#macguyver

Teal'c: "That is entirely too much hair, O'Niell."

Daniel: *mad* "Were you allergic to zipping up or jacket or something!?"

Carter: *furiously taking pictures of each photo* "For science reasons...." (none of them believe that for an instant)

Or

The Scorching Sun and the Storming Rot

In the Recent Past

Skystar, once the too-proud leader and Founder of Skyclan, looks down from the edge of Starclan upon the gorge.  Skywatcher is laying in the sun, blind eyes content and peaceful next to a kittypet tortoiseshell queen.  Kits play with balls of moss, warriors bring prey to their elders, and queens share tongues with collared kittypets.

Disgusting.

How DARE Starclan do this to HIS Clan!  First, they curse Skyclan’s tree to rot, then BANISH the BEST CLAN in the Territories, and now?! Now it’s all the dregs of felinehood – kittypets and loners, playing at being HIS CLAN because Starclan thought it was AMUSING!?!  HOW DARE THEY!!!

Skyclan should be regimented and only Clanblood!  Kits should be learning to hunt already!  Elders should be working until their appointed deaths! Queens should be subservient to their leader, not BE ONE!! Warriors should be KILLING these DUNGFACED KITTYPETS!!!!!  This is NOT HIS Skyclan, not a Proper Skyclan…if that blasted brother of his hadn’t stepped in, if those foolish Leaders hadn’t stepped in, if the STARS BE BLASTED Spirits hadn’t stepped in-

He tore at the ground beneath him in fury, hackles bristling and spittle flying as he raged.  Not even his mate, his beautiful malicious Star Flower, could understand him…she wanted power, oh how she wanted it all, but she was unwilling to endanger the power that Starclan gave their residents…but what was this power if his legacy was so muddled?

Skystar sighed, and turned his gaze from the ABOMINATION of a Clan the Stars wanted, but a flash of ginger caught his eye.  He turned back curiously – this was a familiar figure.  The ragged cat often prowled the edge of the territory, staring hatefully at the so-called Leafstar.  Skystar leaned in, hearing the tom rail against the group, clawing the turf as he screamed.  How DARE they reject him – how DARE that MOLLY be in charge – how DARE they banish him for his schemes!!  HE should be leader, pampered and protected!  He, Harry, should be the one in control!

Oh, now this is promising…

Skystar saw himself, in the days after the Spirits descended – powerless, but deserving of all he wished.  Now this cat – Half-Clanblooded at least – this cat had PROMISE.  So Skystar leapt, bounding through a suddenly storming sky, and appeared before the maned cat.

I can give you power, said Skystar, I can give you that and more.  All you have to do is get rid of that False Leader, and that Old Fool.  I am Skystar, and together, we will turn these lands into the most powerful Clan the world will ever see!  Harry, at first wildly afraid of the Literal Ghost that dropped from the stormclouds, smirked.  How could a dead cat give me anything?  Skystar’s face broke into a vicious grin – I will give your clever words Power, to ensnare and beguile and terrify – just take my paw. 

Harry hesitated for only a moment before agreeing, and extended a paw.  Skystar took it, and the wind howled around them, thunder rumbling a warning.  The shadows surged as rain whipped around them, stop stop STOP!

Behold, intoned Skystar, the Sun who rules the Skies!  Behold SOL!  (his back bulged with eyes, starless and sightless, a Geist of wild power being born of pettiness and hate) Harry – no, Sol - grinned maniacally, with a golden glow hidden behind his teeth.  He knew JUST who to talk to, just who to…Recruit…to take over the Clan…and now they All would Listen…

And in Starclan, Grey Wing looked down in horror.  Oh brother, what have you done?

The Journey to the Gorge and The Crisis

The combined group of Clowder and Clan cats set out on a sunny Newleaf morning.  Maguyver, as the one with the most Patrolling and Scouting experience, leads the group.  Frostfur and Hollowback, the most mobile of the Clan Elders, are helped along by a prospective Seer named Echo.  Loudbelly, who has gone nearly blind, is guided by Vespa, whose blindness has never stopped her before, and the hearty Bagel.  Yewtail leans heavily on the massive tom Hassle, and Mudfur keeps company with Lavinia, a pretty young molly who wants to be a Healer, and Pasqual, who hides shyly behind Lavinia most of the time. Mutter the Scout keeps the younger cats Gorgon, Spatter, and Jangle in line.  They make their way past Twolegs and thunderpaths, through old forests and over winding waters.  And within a remarkable amount of time, the Rescue Patrol has arrived at the edge of a marked territory.  Strangely, the sky is cloudy and the air heavy.  The group settles into a hollow log for the night, and the next morning Mutter scouts ahead. 

They return with news – there IS a group of cats in the Gorge ahead, but something is terribly wrong.  There are cats forcing Elders to clean the camp, and kits barely old enough to eat solids are picking the prey clean! Queens are being intimidated by brutes, and the Rogues – they MUST be Rogues – are led by a ginger, brown and white Tom.  Everyone is shocked and horrified – Frostfur moans at the thought of kittens in danger, and Bagel has to hold Loudbelly back from charging over and fighting the Rogues.  Macguyver asks Echo, who has the clearest Visions of Skyclan, who the Leader was.  She pauses, then points up to a nearby tree.  Her, she says, and a mottled tortie drops from the branches, followed by a ginger tom and several other cats, all collared or harnessed. 

The tortie glares at the Rescue Patrol – who are you, and how do you know me?  Did Sol send you!?  Macguyver steps in – no, Starclan sent us!  Mudfur joins him, then Frostfur and Echo.  We Saw you were in danger, Echo intones, and have come to offer our aid.  Mudfur explains that he and the other Elders are from the Clans, and that they came to help of their own volition.  The Tortie rears back, and looks over the group, finally seeing the Elders for what they were.  Hope glinting in her eyes, she introduces herself as Leafdapple, and after calling over her allies, tells them what’s happened.

She had met Skywatcher, who had been gathering cats to form a Clan.  She had become his right-paw cat, a deputy in all but name, as Skywatcher has refused to be named Leader.  After some time, a tom named Harry had asked to join.  They accepted him, but quickly understood something was wrong.  He was a decent hunter, and somewhat interested in herbs, but would consistently try to sabotage other cats.  He had led clanmates into rats and dogs, stolen prey from under the paws of others, and probably would have poisoned someone if not caught.  But he was clever with his words, and it took him kitnapping Leafdapple litter, to “save” them, for him to be banished.  But he had returned…changed somehow. 

He had a group of Rogues and Loners behind him, all either blank-eyed or bloodthirsty, and had overrun camp.  The kits had been taken, and their few elders forced into work.  Leafdapple and her Daylight Warriors – kittypets who returned to their homes at night – had escaped…but they’d lost several Warriors.  Skywatcher had been taken by some of the Rogues, and Sol, as he called himself now, paid them in prey that SHOULD have been feeding the Queens, kits, and Elders.  And every time the survivors planned some rescue or communication, he saw them coming!  They’d nearly lost several cats, and had been begging the stars for help.  But, Leafdapple sniffled, she never expected help to come after this long.  Had thought they had been forgotten.

And a voice rings out from above.

We did not forget you.

All look up, and a swirl of stars descend, and six starry cats materialize.  Willowpelt greets the Hope Clowder cats, and then introduces herself and the other Starclan cats to the stunned Skyclan cats.  Here, she says, is Cloudstar, who ruled Skyclan when it was wrongly Banished. This is Bumble and Turtle Tail, who helped found Thunderclan and redeem Skyclan in its early days.  And these are Jagged Peak and Grey Wing, who helped found all the Clans, with their kindness and cleverness.  I am Willowpelt of Thunderclan, and we know what has happened here – and we together, living and beyond, will defeat Sol.

And everyone has Reactions to this.  Mudfur and the Clan cats nod sagely, with Frostfur delighted to meet the first Crafter.  The Hope’s Rest Clowder cats are bouncing around, knowing Willowpelt from her frequent visits to the Clowder.  And the Skyclan cats are…wary.  Hopeful, but everything that has happened has made them hardened to any hope that comes.  Grey Wing apologizes to Skyclan for taking so long, and for not stopping Sol from gaining his Cursed Blessing of controlling others with his words, but that the Storming Rot - a cat he once called brother but is now a Stargeist - had been blocking them from helping, but the Clan cats and Clowder cats had essentially carried them here.  He then offers blessings to the cats – hiding them from the Stargeist and enhancing their senses until Sol and the Abomination are defeated, and Leafdapple is given her nine lives officially.  Leafdapple is elbowed by Billystorm, and she agrees, with stars in her eyes and hope in her heart.

Loudbelly asks that if he is blessed, that he be given the joints and senses of his youth, that he might rescue the prisoners.  The other Elders agree, with Hollowback noting that from Leafdapple’s description, Modern Skyclan has only Warriors, Queens, and Elders – no Camp Guards or Crafters or Herbalists or even a Healer, and simply asks for enough time to pass on his crafts, which the other Elders agree with as well.  Bumble and Jagged Peak are all for this.

The air smells of ozone and fresh snow, of mossy stones, of petrichor and heathered fields; the air shines like Silverpelt on moonless nights; and the air flexes like claws in battle.  The elders stretch and twist, like year-aged cats instead of well-lived elders.  Vespa notes that she can hear even farther than before, and Spatter leaps up a tall tree in only a few seconds.  Leafdapple laughs as her Daylight warriors bounce about like apprentices.  Turtle Tail promises her that she will receive her lives after they rescue Skywatcher, as he deserves to see his Clan get the Leader it deserves.

And as the Starclan Cats return to the skies, the living begin to plan.

The Rescue

The next day, Frostfur wanders into a Rogue patrol, and feigns that she had been looking for a place to bring her grandkits to live.  She toddles through camp, counting the prisoners, the blank-eyed and controlled, and the loyal Rogues.  She never sees Sol, and leaves the Rogues with seemingly giddy promises to return with her family.  The best lies are honesty, and she WILL be bringing cats she calls family there.  The skies are a little clearer, and in the shadows, something twists unhappily.

Mudfur, Lavinia, Pasqual, and Echo start gathering herbs for the coming skirmishes.  Pasqual and Lavinia are obviously mates, but had no issues in the Clowder.  Mudfur admits to having had a mate before becoming a Healer, and that another Oracular Healer, Fireheart, had been working behind the scenes to make it that any Healer might take a mate.  Echo, while preparing cobwebs, notes that she has never wanted a romantic relationship, and is assured that such a thing is absolutely fine.

Mutter and Harveymoon scout out where Skywatcher is kept – a small Twoleg nest kept by a Rogue named Dodger and his group.  Late that night, Hollowback and Leafdapple sneak in while Maguyver and Hassle bother Dodger out front with Sharpclaw and Ebonyclaw.  Skywatcher wakes to Leafdapple carrying him out, with Hollowback watching her tail.  A clattering from a Twoleg Thing (which Macguyver calls a trash can) sends the distraction cats hurtling back to the makeshift camp, and the Skyclan cats welcome their old friend back.  The full moon is but two nights away, and then Skywatcher will see his protégé become the Leader he Foresaw.  The clouds let the sky peak through, and the air is lighter with the promises of new life.

The next morning, Yewtail, Hollowback, Bagel, and Gorgon start setting up traps for the Rogues.  The invaders out to hunt found themselves stuck in pits, caught up in sticky honey and chased by bees, and every attempt at hunting thwarted.  This went on as the time until the full moon came. The day of the full moon, Macguyver, Hassle, and Bagel stroll up to the captured camp, and loudly demand that Sol meet with them.  The lanky Heretic oozes over, and Macguyver proclaims that he is represents the leader of a Clowder that wants the Gorge.  Hassle quietly states that unless Sol meets with them the next morning, that the Clowder will attack.  Bagel giddily purrs that maybe Sol can talk their leader into sharing instead of conquest.  Sol sneers, and agrees, but demands the meeting be at a particular clearing.  The deal is made, and the three cats trot off, content that the next step of the plan is complete.

The night came, and the free Skyclan cats and the Rescue Patrol gathered in a clearing.  The sky was, for once, clear of the strange clouds that gathered, and the moon and stars shone clearly. Leafdapple and Skywatcher sit together, and Echo calls upon Starclan to bless this Leader with nine lives, and the Wisdom of the Stars to guide Starclan.  The skies glitter and gleam, and six familiar Starclan spirits descend, followed by three unfamiliar spirits, that wait farther back from the rest.  The other living cats watch in awe and wonder.

Nine Lives and Three Precedents

Cloudstar greets Leafdapple and Skywatcher, thanking the molly for her care and the Elder for his enduring faith in them.  He then gives Leafdapple her first life, for having Enduring Faith in her Clan, the Stars, and herself.  Willowpelt rubs her head companionably against Leafdapple’s shoulder and gives her a life for Second Chances. Jagged Peak makes her laugh at a particularly bad pun (don’t worry, your reign won’t be a Cat-astrophe!) and gives her a life for Good Humor In Bad Times. Turtle Tail compliments her cunning, and gives her a life for Defending The Defenseless. Bumble smiles sweetly and gives her a life for Finding Joy In The Small Things. And Grey Wing approaches, I’m so proud of you, keeping your Clan as safe as you could in these times; he bestows a life for Knowing When To Ask For Aid.  And then he beckons the three spirits forward.

Three cat spirits wearing kittypet collars.

A grey tipped molly steps forward, introducing herself as Smoke.  Her face twists sadly, as she tells of loving a clan cat who rejected her, and dying to protect her kit.  Leafdapple apologizes for her having to go through such events, and Smoke smiles sadly.  My son is happy now, with a better father than his sire ever could have been.  Smoke then gives Leafdapple a life for Love and Affection, giving Billystorm a side-glance and a smile.  He flushes, and several cats break the solemn air with hoots, cackles, and coos.

The next cat steps forward, introducing himself as Jake.  He speaks of having an adventure with a Clan Cat, and falling in love with him.  Even after they were parted, he remembered the strength and faith of that tom.  He sighs, and remarks that his feelings for a cat he would never see again kept him from having any other relationships.  Jake steps forward, and gives Leafdapple a life for Knowing When To Let Go, and hopes that she will be a better parent than he was in life.

The last cat steps up, a tortoiseshell as well, but with a flat face.  I was named Wishkit at my birth, but was known as Nutmeg for the rest of my days. I was born a Clan Cat, lived as a Kittypet, and bore Kittypets, Clan Cats, and Hopeful Cats.  I give you your final life for Balance and Adaptability – may you find a way no matter the obstacles.  Welcome, Leafstar. Leafstar! The cry is raised, by the living and the dead.  Leafstar! LEAFSTAR!! LEAFSTAR!!!

(elsewhere, the Stargeist shakes and writhes, its eyes multiplying and mind fracturing.  something is wrong.  something has gone terribly wrong)

The Confrontation

The dawn comes, and Sol approaches the meeting grounds, his loyal Rogues at his side.  He left the controlled behind to guard the camp, knowing that Leafdapple would never be able to break the Power he holds over them – only the Stars could do that, and they cannot walk here. Sol scoffs, then looks up as the black and white cat from before appears.  My leader will be here shortly, he says confidently, they wished to be prepared for negotiations.

At camp, the controlled cats and a few loyal Rogues guard the den where the prisoners are held.  Suddenly, Loudbelly slams into the first Rogue, followed by Sharpclaw, Ebonyclaw, and Hassle.  Leafstar leaps onto the first controlled cat – Patchfoot shakes his head, and the green bleeding back into his eyes.  Petalnose embraces Rainfur as he comes back to himself, both weeping in relief.  The Rogues scatter, and the apprentices and Elders cry out in joy.  Leafstar, having freed Shortwhisker, calls out to them – come with me, we have a meeting to get to!

Sol spits angrily – time has passed, and the only cats to show are the black and white tom, an elderly brown tom, and a few hideous youngsters.  Where is your leader, you dung faced freaks?!?

Here I am, Harry. Here we all are.

Sol spins in shock – Leafdapple stares him down, rage in her eyes. Next to her is that white cat he heard wanted to join.  But behind her, behind her are his prisoners!  And his Controlled Cats! Whu-how!?  You have no power, Leafdapple! Sol sputters, and the dratted molly snarls at him – My Name Is Leafstar!

No.

NO!

A horrible noise echoes from the trees, and a twisted creature of eyes and wings and cat claws launches, bringing a stench of rot and illness.  It leaps towards Leafstar, who dodges and screeches a war cry.  Suddenly the trees are filled with cats, charging into the Rogues and scattering them.  As the Stargeist twists to attack her, a pair of shapes slam into it like meteorites – Grey Wing and Turtle Tail.  Sol does not stick around to find out how this goes, running at top speed away.  The Starclan Cats batter and shred the former Founder, and Grey Wing tears the belly of the beast.  With a sound like bones breaking and stars dying, the Stargeist faded away, with all the grace of a fish out of water.  Clear Sky – Skystar – was dead.

The Rogues scattered, and Skyclan rejoiced. The gorge was retaken, the Elders enstated in honor, and the Clowder cats gladly joining up.  The Cultures of the four Clans join with the Ancient Skyclan Culture.  Echosong teaches Frecklepaw to heal, and Lavinia and Pasqual celebrate a litter. Hawkpaw and Pebblepaw fall in love, and Hawkwing and Pebbleshine watch the world go by.

Within a year, all the elders passed into Starclan, at peace that the future would hold wonders…even if it held pain as well.

(in the stars, a fading golden molly snarls and grieves. How dare someone take her mate from her)

Time passed.

(Rain seethed, his glorious leader had left him – but he would destroy the Clans himself.  He would fall on them, like his namesake…)

(Late one night, Leafstar and Billystorm are awoken by Skywatcher’s spirit.  She startles awake, as her old friend screams.

RUN!  WAKE THE CLAN AND RUN!

More wails of danger shake the air, and Leafstar bolts from her den.  Frostfur is loading Macguyver with kits, Mudfur is shaking Frecklepaw awake, Loudbelly is rallying the Brawlers and Warriors.  Hollowback is shoving apprentices out of their dens with a frantic Jangle, and Yewtail is helping Echosong load up on herbs.

A cry splits the night. Followed by more and more and more.

Rogues pour into camp.

The Clan scatters.

Rain laughs wildly – Skyclan is no more! Scattered like leaves! Like prey!

But there will be five clans.