For the rejected and the monsters. Obligatory MCYT SCP story for Sleepy Bois Inc + Tubbo. A special interest that's consumed my brain utterly for over 4 years now. CookieNomNomCrunch on AO3. They/them đ
This is an au that has consumed me. This blog will just be a terrible mess of whatever Iâm stuck on for the week, likely with little explanation and heavy spoilers. Anyway, the general vibe + anomalous properties are below cut:
Philza: The Zilant. Is the immortal concept of fire and fury, which pretends to be a dragon, which pretends to be a human. Maintains his personhood by attaching himself to mortals he calls his âCollectedâ. Currently: Tommy, Wilbur, The Blade, and Tubbo. Additionally, Philza is very intent on keeping any promise he makes and was kept in the Foundation exclusively because theyâd captured his Collected and made a deal. Gives great dad advice, except when the advice is âlet me murder them for you <3â
Tommy: The Instigator. Has a blood red liquid on his hands that grows when heâs scared. When people touch it, they become aggressive to anyone but Tommy. At low TI-Red levels this leads to things like bickering, but it escalates to physical violence and brutality. When TI-Red levels consume him and he thinks heâs going to die, he summons The Blade. Lived as a normal human and met Wil, Phil, and The Blade after a summoning at 15; visited the homeless guys occasionally till the Foundation captured at 16. Abandonment issues, highly touch starved, used as a Thaumiel. Collected Tubbo.
The Blade: The Blood God. Is a massive boar behemoth with voices in his head. When attacked (or if thereâs an orphan), becomes The Blood God, who will bend the universe to ensure he wins. The Blade only comes back when the challenge has been completed. Grew up as a monster in the woods, but pulled himself up out of the voices, figured out what was him and what was The Blood God, and established his own personhood. Somehow has a college degree, met Phil and Wil during a gap year. Loves gardening and murdering people for Tommy. Also managed to come out of the Foundation the least traumatized, iconic.Â
Wilbur: Soot. [tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block] His legs magically rearrange so he is the tallest humanoid in the room. Oh also the void in the side of his face that eldritch abominations claw their way out of. Was basically a feral starving child till ~14 when Philza forcefully adopted him. A chronic insomniac with a heart of gold and a tongue of silver, held together despite the inherent contradictions between being a supreme survivalist and a drama hoe. Memory issues because he represses basically everything.Â
Tubbo: The Pollinator. Is a honeycomb skin suit for approximately 400,000 bees. Uses they/them we/us pronouns, because they are a Hive mind/system containing at least three humans: a Little, a Foundation employee, and a lawyer/farmer. Tubbo grew up mostly normal, albeit in secret. The most recently captured by the Foundation, and a staunch pacifist. This causes them to be at odds with Philza, who did a few murderous rampages too many, and The Blade, for the reason above and also because he destroyed their legs. But they stick around because theyâre attached to Tommy.Â
Basic vibes are found family, hurt/comfort, questions of morality, and trauma at the hands of the Foundation and each other. Things get messy, but itâs all bound together with love at the end of the day.
All Nom commissions are prompt gifts for donations to charitable causes, such as the environment, social justice rights, or victims of wars. I will not cover topics of romance, sex, or write about George, Dream, or Wilbur.
Writing: Base 5$ gets a minimum of 300 words. 10$ 1,000 word minimum, 20$ 3,000. I also have no self-control, and there is no additional payment if the prompt is amazing and I break the world limit.
Drawing: Base 5$ gets a drawing in full color. 'Animatics' start at 40$ for a verse, and the price increases for color.
Project Guide
The tag 'crumbs to tide you over' is how I organize ficlets, wip sippets, and fic announcements. Personal tag is something to nom on. Wilbur tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block tags, and my PR response to that is here.
Ao3 fics:
Fault. The titular SBI SCP AU. SBI trapped in the Foundation. Lots of angst, large exploration of trauma, dehumanization, moral philosophies, and messed up found family. Tags are fault au, fault memes pog, sbi scp au, fault analysis, etc. This is a whole series and has many associated works. Long Fic.
>Also Where, then, do your loyalties lie? for AU where human Phil works for the Foundation and tries to free kid SCP Tommy. Complete.
Mandatory Family Reunion. Techno kidnapped by criminal dark SBI and handles it very poorly AU. Heavy dark em duo. Explores different types of abuse, motivations, delusions, and how love causes harm. Tag is Mandatory Family Reunion, sometimes mfr. Long Fic.
The Lambs Wolves Wear (Ficlet is here; starts at the Reveal and currently goes further than the ao3) Fully dark SBI where Philza's children were replaced by monsters. Demon "Tommy", changeling "Wilbur", and ghost army "Technoblade" are violent and traumatized, their tensely conflicting infiltration motives jeopardizing the lives of everyone in a twenty mile radius. As they experience love for the first time, will the wolves in sheeps clothing be tamed? Tw for abuse and horror. Long Fic.
Way more below, those are just my main projects ^-^
Where Hearts Roost. Fairy tale AU, Tommy and Wilbur break into witch Philza's cottage and get adopted. Sweet, hurt/comfort, themes of learning to trust. Complete.
The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On. Wherein Tommy is sacrificed to The Blood God, except he isn't an orphan so Techno awkwardly adopts him and is awful at parenting. Very funny and fluffy with some dark humor mixed in. Complete.
To Return the Favor of Raising Me. Zombie apocalypse where kid Techno struggles to lead Tommy, Niki, Tubbo, and Ranboo in killing survivors to feed their brains to zombie Philza. Techno develops insane beef with Kristin, who tries to rescue the kids to her survivor compound. Heavy angst, MCD (duh Phil is a zombie), lots of traumatized children. Complete, Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Shred Your Wings to Make You Ours. Wing fic! Predator bird Philza shreds prey!Technoâs wings and shoves him in a hole to eat later. Only problem? Philza is a sleep deprived new dad, and accidentally brings Techno back to the nest. Now the only way Techno can survive is to pretend to be a predator, too. A literal Dead Bird Do Not Eat fic- as the whole premise is cannibalism birds.
Always at His Side, Never in His Sight. OSMP + Philzaâs FlowerFall. Queer royalty AU with lots of bedrock bros angst. Tommy is struggling with insecurities, aromanticism, and growing gender dysphoria, and elects to cope with invisibility potions even as side effects grow worse. Adopted crown prince Techno dodges assassins, wrangles structural inaccessibility, and accepts his role as a martyr for Tommy. Angst/comfort with fun Origin social world building. Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Of Feathers and Fawning. (or ficlet here) Where Tommy is an avian and during exile his abuser takes advantage of his instincts to manipulate him. Angst heavy, deals with suffering and recovering from abuse. Complete.
Rise up and make this city glow. Young mage Niki gets conscripted invited to learn magic! Her mentor, Technoblade, had far more reservations. Hard not to, after being broken down through endless crushed rebellions. Is Niki the spark that can finally fan the flames of revolution? Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Lord, what fools these mortals be! Fantasy AU, Winter Court Fae Queen Kristin and King Philza try to kidnap SBI. Wacky hijinks with dark portions. Some themes of bodily autonomy, subtle manipulations, absurdity of the fae. One chapter left.
Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home. Mythology AU where Techno is a Harvest/Revolt god that is killed every Winter Persephone style, Wilbur a Festival/Dissent god. Heavy tragedy. Themes of self change, coping with grief. Abandoned with outline.
One shots:
Where do Babies Come From? Modern AU where Philza picks up homeless kids. My first fic everyone say awww.
Worth far more than your weight in gold. Monster Hunter Techno goes after Philza, who is a raven-dragon-kenku, for taking Tommy. Phil can only talk through redacting others sentences. Monster/culture worldbuilding. Hurt/comfort, distrustful bonding. Themes of learning to value yourself, discrimination, communication.
116 East Normal Street. Human Techno bonding with his neighborhood, who are all not-so-secretly from very different genres such as 'magical girl' or 'noir detective' or 'invading alien'. Most light-hearted thing I've ever written tbh. Themes about suburban isolation but it's buried in there.
A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself. Fault AU where they are abstracted into short horror stories.
Pigmalian.exe. Technoblade is a war robot and Philza is the scientist who made him. As Philza nurtures Techno to sentience, the robot struggles with the meaning of agency and friendship. Angst and Bonding.
Vlogger and the Vampire. Parasocial? Paranormal? Why not both? Vampire emerald duo when Philza nabs a new angry fledgeling. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Ficlets:
Reverse âThe Lambs Wolves Wearâ. Lambs!AU where Philza is the one replaced by a monster (angel) and his children have to navigate it.
Sandduo makes âThe Lambs Wolves Wearâ even more tragic. âWilburâ shows up after Philza already killed âTechnoâ and âTommyâ. Pure angst ensues. Complete.
Waxing and Waning. Goddess of Death Kristin tricks Philza into becoming an icarus figure, only, sun god Tommy has never been embraced before. Complete.
Civilian. Philza finds a team of child superheroes and begins to get worried about their safety. Time to take it into his own hands! Complete.
Reverse Mafia Kidnapping? Tommy kidnaps Crime Boss!Philza. Chaos ensues. Complete.
Paragon of Justice (or whatever). Superhero Techno takes the fall for Ranboo to get tossed in jail the same week villain Wilbur gets caught, too. When breaking out of jail, villain sbi decide to take a plus one! Complete.
A Study in Brood Parasites. Dark!Kristin is a brood parasite bird that plants her chick, Techno, into Philzaâs family. Only, she becomes enraptured watching Philza care for his family. Surely he wonât mind if another brood parasite infiltrates his familyâŚ. Complete.
Under-The-Bed. Tommy has a brand new monster under his bed. And maybe, if heâs nice enough, Techno will protect him from the monsters over-the-bed. Complete.
Murky Depths. Tiny Merman Techno gets rescued from polluted waters by a giant Kristin and put into a fish tank to recover. He is very Andy about this. Complete.
Do you need help drowning, darling? Vampire Hunter!Techno gets only partially turned, and is in deep denial about it as his health gets worse and worse. Luckily (?) for him, vampire Philza just decided to infiltrate the hunter compound.
Your Heart in My Hands. Fledgeling Tommy isnât integrating with the coven well :( he keeps trying to escape. But now that Philza has found the reason he was running, all he has to do is lock Tommy in a room with Tubbo until heâs turnedâŚor consumed. Almost complete.
The Blood God and His Fledgeling. Hyper Depressed ancient vampire!Techno finds the reincarnation of Theseus, the man who refused to turn thousands of years ago. While he wonât turn Tommy without consentâŚ.heâs not above forcing the issue. Honestly kinda abandoned.
Beast and Boy. Techno is a giant monster thatâs been terrorizing the town for years, but when gravely wounded limps off to die. Tommy, however, just got a new puppy!!! And is very determined his parents wonât find out about the puppy under the house. Complete.
Bunnybladeâs 5-step Plan to World Dominance. Lab bunny Techno escapes, only to fall in the TOTALLY NEFARIOUS clutches of Philza. BUT WORRY NOT! The feeble might of a random civilian is not enough to Bunnybladeâs terrible schemes! âŚbut might postpone them for a carrot break. And some petting. Comedy.
Shoot to Kill (I know you will). Cyber punk. Death lottery reaper!Phil tries to chase down Techno, but is thwarted by the principles of anarchy. Complete.
Hibernation. au where techno doesnât really hibernate for weeks at a time; he just thinks he does because his âfriendsâ drug him for long periods of time to help him learn how to 'lower his guard'. Complete.
The Hero of Their Dreams. Abused!Tommy finds escapism through his dreams, where he is the beloved hero of a fantasy world. And the people in his dreams will do anything to ensure Tommy never wakes up to the horrors of their reality. 5/6.
In Case of Malunion, Carve Through Bone. Collab with Sohr and Apple. Archeologist!Philza is a modern reincarnation of an ancient trio deity who unwittingly revives Technoblade and Kristin. Through a road trip of museum heists, Techno and Kristin start gathering up the shattered pieces of Phil's deitihood. Piece by piece they replace the mortal. Complete.
I've Heard It Both Ways (from The Voices) Psyche Au where Techno claims he has visions from The Blood God which helps him solve murder cases. Uh huh. That's what he's going with. Tommy (Lassiter) is having none of it. But after Skeppy (Mr Yang) captures them both, Tommy might not like the truth he finds. Complete.
The Evertrue Pull of Home. Birds use magnetic fields to navigate. Dark Kristin decides to blast his head with magnets so Philza has no compass home. Bedrock bros try to rescue him.
Can you love me, if I pretend? Human Techno finds refuge in an origins community by pretending to be a bunnyborn. It goes. Badly.
AMESMP
Context, I'm on an origins server playing a scientist phantom named Cessation.
Failure Analysis Log 3 is a fic told through a series of scientific contents regarding Wickburn Asper working on the Ancient City portal, trying to get into the afterlife. Tragedy, yuri (?!), horror.
Ame Smp intro, Seft (Cessation's phantom kid), Pod-cast posts 1, 2, battles, i'm like super behind explaining anything man gooood luck.
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Human Tommy who is a little too old to have a monster under his bed but does so any way. Technoblade is far less chuffed about the fact. Heâs a monster of nightmares! A beast of shadow and fear! And yes maybe he accidentally tripped the first time he tried to eat Tommy and then the kid was laughing and making fun of him, so now all his fear powers are USELESS since under-the-bed monsters are utterly defined by perception. And yet no matter how many times he tries to leave to go and eat someone else, Techno somehow canât, because Tommy doesnât expect him to be able to (and maybe, just maybe, Tommy needs someone to stay with him, just for a little longer, so he isnât so horribly alone. And of course, an under-the-bed monster gets shaped by that need). Technoâs power dwindles as Tommy gets comfortable around him, as he begins to starve with no orphans to eat.
But Tommy sometimes drops Cheetos down for him, so maybe itâs not so bad. And sometimes a hand dangled off the side of the bed, brushing at the edges of shadowy fur. And sometimes when Tommy finally feels safe enough to fall asleep, Techno bites the edge of the blanket to pull it up over him.
Techno isnât getting enough to eat at all, and every day heâs weaker. Cuddlier too, cause of the child magic, soft and sweeter than heâs meant to be. It feels like heâs being de clawed. It feels like he doesnât quite mind. Techno lays enervated beneath the bed, asking all sorts of questions about the world beyond outside the shadows and alleys. Learning about things like school and reading. Tommyâs really good at reading, and trying to teach Techno what all the squiggles mean so Techno can read while Tommyâs at school.
All the stories start to shift how he views the world. Figuring out like, how sad kids feel when their pet gold fish dies (how sad humans feel when their kid gets eaten). Or how growling isnât very nice. What it means to be a person instead of a beast.
And Tommy, he yearns for the under-the-bed world, where you can mess up all the time and donât have to do detentions or homework, and none of the other kids mutter about you in the halls. And youâre safe because youâre the biggest baddie around and you can just eat anyone you donât like.
Technoâs getting hungrier and hungrier every day. But maybe he doesnât mind. Maybe this is the only way he can be a nice creature, soft and tame. He canât eat Tommy, not at this point. And heâs starting to suspect even his bloodthirst couldnât drive him to eat a different kid, either, forever to wonder if theyâd read him stories and pet his fur, too.
And maybe Techno didnât ask about all of Tommyâs bruises cause those are normal in under-the-bed world. But maybe he is starting to see why thatâs wrong even if Tommy keeps trying to convince him otherwise, increasingly frantic to hush him up. Cause itâs the first time Technos ever seen Tommy scared. And a part of him lurches, devouring that fear, glowing eyes flashing open for the first time in days. But Techno canât leave the bed without death-fear bleeding into the air, so he canât do anything. Even on the nights when Tommy gets eerily quiet. At most he can poke his head out on the nights when heâs sobbing, licking his wet cheeks and trying not to think about how delicious they are.
It gets hard to do even manage that the longer since heâs eaten.
For Tommy, well, itâs gotten a lot easier to bear now heâs got Techno to come back to. And he wonât ruin that for the world, and in the mind of a kid nothing is more powerful than an abuser. Heâs so scared that Techno will get taken from him too, tossed out with all his other belongings. And he knows better to dig in the dumpster anymore after Dad caught him that one timeâ then he got locked in the pit of the garbage for hours. He canât let his friend get tossed out too like his stuffed animals and photos and the small pocket knife heâd stolen for safety.
But no matter how hard Tommy tries to be good, it just doesnât come naturally to creatures like him, like Techno. He messes up. He always will. And this time he goes running to hide under-the-bed because itâs the only safety heâs ever known. Besides, thatâs where the monsters are meant to be. Alongside the loathsome beasts and the mongrels is where he belongs, or so Dad tells him.
Techno curls around the boy, the scent of his fear curling through his nostrils. He shudders at the terrible hunger in him, salivating at the prey burying itself in his clutches. And when the door slams open, the pure fear bleeds into the air, into the monster, who swells with ravenous power.
A large hand plunges under-the-bed, clawing into hair and yanking.
Techno rips into the abuser, the most vicious heâs ever been. Fueled by pure terror, he surges into a behemoth, snarling and lethal. Yet starving for so long, chained by a child convinced his foe is all-powerful, he wasnât supposed to win. Yet Techno grits his tusks and pushes himself, further and further, because he needs this man dead. Heâs not strong, but heâs fast, dodging blows and striking out in raking claws and fierce nips. Heâs not strong, but heâs clever, lurching out of the way of charges so the foe slams into things, hurling blankets that blind and entangle. Heâs not strong, but heâs evil. The evil, wretched, remorseless monster under-his-bed, and thereâs only room for one monster in Tommyâs life.
Techno stands over the corpse of the abuser, and in a frenzy feeds for the first time in weeks. The wrenching of bones from sockets and the crack of eviscerating teeth fills the room. And as the blood frenzy fades, the sound of crying.Â
The fear is undeniable for a feeding monster. Techno lunges for the next prey, and the next, desperate after starving for so long. For the first time, Tommyâs scared of Techno. Of the thing thatâs devoured the looming titan of his life. That sort of terror is a death knell, with a monster under-the-bed. Techno snarls in delight, making sure to scrape his claws along the floorboards as he approaches, relishing the fear. Tommyâs sob chokes as he slinks under-the-bed, the expectation of his death ensuring it.
Techno slowly, carefully, breaths in the scent of his terror. And then proceeds to devour every last drop of fear. A tricky thing when everything in him craves blood. But with great pains and precision, he eats only the fear and not the boy.
Tommy curls into him as his terror dies in chunks, leaving him with a strange null. He doesnât know how to feel at all. Safe? Is this safety? Is this beast curled around him what safety feels like? Is the blood in its fur?
After a few minutes they pick up bits and bobs. Steal money and food and supplies. And they plunge into the night, knowing nothing can possibly be more dangerous.
Techno feels strange. Not quite an under-the-bed monster anymore, but a full fledged imaginary friend.
Techno of the âyou cannot kill me in any way that mattersâ variety, a zombified Piglin with warped forest mushrooms crawling through his fur. The Piglins avoid it for a good reason, but Techno never feared consequences, never feared death, and now he never will. Technoblade never dies. Maybe Technoblade already has, and it wasnât enough to stop him, either.
The Lambs Wolves Wear and hair cultural signifiersÂ
Some fun background world building for Lambs that Philzaâs perspective eventually explores. In Philzaâs culture, braids and ribbons can tell quite a bit of information about someone. Generally they are signifiers of relationships and dynamics. Here are a few of their meanings:
A child gets their first braids at one years old, along with their name. This is cause thereâs a high infant mortality rate.Â
A childâs hair is done by their parents. This is shown through the complexity of the braids, which in general is a signifier of how much the person doing the braiding cares. Thereâs an awful lot of time and trust thatâs implied in them. Conversely, orphans or kids being raised by other guardians donât have the same types of braids, often simpler. Not that they canât be loved the same amount of course, but that the orphan status is an important part of the childâs history easily decoded by an observer.Â
Children will also have siblings braids, one per sibling on one side of the head. These are the simplest braids possible, and usually messy when done by the actual sibling. Theyâre designed to be a way for siblings to practice braiding others hair.
Through the week, braids can be redone (or not) whenever desired depending on preference, but must be  redone on holy dayâs evening. Itâs expected to be a time dedicated to Prime. In practiceâŚ.this doesnât always play out lol.Â
When advancing from childhood, a person will generally cut their hair short to claim independence, and will be expected to braid their own hair, typically in different styles suited for self braiding. Tend to still have sibling braids, but parent strands arenât expected because at that point theyâre an adult. Most do this at 18, but it depends on the kid.Â
Wilbur cut his hair in an act of rebellious defiance circa age 13, and regrets it a lot even if he wonât admit it. Technoblade hasnât cut his hair because he canât be bothered with things like teenage rebellion.Â
Once adults, simpler braids are done for oneself, again with complex ones denoting a loved one, typically a partner, close friend, or family. Hereâs lots of context specific types for things like celebrations, tragedies, trying to find a partner, certain jobs.Â
All this varies wildly by class. Philzaâs family puts some effort into it but doesnât have much money to spare for anything really fancy. Also the practicality must be considered for the farmers, and how long a squirming Tommy can sit still for!Â
As a widow, Philza has his bangs pulled back into a bow (black for mourning). He has no braids. Itâs a simple hairstyle designed to be done by himself since thereâs no one left in his life to do it for him :)
When a person dies they are given the most intricate hair their loved ones can muster. This means bringing out the fine ribbons, adding things like gold and jewels if they can afford it, or other pretty objects if they cannot. Itâs so the person can look their best when meeting Prime.Â
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It was hard to hate the man that had held Technobladeâs hand as he died.Â
âTechnobladeâ mercifully spared him the pain of it, but there was little they could do to ease the unadulterated terror of dying. But Philza had, or had tried, sitting at Technobladeâs bedside as the horrible night dragged on, stroking his long hair tangled with cold sweat and thrashing. Piling Technoblade beneath increasing layers of old quilts, rubbing warmth into his freezing hands. Soothing the incoherent babbling of a mind delirious with the voices of the dead, or the illness his father mistook it for. Telling Technoblade stories to keep his mood up. Telling Technoblade the chills would break soon.Â
Telling Technoblade he was going to be alright.Â
Though âTechnobladeâ had assured the child of this a thousand times over, it was only Philzaâs words that relieved his fear. Philzaâs voice should have been drowned in the chorus of the dead, yet Technoblade latched onto it like a lifeline.Â
One, ultimately, that wasnât strong enough.
...aka chapter two of The Lambs Wolves Wear is up!!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Mouthwashing style piece for my sbi zombie au, To Return The Favor of Raising Me. Techno has to take responsibility. Thereâs no one else left to, no matter the disgusting lengths he goes to keeping the shambling corpse of Philza going. Thereâs no one else left. Thereâs no one else left.
And the moment Kristin gives an excuse for him to kill her, it might even be true.
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Genuinely so cute that Tommy is teaching his neighborâs kid to play Minecraft.
really sucks how stressed he is about assuring people itâs wholesome and heâs not a pedophile, but, as many unfortunate people as that dude worked with as a teen it makes sense :/
Vampire Phil vs Extreme Introvert Techno. Cue series of hijinks where techno is immune to vampires bc awkward nerd. Phil has hospitality rules and canât break in so at first he just tries to ambush. Only. Techno never leaves. Like ever. Hmm next plan. Phil trying to find a way to get invited into technos house. Except uh oh heâs too nervous to ever answer the doorbell. Canât thrall while techno avoids eye contact. No charms cause aroace. Doesnât take phone calls. Itâs INFURIATING. Phil trying at Halloween bc surely techno will at least answer the doorbell. Techno slides candy through the mail slot. BUT he complimented Philâs costume so thatâs progress!
okay so the only time techno ever really leaves his house is to take floof on walks. Except floof is actually a werewolf Tommy and itâs ON SIGHT when he smells Phil so that doesnât work either. were Tommy is basically an emotional support animal that makes sure techno is semi functional and not utterly vitamin d deficient. Barks when itâs time to take meds stuff like that. Heâs very talented like that.
Techno has absolutely zero idea, he just tossed out a half eaten hamburger one day and suddenly had a pet. And Iâve decided right now he doesnât believe in supernatural stuff at all.
As for how much were per wolf in this bad boy, once a month is hilarious and really adds to the âthis man NEVER leave he homeâ vibe thatâs the cornerstone of the premise. Maybe techno just figures heâs a stray that only sometimes swings around and doesnât pay enough attention to figure out itâs always 29 1/2 days. And maybe Tommy can transform for about three days cause the moon is still fullish that duration. But itâs okay if his dog has commitment issues since the one time techno tried to keep him inside too long Tommy chewed through a wall.
Tommy canât admit heâs a were wolf bc then he has to admit he turns into the tiniest fluffiest cutest widdle dog ever. At least once techno caught him eating cereal at midnight but got so flustered with Random Child in house that he just left. Calling the police would require a Phone Call so nope heâll just accept that.
ranboo is a space alien trying to study Techno for a school project and is very frustrated with Phil because theyâre here to study HUMANS not VAMPIRES. Theyâll fail if their project gets eaten! And so Ranboo starts frantically trying to catch Phil in the space equivalent of a cup and paper. But now Phil is the one unconsciously evading all Ranbooâs snares by the fact of him just being a really really old vampire thatâs gotten risky with his immortality for the hell of it. Like Ranboo tossing garlic all over Technoâs drive way and Philza fully eats one cause heâs the vampire equivalent of a lactose intolerant person with zero self control. And he likes spicy food.
Meanwhile Techno glances outside and just goes ??? when he notices a bunch of stakes poking up in his yard. Decides Floof was trying to bury sticks for whatever reason and continues playing Minecraft.
Tubboâs just been hanging out doing his own thing but knows about Tommyâs human friend and one day goes to see Techno for himself and notices all the other people bothering this one specific guy. And immediately figures out whatâs going on. And tries to warn Techno like heyyyy, so buddy, youâve got a vampire after you and an alien studying you and actually your random dog is my best friend a werewolf and Techno refuses to believe him regardless of all of the evidence he has. Tommy literally changes form in front of him and heâs like âwow nice sleight of hand there. Whereâd you stash my dog.â
Tubbo as a tired superhero that got magic powers radiation but is lowkey dying under the responsibility and has been trying to force Tommy to notice for years but Tommy thinks itâs ânormalâ supernatural stuff. Also has been trying to defeat Ranboo in battle for like a month bc that HAS to be an alien invasion right but Ranboo is from a battle heavy culture and is awkward as hell so thinks Tubbo is trying to befriend him. Also Philza is one of Tubboâs villains of the week and so heâs really stressed about thwarting him/saving techno.
And techno is just like how the HECK does an orphan keep breaking into my house!???? Floof youâre the worst guard dog ever stop wagging your tail and licking him! He probably has children diseases!
Thinking about concept of tommy actually being very a very dangerous opponent in battle but since heâs always trying to pick a fight with Technoblade of all people he seems entirely harmless because techno keeps doing the equivalent of swatting him like a fly
Tommy is face down in the dirt screaming while techno keeps saying âif you wish to defeat me then you must train for-â âSHUT UPPPâ and so everyone else thinks ah tommy isnât all that in terms of fighting ability. Look at how he barely lasted a minute with technoblade!
Except no one else has ever lasted a minute in fighting Technoblade. Actually Tommyâs lasted the longest and thats with the fact that Techno favors him. Tommy can and will drag someone through the dirt, into their grave, in a fight. Itâs just that he only wants to fight techno
Well I *was* trying to work on more Minecraft crows⌠but instead I drew out a silly little comic of Phil giving a Basalt Delta Crow a bath đ§ź
Poor buddies,,, As their name implies, theyâre from the Basalt Deltas of the Nether, so theyâre covered in ash & soot 24/7. Meaning, theyâve never actually seen what they look like without all that powder covering their bodies.
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