#misterbadguy159

I’ve honestly never read it, but I prob should.

Jeanne d’Arc [Alter] (Fate/Grand Order)

favorite thing about them

I love Jalter. I love that despite her introduction in Orleans as an intimidating and completely evil enemy, when you get to know her in subsequent events and story chapters you discover that she’s just a big fucking loser. Winner of Chaldea’s biggest buffoon 3 years in a row. When she tried to become Santa by stealing the sack from Santa Alter it cemented her in my favorite character realm. 

least favorite thing about them

This is my gripe with a lot of female fgo characters where the writers don’t take them to their full potential in order to maximize their “waifu” status. Let Jalter cry, let her rage, show us the completely broken shadow of a heroic spirit filled with loathing for both herself and the world that created her. Let her lash out against the protagonist rather offhandedly telling them “don’t tell me what to do” but still being beholden to everything they say anyway. Let her hate, yet pity, Jeanne for the righteous anger she won’t allow herself to accept. And in the fire burning in Jalter’s eyes, let Jeanne see the emotions she truly felt at the very end; that she tries so hard to bury. 

OTP

Jalter x Salter

nOTP

Gilles x Jalter

random headcanon

Jalter has still not given up on becoming santa ruining christmas and has spent her afternoons plotting increasingly intricate ways to steal santa alter’s sack. All of which play out like a looney toons short. 

Santa Alter eats at the same spot in the cafeteria every day. It is an optimal spot, just close enough to the kitchen to catch someone’s attention but too far away to be yelled at by an angry emiya for being a nuisance. After several weeks of detailed surveillance Jalter had determined Santa Alter’s eating patterns. How long it took her to finish a cheeseburger. Her reflex time when someone called out to her while she was eating. How on her 4th helping, approximately 34% of the time she would leave her sack behind for the 20 seconds that it took to get more food. Jalter had it all planned out. After stealing the plans to the chaldea air vents she calculated and placed herself in the area of the ceiling right above where santa alter would be. Using her sword and magic, jalter managed to weaken the area of the ceiling just enough that a certain amount of pressure would make it fall to the floor and allow her access to the room below. 

She waited until lunch time and she could hear the voices of chatting servants. Just when Santa Alter was getting up for her 3rd helping, it happened. The stove, and all the food cooking on it went up in flames. You see, the night before Jalter had sabotaged the stove oh so slightly that after 311 minutes of operation the leak on the gas valve would open and subsequently create massive amounts of flame. 

Santa Alter was distraught by all her potential food burning and rushed over to try and quell the flames and salvage whatever she could. In that instant Jalter sent the ceiling panel plummeting to the floor and leaped towards the sack. Just as her fingertips were about to graze it, something incredibly fast banged into her and sent her careening towards the wall. 

It was Lobo, who grabbed the sack in his mouth and booked it straight out of the cafeteria. You see, Santa Alter had been collecting presents for all the servants and staff in Chaldea, one of which included: a massive amount of doggie treats. the good kind. It seems that even the great king of Currumpaw couldn’t resist treat-treats. 

In reaction, Santa Alter runs into the hall followed by an excessive amount of Excalibur Morgans and what sounded to be part of a wall collapsing. Laying against the wall, her master plan foiled by the innate desires of a dog, Jalter wondered why she even bothered. 

unpopular opinion

Jalter is good but not for the reason that a large portion of her fans like her. If you like her, but refuse to recognize that her main personality trait is “loser” you are weak. 

favorite picture of them

Transient, ephemeral pleasures are the best in this world. Anything else will always just disappoint you in the end. Get while the getting’s good.

Someone once said that they would not join any club that would allow them to be a member.

Doubtless they said it as a joke.

Hm. Not really anyone’s fucking business, but I’m originally from the Artimid flock. I look as though I am from the Corvid flock, I know. Artimids tend to be black and white.

Soon after my birth, the few feathers I had that were white like the rest of my families were shed and only black ones have grown in their place. One of the many reasons my supposed family banished me.

That and I disagreed with their shitty fucking behaviour.

A disclaimer:I am no way associated with Games Workshop and all of this is fan headcanon BS and people are more than allowed to not agree with me so lets not make this post blow up with everyone else’s thoughts on the matter?

some people just go through their Dragon Lore Phase and then never, ever grow out of it

She who thiiirsts has a rare and teehribble rit-u-aaaal...

Hwee hahve to puuht on the behst clothes we haaave, dye howor haaaair and go shoppeeng fohr soft breeeead.

Hwee dohn’t know hwhy.