#letterofexpression

I am writing this letter to express my feelings about how much you have affected me these past few day. You practically don’t have even the slightest idea of how much you basically control me (more like my mood) but, I really wish you would have also felt the same.

For this past few days, I have been constantly thinking about you. Literally, everything, almost everything I do is driven by the thoughts of you. 

You make me smile, chuckle, grin and smirk. But, at the same time you make me feel so irritated, erratic, worried, disturbed and mad. All these mixtures of emotions that you make me feel can probably be labeled as stupid, but, I am feeling all of these wide range of emotions because of you. In just a matter of days, you make me feel these various emotions. I am almost inclined to say that I love you but, I have yet to make sure of that though. I mean, I don’t know for sure if I am just infatuated with you. Because, yes, I am like 20-something yet in terms of this confusing world called love, I still haven’t figured out its science yet. I have yet to explore more and do research in this field that is far too mind-boggling and deep. All I know, is I am still at the tip of the ice-berg for such matter. 

These past few day, you made me smile a lot yet really erratic as well. That feeling of you liking my posts or liking my day, I really feel this “kilig”. They say, it is the start of truly liking someone when you feel this for such little things that seems to be really big in such times. I keep on thinking about those times as well when we chatted each other. Yes, it was full of inquiries about medical things but dang! When we got into exchanging  of opinions and facts about things that were both new to us, that was the time I felt extreme feelings of liking you. 

I began to constantly want to chat you, want to know you even more but then, it came to a point where the exchange of wits and information, facts and deliberation became such rare events. Regardless of this, I still wanted to really want that communication and connection with you. Still, wanting and waiting. 

I always remember how you made me feel like when we chatted though. First, I smile, and get a bit giddied up. Then our chat box went a little bit lively and I begun to really have that huge curve on my lips. A little while later, it was like the only thing I give attention to was our conversation and my friends even asked what kept me busy as I could not entertain them because of you. So funny of how at those moments, I can vividly remember how I always kind of roll back and forth in my bed with that big grin in my face. Sometimes, I even do face-palms in both of my hands just because I can’t believe I was chatting with you. I can’t believe how I was feeling at that moment I was chatting with you. I was in a state of incredible “kilig”. In a state of extreme bliss that I knew, I like you.

You know, you kind of make me mad as well over these past few days. I mean, I feel so much irritated at times when you do not chat me anymore. I constantly think of ways to get to chat you. Constantly finding topics that would entice you to chat back. I felt so worried that you might know I already have this feelings of liking you so much but, at the same time, felt so disturbed whenever you don’t get to chat me or like my posts.  

I don’t know...I... I really have no clue right now if this is infatuation or not. It is just that, I feel so happy and great whenever we chat, feel so irritated and sad whenever we don’t. I keep on wondering about you and think about you.

I don’t know, but, I think it is also to much to say that I love you. All I know, right now, is that, I like these fleeting moments of simple conversations and virtual gestures that made me like you this much.