Cosmere Characters, Kelsier and Hoid are Dating! Your reactions?
As requested by @i-am-a-radioactive-paperclip :)
Previously in this series: Leshwi/Kaladin, Kaladin/Lezian, Shallan/Vin, Kaladin/Kelsier, Renarin/Rlain, Shakadolin, Shallan/Kaladin, Kaladin/Adolin, Jasnah/Shallan, and Raboniel/Navani.
Note: this post does not contain any WAT spoilers or Era 2 spoilers (to the best of my ability) per requester's request. I'm assuming Secret History spoilers are a go!
Vin: Kelsier is dating...that one beggar who gave him information sometimes...?
Vin: ...
Vin: But why
Shallan: [solemnly hands Hoid a plaque]
Shallan: I thought talking about poop on a first date was bad.
Shallan: But corpse-surfing into a room and then beating a guy up? Now that's bad.
Hoid: [reading the plaque] "Worst...first...impression...award"?
Shallan: You've earned it, champ.
Tress: Didn't Hoid call this guy his "old nemesis"?
Tress: Why would they date if they're enemies?
Salay: [putting a gentle hand on Tress's shoulder] Are you in good place to learn information that might hurt you?
Tress: ...Yes?
Salay: Sometimes, when people hate each other in the right way...
Marsh: After Mare, I didn't really believe that my brother would ever date again.
Marsh: But I didn't consider the possibility that he might date someone who is functionally immortal.
Marsh: ...
Marsh: I guess he really doesn't want to go through that loss again.
Frost: Hoid, who can do no violence (and yet insists on getting overly involved anyway) is now dating a man who kills as easily as he once breathed.
Frost: Hoid has an attack dog.
Frost: ...
Frost: I do not like where this is going.
Hoid: Fired from being the Queen's Wit?! But why?
Jasnah: You are dating the head of the organization that orchestrated my assassination.
Hoid: ...
Hoid: ...
Hoid: Oh. Right.
Leras: Kelsier, listen, I get it.
Leras: Dating the dangerous bad boy is thrilling.
Leras: But then, before you know it, you're trapped on a planet together in a choking, toxic relationship!
Kelsier: [glaring]
Leras: I-I'm telling you this as a friend!
Kelsier: Are you implying that I'm NOT the dangerous bad boy in this relationship?!
Leras: ...
Leras: It may be too late for me to help you.
Ati: Kelsier, listen, I get it.
Ati: As a certified god-puncher, you wanna date the guy who killed the god.
Kelsier: ....and?
Ati: Hmm? No, that's it.
Ati: I'm saying I get it. This relationship makes total sense to me.
Kelsier: ...
Kelsier: That's the opposite of comforting...
Design: Hoid, are you erotically inclined toward men you can beat up?
Design: Does that make you a "dom"?
Design: If so, isn't pretty sad that your soulweb literally prevents you from doing violence?
Design: Will the sex therefore be somewhat hollow and unsatisfying for you? Forever?
Design: Is that why you look so grumpy right now?
Design: Hey how come you're ignoring me?
Sazed: If anyone understands opposites attracting, it's me.
Sazed: But that's not what this is.
Sazed: If anything, they're too similar.
Sazed: At least in terms of their need to know, their need to survive no matter what, and their need to get what they want no matter the consequences.
Sazed: ...
Sazed: The Cosmere might not survive this one.