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Aleksander, elbowing Nikolai at 3am: Move over, sobachka.
Aleksander: Niko.
Aleksander, nudging him again: You're on my side.
Nikolai, half-asleep, rolling over to throw an arm over him and snuggle: Always.
Aleksander, gone just a little bit glassy-eyed: [darkling.exe has stopped working]
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Inej: have fun, don't shoot anyone
Jesper: you got it! Wait- don't shoot anyone??
Inej:
Jesper: I can't have fun and not shoot anyone. I CAN'T DO BOTH!!
(706): The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that’s only happened once so it’s okay
jesper: whenever kaz is mad at me, i go and tighten the lids on all of our jars so he has to get help from me
*the sound of glass breaking in the background*
jesper: it hasn’t worked yet, but it’ll happen
Fedyor: Nina, I’m deeply disappointed in your taste in men
*Matthias, innocently passed out in his waffles*
Nina: I could say the same
Fedyor:
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Kaz is trying to flirt someone help him
Ivan, sternly: This is what we call a “traumatic experience.”
Ivan, pointing at Alina and Mal: Not a “bruh moment.”
Ivan, pointing at Aleksander: Not “it is what it is.”
Ivan, pointing at Nikolai: And definitely not “oof LMAO.”
Fedyor, standing guiltily in front of his new boss: Every time someone requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.
Aleksander, baffled: Why?
Fedyor: Because I didn't think March 31st existed.
Aleksander: ...Today is March 31st.
Fedyor: I know. Ivan told me.
Aleksander: [stunned silence]
Fedyor: 30 days hath September, April, March, and November...
Aleksander: June and November. So how many meetings do I have today?
Fedyor, scratching the back of his head awkwardly: 93. Sir.
