#im growing

that old house is not the one you are in now. it might be the same foundation, the same concrete, the same soil looking up to your rafters, but its not the same house. you are not the same person you were before.

no house, and no person, was truly good and perfect in the beginning. thats why houses are renovated. they are torn down. we learn from the mistakes of our past construction, and we make better houses. we learn from our past mistakes, and we do better. you are better. you are not a bad person now, even if you were before. take a look at the room you are trying to grow in.

do you have enough light? do you have water? fertilizer? do you oxygen? carbon dioxide? do you have the right tools you need to grow?

if you said no to any of that, then its okay. whether you are in a basement, or in an attic, or some box you cant get out of- you will be okay.

you will be okay.

break down a wall, and make a window. it doesnt need glass. it doesnt need a frame. it doesnt need to look pretty.

houses in construction are not pretty. renovations in progress are not pretty. it doesnt have to look pretty. it will never look pretty in the building state.

take the dew from the side of the wall, or the water from the gutters. it doesnt need to be clean. it doesnt need to be tasty. it just needs to be water.

go through the window, or the door if you have one, and get your hands in the dirt. grab it. soak it in. connect with it. get dirty. drench yourself in the soul of the soil. it doesnt have to be anything but dirt.

breath in the air. exhale. do it again. and again. breathe. feel it in your lungs. feel it. its air, and thats all that matters.

you are growing. do you see that? do you see that you are growing?

its okay if you cant. i can see you are growing. and im proud of you. did you hear that? im proud of you.

let yourself grow. build your own house. its your house, after all. its for you. your house is not for anyone else. make it for yourself. if that means you burn it down, or change the furninature, or move out completely, then so be it.

A Relaxing Afternoon (1/?)