Sometimes I wonder what it was really like for Matthias to see Nina in labour. In the moment, he simply wondered whether Kaz was capable of taking a real birth because of the show Nina was putting on, but I wonder if his thoughts ever drifted, just for a moment.
He was clearly meant to be a father. He was an older brother before his family was murdered, and he used to help his mother with her pains and swollen feet, and then with Alys, he was the only one to have real empathy for the pain of pregnancy. He massaged her feet, got her chocolate, and tried to reassure her that she would be okay, and no one was going to hurt her, even if he wasn't sure it was true himself.
I wonder if he looked at Nina, in pain, struggling, laid back on a boat and imagined pulling her close, imagined her holding a baby girl or baby boy to her chest, I wonder if he ever considered what their children would look like. I wonder if, looking at her, he thought about what their life would be like if and when, they actually came around to having children. I wonder if he was bittersweet, or had to stop himself from tearing up.
I wonder if he ever wanted their child to be Grisha, ior have Nina's eyes, or imagined what it would be like to cook waffles for Nina in a small home. I wonder if he'd want to wrap her in a Fjerdan shawl, because expecting mothers needed to stay warm and comfortable. I wonder if he'd smile to himself when she complained it was itchy.
It was Matthias first and last time of seeing her pregnant, and I wonder if some part of him couldn't help but wish they were older, years down the line, krunge in hand, and actually awaiting the arrival of a little one.
Even if Matthias wasn't her's in the moment, I wonder if it felt wrong for him to see her without a wedding band.