For the rejected and the monsters. Obligatory MCYT SCP story for Sleepy Bois Inc + Tubbo. A special interest that's consumed my brain utterly for over 4 years now. CookieNomNomCrunch on AO3. They/them đ
This is an au that has consumed me. This blog will just be a terrible mess of whatever Iâm stuck on for the week, likely with little explanation and heavy spoilers. Anyway, the general vibe + anomalous properties are below cut:
Philza: The Zilant. Is the immortal concept of fire and fury, which pretends to be a dragon, which pretends to be a human. Maintains his personhood by attaching himself to mortals he calls his âCollectedâ. Currently: Tommy, Wilbur, The Blade, and Tubbo. Additionally, Philza is very intent on keeping any promise he makes and was kept in the Foundation exclusively because theyâd captured his Collected and made a deal. Gives great dad advice, except when the advice is âlet me murder them for you <3â
Tommy: The Instigator. Has a blood red liquid on his hands that grows when heâs scared. When people touch it, they become aggressive to anyone but Tommy. At low TI-Red levels this leads to things like bickering, but it escalates to physical violence and brutality. When TI-Red levels consume him and he thinks heâs going to die, he summons The Blade. Lived as a normal human and met Wil, Phil, and The Blade after a summoning at 15; visited the homeless guys occasionally till the Foundation captured at 16. Abandonment issues, highly touch starved, used as a Thaumiel. Collected Tubbo.
The Blade: The Blood God. Is a massive boar behemoth with voices in his head. When attacked (or if thereâs an orphan), becomes The Blood God, who will bend the universe to ensure he wins. The Blade only comes back when the challenge has been completed. Grew up as a monster in the woods, but pulled himself up out of the voices, figured out what was him and what was The Blood God, and established his own personhood. Somehow has a college degree, met Phil and Wil during a gap year. Loves gardening and murdering people for Tommy. Also managed to come out of the Foundation the least traumatized, iconic.Â
Wilbur: Soot. [tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block] His legs magically rearrange so he is the tallest humanoid in the room. Oh also the void in the side of his face that eldritch abominations claw their way out of. Was basically a feral starving child till ~14 when Philza forcefully adopted him. A chronic insomniac with a heart of gold and a tongue of silver, held together despite the inherent contradictions between being a supreme survivalist and a drama hoe. Memory issues because he represses basically everything.Â
Tubbo: The Pollinator. Is a honeycomb skin suit for approximately 400,000 bees. Uses they/them we/us pronouns, because they are a Hive mind/system containing at least three humans: a Little, a Foundation employee, and a lawyer/farmer. Tubbo grew up mostly normal, albeit in secret. The most recently captured by the Foundation, and a staunch pacifist. This causes them to be at odds with Philza, who did a few murderous rampages too many, and The Blade, for the reason above and also because he destroyed their legs. But they stick around because theyâre attached to Tommy.Â
Basic vibes are found family, hurt/comfort, questions of morality, and trauma at the hands of the Foundation and each other. Things get messy, but itâs all bound together with love at the end of the day.
All Nom commissions are prompt gifts for donations to charitable causes, such as the environment, social justice rights, or victims of wars. I will not cover topics of romance, sex, or write about George, Dream, or Wilbur.
Writing: Base 5$ gets a minimum of 300 words. 10$ 1,000 word minimum, 20$ 3,000. I also have no self-control, and there is no additional payment if the prompt is amazing and I break the world limit.
Drawing: Base 5$ gets a drawing in full color. 'Animatics' start at 40$ for a verse, and the price increases for color.
Project Guide
The tag 'crumbs to tide you over' is how I organize ficlets, wip sippets, and fic announcements. Personal tag is something to nom on. Wilbur tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block tags, and my PR response to that is here.
Ao3 fics:
Fault. The titular SBI SCP AU. SBI trapped in the Foundation. Lots of angst, large exploration of trauma, dehumanization, moral philosophies, and messed up found family. Tags are fault au, fault memes pog, sbi scp au, fault analysis, etc. This is a whole series and has many associated works. Long Fic.
>Also Where, then, do your loyalties lie? for AU where human Phil works for the Foundation and tries to free kid SCP Tommy. Complete.
Mandatory Family Reunion. Techno kidnapped by criminal dark SBI and handles it very poorly AU. Heavy dark em duo. Explores different types of abuse, motivations, delusions, and how love causes harm. Tag is Mandatory Family Reunion, sometimes mfr. Long Fic.
The Lambs Wolves Wear (Ficlet is here; starts at the Reveal and currently goes further than the ao3) Fully dark SBI where Philza's children were replaced by monsters. Demon "Tommy", changeling "Wilbur", and ghost army "Technoblade" are violent and traumatized, their tensely conflicting infiltration motives jeopardizing the lives of everyone in a twenty mile radius. As they experience love for the first time, will the wolves in sheeps clothing be tamed? Tw for abuse and horror. Long Fic.
Way more below, those are just my main projects ^-^
Where Hearts Roost. Fairy tale AU, Tommy and Wilbur break into witch Philza's cottage and get adopted. Sweet, hurt/comfort, themes of learning to trust. Complete.
The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On. Wherein Tommy is sacrificed to The Blood God, except he isn't an orphan so Techno awkwardly adopts him and is awful at parenting. Very funny and fluffy with some dark humor mixed in. Complete.
To Return the Favor of Raising Me. Zombie apocalypse where kid Techno struggles to lead Tommy, Niki, Tubbo, and Ranboo in killing survivors to feed their brains to zombie Philza. Techno develops insane beef with Kristin, who tries to rescue the kids to her survivor compound. Heavy angst, MCD (duh Phil is a zombie), lots of traumatized children. Complete, Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Shred Your Wings to Make You Ours. Wing fic! Predator bird Philza shreds prey!Technoâs wings and shoves him in a hole to eat later. Only problem? Philza is a sleep deprived new dad, and accidentally brings Techno back to the nest. Now the only way Techno can survive is to pretend to be a predator, too. A literal Dead Bird Do Not Eat fic- as the whole premise is cannibalism birds.
Always at His Side, Never in His Sight. OSMP + Philzaâs FlowerFall. Queer royalty AU with lots of bedrock bros angst. Tommy is struggling with insecurities, aromanticism, and growing gender dysphoria, and elects to cope with invisibility potions even as side effects grow worse. Adopted crown prince Techno dodges assassins, wrangles structural inaccessibility, and accepts his role as a martyr for Tommy. Angst/comfort with fun Origin social world building. Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Of Feathers and Fawning. (or ficlet here) Where Tommy is an avian and during exile his abuser takes advantage of his instincts to manipulate him. Angst heavy, deals with suffering and recovering from abuse. Complete.
Rise up and make this city glow. Young mage Niki gets conscripted invited to learn magic! Her mentor, Technoblade, had far more reservations. Hard not to, after being broken down through endless crushed rebellions. Is Niki the spark that can finally fan the flames of revolution? Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Lord, what fools these mortals be! Fantasy AU, Winter Court Fae Queen Kristin and King Philza try to kidnap SBI. Wacky hijinks with dark portions. Some themes of bodily autonomy, subtle manipulations, absurdity of the fae. One chapter left.
Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home. Mythology AU where Techno is a Harvest/Revolt god that is killed every Winter Persephone style, Wilbur a Festival/Dissent god. Heavy tragedy. Themes of self change, coping with grief. Abandoned with outline.
One shots:
Where do Babies Come From? Modern AU where Philza picks up homeless kids. My first fic everyone say awww.
Worth far more than your weight in gold. Monster Hunter Techno goes after Philza, who is a raven-dragon-kenku, for taking Tommy. Phil can only talk through redacting others sentences. Monster/culture worldbuilding. Hurt/comfort, distrustful bonding. Themes of learning to value yourself, discrimination, communication.
116 East Normal Street. Human Techno bonding with his neighborhood, who are all not-so-secretly from very different genres such as 'magical girl' or 'noir detective' or 'invading alien'. Most light-hearted thing I've ever written tbh. Themes about suburban isolation but it's buried in there.
A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself. Fault AU where they are abstracted into short horror stories.
Pigmalian.exe. Technoblade is a war robot and Philza is the scientist who made him. As Philza nurtures Techno to sentience, the robot struggles with the meaning of agency and friendship. Angst and Bonding.
Vlogger and the Vampire. Parasocial? Paranormal? Why not both? Vampire emerald duo when Philza nabs a new angry fledgeling. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Ficlets:
Reverse âThe Lambs Wolves Wearâ. Lambs!AU where Philza is the one replaced by a monster (angel) and his children have to navigate it.
Sandduo makes âThe Lambs Wolves Wearâ even more tragic. âWilburâ shows up after Philza already killed âTechnoâ and âTommyâ. Pure angst ensues. Complete.
Waxing and Waning. Goddess of Death Kristin tricks Philza into becoming an icarus figure, only, sun god Tommy has never been embraced before. Complete.
Civilian. Philza finds a team of child superheroes and begins to get worried about their safety. Time to take it into his own hands! Complete.
Reverse Mafia Kidnapping? Tommy kidnaps Crime Boss!Philza. Chaos ensues. Complete.
Paragon of Justice (or whatever). Superhero Techno takes the fall for Ranboo to get tossed in jail the same week villain Wilbur gets caught, too. When breaking out of jail, villain sbi decide to take a plus one! Complete.
A Study in Brood Parasites. Dark!Kristin is a brood parasite bird that plants her chick, Techno, into Philzaâs family. Only, she becomes enraptured watching Philza care for his family. Surely he wonât mind if another brood parasite infiltrates his familyâŚ. Complete.
Under-The-Bed. Tommy has a brand new monster under his bed. And maybe, if heâs nice enough, Techno will protect him from the monsters over-the-bed. Complete.
Murky Depths. Tiny Merman Techno gets rescued from polluted waters by a giant Kristin and put into a fish tank to recover. He is very Andy about this. Complete.
Do you need help drowning, darling? Vampire Hunter!Techno gets only partially turned, and is in deep denial about it as his health gets worse and worse. Luckily (?) for him, vampire Philza just decided to infiltrate the hunter compound.
Your Heart in My Hands. Fledgeling Tommy isnât integrating with the coven well :( he keeps trying to escape. But now that Philza has found the reason he was running, all he has to do is lock Tommy in a room with Tubbo until heâs turnedâŚor consumed. Almost complete.
The Blood God and His Fledgeling. Hyper Depressed ancient vampire!Techno finds the reincarnation of Theseus, the man who refused to turn thousands of years ago. While he wonât turn Tommy without consentâŚ.heâs not above forcing the issue. Honestly kinda abandoned.
Beast and Boy. Techno is a giant monster thatâs been terrorizing the town for years, but when gravely wounded limps off to die. Tommy, however, just got a new puppy!!! And is very determined his parents wonât find out about the puppy under the house. Complete.
Bunnybladeâs 5-step Plan to World Dominance. Lab bunny Techno escapes, only to fall in the TOTALLY NEFARIOUS clutches of Philza. BUT WORRY NOT! The feeble might of a random civilian is not enough to Bunnybladeâs terrible schemes! âŚbut might postpone them for a carrot break. And some petting. Comedy.
Shoot to Kill (I know you will). Cyber punk. Death lottery reaper!Phil tries to chase down Techno, but is thwarted by the principles of anarchy. Complete.
Hibernation. au where techno doesnât really hibernate for weeks at a time; he just thinks he does because his âfriendsâ drug him for long periods of time to help him learn how to 'lower his guard'. Complete.
The Hero of Their Dreams. Abused!Tommy finds escapism through his dreams, where he is the beloved hero of a fantasy world. And the people in his dreams will do anything to ensure Tommy never wakes up to the horrors of their reality. 5/6.
In Case of Malunion, Carve Through Bone. Collab with Sohr and Apple. Archeologist!Philza is a modern reincarnation of an ancient trio deity who unwittingly revives Technoblade and Kristin. Through a road trip of museum heists, Techno and Kristin start gathering up the shattered pieces of Phil's deitihood. Piece by piece they replace the mortal. Complete.
I've Heard It Both Ways (from The Voices) Psyche Au where Techno claims he has visions from The Blood God which helps him solve murder cases. Uh huh. That's what he's going with. Tommy (Lassiter) is having none of it. But after Skeppy (Mr Yang) captures them both, Tommy might not like the truth he finds. Complete.
The Evertrue Pull of Home. Birds use magnetic fields to navigate. Dark Kristin decides to blast his head with magnets so Philza has no compass home. Bedrock bros try to rescue him.
Can you love me, if I pretend? Human Techno finds refuge in an origins community by pretending to be a bunnyborn. It goes. Badly.
AMESMP
Context, I'm on an origins server playing a scientist phantom named Cessation.
Failure Analysis Log 3 is a fic told through a series of scientific contents regarding Wickburn Asper working on the Ancient City portal, trying to get into the afterlife. Tragedy, yuri (?!), horror.
Ame Smp intro, Seft (Cessation's phantom kid), Pod-cast posts 1, 2, battles, i'm like super behind explaining anything man gooood luck.
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You want to get into the Dream SMP, but oh no! Thereâs eight months of extensive and event-filled history to catch up on, and dozens of highlight videos to watch that donât always include everything, and pages upon pages of detailed Wiki articlesâŚwhere do you start!?
Well, Iâve created this to summarize the events of Dream SMP Season One into a single post as a sort of ânarrative timeline.â
Iâve also included the dates of the events to the best of my ability, so that everything is in (mostly) chronological order.
Iâd highly recommend also checking out the Wiki for more detailed descriptions of the big events if youâre interested.Â
Happy one-month anniversary of the Grand Finale!
Enjoy!
â
Note: Some dates, but not all, are taken from VOD upload dates, and Tommyâs VODs are usually uploaded a day later than initial broadcast, so they may be slightly inaccurate. Dates marked with * are the dates the VOD was uploaded, in cases where I am unsure of the original broadcast date.
â
The Early Days
April 25th:Â
The SMP started out as an ordinary survival server, and was often referred to as âthe survival worldâ on early Dream Team streams. The first eight members to join the SMP were: Dream, George, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Ponk, Alyssa, Callahan and Sam, though Sam took a hiatus until the events of the Election Arc. The Community House was the first thing to be built in the center of a lake.Â
It was in this period that Beckerson and Mars were named from donos (the various named knicknacks in the Community House are also from donos), Dream tamed a white horse named Spirit, and Sam tamed Fran. There were also several other various pets like dogs and foxes that were tamed by the members.
Some notable events from this period include: the construction of the Court House (and subsequently Sapnap and Georgeâs murder trials there), Dream building the wooden path, George texting Dreamâs mother, Sapnapâs Famous Storytime Stream (in which Spirit died due to mobs), and the burning of Ponkâs first Lemon Tree due to a conflict with George.
There was also a running joke that Callahan and Alyssa were dating (they arenât)
Tommyâs Arrival
Tommy joins July 4th. Tubbo arrives shortly after, with Fundy a day after Tubbo.
The day of Tommyâs arrival:
Tommy joins the SMP. His first day, George and Dream get him to stand on a crafting table and he subsequently murders George and takes from the Community House chests. Dream and George put Tommy on trial in the Court House. After a brief manhunt, Tommy is banished 2,500 blocks away (the first of three exiles) in the snow and is ordered to stay there. He fails to comply and is briefly banned before Dream lets him back on. He chooses to settle on a hill next to Ponkâs Lemon Tree.
The Disc War: Start of the Disc Saga
Taking place from July 9th* - July 11th*, though there were various events/conflicts relating to the discs that happened before and after this time.
After listening to two discs, Cat and Mellohi, with Tubbo on a bench while watching the sunset (VOD: July 8th*), Tommy considers the two discs to be his most prized possessions.Â
This event is considered the first major war of the server, and the Disc Saga would continue to have developments throughout the rest of Season One.
The events of the first Disc War began due to another conflict between Sapnap, Ponk and Alyssa. Punz and Tubbo were also involved. Tommy ended up siding with Sapnap, and much vandalism and fighting happened before Dream logged on with the intention to stop it.Â
Tommy and Sapnap murder Dream, and Dream steals Tommyâs discs in return, threatening to burn them unless Tommy returns his gear. Tommy, Tubbo and Sapnap end up combining forces to murder Dream and take back the discs, which Tommy hides under his base. Dream spends time off stream digging up the entirety of Tommyâs land in search of them.Â
The rest of the Disc War proceeds with Tommy and Tubbo working repeatedly to take back the discs from Dream. It only ends when Tommy crafts an Ender Chest to put the discs in.
This was also around the time that Fundyâs Socializing Club was built, which later led to a brief conflict taking place there.Â
(It was also during this time in the middle of the Disc War that Wilbur joined a call with Tommy and asked Dream out on a date to Pizza Hut, with Tommy speaking in game chat as Wilburâs wingman. Dream says yes, George gets jealous on Twitter, and the infamous Vlog plot starts. It would go on from July to October.)
Schlatt and Wilbur
July 12th: During a short conflict between Tommy and Tubbo over the death of Tubboâs pet bee, Tommy burns down Tubboâs house. Wilbur logs onto the server to act as Tommyâs lawyer.Â
On July 17th, Schlatt gets whitelisted on the server without Dreamâs knowledge and Tommy spends a day with his idol. The SMPLive Cuck Shed is recreated in Dream SMP, and Tommy listens to the disc Blocks with Schlatt. People trend #kickschlatt on Twitter. Both Wilbur and Schlatt log off the server âpermanently,â Wilbur by choice and Schlatt by banning (as Dream didnât know who he was). Tommy gains ownership of Wilburâs ball house.
Also worth mentioning is Eret joining July 19th.
The Lâmanburg War for Independence (aka âRevolutionâ)
This was a relatively short but very consequential arc, taking place from July 24th to August 2nd, a little over a week in total. It is the second major war of the server, and the first to be faction-based.
July 24th: Wilbur joins the server again.
He decides to start an empire with Tommy. He builds the Camarvan (aka âhto dog vanâ) in a remote part of the woods and recruits Tommy to help create artificial scarcity in the serverâs drug market by stealing everyoneâs blaze rods. This isnât taken too kindly by other members, especially Sapnap. One thing leads to another and they decide to mark out a tiny square in the woods to declare as an independent country. Tubbo joins them, and he and Tommy sing âHallelujahâ to a tilled patch of dirt (this melody would later become the Lâmanburg National Anthem). They also recruit Eret to help build. They decide on a name: Lâmanburg, and also don revolutionary skins.
Dream comes over, displeased by this, and declares war. His side consists of Dream, George, Sapnap and Punz, though the Lâmanburgians attempted to convince George to their side due to his Britishness.Â
Eret builds the walls, Fundy joins the revolution after logging in within the walls and being very confused, Wilbur claims Fundy as his son. Tommy constructs a fight club beneath his house and, after poorly speaking Dutch to Fundy, goes down the path placing signs in various languages saying âthe green bastard shall die!â as propaganda to Dreamâs viewers of various nationalities.
July 31st:Â
Dream and Sapnap log on during one of Dreamâs streams, inspect the area, and go through a multi-step plan to demoralize the Lâmanburgians: they burn down all the trees around their land, lavacast a huge cobblestone wall just outside, construct obsidian TNT cannons around the walls, and fire several TNT blasts into the country, destroying part of the hotdog vanâs roof. George joins the call, gets filled in on whatâs been happening, and assists in the chaos. Eret, the only Lâmanburgian online, is helpless and can only meekly protest in game chat. As a final message, Dream and Sapnap set fire to Tubboâs house (the second time) and Dream gives his famous âwhite flagsâ ultimatum.Â
August 1st:
The ultimatumâs war date was pushed back a day due to Twitter drama. The final evening before war, Dream, after doing his serious stream, logs onto the server and blows up Tommyâs land with TNT, exploding part of the beloved Cuck Shed. Wilbur, in VC, tells Tommy to return the favor to Dream, but instead, Tommy chooses not to fight fire with fire. Impressed, Wilbur makes Tommy his right hand man. Eret joins Dreamâs side around this time.
August 2nd:
The day of war comes. Dreamâs side goes to Tubboâs jungle base to kill Tubbo repeatedly. Thereâs a brief conflict at the Power Tower. Wilbur logs on - the Lâmanburg side is grossly underprepared. They meet at the Embassy and exchange fire with the Dream SMP members. After Dream seems to retreat, Eret suggests they return to Lâmanburg, saying he has a âsecret weapon:â Eret has been grinding for items.
He leads them down a long tunnel into a blackstone âFinal Control Room.â The chests are empty, and Tommy pushes a button in the middle of the room, wondering what its function is. The redstone doors slide open and Dreamâs men ambush and kill all of them, leaving them with nothing.
After speaking with Wilbur, who refuses surrender, Dream returns to Lâmanburg and lights a piece of TNT at the entrance, triggering tons of TNT that had been laid beneath the ground beforehand to ignite. Tommy leads everyone into a final bunker. As one last chance at independence, Tommy challenges Dream to a bow duel for Mellohi. George and Wilbur have a short exchange in which they reflect on their Pizza Hut Date, wondering how they could end up like this, with their men fighting each other on opposite sides. Wilbur tells George he should have been on their side as a British person. Eret too.
Tommy and Dream take ten paces and fire at each other on the Prime Path.
Tommy loses the duel.
Instead of giving up just Mellohi, though, Tommy asks Dream if he could give up Cat as well in return for âtechnical independence.â Dream agrees. Wilbur declares independence again, putting himself as President, Tommy as Vice President, and Tubbo as Secretary of State. Eret, meanwhile, is declared king of the Dream SMP.Â
YOOOOOOOOOOOOâŚyou know the rest.
Jack Manifold is whitelisted. Itâs a silver-lining ending.
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@altadoodler said married for tax and legal benefits philza and techno and so we come back to 3am shitpost hours
Also really enjoying the influx of platonic marriages on my dash recently
To clarify again: all of this is platonic and for the schadenfreude of it all, if I get asks on it I will pin a new post in the morning, if you need anything tagged, let me know
Edit: Absolutely Do Not Interact If You Ship This Romantically. I made this because I thought the premise was funny and I like seeing them as platonic lifelong companions.
I think because of the many, many metaphors made between wolves, sheep, and sheep dogs within The Lambs Wolves Wear centering the monsters cloaked in the forms of children, the title makes for a blatant connection to the literal disguises and the symbolism within the story. But on another level, within the Sermon on the Mount (where the phrase is largely attributed to) the concept of a wolf in sheep's clothing is specifically applied to the idea of a false prophet. And when Philza constantly speaks in parables and metaphors, when he serves as a moral guide bestowing wisdom and kindness upon the "children," and it is all under an ulterior motive attempting to mold the "children" into something Philza can control and exploit- I think he makes for a very solid false prophet.
Which, pretty good for a title I made up in like two minutes!
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that one time ranboo died and dropped red and green dye named â ranbooâs bloodâ and âranbooâs other bloodâ, implies that he has two seperate circulatory systems and therefore two hearts
For the âoxygenated vs deoxygenatedâ suggestion, since oxygen is âstickyâ (blood cells tend to have 1-2/4 oxygens since getting the first in on is so hard), the hemoglobin changing colors along a gradientâŚhonestly might produce brown blood lmaooo
another possibility: I know (in at least chickens, and ranboo is a coward so it counts) there can be different subunits of hemoglobin expressed at different life stages. Usually embryonic vs adult but uh. Anyway maybe itâs cause Ranboo is a teen their circulatory system is in a transition period for their species.
Philza: I brought you Tubbo :] as a treat :] :]
Tommy: YAY!
Tommy: wait what do you mean âas a treatâ
Philza: :]
tommy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN âAS A TREATâ
something about Phil never being able to escape the birdcage, always ending up trapped in a house while someone he loves is threatened, something about that being used to trap him, something about the free bird being caught by the seeds it needs to live
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