#ivfwarriorqween

save. read when necessary. kick butt. repeat.

when you’re 26 weeks pregnant and your delivering hospital updates their visitor policy (bc: COVID19) to no support people for labor & delivery.

Excuse me? (Immediately reread)

That means delivering alone.

Cue: immediate panic attack.

After properly freaking completely the fcuk out, the hospital rolled back this policy to allow one support person for l&d and thank my lucky, shining, brilliant stars for that. Daily and constant prayers that it remains in place or the need for a visitor policy at all lifts by end of June.

But that brings me to all the extras. Showers being postponed. Prenatal classes before cancelled. Diaper showers (whatever the hell that even is) being shut down. Other women seem bothered by missing these “milestones,” but to me - they’re just extras. I didn’t spend thousands of dollars and put myself through IVF hell for the stuff. I did it for the baby.

IVF prepared me for this: the trials, the tribulations, the heartbreak, the change of plans, the need to be flexible AF. The current pandemic has not sucked the joy out of this pregnancy: not by a long shot. It’s allowed me to rest at home while still working. It’s allowed me to walk in the sunshine daily. It’s allowed me to appreciate with a full heart all the blessings I have, first of which is: this miracle baby. The strength of an #ivfwarriorqween does NOT just apply to the conception. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

repeat to self:

I am a courageous IVF warrior qween

I am a courageous IVF warrior qween

I am a courageous IVF warrior qween

2019: we walked through the depths of infertility hell, flames licking at our heels every step of the way. It tested our relationships, our friendships, our bank accounts, our determination, our strength, our resolve. There were movements when I dared just succumb to the fire, to give up, to give in. But we pressed onward, burnt and broken, until so much science and so much love gave us what we fought for so badly: a pregnancy.

Five weeks, 3 days pregnant

Bloodwork this morning w a surprise ultrasound. I wasn’t aware we were doing an ultrasound, and may have called hubs upwards of six times to get his booty down to the clinic, but apparently staying up late to watch the Sunday night NFL game got homeboy sleeping in today.

Well then.

Turns out, we have a gestational and a yolk sac! And a wiggly little worm-looking embryo tucked in that sac(s).

There were tears. There were lots of tears. Fact: I was blubbering like a baby. Bye bye, mascara, my lashes are flying solo today. These hormones are NO JOKE. Doc was so compassionate, sweet enough to say when I apologized like a fool for crying, “you worked so hard for this pregnancy!,” handing me a tissue.

HCG level went up almost 3000% (you go, HCG!) and progesterone is where it should be.

Next up next week: heartbeat.

ya’ll IVF warrior qweens are gold, baby. solid GOLD.

yes. yes. yes. a hundred times: YEESSSS 👏🏻

To all the IVF warrior qweens who need to hear this today, I SEE YOU: