We thought about taking a break but decided to move on with finding a new fertility doctor. He is AMAZING. He’s very straight forward and he is all about black excellence!

He ran blood work and everything came back normal except my vitamin d levels. I no longer have PCOS due to bloodwork, it’s only due to a collection of physical symptoms. Also, He did an ultrasound and everything looks great.

Today I had a hysteroscopy. The most painful thing I could have experienced but I’m all in it for my future brown blessings. And guess what! Everything looked great and now we just wait on the tissue test results.

My appointment is next week and I think we finally get to start medication! I will be taking Letorzole instead of clomid.

Hysteroscopy results indicate that my uterus is a hospitable environment for an embryo. No growths, no inflammation. Now, just a two week wait period for results of the scrape.

Today was the first staff-report day of the new school year, and there’s one thing I feared more than anything.

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It wasn’t facing the zillion emails from parents about the status of their child’s specialized transportation, schedule, or locker placement concerns.

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It wasn’t pulling out the Pyrex to pack lunch.

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It wasn’t being bound to a school building for eight solid hours.

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It wasn’t seeing my ex-boyfriend/co-worker while carrying all that infertility/summer happy hour bloat.

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It was the staff meeting that I feared, where announcements are made regarding new staff pregnancies. Why fear? Well, that fear was for my psyche. I don’t break (IVF warrior qween strong baby!) but I sure do bend like a yogi master on a muscle relaxer. For years, how I’ve yearned to join that exclusive list. The list is read by the principal with such jubilance, the expectant parent glowing with pride while the rest of the staff claps.

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It reminds me that nature has been cruel to me.

It points out my genetic flaws.

It makes me feel THIS small.

It stirs up: “will I ever be on that list?”

It’s gutting.

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So throughout the pregnancy announcements, I forced my mind into positive territory. I counted my blessings. I have a wonderful husband with whom I share my life. I have a job I love. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I have fulfilling friendships. I have money in my bank account. My blessings are so bountiful that by the time I finished listing them, the principal had already moved along two agenda items to discussing building upgrades.

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Ok ok ok okurr we good. AF has arrived (w a vengeance, that total b), so we all sortsa good for next Friday’s hysteroscopy. Is my uterus a hospitable environment for an embryo? TBD.