#imaginary conversation

“Sorry, I don’t know if my ED will let me, I’ll have to ask.”

You grind the coffee with the small roar of a mind trying to clear itself. I set the table, glance out the window where dew has baptized every living surface.

FAN: "Wow, I can't wait to see how Assane and Ben's relationship develops this season! I ship them so hard..." WRITER: "Oh, it'll develop all right. In a way nobody is going to see coming." FAN: "Okay, I'm liking what I'm hearing..." WRITER: "They'll be doing all their usual best-friend capers just like usual. And then..." FAN: "Oh my god, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes!" WRITER: "...Assane betrays Ben to the cops in order to save his mom who he hasn't seen since he was a kid." FAN: *gasps in horror* WRITER: "It's so great, right? Because he needs to make a sacrifice, so what could be better than sacrificing his best friend?" FAN: "I -- I don't see how -- why -- " WRITER: "Clearly you're speechless. That's good, that's what we want." FAN: "But like -- we'll get an intimate exploration of Ben's feelings after going through such a soul-crushing event, right?" WRITER: "No, sorry, it doesn't look like we'll have time. We have a fun friendly-enemy Assane/Guédira storyline to get to, plus Claire discovering that Assane is still alive and falling back in love with him, and then we need to tie up the main plot with Assane's mom...Yeah, no, Ben's just gonna sit in jail for the second half of the season. I think he has, what, four scenes? Oh, I almost forgot to mention, he gets beaten up pretty badly in there" FAN: *wails* WRITER: "We don't see what happened, though. He just has awful scrapes on his face when Claire visits him." FAN: "He -- he gets visited by Claire?" WRITER: "Yeah, she manages to get the truth out of him. You know, that Assane isn't dead. It's actually very heartwarming. But boy, if you thought Ben was already at rock bottom..." FAN: "For the love of god, does Assane visit him? Like, in disguise or something??" WRITER: "Let's see...no, he doesn't. But I do have him sending Ben a steak." FAN: *brain breaking* WRITER: "You know, 'cause prison food is terrible." FAN: "A STEAK??" WRITER: "Whoa, you don't sound too happy." FAN: "DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT ASSANE'S WAY OF APOLOGIZING FOR BETRAYING HIS BEST FRIEND WHO IS IN LOVE WITH HIM IS TO SEND HIM A FUCKING STEAK?!?!?!?!?!" WRITER: "Uh, who said Ben was in love with Assane? You know this isn't Good Omens, right? Anyway, it's a really good steak. With fries on the side." FAN: "But I need catharsis!! Do you know how devastating all of this is? Where is the heartfelt reunion where Assane falls to his knees and BEGS for forgiveness?" WRITER: "Sorry, emotional reunion scenes are reserved for Claire only. Anyhow I don't see why you're so upset, since Ben gets out of jail at the end of the season." FAN: *sobbing* WRITER: "But there's a twist where we cryptically imply that Ben might have turned against Assane, and that their relationship is irreparably damaged." FAN: *sobbing even louder* WRITER: "Man, I swear to god, you all are so hard to please."

You tell me to live each day as if it were my last. This is in the kitchen where before coffee I complain of the day ahead—that obstacle race of minutes and hours, grocery stores and doctors. But why the last? I ask. Why not live each day as if it were the first— all raw astonishment, Eve rubbing her eyes awake that first morning, the sun coming up like an ingénue in the East? You grind the coffee with the small roar of a mind trying to clear itself. I set the table, glance out the window where dew has baptized every living surface.

(Inspired by a tiktok btw)

A: *makes art* B: “So you’re making art?” A: “Yes.” B: “Why make it that way?” A: “It speaks to me.” B: “Self-indulgent much.” A: “Excuse me?” B: “No one will clearly look at this; it’s clearly self-serving.” A: “I’m sorry...” B: “Art must serve the people.” A: “That’s true...” B: “Art must have value to people.” A: “You’re right...” B: “Art must-- wait, stop! I told you not to do that! What did I just say?” A: “Art must serve the people. Art must have value to them.” B: “That’s right, so why are you still making that?” A: “I am still people, aren’t I?”