Jul 30, 2023
Tommy: are we friends?
Techno: you’re an ally
Tommy: yeah I am but what do gay people have to do with it?
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Tommy: are we friends?
Techno: you’re an ally
Tommy: yeah I am but what do gay people have to do with it?
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Wilbur, age 12: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Philza*
Techno, age 12: Oh yeah, I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, please be good.’*
Whose (not) Adopted?
Philza: I hate to tell you but one of you is adopted.
Techno, Wilbur, Tommy, and Y/N:
Y/N: Only one?
Wilbur: Techno, Y/N and I don't even look like you, we don't look like each other!
Y/N: The only one who looks like you is Tommy! And even I question if he is your actual son.
Tommy: I am adopted!
Technoblade: I'm surrounded by idiots...
Wilbur: She was poetry, but he couldn’t read.
Ranboo: His name was Jared, he’s nineteen.
Tubbo: When his parents built a very strange machine.
Tommy: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen.
Techno: Ay, macarena.
Philza: Horrible job, everyone.
After a solid ten minutes of wrangling an unreasonably fast spider back into its little spot in the cupboard, Phil collapses into a chair by the table, feeling as if he’s aged another year. Wilbur sits with him, slumping into his seat as if moments away from being sent into another stress-induced coma.
Tommy moves on very quickly from the whole ordeal.
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Techno: I was raised as an only child
Techno: it really pissed off my brothers
Phil, hearing Wilbur’s explanation for Tommy: This is kidnapping.
Wilbur: That’s a little melodramatic.
Tommy, ten years old: Yeah, he just told me to get in the car and now I live with him.
Wilbur: Well when you put it like that I may have been a little rash-
Tommy: I want to finally have my discs back after getting them brutally stolen from me over and over
Wilbur: I want to blow up a nation and kill everybody
Techno: I want to topple governments and kill people
Philza: ... I want you all to go to therapy