An open letter
After much deliberation, I have made the decision to change the spelling of my surname from Grey to Gray. Here's why:Ā
Many of you are familiar with the issues Iāve had surrounding a woman named Michaela Grey, who took my choice of pen name as a personal affront to her. Over the past ten years, she has doggedly clung to her misguided belief that I āstoleā her name and that my decision to use it was an attack on her.Ā
Iām changing my name to Gray not because of this individual, but in spite of her. I know I have every right to use the name Grey, and nothing she says or does changes that fact. But over the last decade, itās become increasingly clear this person is unable to be reasoned with. Since I first became aware of her existence, she has engaged in increasingly hostile behavior. Sheās called me names, accused me of identity theft, and spread disgusting lies about me and what I write in attempts to discredit me. Sheās recruited her friends to likewise attack me, often en masse, repeating the same vicious rumors and insulting everything about me. One of the most common themes, repeated by everyone whoās targeted me, is how bad my writing is, and how Iām a laughable excuse for an author. Another running theme is that I write āhorse pornā, a reference to my very first book, which no longer exists but had horses in it. (No equines got it on, though.)Ā
Ms. Grey has sent me malware through spam in multiple attempts to infect my computer. She has doxxed me on Twitter. She has claimed Iām altering my appearance in an attempt to more closely resemble her and thus assume her identity. She's accused me of willingly perpetuating her childhood trauma as if I had any idea what her life was like. Sheās spread lies and vicious gossip, and even reported the recent fundraiser I held during my medical issues as fraudulent in hopes Iād be forced to pay back all the funds or face charges.
She has stalked, harassed, and bullied me for the past ten years, and even though I know Iāve done nothing wrong, itās increasingly obvious sheās only escalating. I do not wish my name to be tied to such an unpleasant, toxic individual. She cannot be reasoned with, and has shown repeatedly just how low sheās willing to go on her vicious crusade against me.
Thus, not because she asked me (she didnāt), but because I want nothing to do with her, I have decided to alter the spelling of my last name. Obviously this will be a complicated process. I have to change my name on all my books, including the cover art, and every iteration of it currently online. This will take quite some time. I have changed my display name to Michaela Gray on Twitter and Tumblr, but my username of greymichaela will remain the same on both sites. Iāve built a fan base under that brand and I refuse to let a single individual destroy everything Iāve created.
However, any new social media will be under the name graymichaela instead. If Ms. Grey had ever come to me as equals and said, āit makes me uncomfortable that youāre using my name, and I would appreciate it if you would consider changing it,ā I would have listened. Iām not the āfucking assholeā she says I am. Iām willing to be reasonable, and I work hard to be approachable. But she never did that. Instead she chose a vindictive campaign of harassment and abuse from the very jump, as if it were personally targeted at her instead of a stupid coincidence.
Sheāll probably think sheās āwonā. Thatās okay. I donāt care what she thinks, and if her narrative needs to twist the facts until sheās the hero and Iām the villain, thatās not something I can control.
Iām working four jobs to make ends meet. My son just got out of the hospital for suicidal intent. My daughter has severe health issues and no diagnosis yet. Iām a single mother raising three children with no help and no respite, and the last thing I need is more drama in my life.
Hence, from here on out, my name is Michaela Gray. I have no affiliation with, nor do I want anything to do with, the individual named Michaela Grey. Any further attacks from her or her friends will be reported to the authorities, along with all the evidence of her decade-long harassment campaign that Iāve been collecting for years.Ā
Thank you for reading
