#jeith week

“Thanks guys.” Hunk says, he looks embarrassed, rubbing the inside of one wrist with his thumb. “I’m glad I got to see my parents. Even if we couldn’t help them this time.” He adds hesitantly.

“No problem, Hunk.” Veronica says, giving him an easy smile, and Hunk grins back.

Keith wonders if they knew each other, before all of this. Before pilot error, before Voltron, before the Galra attacked. Or if their easy connection is because so much of Lance is also in Veronica. He’s never been great with people, but even Keith can recognise their similarities; their smiles, their absolute care for others.

“But you should eat something, Hunk.” Veronica adds after a beat, pulling Hunk away by the shoulder. “And then to bed.” Keith hears her add, Hunk gives him a quick glance, a half smile, as he lets Veronica haul him towards the kitchens.

And then it’s just Keith and James. Alone, in the giant Garrison hanger. It’s lined with cars, with wheels large enough to handle any terrain. The jets are at the very back, the ones James and the other MFE Pilots fly, loom over the rest of them creating long shadows. Keith is hit with a sudden need to run, to get out of this situation as fast as possible, but Hunk and Veronica are already gone.

He glances back at James, who’s watching him with folded arms and arched eyebrows.

He looks anywhere but his eyes.

“I-I should go, too.” He stammers out, his voice weaker than he would have liked.

Come on. Some leader of Voltron. You can’t even look him in the eye. The voice in the back of his head taunts.

But James reaches out, a split second faster than Keith can react, his hand gripping Keith’s upper arm like a vice.

“No.” He says, his voice low, moving into Keith’s space, crowding him, so close that Keith can smell his aftershave. He recognises it.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me.” James says as Keith wrenches his arm out of his grip, finally meeting his gaze.

“What do you want, Griffin?” He asks, trying to put as much distance between them with his tone, his choice of name. He hasn't called him that for years. It hadn't taken long for him to fall into using James' given name, not after everything. The steely expression on James’ face flickers for an instant, before his mouth returns to a hard line.

Keith had been trying to avoid James since they returned to the Garrison. He’d tried to leave James behind on Earth as he and the other Paladins, crammed inside the cockpit of a blue mechanical lion, shot into space. It had worked, for the most part. James had become a distant memory, so apart from his life as a Paladin that it became difficult to reconcile who he was with James to who he is now.

But since he’d crashed back to Earth, crashed back practically into James, he’d tried to avoid his gaze. He’d tried to avoid letting his eyes trace the shape of his body through the MFE uniform.

They hadn’t exchanged words alone yet. Both too caught up in meetings and duties and missions.

“I want to know where you’ve been.” James says and Keith can feel the anger rising inside his chest at the words. Can feel the way James has already got back under his skin, like the dirt under his fingernails.

“I’ve been fighting in an intergalactic space war, piloting a giant flying lion, to try and stop the Galra from invading this planet and hundreds of others.” He spits out.

James just looks him up and down. Keith knows that it’s not the right answer. He knows it’s not what James is asking, not really.

Keith holds his gaze, not willing to be the first to break away. Not for James. Not today.

“Where were you Keith?” James asks, emotion cracking open his words, his hard, leader of the MFE's, second best pilot in the Garrison, top of the class, facade breaking right in front of Keith’s very eyes. James had always been the strong one in this, whatever sat between them. He'd been the one to try to pick up Keith's pieces after Shiro, after pilot error. But now their positions have switched. And It's Keith's fault.

“Why did you disappear?” James tries again, the words tumbling out of his mouth hard and fast, his hands finding purchase on Keith’s shoulders, clutching tightly to the paladin armour, shaking him lightly.

“The Garrison said you had been expelled, but you disappeared, there was no way to contact you, and it was right after we-” but Keith can’t let him continue, can’t let him spill the contents of their shared past onto a hanger floor.

He can’t hear it, not from James. Not today.

Not when so much has already been found and lost. His mother, found, but then left on an unknown planet to rebuild the Blades. Shiro, lost and then found. And then found again. His father, dead. Any hope of happiness he had on Earth, sabotaged with a punch to Iverson’s face.

“I ran away!” Keith cuts him off. His own breath coming out heavy. James looks momentarily shocked, pulling back slightly at Keith’s outburst.

“I ran, okay?” He continues, his voice louder than he wants it to be. But he can’t seem to speak any quieter. His emotions won’t let him.

“I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle pilot error, couldn’t handle being alone again. I never fit in here, James. So I left.”

But that wasn’t entirely true. He couldn’t let himself be happy. He hadn’t deserved it. Hadn’t deserved those few night of happiness. Not after pilot error. Not when Shiro was dead. He hadn’t deserved to get close to someone. Every time he did they had ended up dead.

“You left me.” James says, his voice raw from five years of pain.

And Keith is caught off guard by it. By an unsure and vulnerable James. It’s such a contrast from the James he knew. The one who could match him in fire. The only one who could match him in piloting. The only person who could shout as loud as he could; who could throw a punch as hard as he could. The only one who could kiss the fire in him into softness…

“I know.” Keith feels himself say. His throat feels like sandpaper, and it hurts him to speak.

James looks older now, Keith can still recognise him, despite the differences. He’s taller and his shoulders have filled out.  But his eyes are the same, filled with the same determination. It almost burns into Keith as James meets his eyes again. They’re inches apart, the tension between them dissipating into something low and dangerous. The end of a match before it’s been lit. Full of potential. But not ready to explode just yet.

“I was falling for you.” James says softly.

And then he moves forward, hands moving towards Keith’s face, gripping it lightly between them, thumb tracing the scar on his right cheek.

“Tell me to stop.” James says, so softly that Keith’s not sure if he was even meant to hear it.

But he doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t want James to stop.

Chapped lips meet his, and Keith responds instantly, his own mouth moulding to fit James’ like two puzzle pieces.

James takes a step forward until Keith is against the Garrison car, his body pressing against Keith’s until all Keith can think is:

James James James.

All he can feel is James. And he lets himself become engulfed in it, lets the fire take him.