#jaith week

“Thanks guys.” Hunk says, he looks embarrassed, rubbing the inside of one wrist with his thumb. “I’m glad I got to see my parents. Even if we couldn’t help them this time.” He adds hesitantly.

“No problem, Hunk.” Veronica says, giving him an easy smile, and Hunk grins back.

Keith wonders if they knew each other, before all of this. Before pilot error, before Voltron, before the Galra attacked. Or if their easy connection is because so much of Lance is also in Veronica. He’s never been great with people, but even Keith can recognise their similarities; their smiles, their absolute care for others.

“But you should eat something, Hunk.” Veronica adds after a beat, pulling Hunk away by the shoulder. “And then to bed.” Keith hears her add, Hunk gives him a quick glance, a half smile, as he lets Veronica haul him towards the kitchens.

And then it’s just Keith and James. Alone, in the giant Garrison hanger. It’s lined with cars, with wheels large enough to handle any terrain. The jets are at the very back, the ones James and the other MFE Pilots fly, loom over the rest of them creating long shadows. Keith is hit with a sudden need to run, to get out of this situation as fast as possible, but Hunk and Veronica are already gone.

He glances back at James, who’s watching him with folded arms and arched eyebrows.

He looks anywhere but his eyes.

“I-I should go, too.” He stammers out, his voice weaker than he would have liked.

Come on. Some leader of Voltron. You can’t even look him in the eye. The voice in the back of his head taunts.

But James reaches out, a split second faster than Keith can react, his hand gripping Keith’s upper arm like a vice.

“No.” He says, his voice low, moving into Keith’s space, crowding him, so close that Keith can smell his aftershave. He recognises it.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me.” James says as Keith wrenches his arm out of his grip, finally meeting his gaze.

“What do you want, Griffin?” He asks, trying to put as much distance between them with his tone, his choice of name. He hasn't called him that for years. It hadn't taken long for him to fall into using James' given name, not after everything. The steely expression on James’ face flickers for an instant, before his mouth returns to a hard line.

Keith had been trying to avoid James since they returned to the Garrison. He’d tried to leave James behind on Earth as he and the other Paladins, crammed inside the cockpit of a blue mechanical lion, shot into space. It had worked, for the most part. James had become a distant memory, so apart from his life as a Paladin that it became difficult to reconcile who he was with James to who he is now.

But since he’d crashed back to Earth, crashed back practically into James, he’d tried to avoid his gaze. He’d tried to avoid letting his eyes trace the shape of his body through the MFE uniform.

They hadn’t exchanged words alone yet. Both too caught up in meetings and duties and missions.

“I want to know where you’ve been.” James says and Keith can feel the anger rising inside his chest at the words. Can feel the way James has already got back under his skin, like the dirt under his fingernails.

“I’ve been fighting in an intergalactic space war, piloting a giant flying lion, to try and stop the Galra from invading this planet and hundreds of others.” He spits out.

James just looks him up and down. Keith knows that it’s not the right answer. He knows it’s not what James is asking, not really.

Keith holds his gaze, not willing to be the first to break away. Not for James. Not today.

“Where were you Keith?” James asks, emotion cracking open his words, his hard, leader of the MFE's, second best pilot in the Garrison, top of the class, facade breaking right in front of Keith’s very eyes. James had always been the strong one in this, whatever sat between them. He'd been the one to try to pick up Keith's pieces after Shiro, after pilot error. But now their positions have switched. And It's Keith's fault.

“Why did you disappear?” James tries again, the words tumbling out of his mouth hard and fast, his hands finding purchase on Keith’s shoulders, clutching tightly to the paladin armour, shaking him lightly.

“The Garrison said you had been expelled, but you disappeared, there was no way to contact you, and it was right after we-” but Keith can’t let him continue, can’t let him spill the contents of their shared past onto a hanger floor.

He can’t hear it, not from James. Not today.

Not when so much has already been found and lost. His mother, found, but then left on an unknown planet to rebuild the Blades. Shiro, lost and then found. And then found again. His father, dead. Any hope of happiness he had on Earth, sabotaged with a punch to Iverson’s face.

“I ran away!” Keith cuts him off. His own breath coming out heavy. James looks momentarily shocked, pulling back slightly at Keith’s outburst.

“I ran, okay?” He continues, his voice louder than he wants it to be. But he can’t seem to speak any quieter. His emotions won’t let him.

“I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle pilot error, couldn’t handle being alone again. I never fit in here, James. So I left.”

But that wasn’t entirely true. He couldn’t let himself be happy. He hadn’t deserved it. Hadn’t deserved those few night of happiness. Not after pilot error. Not when Shiro was dead. He hadn’t deserved to get close to someone. Every time he did they had ended up dead.

“You left me.” James says, his voice raw from five years of pain.

And Keith is caught off guard by it. By an unsure and vulnerable James. It’s such a contrast from the James he knew. The one who could match him in fire. The only one who could match him in piloting. The only person who could shout as loud as he could; who could throw a punch as hard as he could. The only one who could kiss the fire in him into softness…

“I know.” Keith feels himself say. His throat feels like sandpaper, and it hurts him to speak.

James looks older now, Keith can still recognise him, despite the differences. He’s taller and his shoulders have filled out.  But his eyes are the same, filled with the same determination. It almost burns into Keith as James meets his eyes again. They’re inches apart, the tension between them dissipating into something low and dangerous. The end of a match before it’s been lit. Full of potential. But not ready to explode just yet.

“I was falling for you.” James says softly.

And then he moves forward, hands moving towards Keith’s face, gripping it lightly between them, thumb tracing the scar on his right cheek.

“Tell me to stop.” James says, so softly that Keith’s not sure if he was even meant to hear it.

But he doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t want James to stop.

Chapped lips meet his, and Keith responds instantly, his own mouth moulding to fit James’ like two puzzle pieces.

James takes a step forward until Keith is against the Garrison car, his body pressing against Keith’s until all Keith can think is:

James James James.

All he can feel is James. And he lets himself become engulfed in it, lets the fire take him.

There is a fear clinging grimly in the air. He can feel it. It is drawing closer.

Keith takes a deep breath; it is not the time to be fear-paralyzed. He decides the best thing to do is to keep on walking. The memory of how he got himself in that unknown place is vague, practically non-existent, but it is there. He knows it was his fault, somehow; as he knows that he has to fight his way out. There’s a war outside, and he’s got to keep on fighting. He possesses no time to waste inside of wherever place he’s stuck in. He owes it all to his friends, to his family.

Chills run up his spine, that isn’t something normal. He stumbles awkwardly and falls.

Damn it! His vision betrayed him and he lost his balance. The fall is abrupt, and he hits water, no. It is not water, for it is way too dense and hot. His exposed skin is aching. No, it is severely burning. He gasps because of the dreadful feeling to regret his decision as soon as the viscous liquid makes its way into his mouth. Nasty.

Keith opens his eyes; he needs to focus in order to get out of there. Then he sees it. His skin is purple, and his ears hurt. Everybody is in front of him, looking at him with vindictive hatred; he’s used to the stares full of reject, but that hatred….

Not even the fake Shiro looked at him like that. It hurts, it hurts bad. He turns to Allura, the same glare, Lance, Pidge, even Hunk, and Coran. His thin fingers reach for the crystal, maybe if he gets to fracture it all will end. The gaunt faces of the people he knows and cares about mingle together, creating a hideous creature. Keith recognizes him. He knows him!

The druid he fought in that armed Galra cruiser. Why is he there? What has he done to him? He screams or tries to. More corrosive liquid goes through his sore throat against his will. Keith knows he’s not going to last much longer.

The druid’s hideous face transforms once again, this time, he has stolen the face of James. He cannot stand it. The glass breaks harshly under his fists, blood splatters everywhere. The air is burning his sensitive nostrils, but at least there is air this time. Darkness follows.

Keith screams one last time as he sits bolt upright. Heavy droplets of sweat fall from his jaw, he is soaked and cold.

He cannot be in that dingy room anymore. If he hears another tick coming from the used clock on the wall, he’s going to genuinely scream in despair. As fast as his numbed members and his ragged breathing allow him to, he grabs his shabby jacket and puts on his boots.

The air in the corridor is cold. Colder than he remembers the nights in the middle of the desert.

A noise catches his attention; his eyes scan the place for the source of such.

“You look like a cat that's been possessed,” a familiar voice says. Keith tunes all his senses toward the direction from where it came from.

James is standing there, in the middle of the corridor. So many hours past curfew. Keith’s first thought is to merely pass him and not to engage in reckless provocation. James’ dark eyes are shining and following his every breath. Keith shudders, he doesn’t know what to do. Should he answer his comment? After all, Galra are really similar cats in so many aspects. It was not an insult, even if the MFE’s pilot meant it like one. Is Keith really that scary at night? He wonders if his eyes shine yellowish or something.

Before he can stop his mind and make a decision about answering or ignoring James, the before mentioned speaks once again.

“Do you still have a sweet tooth?” Asks James out of the blue. Keith is startled, he can barely nod his head in confusion; that makes the other pilot chuckle. “Of course you do, sugar is the downfall of us, southerners.”

None says nothing. James just starts walking and Keith instantly follows him, dumbfounded. Is he undoubtedly going after James Griffin, an avid rule follower, into one of the Kitchens at midnight?

He guesses some things actually change. He can’t help but smirk at the memory of a younger James scolding or trying to scold him, for not obeying rules and more. The leader of Voltron wonders, if he could travel back in time and report this to a 16-years-old James, what face would he make? He would deny it and even challenge him for lying. There’s a funny mental image in his head.

He is so immersed in his thoughts, that he doesn’t acknowledge James’ presence until a steaming cup is placed in front of him. He arches a brow, James only points at it.

“Drink it,” he says. “It’ll warm you up.” Keith doesn’t get it at first. He doesn’t need any kind of warming.

However, he stills grabs the cup. He inhales, it has a nice aroma coming from it. Sweet and spicy. He wonders if it tastes the same. Tentatively, he sips it. It is better than he had expected it to be. He can’t describe the taste with words, for he has long forgotten them, but maybe the most precise thing to it is home. James has half a smile on his face, Keith nods his head not knowing what to say to him. He didn’t know the MFE’s pilot was qualified to cook until now. It was, certainly, a pleasant surprise.

Keith lets go of his thoughts. He is completely immersed in the healing sensation, so deep inside that, he doesn’t notice that James is cleaning one of his hands. When he realizes his guard is down, he fidgets.

But the other young man is not having any of it. He pulls more vigorously—without hurting him more—and continues the proper treatment. The Black Paladin is just noticing the dried blood covering his left hand. He had hurt himself, again.

“I know,” James says gently. He lets go carefully of Keith’s hand once it is perfectly clean and bandaged. Keith doesn’t need to ask. They don’t require words to convey themselves to the other, that astonishes and terrifies him at the same time. Deep down, Keith is glad he doesn’t have to relieve the thought of his horrid nightmares.

Because this is not the first (even though it has been so far one of the worsts), and surely, will not be the last one. James coughs, his face is slightly red.

“The first time I heard it,” he says, eyes everywhere but in Keith. “I called Mawmaw; this is her recipe.” A pregnant silence falls between them. Keith’s whole face is hot—he doesn’t know if it’s because of the chocolate, or for the embarrassing fact that James has heard him scream and fight in his dreams, or….

“You did it for me,” Keith says, even though he intended it as a question. He’s a blunt person, and he will always be. James’ face goes redder than before. Neither of them is looking into the other’s eyes, but they can’t stop staring at the other. It is fine, Keith believes that if it’s with James everything is fine. “Thanks.” He mumbles as he takes another sip.

“I’m sorry, Captain” he murmured looking down, trying in vain to hide the big smile that curved his mouth and was crooked in effort to make it go back to a serious and professional expression.

“That’s okay” Shiro said patting his shoulder with his prosthetic arm, a knowing tone in his voice, “You don’t need to hide it. Every single form of life get happy when there’s someone eager to meet their culture. Just don’t get creepy, like last year.”

James huffed, not surprised when that came up again, but the shame always felt big enough to wish any planet he was on to consume him in a big swallow.

“You didn’t need to mention that” he complained, Shiro laughing beside him, “You should stop spending time with Commander Holt, Sir.”

“Matt is my friend, so I think I won’t” Shiro said, this time James looking at him while his superior scanned the room with an easy smile, “But thank you for your concern.”

James smiled, not even trying to contain it, as he looked over the room one more time, the eagerness and excitement bubbling up his insides.

“Stay close, okay?” Shiro said glancing him for a bit, “I want you to meet someone later.”

“Yes, Sir” James answered with a nod, gaining a wide smile from his superior before he went to greet an acquaintance.

And James stayed there, surprised by the proud smile he had only seen few times before, and never that clear and big. He has probably going to meet someone really awesome if Shiro looked so happy and proud.

He left himself get away for a bit, sipping on his drink that was nearly as sweet as orange juice but leaving a weird tickling in his mouth, and started to greet the people he knew from previous meetings, chatting and smiling the most professional he could with all the excitement drumming in his veins. He finished his drink and went to get more, feeling too fond to the weird tickle and blue color, but he froze in place, stopping his hand half way to the tray of drinks a waiter had and staring shocked as a new group entered the room, their huge figures and purple skin making James stare more than he should.

The one in the front walked with a lot of grace and determination, little marks below his eyes glowing as he smiled and greeted people in his way. His white hair was really long, and James didn’t need to think about it too much to know he was Prince Lotor, from the Galra.

He was half-Altean, his mother being an alchemist from Altea that fell in love with Zarkon, the king of the Galra. Prince Lotor was really proud of being half breed, as he didn’t hide his altean markings like some of the people have been doing at first.

James looked away, knowing he shouldn’t be staring like that, and only then took a moment to see the other people that has with him, identifying them as his generals, three of them half breed like him, and the two completely Galra. James stared at the seventh one, shorter that the rest, but his skin was purplish, too, looking paler than the rest but still like part of them. He had never seen him before, not in other Alliance Meetings or in interviews in television, just as the other five generals. And he was strangely attracted to the only strip of dark purple crossing down his right cheek, as if more than a Galra mark it was a scar.

The new-come Galra was glancing in every direction, just as James remembers he did in his first Alliance Meeting, too awestruck with all the new things in his life that he didn’t care everyone was amused by it. And Shiro was right: Every single one was happy to see someone so eager to talk about their planets and lives, James being the one who caught more attention that first meeting. But that Galra actually hided his excitement quite well, his sparkling indigo eyes being the only way to know how amazed he was by being there.

James huffed, finally snatching a drink, and froze again when those big eyes caught him staring, his purple face lighting up in something James felt deep inside his chest but couldn’t place at all. The Galra stopped walking, his sight roaming up James face, and he swallowed nervously in self-consciousness, tilting his drink to his mouth and swallowing the whole thing without even caring about the sour at the end of his throat.

He coughed, covering his mouth, and the roughness cleared away a bit, making him look up to the Galra and catching him smiling at him crookedly, as if he didn’t want to smile in the first place. James cleared his throat, seeing a flash of sharp canines in his brief open smile, and he glanced his big hairy ears above his head straighten up and turn to the way the other Galra Generals went, looking in that direction and then glancing at James one last time before following their steps.

Oh, he has a tail, too, swinging from side to side in each step in a more conscious movement than his long braid of black hair.

James had to swallow again, and turned to a waiter to ask for water when the sour flavor of the drink didn’t get away, just like the flutter in his stomach that that smile caused.

James obviously will blame the alien drink.

“Hey, James!”

He almost choked in the water another waitress brought him, having to hold his neck because of the strain and straightening to see Shiro smiling at him funny.

“What?” he said with his voice too worn out, and he had to cough more to get it to be normal, “Yes, sir?”

Shiro laughed and patted his upper back, making him stumble a little.

“Come here, let me introduce you” he said grabbing his shoulder and dragging him a few meters while he tried to free himself.

“W-what are you-? You shouldn’t behave like this, Sir!” James spouted just before he was pushed a bit and onto his feet, “What…?”

He found himself looking a dark chest plate, purple glowing from the lines, and he backed up a step, tilting his head up to face the person in front of him, going completely still because of the deep frown and yellow eyes glaring at him.

“General Kolivan, this is Official Griffin” he heard Shiro introduce him with an amused tone, “James, this is General Kolivan, founder of the Blade of Marmora and one of Lotor’s Generals.”

James didn’t had the enough force, or courage, to move below that yellow stare, but he managed a short nod, hearing Shiro snort beside him.

“He’s funny” General Kolivan deadpanned, looking at Shiro and letting James breathe, “He’s the one you told us about?”

“Yeah” Shiro said patting James shoulder fondly, “James is the youngest Official on Earth HQ.” he announced proudly, a smile creeping out from James, “Some of his classmates are getting promoted this year, but James’ the first one to make it so far in very short time.”

Kolivan let out a sound that James identified as acknowledgment, and he felt more relaxed below his yellow eyes.

“Congratulations, Official” he said with a nod, and James sighed with relieve.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Kolivan, look at this” one of the other generals said getting to his side with a plate so full of appetizers that James wondered how she managed to not drop any of them, “They have all the snacks you like. I gathered them for you.”

Kolivan looked down to the plate, and James almost fainted at seeing his mouth curve up a tiny bit.

“That… Thank you, Krolia.”

She smiled widely, handing him the plate, and then she looked at him and Shiro, her eyes glinting at the latter.

“Captain Shiro” she regarded with a nod, “So good to see you.”

“My pleasure, Krolia” Shiro said with another nod, shooting a glance at James, “This is Official Griffin. He’s my responsibility this evening.”

“Kind of the other way around” James whispered and got elbowed by Shiro in his side, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, madam.”

“He seems really mature to be your responsibility, Captain” Krolia noted crossing her arms with a knowing smile, “I have to agree with him, it looks like they assigned him to you to babysit you.”

Shiro scoffed, and James tried not to smile.

“Yeah, it could be.” Shiro said with a huff, his cheeks getting blushed by the statement before he snapped at James, “Don’t laugh, I’m your superior.”

“Sorry, Sir” James said trying to bite off his smile and then he caught the indigo eyes staring at him.

“Oh, Keith!”

The Galra jumped in his place, his ears tilting towards the sound of Shiro’s voice and his eyes finding him really fast.

“Shiro” he heard him say, his lips parting in a brief smile before walking to them eagerly, “Shiro…” he repeated standing in front of him, his tail swinging happily.

“Hi, Keith” Shiro said smiling fondly, too honest and lovingly that James felt himself the need to sigh, “How are you?”

“I’m… I…” the called Keith stuttered, his eyes darting to James more than once before answering, “Fine. I’m fine.”

“That’s good” Shiro said, a bit of a frown showing on his face while glancing at James, “Hey, I want you to meet someone.”

Keith turned to the way Shiro was going to, James freezing in place when both were face to face, having to lift his jaw a bit to look at him in the eyes.

“James, this is Keith. He’s Krolia’s son.”

“And the youngest to become part of the Blade” she stated with a proud smile, James not even glancing at her because of how blue Keith’s eyes were, and how soft purple his skin was.

How come James had never seen him? And how was he able to just stop staring at him?

“Keith, this is Official James Griffin, he’s part of the Garrison, like me” Shiro explained briefly, Keith looking back at him for a second and letting James go from his gorgeous eyes, “He’s the youngest person in this rank on Earth.”

“That’s pretty impressive,” he heard Krolia comment, Kolivan nodding to that.

“Well” Shiro laughed it off, “It became easier after I did it myself.”

James didn’t even want to snap at that, not if that meant stop looking into Keith’s eyes. How were they so different from the other Galra eyes? The yellow didn’t even look out of place, and the dark blue was too mesmerizing to begin with.

“Hi” he risked, his voice too croaky making him wince, “S-sorry, I’m-“

“James.”

He felt his lungs collapse, just before his heart stuttered to keep beating. That voice was going to kill him.

“Y-yeah” he sighed, trying to blink but not really knowing how, “Nice to meet you… Keith.”

He saw him flinch, the fur of his skin standing on the ends and his ears turn and twist in many ways. Suddenly, he noted the darker patch of purple coloring his cheeks.

“I-I too” he said lowly, his eyes opening in shock, “I mean, me too. Nice to meet you, too. That…”

James huffed, almost leaving himself without breath.

“I got it” he assured, smiling shyly, “Don’t worry.”

Keith nodded, biting his lower lip and staring at the ground, his mouth curved up at the edges in a smile that James really liked.

“So…” James tried a minute of silence later, not really knowing what to talk about, but he got Keith to look up at him, “Your name isn’t… so Galra-like,” he said dumbly, hitting himself in his head. He was so stupid.

“Oh, yeah” Keith said, the end of his braid between his fidgeting fingers. Wow, he had claws. “My mother wanted to name me Yorak, actually.”

James tried not to show his disgust, but Keith caught his lips crooking.

“Yeah, me too” he confessed, one of his hands fixing some of his hair out of his face, “But my dad didn’t like it, so he suggested Keith.”

James nodded, frowning a bit.

“But that’s-“

“A human name?” Keith doubted smiling at him for a second before his eyes looked down again, “Yeah. My father was a human.”

James’ eyebrows shoot up, finally connecting the dots about how gorgeous and out-of-this-world Keith was without bordering the weird alien kind of weird. And he noted the ‘was’ in his phrase, but he knew that that kind of talk wasn’t good for a first meeting.

“Wow. But” James said eloquently, shaking his head, “You’re… how old are you? You look like my age.”

“Well, I am, I think” Keith responded shrugging, “I’m 19, and yeah, I know Earth is relatively new in getting in touch with new forms of lives in space. But my dad actually met my mother when she crashed on the dessert two decades ago. And no one quite knew about that, especially because my father hid her to protect her.”

James stood there, open-mouthed, too amazed to even answer.

“That…” he managed, getting a giggle from Keith.

God, he was so cute.

“Mom loves to tell me the story over and over” he said a little ashamed but not stopping, “She was charmed by how he wanted so much to take care of her when he was a head shorter that her.”

“Maybe he was charmed by her” James found himself saying, his eyes catching Keith’s a little higher that his.

“Maybe” he said in a whisper, his fingers letting go of his braid.

They stayed silent, just looking at each other’s eyes, and James almost felt like he wanted to stay by his side forever.

And even when the night had ended and both went on their separate ways, James didn’t manage to forget about his smile.

“You know, you…”

“Yeah?”

“Your eyes are pretty.”

James felt all the ground disappearing from his feet at the little smile.

They already have met a few times now. All of them in Alliance Meetings and Official Meetings, but that was the first time they saw each other in something less official. Shiro had invited him, saying that there’ll be a lot of people James had to know, and mentioning that Keith was going to attend it with a know-it-all smile. It was kind of a party, but he still found himself dressed in his uniform while most of the people in the gathering were using casual clothes.

Fortunately, Keith had his uniform on, too.

“I like yours, too” Keith said smiling bashful.

“Thanks” he said rather breathless, “Would you… uh…”

James was never the kind of person that knew how to flirt, just managing to say compliments and make sarcastic comments to make another person laugh. And even when he had his share of fans that always complimented him or flirted with him, he never felt so flattered as he felt when Keith did it with an awkward way.

“Yeah?”

James swallowed.

“Would you like to take a walk?”

Well, that wasn’t what James wanted to say. At all. But the short, eager nod Keith did, his eyes sparkling at his invitation, made him go with it.

“Yeah.”

They got out of the building, and James suddenly remembered that they were on a planet that they really couldn’t walk on freely, most of the surface being just a violet gas.

“I…” he started seeing the orange light that the planet nucleus was, shining through all the violet, “I think I didn’t think it through.”

Keith giggled, shifting his position a bit, getting a bit closer to James.

“Yeah, me neither.”

James huffed, trying to not be nervous by the closeness.

It wasn’t working.

“Have you ever been in Daibazaal?”

The question came out of nowhere, but James thanked it.

“Oh, not really,” he answered shrugging and sighing, “I mean, I’ve seen it when I pass by, but never been there.”

“Would you like to?”

James whiplashed, wincing at the sudden strain of his neck, and Keith seemed concerned about the little crack.

“A-are you-”

“I’d love to,” he responded before Keith could reach for his head, freezing at his high-pitched tone. James coughed and cleared his throat, now super embarrassed, “I’d like to... go.”

Keith’s mouth twitched and finally curved up.

“Whenever you’re free” he said looking down, his fingers playing with the end of his braid, “I mean, if you want to I could, you know, welcome you or, I don’t know. Only if you want to.”

James nodded, fond to the mumbling.

“I would like that, too”

Keith’s smile was one of the best things James had ever seen.

He actually went to Daibazaal a month later, but not with the end he and Keith thought.

“He what?” he had asked in the phone, his blood hammering in his ears and heart, the fear making his fingers and voice shudder, “Why did he do that?!”

Kolivan sighed, and James almost could see him pinching the bridge of his nose.

“He thought it was a good opportunity” he explained shortly, “And it was, but it became risky.”

James almost flew all the way across the universe in his own jet to get to Daibazaal. Fortunately, Shiro was going too, so they went together in an express ship by a teludav.

“He’s alright” Shiro had told him when James couldn’t keep himself still in the trip, “Keith will be alright.”

But James could hear the tone of worry in his voice, the little tremble that he had every time something like this happened to his close ones. And Keith was one of the closest friends they both had.

“Oh, Official Griffin,” Krolia had said when he saw him in the corridor of the hospital, her face fallen in tiredness but a thankful smile brightening her eyes, “Captain Shiro.”

“How are you doing, Krolia?” Shiro had asked in a soft tone, grabbing her elbows in a half hug, “How is he?”

“He’s fine,” she said rolling her eyes, “He’s just so bold sometimes...”

Shiro huffed a laugh, and talked to Krolia for a few minutes about what the doctors had said, James jumping in his spot restless.

“James.”

He glanced at Krolia, finding her smiling.

“He’s next door, you can go and see him.”

James swallowed, ashamed that his anxiety went noticed, but nodded and walked to the door Krolia pointed out, taking a deep breath before knocking.

“Yeah?”

He opened the door, finding Keith laid down in the bed while frowning at the ceiling, and when his eyes found his, he jumped up, seating and turning to James as if he was a ghost.

“J-james,” he said while James closed the door and walked up to him, “W-what are you doing here?”

“I can ask you the same question.”

Keith looked lost, his eyes wandering over him for a minute before they widened, dropping down to the sheets.

“I... That...”

James huffed, desperate.

“You fucking went and crashed on the shield, for god’s sake, Keith!” he yelled throwing his arm to the side, “You could’ve died!”

Keith flinched, his gaze still in the sheets, and his clawed hands gripping them at the point to almost rip them.

“I-I... I know, I just...”

“You what?! You just went and did it!!” James exclaimed, his fists turning white by the force squeezing them tight, “You didn’t even think about the consequences!”

“I did, okay?!” Keith shouted, snapping his head up, “I did! But the mission was important I couldn’t have let them win!”

“WIN WHAT?!” James screamed, hot tears falling from his eyes and burning his skin, “They could have won if you had died!”

“James, you don’t understand...”

“Oh, I don’t? Really?” he asked annoyed, starting to walk side by side in the stupidly small room, “Then illuminate me, Keith. Help me understand your daringly behavior.”

Keith stayed silent, blinking a few times to fight the tears that were already flooding his eyes.

“T-they were...”

“What?” James snapped and Keith growled.

“They wanted to attack Earth, okay?!” he yelled “They wanted to attack your HQ, and kill every single puny human that cared about their planet!! They wanted to kill you!”

James stared at him, confusion swirling his thoughts, and wiped his tears away.

“How do you know that?”

Keith swallowed, looking down again.

“I heard them talk about it in their comms” he answered quietly, his voice trembling, “They said something about it, okay? I didn’t get everything, but they mentioned you, and...”

“And you snapped?”

Keith sighed, nodding and glancing him in the side of his bed, his hands shivering at a thought.

“They said something about going for you first” he murmured, his eyes shattered in tears, “They wanted to kill you and I...”

James gripped his fists, his heart threatening to give up.

“I couldn’t think of a life without you.”

He jumped over him, not caring about the hisses of pain Keith let out, and hugged him tightly, his face hidden in the curve of his neck while he sobbed into his hair.

“J-james...”

“You are so stupid” he whined gripping his back, Keith finally wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry...”

“You fucking should be, idiot.”

Keith huffed a shaky laugh, his fingers going up and down his back, waiting a couple minutes until James’ cries lowered to sniffs and sighs.

“I-I can’t.”

Keith hummed, his hand stopping for a second before burying its fingers in James’ short hair.

“What’s that?”

“I can’t think of a life without you, either.”

Keith squeezed him.

The first time James invited Keith to Earth, James planned the whole thing, going over and over the details to have everything prepared and perfect for it.

But the things didn’t go as planned.

“James.”

He opened his eyes lazily, founding Keith’s alarmed ones staring at him.

“Keith...” he murmured, his mouth dry and pasty by the long sleep, “Hey...”

“How are you doing?” he asked, leaning his chin in his hands propped up in the side of his bed.

“Great” he said with a laugh, staring at Keith too much, “You’re beautiful...”

Keith blushed, and James smiled at that.

“You had a concussion.” Keith said hiding his face behind his hands, “Shiro said you’d say weird things like that.”

“I’m saying the truth” James said looking up to the ceiling and sighing, “You’re not gonna yell at me, hot stuff?”

Keith huffed, standing up and seating in the edge of the bed, James smiling at him widely.

“You’re too into painkillers to remember later.”

James pouted, squinting at him.

“Maybe you should kiss me and see if I remember” he whispered and Keith choked.

“W-what?”

“You should” James continued, blinking a few times, “Really.”

“You mean that?”

“I had a concussion.”

Keith snorted

“Oh, I see.” he said amused, “Maybe I shouldn’t, though.”

“Why?”

“I’d like you to remember our first kiss.”

James thought about it, his sight lost in the ceiling.

“Yeah, I’d like that, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Keith laughed, too softly and sweetly, and James wondered if he would really forget if he kissed Keith right now.

“I’ll come for you later, okay?” Keith said, his fingers reaching James’ in a tender touch, “The doctor said you’ll be fine by tonight.”

“Okay,” James muttered, mesmerized by Keith playful behavior when nervous, “It’s a date.”

Keith huffed.

“A very weird hospital date, if you want.”

“I’d like that.”

When he woke up, he didn’t feel as dizzy and tired as before, just the little pain in the side of his head and the horrible taste of his morning breath.

“Shit.” he cursed, squeezing his eyes and frowning, “Did I really asked him to kiss me?”

“Yeah.”

He startled, snapping his head to the side and finding Keith grinning widely at him.

“Shit.”

Keith giggled, standing up from the chair and closing the distance deliberately, James wishing his mother Earth to swallow him whole.

“Ready to take a walk?” Keith asked his fingers fidgeting with the hem of the sheets, “Or are you going to tell me that it was the concussion talking?”

James let out a groan.

“It was... Shit.”

“You say that a lot.”

“Shut up.”

He helped him get out of the bed, his hands carefully wrapping his sides and maintaining him standing. James didn’t feel that bad to be held like that, but he wasn’t going to complain walking down the hallways with Keith attached to his body, his shoulder serving him right as a pillow.

“Here.” Keith murmured, letting James stand by himself in the hospital terrace, seeing him walk to the railings slowly. “James?”

James sighed, holding onto the railings and looking up to the sky, the stars tinkling and some spaceships leaving light traces in the night.

“You’re gonna yell at me now, hot stuff?” he asked without looking over his shoulder, Keith scoffing, “I did what I had to do, you know.”

“Yeah” Keith agreed not really sounding regretful, “And I know there was no other way to get done the job.”

James nodded, rubbing his eyes for a second and then turning to Keith.

“It was an accident, James, I know” Keith assured walking to him, stopping closer than he ever had before, “And I know you were scared, too.”

James swallowed and nodded again, feeling Keith’s hands find his on his sides and squeeze them.

“I’m not going to yell at you, James” he explained as if it wasn’t already obvious, “You did your job and saved all that people. And the crash was just an accident.”

“But...” James started, looking down to the space between them, “I yelled at you before...”

“Yeah, you did, but I deserved it.” he explained shrugging, “You made your decisions with your head clear, and I did something stupid.”

He huffed, shaking his head and gazing up, his eyes stopping on Keith’s too quickly. Keith gasped softly, one of his hands letting go James and reaching up to hold his face, his claws not being harsh with the sensible skin behind his ear.

“You gonna kiss me, hot stuff?”

“Just if you’ll remember it later.”

James laughed, his shoulders shaking too much as he tried to keep in place, in Keith’s hands.

“I will,” he reassured, risking his free hand to grip the side of his hip, “And if I don’t, you could just kiss me again, you know?”

This time Keith was the one laughing, his giggles rumbling through his chest and into James’ body, his fingers moving steadily over his skin in a charming way.

“I could.”

“Yeah, you could.”

James’ first kiss with Keith was under Earth’s stars.

“Have Keith told you that he wanted to do the Voltron Trial?”

James almost choke, coughing up and having to take a napkin to cover his mouth before the juice came out of his nose.

“You what?” he said snapping at Keith, who was glaring at Shiro on the other side of the table.

“Thank you, Takashi” Keith spat at Shiro, grinning knowingly at both.

“You didn’t tell me about it” James said, his tone skimming betrayal, “I told you I wanted to do the Trial but you didn’t even mention it!”

Keith sighed, biting his meat and chewing thoroughly.

“You’re not going to escape by eating, Kogane.”

He rolled his eyes, and glanced James over his cup of green drink.

“I just...” he started, making a vague move with the hand, “Look, you were going on and on about the Voltron Trial, and how excited you were, so I didn’t feel good saying that I was going to do it, too.”

“You were worried to steal my thunder?” James gasped shocked, “That’s even worse!”

Keith let go of his cup and fork, slumping into his chair.

“I didn’t want to tell you because you’re going for the Red Lion and I’m going for her, too.”

James felt real betrayal piercing his heart.

Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but Keith preferred to hide it before even tell him about it.

“And what?” James asked frowning, “Are you going to step aside?”

Keith bit his lower lip.

“I... thought about it?”

“Oh, no” James exclaimed standing up and pointing him with a finger, “You and I are going to take the Trial, you heard me?”

“But-”

“Keith, you heard me?”

Keith mouthed for a bit, his eyes shooting from James frown and Shiro’s amused expression.

“I-I did, but...”

“No ‘buts’, Keith” he said sitting down again and taking a sip from his juice, sighing after a bit, “I don’t... I don’t want to stop you, okay?”

Keith shrunk in his seat, nodding.

“Even if we go, there’s no warranty that one of us will be the Red Paladin,” he muttered picking at his food in a mindless motion, “There’ll be, like, thousands of people attending.”

“But I didn’t want to take something you deserve.”

“You deserve it, too, Keith.”

Keith glanced him, smiling a bit at his own proud smile.

“Not like you.”

“Maybe.”

“Asshole.”

“Are you mad?”

James sighed slowly, letting his lungs strain for a little before taking a breath.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, James.”

He turned to him, catching his eyes staring at the floor in broken thoughts.

“Why did you keep it to yourself?” he asked looking down, too, and seeing Keith fingers fidgeting, now not even with the braid in his hands because he cut off most of his hair because of the summer heat and the ends of it now were passing his shoulders, “You really thought about quitting?”

Keith stayed silent, his teeth biting his lower lip with too much force, and James clicked his tongue, stepping up to him and reaching to hold his face, his thumb grazing over his mouth for Keith to let go.

“Stop doing that,” James muttered, “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Keith stared at his eyes, his hands twitching a little before sliding to James’ hips and behind his back, stepping ahead to hug him. James didn’t let go of his face.

“I didn’t want to tell you” Keith started, his head tilting a bit into James’ palm, “because I was scared.”

James frowned, his lips pursuing in a thin line.

“Scared?” he whispered, trying not to sound rough, “Scared of what?”

“You’re always in danger, James” Keith stated closing his eyes, “You’re always risking your life and being there to save everyone. You’re always worrying me.”

Now James really frowned.

“And you’re saying this to me, Mr. I-crashed-my-fighter-to-break-down-a-shield-because-bad-people-were-talking-bad-things-about-my-beloved-one?”

“Beloved one?” Keith repeated amusedly, “We weren’t even dating.”

“You did crash because of that, Keith.”

“True, but-“

“No ‘buts’, James said again and leaned a bit while pulling down Keith, their foreheads thumping together, “You’re always in danger, too, Keith. That’s why I wanted to take the Trial in the first place. I wanted to be able to protect you.”

“Well, that is why I wanted to take it, too, James” Keith pouted, wrinkling his nose by trying to look into James’ eyes, “I want to be able to fight for you, I want to be stronger and hid you from everyone that tries to harm you.”

James huffed.

“You take after your father.”

“We’re not talking about that” Keith groaned, his hands roaming James’ back in a comforting and possessive way, “I just…”

James felt him push away, and he let go of his face, Keith looking down to his feet and looking uneasy.

“Look, you don’t have to answer this, okay?” he said suddenly, glancing briefly at his face, “So don’t act all weird if you don’t know what to say, I just want to say it, okay?”

“Are you going to ask me for a date?” James teased him, gaining a glare, “You know we’ve been dating, right?”

“James…”

“I’m just making sure.”

Keith groaned and stepped forward, taking James’ head in his hands and kissing him slowly, his lips barely moving as he tilted his head and opened his mouth in steady motions. James couldn’t help but gasp, reaching for his clawed hands and squeezing them tightly, responding the kiss with the same calm and passion Keith did.

They pulled apart for a bit, sometimes kissing chastely and short or making out for a long minute with their breaths coming short.

“I’m in love with you” Keith confessed a little while after James stole his breath with a specially deep kiss, “And I just… can’t be out there knowing you could be in danger.”

James sighed, his mouth curving in a grin too shy to be mocking.

“I love you, too” he answered tilting his nose to brush it against Keith’s, “So, please, stay by my side for as long as you want to protect me.”

“You know we live in totally different worlds, right?” Keith said frowning, a little smile escaping from his mouth, “Like, in totally different galaxies, you know?”

James laughed, nuzzling his face into Keith’s neck.

“I know” he whispered, “Sorry, that was stupid.”

“It wasn’t” Keith muttered, his fingers tracing forms in his scalp, “I want that, too.”

“Maybe you’re the stupid.”

“Maybe.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, James.”

He didn’t like the feeling of disappointment. It was like ripping the air out of his lungs. It was like wanting to cry a lot but not managing to get out a single tear.

One human kid had called the Green Lion a few months ago, Green answering almost immediately and defending her new pilot from the bullies that pushed her to the ground and tried to hit her and rip all her notebooks.

The kid was Katie Holt, Commander Holt’s younger sister, and she was terribly brilliant, too smart for her own good, and in many ways the rest of the humans would never be.

That was what started the Voltron Trial, the search for the rest of the paladins, many suitors trying to call for the lions that they wanted but any of them responding.

Not until an altean cried for help while in a storm, his lungs being crushed by the force of the waves, almost drowning when the Blue Lion appeared in a rush of light, saving her new paladin from the stormy oceans and causing more controversy in the universe.

Green and Blue were taken, their paladins already knowing each other and eager to know more about the lions, but they won’t respond again until the other three had their pilots.

The Trial was just attending to the gathering Princess Allura was holding, her palace in Altea being full of people trying to call for the lions they wanted, but the lions discarding quickly enough the ones that were just for power or fame. They could even see the lions, seated in the gardens with their shields up, and one by one, they had the opportunity to call for them, first the Yellow, second the Red, and last the Black.

James had separated from Keith in their way to the lions, the line that the people formed causing them to be apart with twenty people in between. And Keith, being in front of him, always looked over his shoulder to find him, smiling at him nervously before looking to the front again, and by the move of his shoulders James could say he was fidgeting with the end of his braid.

They passed the Yellow Lion and stood in front of him for a few seconds just as cordiality, calling for her half-assed and continuing their way to the Red Lion, Keith starting to shoot gazes to the sides while his ears straightened and tilted in every way.

He was nervous, James noted.

“Whoa!”

The people suddenly started to scream and cheer, James looking back and seeing the shield of the Yellow Lion go down in front of a Balmerian, looking as surprised as the rest of the audience clapped and cheered him to step inside the lion.

Until then, James felt real nervousness.

What if he didn’t get to be the Red Paladin? What if neither of them could wake the Red Lion? What if he became the disappointment he didn’t want to be?

“Look!”

James snapped at the Red Lion, her shield going down quickly and she leaning over her new pilot, Keith standing right in front of her with his hand stretched to her.

James saw him smiling, so wide his sharp canines were showing, and he felt really proud of him while all the people cheered for him. But then reality hit him, the disappointment twisting his guts and shortening his breaths.

That was the worse time for Keith to look back at him, the excitement on his face crumbling and falling into despair.

“James...”

He shook his head, forcing a smile to Keith, and tried to open up his way through the crowd, feeling his eyes starting to heat up in a threat of tears.

“James!” he heard Keith called him, his feet still pulling him to the side of the castle, passing in front of the Black Lion, “JAMES!”

A thunderous roar rumbled the ground, James freezing in his spot, and the third shield went down, the Black Lion ignoring the person calling for her and stepping ahead, her shadow covering James in an intimidating stance.

“W-what...?”

Black shrugged her shoulders a few times, as if the posture of being seated for god knows how long have stiffened her muscles, and then she leaned down in front of him, all the people going silent at her actions.

“What...?” James muttered, disbelief coloring his voice and expression, “You want me to...?”

A low growl made him gasp, biting his lip and risking a step to the Black Lion.

‘He’ll be by your side the same way he had always been’ he heard faintly into his head, deafening the cheers of the people claiming the new paladins, ‘He’ll be by your side just as you want him to be.’

He looked at Keith, his indigo eyes open in awestruck, shining beautifully in the light of the Altean suns, and he received a fond smile from him, feeling himself smile.

“You think?” he had spitted before he could stop himself, Keith pulling away from his hands and glaring at him, “You kissed me. Two fucking times. And you think you like me?”

Keith frowned, his face sharpening on the edges.

“I’m sorry?” he apologized poorly, “I thought you agreed with me kissing you.”

James felt his face blush more, stammering with his words.

“It’s not about…!” he tried to complain, the eyes staring at his face not helping at all, “How do you say you think when you did that kind of stuff?!”

Keith winced, his mouth twitching open for a second before closing in a tight line, his face reddening almost as much as how James felt his own.

“I’m new about this” he confessed shrugging, his eyes glued to a point in the wall that James ignored, “I didn’t think this was...”

James waited for him to finish his excuse, containing himself from kissing him again when he saw him bit his lip.

“I’ve been...” he continued, not following the line he drew before, “Since some time I...”

“Could you, please, finish at least one thing at the time?” James asked exasperated, feeling too dizzy to follow up his mumbling.

Keith scoffed.

“I’m sorry, okay?” he said agitated, not sounding as if he was really sorry, “I just noticed these feelings and my head is struggling to follow up!”

He felt his lungs push out all his breath.

“You just...?” he murmured frowning, Keith looking at him, “In this moment?” he asked confused, “Right now?”

Keith nodded, not understanding the breathless tone, and James almost felt himself faint in desperation.

“I’ve been head over heels for you since you even returned, Kogane” he growled holding his face in a rough movement, his shame not wavering at the anger, “Even before you went to your little space trip! And you just noticed?!”

“Since what?” Keith mumbled in disbelief and James clenched his teeth in a groan, pulling him into a harsh kiss that clacked their teeth together and cut his lip a bit.

Keith reciprocated immediately, his hands finding place in his shoulder and nape, his knee opening space between his legs and leaning into him. His lips parted in a sigh and Keith gripped him harder, deepening the kiss in something that was too inexpert for both of them, with no idea of how to follow up the other and being too stubborn to let the other lead the kiss.

Keith shifted and his foot hit slightly James’ injured one, making him jump to get away from the contact and open his mouth in a complain, but Keith just took advantage, exploring the insides of his mouth with his tongue without even knowing what he did. Keith took the lead with that, leaning over James in a way he loved, and his hair was gripped in a fist, pulling him off James kiss-bitten lips with a hiss.

“Stop,” he ordered in a growl to himself, but Keith did just as if it was for him, and he tried to calm down the growing heat inside his abdomen, the one that started in the meeting with a wild imagination and just kept growing bigger and hotter at Keith’s breath mixing up with his.

Keith moaned, deep and scratchy, and James felt it rumble in his chest, his ears melting away at the sound so alike a purr.

“What?” Keith said slurred, his nose and brow wrinkling in impatience.

“W-wait” he murmured looking away, having to take control of himself before he would jump over Keith mindlessly, and he was surprised when Keith actually waited, pulling away a little.

He stared at him, wary about the distance, and he saw him smashing his lower lip in a sign of nervousness, his face blushing to the end of his ears, and James stared at them, totally charmed by the color.

“Keith.”

His eyes, indigos despite the horrible blinding light of the infirmary, found his easily, softening in something James couldn’t help but get dazed.

“You stopped kissing me” he murmured, Keith frowning at the statement.

“You told me to” he said with an obvious tone, looking down to his hand holding away his shoulder, “and pushed me.”

James haven’t noticed that, and he stared at Keith in confusion, slowly comprehending what was wrong with him.

Keith wasn’t like the one on his dreams, always taking the lead and making him take what he had to give, despite how confused, scared or against it James was in his consciousness. The Keith on his dreams wasn’t inexpert, he wasn’t gentle, he didn’t respect what James told him. The real Keith was actually caring.

“Oh,” he sighed, Keith blinking curiously at him.

“Unless that wasn’t what you meant” he murmured slowly, looking down, “Is that one of those things you say but don’t really mean?”

James huffed.

“No, I...” he started in doubt, “It’s just...”

He couldn’t finish talking, too lost in the memory of all the dreams that kept him out of rest every night and how different and better it was from the reality standing in front of him, expectant of his next move.

“I’m... struggling too.” he whispered, huffing out a bitter laugh.

“Okay” Keith said fidgeting, as if he couldn’t keep himself still, “Look, I... I’m sure I like you, okay? I just...”

He bit his lip, and James stared at it too long.

“I just don’t-”

“Do you want to go to my room?” James found himself saying, Keith’s snapping a look at him.

“What?”

James hit himself in the back of his mind.

“I mean- I just- I didn’t meant to- I worded it wrong, I-”

“You want me to?”

James swallowed his words too roughly, choking.

“I...”

Keith shifted, his knees finding place on either side of his leg, and James stammered, his hands immediately grabbing his hips to still him.

“You...?” Keith encouraged him, his fingers reaching his cadet jacket and flicking the zipper.

James’ lungs gave out.

“I want…” he said breathless, his eyes staring down to their tangled legs and the hands on his chest, rubbing down wrinkles that weren’t there, “I’d like…”

Keith’s mouth curved up, a twist in the corner making him look gorgeously nervous, and he leaned down a bit, pursuing his lips and kissing James’ briefly.

“ ‘Kay”

James got up too quickly, almost punching off Keith from his lap, and took his hand rather roughly, pulling him towards the door when he suddenly remembered his injured feet, the pain shooting up his leg, and fell to his knees, Keith tripping behind him.

“Whoa, James!”  

He cursed, gripping his feet, and he heard Keith laugh softly.

“You sure are eager” he heard him comment while going back a few steps and then crouching beside him, “Here.”

Keith took his hand and wrapped his arm over his broad shoulders, hugging his waist to help him get up without standing in his sore foot by helping him lean into his body. James glared at him, looking down to the hand on holding the side of his waist and finding his boot, and the shame just multiplied by ten, his face heating up in embarrassment.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Just shut up.”

Keith laughed again, this time against his temple, and James snuggled a little closer while they got out of the infirmary, walking slowly because of James limp. 

It took too long for them to reach the dorms, especially James’ room, but just when the door closed behind him, James didn’t let go of Keith’s body, lingering all the touches and kisses he would while they followed up to the bed.

And now he woke up to Keith’s messy hair tickling his face, and he felt as dreamy and hazy as when he fell asleep to fall into Keith’s arms.

He shifted a bit, snuggling closer, and Keith squirmed in his arms, turning his face to his cuddled in his shoulder.

“Hey...” Keith whispered, James scrunching his nose to the morning breath.

“Hey” he murmured, wrapping his arms around Keith’s torso and breathing in his hair, “It wasn’t a dream.”

Keith huffed, moving enough to face him completely, his legs tangling with his and his hands roaming his chest.

“You keep saying that.”  

James bit his lip and leaned down to brush their noses together, Keith giggling softly.

“I...” James started, not really knowing what to come up with, “I know, it’s just...”

“You look well-rested" Keith pointed out, his fingers tracing circles in James’ shoulders so sweetly and mindlessly that caused him shivers, “You fell asleep before we even started getting it on, you know.”

James thumped his forehead into his, hissing at the pain of the forgotten bruise there and the laugh against his lips. In his defense, he hadn’t slept that well in weeks.

“Shut up.”

“You keep saying that, too.”

He knew that. Of course. But he couldn’t help it. All those things he thought of doing with Keith, all the kisses, or hugs, or touches. All the sounds he thought of hearing from him. All the actions and reactions Keith had to certain things he did; the low gasp when he buried his fingers through his hair, the tremble of his lips when he grasped his hips, the grasp of his nails in his back when he kissed him for too long.

And hearing his voice whisper his name, say out loud wishes or curses, voicing out all the thoughts that Keith really thought, not the things James wanted to hear and always heard in the haze of his dreams.

And maybe he didn’t have to say it, but he felt deceived if he kept it to himself, thinking that in any moment he would wake up to the darkness of an empty cold room, so he sighed and prepared himself to feel even more ashamed.

“I haven’t been sleeping well because of... dreams” he confessed, feeling Keith’s indigo eyes wander in his face calmly, “Dreams of you... of... you doing stuff to me...”

“Stuff?”

The slight tease in his voice made him clench his teeth.

“Good stuff” he answered shortly, trying to escape from the questions Keith would have but not really getting away from them.

“What kind of good stuff?” Keith asked, his hands starting to caress more deliberate in his skin.

“I...” he licked his lips, “Stuff like kissing me and... touching me?”

He felt Keith’s smile curve up more when he kissed him on the lips, squeezing his eyelids more.

“Kissing you...” Keith repeated, knowing exactly what he was doing, “And touching you...”

James contained a flinch, Keith’s fingers lingering over his skin in soft circles, going down from his shoulders to his chest, and lowering more until they stopped beside his navel, his abdomen tensing up.

“Something like this?” Keith teased, tilting his head a bit and hiding his face in the crook of his neck, leaving little kisses that were just mocking him and his imagination.

“Not... quite.” he answered with a sigh, gripping his head and pushing him to make him keep going, “Keith...”

“Yeah...?” he felt more than heard in his pulse, his breath coming short and his anxiety ripping down his spine to the steady touches in his abdomen.

“Please.”

He heard him swallow and lick his lips, gasping softly and stopping for a second.

“Can I?” he asked the same fucking question, and James groaned, shifting closer, “Can I do it like I do in your dreams?”

James squinted, opening his eyes and looking down to Keith’s black hair, darkening more his sight in the haze.

“No.”

Keith flinched, pushing away and gazing him startled, the shock and hurt clear in his eyes. James almost pinned him down the mattress.

“W-wha- I thought- But you- but-”

“You’re not a dream, Keith” he explained poorly, cutting off his stammering and holding his face carefully, “You’re so much better than that.”

Keith stared at him, looking lost, his pale skin starting to blush between his fingers, and James smiled briefly, kissing him in the mouth.

“I want you to touch me like you want” he murmured against his open lips, and the growl coming from his throat, made him shiver, “Please.”

The world suddenly tilted, and James found himself pinned against his bed, Keith nipping and kissing his neck in desperation. James tried to squirm out of his hold, but his wrists were trapped in Keith’s hands and he was unbelievable strong James couldn’t even move an inch from the sheets. He was groaning and rubbing against his body, his legs finding their way between his and his weight pushing down into his hips, James hitching them up mindlessly in an attempt to make something touch him.

But Keith didn’t let that happen, his own clothed hip getting away every time James tried, and he laughed mockingly when James groaned in frustration.

“What the hell, Kogane?!” he trashed to get free of his hold, and finally broke out of it, snatching Keith’s head and kissing him harshly on the lips.

There was a faint ring away of the bed, both ignoring it while the kiss turned sloppy and deep, their erections finally rubbing into the other despite the thin clothe of their boxers. Keith held his hair and pulled him, his neck straining in an arc, and attacked his skin all over again, this time leaving pulsating bites and love bites in every place he could.

The ring got louder just before stopping completely, and James sighed relieved at that, but the ring started again and Keith pushed away, snarling at the sound.

“What the fuck is that?!” he asked trying to find the annoying source of the noise, and James almost fainted at his larger and sharper teeth, his eyes yellow with a slit dark blue in the middle.

What the fuck is that?

“W-what?” he doubted, his voice trembling at the sight but something more blossoming in the depth of his abdomen.

But when Keith looked at him, the new look was gone.

“James?” he whispered lowly, closing the distance between their faces to look at him, “What’s wrong?”

James didn’t know. Well, he knew, but he didn’t know how to explain it. Was that his imagination or...?

The ring started again, and Keith huffed, getting off James’ body and reaching for his clothes, searching in the pockets until taking out his pad. His face paled at the flashing screen.

“Shit” he cursed before getting up and answering with a swipe of his thumb, “Yeah?”

James couldn’t make out the words from Keith’s pad, but he recognized Shiro’s startled voice, making him seat down in the bed a little concerned.

“W-what? But...” Keith looked at the screen briefly before putting the pad to his ear once again, “I... I’m sorry, I just...”

Keith glanced at James and trailed off, biting his lip before getting up and gather his clothes, his pad being left at a table while the speaker went on.

“I overslept, and the alarm didn’t go off, and...”  

“You overslept?” Shiro’s voice asked in disbelief, and James startled at it, Keith putting up his index finger to his lips to stop him from making a noise, “I went to your room, Keith. You weren’t even there. And Krolia didn’t see you last night.”

Keith bit his lower lips, his concern drawing together his eyebrows. But he pushed up James instead of answering, pushing his clothes into his arms to get him to get dressed.

“Keith? Are you there?”

“I am” he said over his shoulder, putting on his shirt while James buckled his pants, “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I just- I'm going, okay? Don’t worry, I’m in my way and-”

“Where were you last night?”

Shiro’s question froze them up, James tripping with his injured foot while putting on his boots and letting out a hiss of pain, Keith snatching his pad and turning off the speaker.

“I just had a walk, okay?” he said glancing worriedly at James and asking silently if he was okay, “A very long walk, and I just fell asleep and- You know what? I’ll tell you after the meeting, yeah?”

James tied his boots and stood up, getting dust off his uniform and glanced at Keith, catching him frowning at him.

“Shiro?”

There was no immediate response, and James felt his stomach twist, but Shiro sighed and answered, telling other things to Keith while both finished dressing.

“Yeah, see you.”

Keith hung up, sighing loudly, and James huffed, looking to his mirror briefly to straighten his hair.

“We have to go.” Keith said going for the door, but James holding his hand stopped him in the middle of the room, stilling when James’ hands fixed up the collar of his uniform.

“There,” he said letting his touch linger a bit on Keith’s chest and looking at it nervously, “Let’s go.”

Keith huffed and pulled him into a short kiss.  

He found him more distracted and unfocused after that, answering vaguely the questions he would normally answer with confidence and professionalism. Sometimes he stuttered, and asked what was the question again, avoiding carefully his eyesight from the other side of the room and then staring at him when he thought he didn’t know about it.

Maybe it wasn’t something, maybe everything was wrong.

“Actually, I always knew”

He saw him seated against Black’s paw and automatically stopped walking, Red beside him making a shadow over him. What was James doing there?

“I always knew he would accomplish so much.”

He saw him get a little more comfortable in Black’s paw, looking up to her, and Keith noticed then that he was talking to her.

Kind of.

Keith wondered if she was okay with it.

“I always tried to convince myself that he wouldn’t get anywhere because of his temperament” James continued making Keith frown, “And I thought that everything ended when he got expelled because of it.”

Yeah, James was talking about Keith. And with Black, of all people.

He had to contain a scoff, rolling his eyes to the back, but then he remembered the first words he heard him say, the annoyance disappearing just like that.

“But I hoped that he would come back” he heard him comment, almost making him jump, “, that he would be someone important, that he would achieve that much.”

He felt his own heart starting to beat too fast, upsetting him to no end, and he couldn’t keep listening to all that, finally bringing himself to interrupt.

“But I didn’t think I would be so...”

“What are you doing?”

He saw him jump off Black’s paw, almost falling down and putting an expression of shock that he would like to see again.

Wait, what?

“Kei- Kogane.”

He frowned, feeling out of place, was he about to call him by his given name?

“What are you doing, Griffin?” he asked walking up to him, saying his last name just because he thought it would be better like that. If James wanted to be on a first name basis with him, he wouldn’t have corrected himself.

He didn’t answer, not that he even tried –he actually tried, Keith thought, but just stuttered and then didn’t try anymore.  

The conversation went a little weird after that, Keith asking about his newly acquired free time and a comment he didn’t actually meat to be mean. James said he seemed worried about him, and Keith noticed that he was worried indeed, but instead of just saying it as a socially normal person would, Keith said something about his behavior, as if that could answer that he was really worried.

But, well, James didn’t take it well, saying he shouldn’t know just because he’d been back to Earth for a few months. And he was right and that angered Keith in a really weird way.

Of course he didn’t know him that much, of course years had pass and they didn’t see each other. But...

“But I know you since before Garrison,” he found himself saying as an attempt to excuse it, “and there are many things that time doesn’t change.”

That was, actually, quite true. Because James was still very careful with how he wore his uniform, crinkle less and extremely tidy, or how he stood straight in front of a superior, firm and strong, or how he wrinkled his nose when he tried not to sneeze and just did it when he couldn’t contain it anymore, apologizing because he kind of interrupted even when it was something so trivial as a matter of physiology.

Many things didn’t change, like how he was always the most capable and loyal cadet in the academy, like how his training went flawless if Keith didn’t interfere in them, like how precise and detailed he was when making orders.  

And all those things were changing in the last weeks, with James’ uniform being a little messed up, with his shoulders a bit slouched, with his mistakes in meetings and miscalculation in his trainings.

He was out of character.

“I hadn’t had much sleep” he lied. Or that’s what Keith was thinking, because there was something more he didn’t want to tell. He knew that, “And messing up with the MFE fighter testing was a consequence. That’s all.”

He didn’t had time to think carefully of how to respond to that. And Shiro coming into the hangar didn’t help, starting a friendly conversation with James in which James himself didn’t participate much.

‘...-s you.’

He looked at Black, startled.

‘It’s because of you, Keith.’

Keith was concerned.

“James?!”

He was already watching when he saw James slam his head to the wall, making Rizavi jump and Kinkade stop his feet. He saw him staring at him and Shiro, just briefly before the abrupt move.  

And he saw him storm out from the meeting room with too much desperation, hearing Rizavi ask Kinkade what was wrong with him. He thought that she would use her mocking voice because she was such a tease, but there was only concern, just like the one Keith was feeling clawing the inside of his chest.

“Is James alright?” he heard Shiro ask, maybe to another colleague, and Keith faced him rather quickly, making him startle, “Keith?”

“Shiro, I’m...” he started, but he didn’t know what he was going to say in the first place. He glanced the open door, catching Kinkade’s gaze over them for a moment before going, and he looked at Shiro again, “I think I...”

“You’re worried” Shiro completed, a knowing smile in his mouth, “I know. You’ve been kind of distracted because of it.”

Keith frowned.

“What?”

Shiro giggled, actually giggled at him.

“Go and talk to him, okay?” he said patting his shoulder, “You kind of need it, too.”

Keith let his gaze drop to the floor, still confused, but nodded and walked to the door.

“And, Keith.”

He stopped in the doorway, looking at Shiro still in the table, taking some papers from one desk.

“Keep me updated.”

Keith didn’t understand, swallowing nervously at the rare darkness painting his ever-shining eyes, but still nodded, getting out of the room and trying to follow James’ steps.

It actually took him some minutes to find him. Especially since he went to the MFE fighters’ hangar and stopped midway remembering James was still suspended. He thought the best option was to look for him at his room, but he froze when he heard his voice in the corridor in his way to his room, from the infirmary, his tone agitated and angry while cursing colorfully in a way he had never, ever, heard him.

Keith was really concerned.

“Shit...!”

He peeped through the doorway, just in time to see him kick fiercely a piece of furniture, and he thought the metal would bend over his strength. James thought the same, apparently, both surprised and James grunting when his foot bounced off the metal with a painful thump and James had to grip his foot to avoid step with it, leaping awkwardly to the hospital bed and let himself drop in the neatly sheets, his mouth still spouting all kind of swears and curses easily.

That’s what out of character totally meant.

“What the fuck...?!”

“Are you okay?”

He heard him gasp, letting go of his foot and gazing up to him in the doorway, and he saw him wince when his heel touched the floor too harshly.

“Do I seem okay?” he snarled, lifting his injured feet again to put it on his knee while tried to untie his boot, his face distorting in pain as his hands pulled carelessly at the laces, “Fuck”

Keith scoffed and walked to him, seeing him freeze for half a second when he pulled a chair in front of him and took a seat to help him take off his boot.

“What are you...?” he started pushing his hands, but Keith pushed his instead, glaring up at him from the low chair, “What?”

“I’m helping” he answered reaching to the tangled laces, “Isn’t that obvious?”

James snorted, almost angry.

“I can do it alone” he said moving to push his hands away, but Keith grasped his wrists, this time wrinkling his nose with a warning growl.

“Keep still, Griffin.”

He ignored his pant, taking advantage that his hands stayed motionless to finish untying his boot and taking it off, continuing with his sock and finally being able to see his toes, starting to get a little red and dark.

“They don’t seem broken” he commented staring at them, even when he didn’t have the knowledge to assure it. They didn’t seem broken so they shouldn’t be, “We should bandage them, with some ointment, maybe.”

There was no answer, and he risked a glance to his face, finding him staring at the wall with a frown that didn’t look angry. Keith looked a little upper and found a little bruise blossoming in his forehead, his ears buzzing at the memory of the noise his head did against the wall.

He sighed and got up, going to the piece of furniture that James and him underestimated, catching James’ attention when he opened and started searching.

“What are you doing?” he asked, the annoyed tone almost lost in something softer that he couldn’t quite recall.

“I said we have to bandage them” he responded taking some thin bandages and ointment, glancing briefly the painkillers.

“We have to?” James repeated with disbelief, and Keith rolled his eyes, “I don’t need your help, Kogane.”

“I’m not offering it” he said, but didn’t hand the things he got from the drawer and seated down to prepare the bandage.

“And you’re going to force me take it?” James asked squinting at him, and Keith ignored him for a moment, “Kogane.”

“James” he murmured meeting his eyes and seeing him tense up. Keith thought it was because of his fingers in his foot, “, just let me help you.”

He didn’t answer, and Keith took it as a yes, opening the ointment and putting some in the damaged toes with caution, surprised that James didn’t complain, only when he touched to hard or pulled to tight the bandage, only because of the discomfort.

“All set.” he announced cutting the rest of the bandage and placed the end into the fold.

James kept silent, pushing Keith to glance at his face and find his eyes fixated in the quite messy bandages. Keith felt weird.

“I saw some painkillers here,” Keith continued just to fill the silence, getting up to take it, “For your feet and your forehead, and-

“Why?”

Keith stopped before even stepping out of the way, stilling and looking over James seated in front of him.

“What?” Keith doubted, going to start a thorough explanation of how painkillers were going to help him kill down the pain. Keith was terrifyingly nervous.

“Why are you helping me?” James asked, his eyes still in his foot before getting it to the ground as if it wasn’t injured from the very beginning, “I...”

He bit his tongue, wincing a little, but Keith knew it wasn’t because of his toes. Keith looked down too, weirdly wanting to know what words James was trying to keep to himself.

“I’m worried” he answered honestly, scoffing, “You were right back then. I was worried about you, but I know I don’t have the right to say it, so I just tried to-”

He trailed off, his eyes finally meeting James’ blue-gray eyes, open in clear surprise, his expression so open Keith felt really out of place. There was something else in his irises, a sparkle, a little hope, and Keith never thought he would like more of that for him.

From that distance, James seated down in the bed and looking up to Keith standing in front of him, their knees touching from time to time, Keith could see the dark eye bags that hanged from under his eyelashes, he could see the little movement his eyes did as he stared at every little detail of Keith’s face looking for something, he could see his lips hesitate in say something at that. Keith found himself not even looking at his face anymore, just staring at his mouth, leaning without thinking as he wondered briefly if James was aware of how handsome he was, his breath hitching sweetly against Keith’s before he kissed him with a short touch.

He blinked, staring again at those lips, and suddenly felt aware of what he just did, stepping back quickly and knocking off the chair behind him. But the sound of it clattering in the floor didn’t bother him, his eyes glued to James’ expression of shock. His cheeks were colored in red, just as they were when they were fighting, and his eyes were more white than blue, opening and closing just like his mouth in total confusion.

Shit.

“I-I...” he tried, not even finding in his head the reason why he would kiss as he pleased. He just kissed James Griffin. He kissed him without even asking. He kissed him and his heart couldn’t stop thumping deafeningly against his ribs. “I-I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

His hand was caught in his attempt to run for the door, feeling too shocked with his own actions, too confused with his own feelings. Did he just think James was handsome before kissing him?

“W-wait!”

Keith didn’t move, having to swallow down his personal problems for a minute to face James, prepared to be shouted at, or be punched to dead.  

But he found James looking just as lost as he was, as if he didn’t know why he stopped him in the first place, mouthing wordlessly while his face started to get redder.

“Y-you...” he heard him stutter, his eyes meeting his for a second, “W-why...?”

Keith didn’t know. Or yeah, he certainly knew, but his head was about to collapse. How ridiculous was having a crush for god knows how many years and suddenly noticing about all of it after kissing him without permission?

And even when his conscience kept telling him that it was really wrong to do that, James’ reaction made his heart scream from the bottom of his lungs that it didn’t matter. What really mattered was-

“Can I do it again?”

James jumped in his seat, the blush reaching his ears.

“What?”

Keith swallowed.

“Can I?” he asked again, stepping a little into his space and seeing him startle, “I want... I want to kiss you.”

James’ mouth crooked with a frown, a brief smile escaping from him.

“You want... why?” he said shaking his head, but that didn’t seem like the answer, “If this is a stupid attempt to delusion me, Kogane, I swear to god I’ll fucking-”

“Delusion you?”

James’ fists tightened in his lap.

“Why would I...?” he doubted, frowning deeply, “Why would I delusion you?”

James stayed quiet, starting to bit his lower lip before looking up at Keith.

There was no need to answer, every single thing that happened those last weeks came to his mind like a strong wave of the ocean, drowning him and hitting him against what James was talking about. Against what James was feeling.

He reached his face slowly, letting him get away if he wanted, but his fingers touched his cheek, and he caressed him a bit to hold his head gently by his jaw. James trembled a little, his hands grasping at the sheets, and Keith leaned into his space, holding his breath when James sighed and glanced down to his lips.

He licked them in anticipation, anxiety pushing him to get over it already, but he kept still, shivering at the breath touching his wet lips.

“Can I?” he murmured again, James still eyeing him wryly, “James, I’m not going to do it if you don’t-”

“Shut up.”

He closed his eyes at the contact, firmer than a caress and softer that a whisper. He contained his gasp that wanted to open his mouth to the other, but James was a step ahead, opening his lips and tilting his head a bit while letting go a sigh into his mouth, inviting him to do the same, feeling James’ hands hug his waist while he gripped briefly at his hair.

They pushed away slowly, the kiss so steady and gentle that could’ve lasted a few seconds or many minutes.  

For Keith, it wasn’t enough even if they lasted hours making out, and seeing James lick his own lips appreciatively he knew it wasn’t enough for him either.

“Keith...” he breathed, frowning while staring at his eyes, “I... you don’t know how many times I dreamed about this.”

Keith snorted.

“What?”

“Shut up” James ordered, hiding his face in Keith’s chest as if he said it without thinking, “I...”

He bit his tongue to stop himself from laughing, more bashful about the confession than the confession itself.

“James” he called him, burying his fingers through his soft hair, and made him lift his face to him, “I think I...”

Keith stopped, taking in his gorgeous expression before finishing.

“For how long?” James asks, voice betraying him. The young man in front of him just shrugs it off. Keith has always got under his skin, like the bite of a weird-desert animal. The ones that are not poisonous enough to kill you, but leave you with numb members and a frequent headache. (That’s how he described it when he was eight and it kind of stuck with him.) They merely look at each other. James knows by heart the two of them are too hot-headed to have this conversation right now, but he can’t help it. He needs to know, if he wants to prevent his heart from a painful ache, he’s gotta know.

“Are you going to stop me?” It’s what Keith finally says. James blinks, he is not quite sure what the other man means by that.

“Not really,” replies him, carefully testing the waters. Keith hums appreciatively. “I am not the kind of person who chains people.”

Keith has come into his life like a shooting star. And he doesn’t mean it in a figurative kind of speech. He is the wish James constantly asked for, but only just now realizes he’s finally got. And Keith is voluntarily leaving! He always leaves, but as the years pass the absence of the young man with violet eyes grows longer. Those last four years are the proof of that statement. James fears this time is going to be the last time. He is not going to admit it ever, but he’s fearful of what would happen if he confesses what his heart hides. Will Keith loathe him? Will he just disappear on him like before?

(“My mom is Galra,” Keith said to him one day. “She fell from Space as she tried to protect the Blue Lion, and then met my father.”

James' heart squeezes at the memory of the intimate talk under the stars. That had been the opening of it all.)

Keith is a shooting star. Beautiful, and bright, and unreachable. He belongs in Space, while James is solely meant to admire from afar. Like a small child looking through their window and dreaming with their eyes wide open, wishing to touch the ethereal light.

Keith coughs. James looks back at the familiar path they have just walked. They are already outside the small Tom Thumb their little town has to offer. The Black Paladin is not looking at him; his eyes are fixed on the blue signboard. His cosmic-wolf is shifting its head from his owner to James. There’s a question behind those violet eyes of his, and James just knows.

“Why do we always come here?” He finally asks. “The little free time we have, we come here.” He turns to face him, James gulps.

“It is stupid,” he blurts. He doesn’t want to reveal that. Keith should already know—although, knowing him, he’s sure Keith already forgot.

“Is it because of the one-dollar pies?” Teases Keith, James growls. The bastard only recalls what is convenient for him.

“First grade,” starts James. It is now or never. “The first day—well, it was night … the point is when I first saw you. "We both were here. You and your pops, and I was with mawmaw.” Silence follows his words. Was letting go of air always this hard to do?

“I thought,” Keith seems elsewhere like he’s trying to seek the appropriate words to say. “I thought it had to do with that kiss you stole from me in the cereal aisle.” James’ face goes red. That’d been 6 years ago.

James may be a strict person, but he is also a romantic at heart. He sighs tiredly. “I like coming back to the place I met you. It gives me a feeling of—" his words are cut off by Keith’s lips. He is not fighting, he was a bit surprised at first, but who is he to deny a taste he’s longed ardently for years now?

They kiss hard and deep. Soon enough their bodies are aching, and so are their hearts. (James hopes it’s not his heart alone.) He can savor the warmth of Keith's mouth. He feels how strong his tongue is as he fights his for dominance. Keith's hands progressively abandon his face, making a path down his neck until they reach his chest. James is unsure if his heart escaped a beat, but it is enough encouragement for him to place his own hands around the Black paladin's waist.

They are too close, closer than they've been in four years. So many sensations are exploding inside of him. He wishes to open his eyes, just to admire Keith's face as he kisses him silly, but he feels extremely good to do so. Relying on instinct is not bad in some situations, like this one. Even when his instincts are telling him that Keith's brand-new fang-like teeth are dangerous.

They break the kiss almost at the same time. Both men are panting, and trying to regain their breath. Their faces are flushed, and the heat their bodies produced is enough to keep them company for a few more minutes.

“We can’t go back to the Garrison,” Keith says with a small smirk. James pales. “It is against the rules.”

“Screw the rules!” He breathes out heavily. There must be something in his face because the paladin of Voltron laughs wholeheartedly at that.

__________

James wakes up slowly, the bed suddenly is too big for him. It is kind of cold too. He stirs, his body feeling light and relaxed. He feels at ease, in peace would be the exact words. However, his bed is still half empty. He looks around, the only thing he can find is Keith’s wolf—he still needs one, preferably a female, if he’s to choose. He tries not to freak out at its presence, for he doesn’t want the poor animal to be scared after what he had done to his owner.

That train of thought makes him remember he’s still pretty much undressed. It is his room, but there’s a cosmos wolf staring at him from one of the corners.

Then, the door of the private bathroom slides open, revealing a … faintly dressed Keith Kogane. He’s seen the armor of the Paladin before, but it’s the first time James sees him wearing only the black bodysuit. Why is it so tight?

(He knows why he just thinks it is so unfair.)

“Kolivan sends you this,” Keith tosses him a similar suit. “You’re going to need it,” Keith smirks. James’ eyes go from the bodysuit to Keith to the rare wolf in the room. The leader of Voltron approaches the bed, he feels the mattress sink where the other’s knee is placed.

"This is not my MFE’s uniform, nor the Garris—" Keith kisses him. It is gentle, chaste. Almost surreal.

“I’m taking you out,” announces Keith. “Hurry, because we have roughly two quintents.”

James groans, can’t he go back to the normal time measurement? He has no idea what that means.

“Where are we going?” His left brow is raised. This better be crucial, more than exploiting their insufficient time together.

“Let’s go out into Space,” Keith says as he walks toward the desk James has in his room. It is that moment he notices two black helmets on top of his books. “I’m taking you to space before I have to leave.” James’ heart clenches at that, his breath is caught in his throat, and he cannot manage to swallow.

“Forever?”

Keith jerks his head.

It was not a thing he had planned at all. It just … sort of happened. Keith was stupid, and James was so infatuated with the emo boy he’s known almost all his life.

For years now, he thought that Keith hated him, ever before the orphan incident. It wasn’t an incident; James had been a jerk, and he admitted it. He even apologized later on … in his own way, but he did.

Even though Keith never actually hated him, his walls were way too up for him to reach, and James didn’t know how to climb at the time. Nowadays, he still had no idea how to climb, but he had sufficiently learned enough patience to find other ways up.

There’s always been this rivalry going on, and he treasured it more than anything else. It was what kept them in the same wavelength.

That made James thought that he and Keith were the perfect complement, like better halves. While Keith Kogane was a natural, James worked hard. Keith was reckless, and James was composed. James followed rules, Keith followed his instincts. Where Keith missed a family; James had to live with the expectations of his.

There were stolen glances and hidden smirks after simulations. Unorthodox motivations were left whenever any of them didn’t manage an excellent grade.

James Griffin could alphabetize all of their pushes throughout their Garrison days. The list was long and it would take him a few days, but he could do it.

Then, this Lance boy came in; and self-proclaimed himself Keith’s rival, and James was not having it.

James snorted when he next spotted the Cuban, it was so easy to set him off if he was being honest. And it was easier for James to get closer to Keith to reel the boy. He might have let them all know at the Garrison his sentiments while making his point clear to McClain.

In all honesty, to throw little McClain under the train in front of the cafeteria was not one of his most brilliant moments. It was something only a bully would do. But he had had enough!

“If you manage to be cargo pilot that’d be your most exceptional achievement,” James said sourly. His book was clenched against his torso. “To proclaim yourself Keith’s rival? Ha,” he arched a brow incredulously. “Keith only deserves the best, and that is not you.”

Thinking back to that time, James wasn’t nice, and his actual self would like to punch his past-self hard in the face. No one accused him of nothing, he didn’t break any rules, so he was fine to let his mouth run out.

After all, Keith deserved the best, and James was the best. The only person fitted to be his rival was him.

That was his first slip. (And it didn’t end that day, but continued even when, said boy decided to badmouth the best pilot the Garrison has had in so long. No one called Keith Kogane a drop out or other unpleasant things. If that lower range pilot thought he was Keith’s rival, then he should learn rivals are supposed to respect each other.)

If the violet eyes of Keith followed him curiously for a week after that, he didn’t care enough to acknowledge them.

Second slip.

It happened the day Keith was expelled from the Garrison.

He had run all the way to Keith’s room, he was out of breath and wanted answers. There must be something they could do to avoid it.

He found Keith packing his his few possessions, there was a knife in his hand. James’ heart was drumming in his dull ears, he knew Keith, right? He wouldn’t…? He saw with relief how the boy exhaled and set it aside, next to the rest of his belongings.

The exact words he said he could not remember, he felt terribly embarrassed at the moment that his brain decided to shut part of that memory. He had practically declared to him, that he recalled. And the jerk merely accepted it as a friend-foe thing.

Keith had a bitter smirk on his face as he told him they’d have another chance to race in the future. (Those last words of him, he knew they weren’t meant for him.)

'I should be happy, finally, I'm Galaxy Garrison's number one pilot and outstanding student.' He thought bitterly. His family was going to be ecstatic but he still felt empty. Without Keith there, who would provide him with the motivation to go on? Who was going to push and pull at his side?

Keith.

Where would Keith go? He had no one outside the walls of the Garrison. He was too old to go back to the home. Who would look out for him in dire moments? Where was Shiro, his protector? Shiro, it all happened because of Shiro and the undying loyalty Keith had on him.

James cried uncontrollably that raw night because not only Keith Kogane was the most oblivious and emotional constipated person he knew, but also because he was no one when compared Takashi Shirogane. And of course, Keith would go out looking for the best.

James not only felt heartbroken and abandoned, but he felt inferior. All their lives, James Griffin and Keith Kogane had been equals, but that day, Keith’s controversial departure made James feel like he was nothing but another cadet at the Garrison.

Third slip.

The day Sam Holt started the MFE’s program. James felt he was doing that for Keith, his family, and Earth.

When the information about Keith (and the others’) whereabouts came to his ears to hear. James breathed again, for he was going to fight side by side with him, and a new path was going to be forged for them.

But of course, that was Keith Fucking Kogane he was thinking about. He wasn’t sure of what Space magic happened to him, but he was different. Not only physically. James could sense a new … something in him. He couldn’t explain it; he just knew he wanted the Leader of Voltron to look his way, which he did.

That didn’t end up well, for James just walked away. What was he supposed to say after so many years?

“My problem is,” James confronted. “I don’t want to see our only hope for saving Earth get hurt.” He smirked a distinctive Keith kind of smirk. “That’s why we’re coming with you.”

For all one knows it could've been a hallucination, or maybe Keith’s visible expression softened at that. Truth is he was too scared to find out. Especially when he realized, a few days later—while he was piloting with Keith in order to get the Lions— that he may have declared it while he locked eyes with Keith.

He didn’t want the paladins of Voltron to get hurt; that was genuine. Deep down he undoubtedly knew he had meant that specifically, if not only, for Keith Kogane.

He also realized just how well he knew the leader of Voltron. Because for what other reason would he be waiting for him —and Hunk—in the hangar with Veronica, if he didn’t already know Keith’s tendency to defy curfew.

The trip to retrieve the Lions wasn’t awkward at first, now it felt like a torturous journey.

The good thing was they weren’t a pair to talk much. And even if they were, the situation was too tense for them to want to engage in any kind of small talk.

Fourth slip.

The invasion came to an end. Earth won.

James had no time to celebrate their victory, for he knew it had been a victory for them, but Voltron kept on fighting. Keith and the others were still out there fighting, and their destiny depended on them.

And once the battle of Earth was done for good … James and the rest froze as they watched Voltron fall. Atlas could do nothing to avoid it, the Lions crashed hard in different places.

For the first time in his life, James intentionally broke formation. He went on as fast as the thrusters allowed him to, he needed to instantly reach the Black Lion. His throat was closed and he was sweating. His stomach told him to turn around and go back to the base, but his hands kept the course to Keith.

He arrived late to where the Black Lion was. The engines were off, and a massive crater cradle the head of Voltron. James was late, he didn’t know if Keith was still alive or … he shook those thoughts out of his head. Shiro was there already—of course, he’d be. James remained in standby.

The Paladins of Voltron were alive, all of them. Ones more stable than the others, but alive was a good thing.

James liked going to Keith’s hospital room every once in a while—

Three or four times a day. Rizavi had counted them—but the leader hadn’t woken up yet. Soon enough, wormholes started to open and the destroyed streets of Earth were occupied by aliens, members of the Coalition and more.

A tall, physically strong and ... purple woman was inside of Keith’s room. He looked at her and swore that if he weren’t gay, he’d be crushing on her hard. She was seated on the bed next to the sleeping paladin.

Was she a member of the Blade of Marmora? That group Keith joined a long time ago and held the secret to his past.

Realization hit him hard. They might have won a battle, but he knew they’ll part ways once again for their foe was still roaming the Galaxy. Either he left with Voltron of the Blade; Keith was slipping through his fingers.

James choked on a high pitched sob, thing that made the woman turn to look at him. Her yellow eyes, soft while staring at the sleeping man in bed, turned sharp. “Are you one of my son’s friends?” She asked him, tone wary. James lost his words; he nodded, nonetheless.

His affirmative answer made her relax in the same way Keith always did. Stiff shoulders became slightly slouched, sharp eyes softened a little, and her face turned a few degrees like a curious cat would.

She was definitely Keith’s mom, and she was an alien.

James left the hospital room baffled, it had been rude, he didn’t even introduce himself to the woman nor he got her name. He should apologize later, at that moment James needed space to breathe.

James Griffin didn’t show up again near his rival’s room. He heard the news; he had woken up, and he was glad for that. He still visited the Hospital. He just didn’t approach that specific corridor.

The feeling of uneasiness was still nagging at him. He’d made up his mind, though. Wherever Voltron headed, he was going with them.

He was an MFE’s pilot, therefore, he was part of the Coalition. The news about Keith’s alien heritage wasn’t that hard to swallow, he had always thought there was something special about the leader of the paladins. Keith was a genius, he was not going to deny that, but … it was just, so many things made sense now.

The Galaxy Garrison offered an elaborate ceremony and a small banquet after the full recovery of their saviors. That was precisely the moment James instantly saw Keith again.

He was standing tall with his mom and the other alien that never left their side. Captain Shirogane was with them, and James just kept walking soberly toward them, toward Keith Kogane. He had so much to say, and if he didn’t say it at that moment, he feared he wouldn’t be able to do so ever again.

But, the moment he was face to face with the Black paladin, he said nothing.

Something in his mind screamed ‘Fuck it!’ so he grabbed Keith by the collar of his Garrison uniform and pulled him in for a kiss.

He kissed Keith. At the Garrison Ceremony, in front of everybody … in front of Captain Shirogane, in front of his alien mother … he kissed Keith to all the Galaxy to see.

And Holy shit! Keith’s mom was an alien! Not only that, but she was part of the race that tried to conquer them. And she was insanely tall and strong.

James gulped, he was no match for that.

He promptly broke the kiss, he didn’t think all of that through. He was in deep shit, now that he thought about that. And Keith wasn’t saying a single word, the bastard only had his head tilted like a cat.

“Mom,” Keith said softly. He never spoke that soft, not even to Shiro. “This is James,” Keith’s lips drew the most cunning and insufferable smirk he’s seen in his life.

“Mhmm,” was all the alien … Keith’s mom said. She was eyeing him. So did the other one, the furry one with the braid.

It was then it occurred to him that the way Keith introduced him sounded as if he had already talked about him. James Griffin was royally screwed.

The taller alien walked fearlessly toward him. They were face to face, it was more like face to mighty chest, that man was huge. James gulped once again, he looked over at Keith, who was still smirking.

“Next time,” started the man, his voice was deep and authoritarian. “Bring a high-quality blade.”

“Kolivan,” said gently Keith’s mom. “This is Earth. They don’t give blades for courting.” She let out a small laugh, “I should know, Keith’s father freaked out when I tried giving him one.”

“It is a sacred tradition, Krolia,” the furry alien responded. Keith was still laughing.

James was so confused, he didn’t know what was happening. Technically he properly understood the conversation; he was not stupid. But the background of it all was confusing. He looked wonderingly at Keith for proper answers.

“In Galra, when you are courting someone you should bring a blade with you.” Keith saved his poor brain for going into overdrive. James blinked a few times. “I don’t really need it. This is the boldest thing you’ve done so far."

He choked on his own saliva. “You knew?”

“You weren’t exactly subtle,” Keith answered. “I was waiting for the day you’d say it properly.”

“Say what?” James growled.

“That you liked me,” Keith strategically placed his muscled arm around James’ neck, it was Keith’s turn to pull him in for a fervent kiss.

Wolf-whistles were heard here and there.

They carefully broke the kiss the moment they realized there were more people around them.

“How was that a proper confession?” James couldn’t help the nervous laugh escaping his lips. He settled his evident embarrassment aside.

“I’m half Galra and an active member of the Blade of Marmora,” Keith said as if it would explain everything. “Even the smallest victory is worth it.”