something about the way I wrote it was just too DIRTY.  (I suspect now it was probably using works like cock instead of “manhood” or something.)  

So I did the logical thing, which was close my email, unsubscribe from all the fandom listservs and ghost the fandom entirely.  

As you do.

Of course, when I’d posted the fic, I’d given the standard permission for my fic to be archived on the Fandom Fanfiction Archive fkfanfic.net.  Every story in the fandom was saved there.  But what I didn’t expect was that it would be archived with the header of my email still attached, showing my university email address, and my Legal Name.  

It’s The ClownFire Saga.